My suspicion that the two got back heightened. Maybe the time that they spent in Europe made him realize that he still has feelings for Irene. If not, then maybe he's two-timing us.

If I'm not mistaken, Irene is still in Europe while I'm obviously here in the States. Kumbaga, tinutuhog niya kami para may babae siya kahit saan man siya pumunta. Who knows at baka marami pa kami.

"Maybe that's why he gave me a teddy bear! Pampalubag-loob kumbaga!" Sabi ko sa kapatid habang pabalik-balik na naglalakad. "Alam niyang may ginawa siyang hindi maganda kaya para hindi siya makonsensya, binigyan niya ako—"

"I think you should stop assuming and go ask him instead," my sister cut me off. Unlike me, she's calmly sitting on my bed while I've been pacing back and forth.

Pagod na ako sa ginagawa pero ito lang ang alam ko na magpapakalma sa akin. Hindi ako pwedeng manahimik lang dahil baka sugurin ko si Martell o mag-rant sa Twitter.

"Ako ang maaagrabyado kung mag-aassume ako. So why would I do such?" Tanong ko pabalik sa kapatid at tinaasan siya ng kilay pero clown yata ang paningin niya sa akin at mahina pang natawa.

"I think you really like him and you just don't know that it's more than what you think."

I tilted my head quizzically, confused on what point she's trying to make.

"Let's say you know in yourself that you like him 70 percent but in reality, you like him 100 percent," she explained but I got confused even more.

"Yeah? Anong connect?"

"Takot kang masaktan kaya pinapangunahan mo siya dahil alam mong mas masasaktan ka kapag siya mismo ang nagsabi," dagdag niya.

"Oh? Tapos?"

She sighed and shook her head. "There is a direct proportion between the percentage you like a person and the pain that that person can inflict you."

"Let's put it this way," aniya ulit bago pa ako makasagot. "If I told you years ago that you're such a spiteful sister, what do you think would be your reaction? Would you care?"

"Honestly, no," sabi ko sabay yuko.

"Why do you think you wouldn't care?"

"Because we're not in good terms and I didn't really like you before."

"See? That's my point," she said with a snap. "Wala kang pakialam at hindi ka masasaktan kahit ano pa ang sabihin ko dahil wala kang pakialam sa akin."

"You like him a lot and because of that, you are affected by whatever he does or say. If he really is playing with you— since you like him a lot, you know that you'll get hurt a lot as well. So in order for you to avoid such pain, you answer your own questions instead of asking him. In short, mas gusto mong ikaw na lang ang mag-assume dahil hindi iyon kasing sakit kung siya mismo ang magsabi na pinaglalaruan ka nga lang niya," dagdag niya ulit.

"Fine! You have a point," I admitted, then raising my hands as if accepting my defeat. "Since when did you know these kind of stuffs?"

"Noon pa," aniya. "If only you took the time to get to know me..."

I sighed, feeling guilty because she's right. I didn't try getting to know her. I just assumed that she has an unlikable personality and that she's the antagonist of my life.

"I'm sorry," I said apologetically, then sitting on the edge of the bed and hugged her from the side.

"Forgiven," mabilis niyang sagot. "Now, don't make the same mistake twice and stop assuming. Go clarify things with him so you won't regret anything. Who knows? Maybe that picture was taken years ago."

Tinulak niya ako patayo at nagulat naman ako dahil sa kaniyang lakas. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay at pinalakihan ng mata. Ako naman, biglang napagtanto ang kaniyang ginawa.

"Did you just manipulate me?" Hindi ko makapaniwalang tanong pero nginisihan niya lang ako. "You're manipulative!"

"And you're mean," she said matter-of-factly. "Now go to your babe if you don't want me to snatch him from you—"

"Hey!" Saway ko pero humalakhak lang siya.

"Damn! I am enjoying this," she said with amusement. Mukhang tuwang-tuwa talaga siya sa pang-aasar sa akin.

"I'll ask him tomorrow—"

"Nope!" She cut me off. "You won't be able to sleep peacefully and end up overthinking again."

I sighed in defeat and went to the bathroom to change. I tried calling Martell but he wasn't answering so I called Marga instead. Aniya raw may party silang pinuntahan na magpipinsan at sinabi niya rin naman sa akin kung nasaan sila. Pagkalabas ko, nakabihis na rin ang kapatid at mukhang sasamahan pa ako.

