Brett

The night was cold. Brett was cuddling under his blanket, and even under the thick blanket he was still shivering from the cold. Brett just wanted to feel warm and comfortable for once. Being in Eddy's place was his place of comfort till some weeks ago, but now being there was slowly torturing him and making him more and more hollow.

Brett coughed. He clutched the front of his shirt, fighting the pain shooting from his chest. It was burning and Brett could literally swear that his chest was tearing up inside. He coughed up some more till the familiar scent filled his nose. The sweet scent he had been sniffing this past 2 months. He spitted it out and saw the familiar red petals on his hand. It was tainted with his own blood but it wasn't enough to dull the petal's vibrant red.

He hated this.

Brett knew from the moment he coughed out the first petal from his mouth that he had been affected by the rare Hanahaki disease. But the thing that he hated the most was that he knew the sole reason why he was coughing out flowers like that.

It was all because of his overflowing feeling for his best friend.

Because of his feeling for Eddy.

And Brett hated himself for that. Because he was defiling his best friend in his mind. Each time Eddy was touching him, no matter how innocent it was, his mind would immediately do the work for him. He couldn't even count anymore how many times he had made Eddy his object of masturbation, how many times he had defiled his sweet innocent best friend in his mind.

Brett hated it.

And he knew Eddy would hate Brett the moment he knew it. That Brett was seeing Eddy in that light. That Brett had had this secret thought of him. That Brett wanted something more than what had happened that day. When Eddy had been drunk and kissed him passionately. He missed Eddy's warmth on his lips. He wanted to feel that soft lips on his once again. But he knew that wouldn't ever happened again. That what had happened was just merely an accident Eddy made from his drunken state. That maybe Eddy would kiss someone else if only it wasn't Brett he was with that night.

And that thought would always ended up with Brett chest burning. It burnt like his throat was on fire, like thousand needles were prickling his inside. But what torturing him most was the guilt he felt. The guilt from his abnormal feeling for his childhood best friend.

Brett pulled his blanket closer. The night winter wind was slipping through his window. Maybe he needed to repair it tomorrow. Brett tried hard to sleep, he was literally forcing his eyes to shut to no avail. It was worse since his brain had decided to actively pouring thoughts to him. 

"Eddy will leave you once he knows that you see him in that way."

"You are sick!"

"Is Eddy's cold okay already?"

"What should I do to play in tune?"

Brett sighed and decided he wouldn't get any wink of sleep if he didn't do something. He woke up from his bed, reaching out toward the table for his pair of glasses. The world being blurry was making him felt weak. Like telling him once again that he was nothing, that he wasn't worthy of Eddy with all his flaws. Brett sighed once again and decided to brew some Chrysanthemum tea to calm his nerve. He remembered Eddy telling him that it help with insomnia.

Brett took out a jar filled with dry Chrysanthemum petals and put some into a tea pot. His eyes observed the boiled water started to change color to transparent yellow. The sweet scent filled his nose, reminding him of the flower he was coughing up. Reminding him of this disease he was having.

"Mr.Yang, we really recommend you to take a surgery. From the examination, I found that your condition is even unique among all people infected with this disease. Usually the full bloom flower was only coughed out when the disease was already in the last terminal stage. But in your case, even in the early stage some of the full bloom flower has already formed. Most people with this slow progressing trait usually has longer to live before the condition worsen. But at the same time in long term they can't be remove by surgery any more."

Brett felt his chest burning. He knew this feeling, the familiar pain he suffered for this past months. How the flower formed in his trachea, slowly moving, trickling his mucosal wall. Brett once again clutched his chest. The pain didn't subsided as quickly as before though. He let his body fell to the ground, crawling into a ball position as his attempt to lessen the pain. Air wasn't going into his lung no matter how hard he gasped for it. His saliva trickling down his chin as his face got a little red from lack of air. Brett coughed and coughed, as hard as he could. He didn't want to die like this. At least not now. Not with all this regret in his chest.

Finally the flower was coughed out of his respiratory system. The full bloom red aster on his hand followed by his spit mixed with his blood. The sweet scent of flower mixed with the metallic scent of his blood. Brett couldn't handle it anymore as he threw up all his dinner.

Brett looked down at all the mess he had made. He didn't have the energy to clean it now, so he only threw a clean rug over it. The little guy walked slowly toward his room, the not so warm Chrysanthemum tea in his hand. He sipped it slowly, letting the warm sweet liquid soothed his sore throat.

Brett wanted to scream. He wanted to tell Eddy already...

But what would he tell him? Would he dare to confess to Eddy all about it? Would he be brave enough to brace the consequences?

Brett coughed, this time easier than before. The red petals flew out from his mouth. He took it, then putting it inside his drawers along with the full bloom red aster from before. 

More and more filling up empty corner of his drawer. 

"Early surgery is really recommended for this particular type of Hanahaki, Mr.Yang. There was never a case of survivor of slow type Hanahaki without the surgery."

Brett crept back into his bed, pulling up his blanket once again.

And once again he was feeling cold.

A.N.

Hi, guys!^^ I'm really grateful for all of you to read this silly story of mine. This silly attempt of me for making an angst story...:'D Hopefully I don't mess it up that bad...

Ahh... Sorry If you are confuse... But it's still a continuation from the one before... Yeah... Both of them have Hanahaki... :'D

And Merry Christmas to all of you! New year is getting near, and I hope all of you guys have a great days in this last few days of the year... And hopefully the next year will be even greater!:D

Btw, do anyone else have the Twoset 12 days of christmas song echoing in their head? Coz I'm constantly singing it every time I think no one is listening to me now...xD The lyric is really catchy and remembering their cracked voice is making me smile...

Hope you guys have a great day!

See you in the next chapter!

-Meli