Trying to get a hold back of her senses, Sara pulled away from the kiss. She didn't move, run or whatever, she just stood there trying to steady her breathing, and Nyssa holding her so close with their faces still inches apart is not helping.

"I need to think."

"Just be here with me, Sara. Even just this moment. Stop thinking about anything else. Just be with me." Nyssa pleaded with her.

"I can't deal with this right now."

"Then we'll deal with it later. Just stay here with me."

"I...okay."

Nyssa smiled and gave her a soft kiss.

"I haven't quite finished my bath. Would you care to join me?"

Nyssa stared deep into Sara's eyes, not taking a glance away even for a moment as she carefully undressed her. She led her towards the tub. They sat there holding each other in their arms, relishing in the moment that they can have together. Nyssa then kissed Sara's shoulder and the side of her temple.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being here with me."

Sara turned around on Nyssa's lap so she would be facing her. She cupped her face with both of her hands and planted a sweet kiss on her lips.

"There's no place I'd rather be."

They shared a slow, sweet kiss but still with a burning passion. Nyssa pulled Sara closer to her. The feel of their bodies touching made the need and want for each other even greater.

"Let me take you to bed."

Not trusting her mouth to form any coherent words, Sara simply nodded.

They rose from the tub, wrapped themselves in robes to prevent themselves from getting cold, though they're just going to remove them from each other by the time they reach the bedroom.

Sara laid herself on the bed and opened her robe to expose herself to Nyssa. Standing there and taking in the glorious beauty of Sara, Nyssa let her robe fall to the floor. She laid herself on top of Sara and trailed kisses down her body. Her forehead, her eyes, her nose, her lips. Down to her neck, shoulders, arms, torso, thighs, legs and in between. Everywhere her lips touched, there blooms a warm sensation like no other. She could feel Sara's heart beating in rhythm with her own. They made love to each other for what seemed like forever and did so again when they finally caught their breaths.

Nyssa gathered her close to her. Not ever wanting to let go. She's afraid that when the heat of the moment has passed for her, she would up and leave and see it as a mistake that would only make things complicated. But won't worry about that now. She would just savor every moment she has with her.

"I'm hungry. Let's go get something to eat."

Sara was playing with their twined fingers.

"Sure. Let me get us something to wear."

Nyssa took some of her oversized shirts and a couple of comfy shorts for her and Sara. They got dressed and went downstairs.

Sara heard female voices coming from the kitchen and stopped at her tracks when she recognized them. Nyssa looked at her. She looked like she's seen ghosts.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me they're here?"

"Who? Max and Rebecca?"

"Yeah."

"I forgot. As you see, I was distracted by you."

"I can't be here. They can't see me like this."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"No. I don't. They both know I have feelings for you and they're okay with that. It seems that you're the only one who's not. What's so wrong with us being together?"

Nyssa was getting tired of always trying to convince Sara.

"If you want to leave, fine."

Nyssa didn't even try to mask the hurt she was feeling and it pained Sara to see her like that. She entered the kitchen to join the other two girls, leaving Sara by the stairs contemplating why she really wanted to leave and whether to do so.

"Hey. We raided your fridge." Rebecca announced in greeting.

"I can see that."

The two girls had the apple pie she made the other night out and were eating a slice each with some vanilla ice cream.

"Who were you talking to?"

Nyssa didn't answer and just took a plate for herself and a slice of pie.

"Okay." Rebecca could sense there was something but didn't push.

"This is good. Did you make it?" Max asked as she took another bite.

"Yeah. I could make one for you, if you like."

"That'd be great. My mom would definitely love this."

Nyssa paused and looked by the entryway when she saw Sara there. The other two also looked at her.

"Hey." She said shyly.

"Hey. Would you like some?" Nyssa offered her some pie.

"Sure."

Rebecca and Max shared a knowing look and smiled at each other. They were just talking about them before they came down. They weren't aware that they were together upstairs, but it just confirmed what they were just discussing.

Max told Rebecca about what she realized about Nyssa and Sara. That she thinks they both have feelings for each other. She also told her about how she ended it with Nyssa. And Rebecca told her that she knew about Nyssa having feelings for Sara. Max almost got mad for her not saying anything to her, but she explained that it wasn't her place to tell and that it's better that she was able to get to know Nyssa in that way, which she agreed to.

 Sara sat awkwardly silent next to Max. She took the plate of apple pie that Nyssa handed her.

"Hey, isn't that Nyssa's shirt?" Max asked Sara, which got her a kick from Rebecca. "Ow."

Max knew that Sara must be feeling guilty with what happened with Nyssa, but she doesn't want it to be so uncomfortable between them. She gets it. She loves her more than she likes Nyssa, anyway. So for her, she'll give way.

Max rubbed at her shin where Rebecca hit and mouthed a 'what' to her.

"Okay, I'm just gonna say it."

"Max!" Rebecca warned her.

"I'm sorry, Max." Sara said on the verge of crying. She really felt terrible after what happened between her and Nyssa earlier and sitting there in Nyssa's shirt next to Max, who just broke up with Nyssa.