"He's in a party," I said. "You can't go with me."

"Why not?!" Sagot niya sa nagrereklamong tono.

"Because you're pregnant? You can't drink, Gemini."

"Duh! I'm not drinking, okay?" She rolled her eyes at me and went to the door. "The last time I did, I ended up pregnant," she added in a whisper. It was as if she was speaking to herself.

Napailing na lang ako sa kapatid at saka kami pumunta sa parking lot. Nagkuwentuhan kami buong biyahe at natigil lang nang makarating kami sa pribadong venue ng party .

Nanatili siya sa sasakyan at hindi na raw papasok. Ako naman, hindi na nahirapan na makapasok dahil may nakakilala sa akin.

Dumiretso ako sa loob at hinanap si Martell. Ang una kong nakita ay si Gabriello na nasa may bar counter at may kausap. Nandoon din si Orion at ang kaniyang kapatid at mukhang nagtutuksuhan. Si Marga naman, nasa may dance floor at todo bantay naman si Martini sa kaniya.

Bago pa ako makapagtanong sa isa sa kanila, dumapo ang mga mata ko sa isang sulok at nakita roon si Martell na may kahalikan na naman!

Hindi iyon si Irene! Mukhang tama nga ako at marami siyang babae kahit saan man siya pumunta!

Tama nga ang kapatid na dahil sobra-sobra ang pagkagusto ko kay Martell, sobra-sobra rin ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon dahil sa nakikita. We may not be a couple but because of his "confession", a part of me started hoping that maybe we can be one.

The girl was now straddling him and is kissing him on the neck. His head is rested on the couch and it seems to me that he's really enjoying it! Hindi ko man nakikita ang itsura niya dahil nakatalikod siya sa akin, alam ko naman na siya iyon. 

Padabog akong tumalikod at naglakad palabas. Gusto kong manabunot dahil sa inis kaya umalis na lang ako bago pa ako gumawa ng eskandalo.

Bago pa ako makarating sa parking lot, may humablot sa kamay ko. Out of shock, I threw a punch to the person behind me but a hand caught it.

I almost stumbled out of shock when I saw that it was Orion and her sister, Oceanne. Si Oceanne ang humablot sa akin at ang kaniyang kapatid naman ang sumalo ng suntok ko.

Dahil sa kahihiyan, sandali kong nakalimutan kung bakit ako nandito. I apologized to the both of them but they assured me that no harm was done.

"Martell is asleep," ani Orion. "He drank a lot and we're supposed to get him some water but then... well, you saw it."

"We're actually about to call you," Oceanne said, then giving me a small smile.

Napasinghal at napailing na lang ako sa sarili. I went back inside and we all brought Martell to my car. They asked me to bring Martell home because they're all gonna be going home late and their condos are far from his.

Nagulat si Gemini nang bumalik akong marami ang kasama. Anang kapatid na ihatid ko muna siya sa apartment ko bago ko dalhin si Martell sa kaniyang condo dahil baka matagalan daw ako.

Hindi ko alam ang ibig niyang sabihin pero sinunod ko na lang. Wala namang problema sa akin dahil malapit lang ang apartment ko sa condo ni Martell.

Hindi naman ako nahirapan sa kay Martell dahil bigla naman siyang nagising. Nang makarating kami sa kaniyang unit, dumiretso siya sa may kusina at inubos ang isang pitsel ng tubig. Ako naman, nilibot ang tingin sa kabuuan ng kaniyang unit.

Katulad ng inaasahan, malaki ang condo niya at may dalawang palapag. Pinaghalong dark blue, white, at gray ang kulay ng interiors at may kaunting touch ng wood.

"You're here," aniya at lumabas ng kusina, malayong-malayo sa estado niya kanina. "I thought I was seeing things," he added, then shaking his head.

Kung kanina, tulog mantika siya, ngayon naman, parang hindi siya nakainom at parang wala lang nangyari.

"I'm good now, " he said with observant eyes. "In case you're wondering."

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot kaya tumango na lang ako. Ang plano ko lang naman ay ihatid siya rito at saka umuwi pero ngayong gising siya, hindi ko na alam kung ano ang gagawin.

"There's uh... something you should know," he spoke again, then lightly scratching his head. He gestured to the couch so we both sat there. "I'm not sure if you've seen it but uh, there's a photo of Irene and I years ago that's spreading right now. I know that we're not together but I just thought I should explain to you because I don't want you to think that I'm playing with you or anything."

Napakagat-labi ako sa narinig, biglang napagtanto na nag-assume nga ako! Gusto kong magsalita dahil kapag mag-eexplain siya, lalo lang akong magi-guilty dahil hinusgahan ko siya kanina.

"That photo was taken years ago, when we were still together," he continued and looked at me with pleading eyes. He looked like he's having a hard time explaining and that made me feel guiltier. "But I can assure you that there's nothing going on with us."

Tumango ako at saka huminga nang malalim. "Nakita ko..."

Napalunok siya at tumango rin. "I was actually really worried that you might've saw that. I didn't know how to explain it to you because uh... well, we're not together. I also didn't want to imply anything else and I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense right now it's just that I'm panicking and—"

"It's okay, Martell," I said, stopping him.

Mukhang nagpa-panic nga siya at ito ang unang beses na nakita ko siyang ganito kabalisa. Para siyang bata na naiwan ng nanay sa mall at hindi alam kung anong gagawin.

"I thought you were fooling with me," I admitted. His honesty caused me to say such even though it's humiliating on my part and even though it will put me in a bad light.

"I understand." He nodded again and gave me a reassuring smile. "I guess I just have to work harder to gain your trust."

"It's not that," I said, shaking my head. "i just have this bad habit of jumping into conclusions and judge people right away."

I gave him a sheepish smile and scratched my head, trying to hide the shame I'm feeling. Hindi na ako magtataka kapag unti-unti nang mababawasan ang pagkagusto niya sa akin pagkatapos nito.

He flashed a smile and opened his arms as if inviting me for a hug. Though surprised, I still scooted over and leaned on him. Ipinalibot ko ang kamay sa kaniyang baywang at lalo pang umusog papalapit sa kaniya at pasimpleng inamoy ang kaniyang damit. Mukhang nagulat siya sa ginawa ko pero hindi naman umangal at hinaplos-haplos na lang ang buhok ko.

"You're not mad, right?" Tanong ko at tumingala sa kaniya, naninigurado.

Mabilis siyang umiling at saka ipinagpatuloy ang paghaplos ng buhok ko.

"You know, I actually find you noisy and talkative but I don't know... when I got to know you more at that museum, I actually thought that you're actually cool," he said out of nowhere, surprising me.

Umalis ako sa pagkakasandal sa kaniyang katawan at tinitigan siya. He looks like he's having a trip to memory lane; reminiscing with a small smile on his face.

"I told myself that maybe you're just pretending and all but then... it was really hard to fool myself especially that deep down, I know that I like you already," he continued. "I think I like you more than I should..."

"You don't like talkative and noisy people?" Tanong ko.

Mabilis siyang umiling. "My eardrums hurt... but then, you're an exception. I don't mind if you talk and be noisy all day."

I bit my lips, trying to stifle a smile. "Kikiligin na ba ako?"

"That wasn't a pickup line but okay," he chuckled, shaking his head and covered his face with his palm before bringing his eyes back to me. "But hey, if it's a plus pogi points for me, why not?"

Napahalakhak ako sa kaniyang sinabi. Who would've thought that late night talks are actually fun?

I mean... I always thought late night talks were corny and all, and the only late night talks I enjoy are the ones with my friends. But now, I feel like a hypocrite for enjoying such now.

"So, tayo na?" I asked, earning a surprised look from him.

Nanlaki ang kaniyang mga mata sabay nganga. Mukha siyang pinaghalong gulat at lito.

"What?"

"Anong what?" Tanong ko pabalik. "My ways are not primitive, Martell. Kahit pa hindi mo ako niligawan, oo na kaagad ang sagot ko sa'yo!" Dahil ganoon kita kagusto!

Patuloy siyang tumunganga sa akin, mukhang naguguluhan pa rin.

"But I'm still courting you," aniya. "I don't think I did enough to even deserve to ask you..."

Nagkibit-balikat ako, "Pwede mo naman akong ligawan kahit tayo na, ah!" Sabi ko pa. "Ayaw mo nun, tayo na tapos ako pa nag-offer?"