"Woah. Wait up. Sorry for what?" Max looked at her as if she's lost her mind. "I don't want an apology. You're my best friend. I don't want this to get in between us. I love you and I'm okay with it as long as it's what you want. And by the looks of the both you, I'm saying you both do."

Tears started flowing from Sara's eyes. Max held her close to her and tried to soothe her.

"It's okay. Really. I know how much you love me, you let me be with her even though it seems hard for you. Now I get the cranky, distant thing you had."

That got a laugh out of Sara, which made everyone smile.

"You're really okay with this?"

"Yeah. I'd rather have my best friend who I know loves me to bits, than be with someone I've had a huge crush on who I know has feelings for someone else. With that someone being my best friend. Wow. Saying that out loud sounds totally..."

"Complicated." Nyssa finished for her.

"Just enjoy this. If she breaks your heart, we'll plan on what to do with her later."

Everyone felt more at ease and they enjoyed their meal while talking about plans for Sara's birthday and laughing of some other things.

Max and Sara went to walk aroung the place while Nyssa and Rebecca cleaned up.

"Have you told her?" Rebecca asked, putting the plates in the sink, while Nyssa washed the glasses.

"No."

"Not any of it?"

"I told her I have feelings for her."

"But you didn't say how much."

"No."

They continued washing, drying and putting the dishes back in their places.

"When will you tell her? At least how you really feel."

Nyssa sometimes hated how much Rebecca knew her and how much she probed at times.

"I can't."

"Why? Are you afraid she'll run off scared if she finds out? And I'm not talking about your feelings."

Nyssa looked at her with warning, but it never fazed Rebecca to say any more.

"I know about you, yet I'm here."

"You know a glimpse of some stories, Rebecca. You don't know all."

"Okay fine. But if she does end up feeling the same way as you do, she'll accept that."

"We'll find out when that time comes."

Nyssa was relieved when Rebecca seemed to have let go of the topic. She doesn't want to discuss any of that. She's scared of the what if's and might be's. She just want to be here at this moment with Sara.

Max and Sara sat down on the grass by the back of the house. The space was still very vast from where they were looking.

"So, what about your pen pal?"

"I don't know. I still want to meet him, but I don't know."

"It sucks for him, 'cause Nyssa's here and he's just words on a paper."

"I guess."

Max looked at her friend and saw there was still some sadness in her features.

"I wanted to be mad at you, but I just can't. Seeing you two together. It's different. Like in a whole lot better kind of way."

She smiled and gave Sara another glance but she just stared far out.

"You wanna know what she told me when I asked her if she was in love with you?"

When Sara didn't answer, she continued.

"She said you're the reason she stayed in Starling."

That caught Sara's attention. She looked at Max questioningly.

"Don't look at me. I have no idea. But it seemed like a big thing, and the way she said it..."

Sara leaned on Max's shoulder.

"I don't know what to do, Max. I think I'm falling for her. But I also want to give my 'secret admirer' a chance."

Max laughed a little.

"Sorry. I know you were being serious but hearing you say 'my secret admirer' was just weird and funny."

"I'm glad I seem to be amusing you."

"I hope we can go back to normal then?"

"I'm sorry about that."

"It's good. We'll be fine."

Nyssa and Rebecca joined them to sit by the grass. Nyssa sat beside Sara and held her hand. Sara pulled her closer to her side. Rebecca sat beside Max and looked at the two then to Max.

"Is there any objection if I ask Max out on a date? I know things are kinda weird now, I just thought let's keep it coming."

"If she's okay with it, fine by me." Sara gave her approval. She knew how well they were getting along lately and how much they were spending time together, it wouldn't hurt to try. She smiled to herself as she realized it also applies to her and Nyssa.

"Nyssa?"

"No objection here."

"What do you say, Max?"

"I think I just went through a very complicated break up with a girl who is now together with my best friend, but what the hell. Yes."

They all sat there contented with where things are with the person sitting next to them.

--------------------------

I lie awake at night wishing that you were there right beside me. I wake up in the morning wishing it's your face I see. I look myself in the mirror and ask, "Could it ever be?" Could she ever love me for me.

~ME

Sara read it together with Nyssa. She had spent the night there with her and was glad that she brought the letters with her. She wouldn't have been anxious to read the next one when she wakes up and didn't have them with her.

"Aren't you jealous?"

"Of this?"

"Yeah."

"Should I be?"

"Why don't you just answer? What if I say yes, you should be."

"Then okay, maybe."

"Only maybe?"

"What do you want me to say? I can't bear to see you with anyone else other than me? I'm scared that you'd realize that there's someone out there better for you and you'd leave me?"

Sara was touched with all the heart bearing words Nyssa had said. She smiled and gave her a kiss.

"A 'Yes, I'm jealous' would have suficed. But that works too."

Nyssa smiled herself and returned the kiss.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"What do you mean by I'm the reason you stayed in Starling?"

"It means what it means. It's a long story, we'll get to that some other time."

Nyssa didn't want to discuss that yet with her, because discussing that means delving deeper into her feelings, her story, her true self. It's something she's not ready to do yet.