Napapikit siya ng mga mata at napailing pero ngumingiti pa rin naman. Mukha siyang baliw na tumatawang mag-isa pero hinayaan ko na lang.

Sobrang cute niya at parang gusto ko na lang siya maging baby ko!

"Siyempre gusto," sagot niya sa napapaos na boses. Hindi siya makatingin sa akin at mukhang nahihiya pa. "Ayaw lang talaga kita madaliin dahil wala namang problema kung maghihintay ako."

Sandali kaming nagkatinginan at hindi ko alam kung ba't bigla kaming natawa. It's either we are each other's happy pills or we just see each other as clowns.

Natatawa siyang napailing bago umalis sa pagkakaupo at saka pumunta sa kusina. Pagkabalik niya, may dala na siyang yogurt.

Akala ko ibibigay niya iyon sa akin kaya laking gulat ko nang bigla siyang lumuhod.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked, looking like he's proposing but instead of a ring, he has a yogurt instead.

Napahalakhak ako at napatabon ng mukha. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakakatawa pero mukhang nababaliw na yata ako.

"Tinatanong pa ba 'yan?" Sagot ko sa nakakatuksong boses sabay ngisi. "Siyempre, oo! Malakas ka sa'kin eh!"

Tumawa kaming dalawa at napailing na lang sa kabaliwan namin. Tumayo siya at niyakap ako pero alam ko na binubuksan niya ang yogurt sa may likuran ko.

Tama nga ako dahil nang kinalas ko ang yakap, bukas na iyon at may kutsara pa!

Patuloy kaming nag-usap habang nagtutuksuhan. Akala ko nga may magbabago sa pakikitungo namin sa isa't-isa pero mabuti naman at walang ilangang naganap.

"So, what's our endearment? Darling? Babe? Honey? Sweet pea? Pumpkin?" Tanong ko.

Iyon ang naging usapan namin at wala kaming matinong maisip dahil tawa nang tawa lang kami. We found some unique endearments in the internet but for some unknown reason, we ended up laughing at those.

"How about infant woman?" He suggested.

Literal na nabuga ko ang iniinom dahil sa kaniyang tanong. Hindi ako nakasagot dahil umuubo-ubo na ako dahil sa gulat.

"I thought we're trying to be funny?" Aniya sabay kamot ng ulo.

He looks really cute when he does that. Para siyang inosenteng bata na hindi sigurado kung tama ba ang kaniyang ginagawa.

"You know... infant woman... baby girl" paliwanag niya na ikinahalakhak ko ulit.

I am aware of his silly and witty side but this one is just on another level.

Napailing na lang ako sabay kurot ng kaniyang pisngi. "Just call me anything you want."

Hindi na kailangan ng endearment dahil ang simpleng pagtawag niya sa akin ng "Axyne" ay parang endearment na para sa akin. Sinusuway ko ang mga tumatawag sa akin ng ganoon at hindi ko alam kung bakit hinayaan ko lang si Martell.

We dropped the topic on endearments and watched a movie instead until we fell asleep. I woke up around midnight and saw myself sleeping on Martell's lap while he's also asleep but he's sitting.

Bumangon ako sa pagkakahiga at pinatay ang TV bago bumalik sa sofa at umupo sa kaniyang tabi. Gusto ko sana siyang dalhin sa kaniyang kwarto para makatulog siya ng maayos pero alam kong hindi ko kaya ang kaniyang bigat kaya napag-isipan ko na pahihigain ko na lang siya dito sa sofa.

I carefully held his head and back so he can lay down on the couch. But before I could even move him, he already encircled his arms on my waist and pulled me down. He then let my head rest on his chest while caressing my hair.

Napangiti ako sa kaniyang ginawa at ipinalibot na lang ang mga braso sa kaniyang baywang at napagdesisyunan na dito na lang muna ako.

Natigil ang paghaplos niya sa aking buhok at napagtanto kong nakatulog na ulit siya. Hindi ko rin mapigilang mapaisip na napakarupok ko talaga. Napailing na lang din ako dahil sa mga naiisip.

Instead of giving my thoughts attention, I decided to close my eyes instead, then praying that this would end up well because I really want this to work.