Fallen for an Angel

Flying high up in the sky

That's what I'm feeling when I see your smile

You take my breath with just one 'Hi'

Your beauty is undeniable

I just can't keep you out of my mind

I never want to see you cry

It's such a waste with those precious eyes

It breaks my heart, eats me alive

That's how much you mean to me

Oh darling, if only you could see

I've fallen for an angel

Falling, it's scary but I love you

I've fallen for an angel

Wake me if I'm dreaming

'Cause it's like it's too good to be true

I've fallen for an angel like you

I'm scared to death if you'd be mine

Forbidden love, Oh what a crime

But I'll wait 'til the end of time

Taking all that comes my way

Well, it's gonna be a leap of faith

I've fallen for an angel

Crazy, crazy in love with you

I've fallen for an angel

Don't wake me if I'm dreaming

If it's the only way that I'd be with you

I've fallen for and angel like you

I've fallen for an angel

Frightened, frightened I can't have you

I've fallen for an angel

Don't wake me if I'm dreaming

'Cause it's like it's too good to be true

I'd give anything to be with you

Sara smiled at the beautiful greeting to start her day. It still makes her feel special, but it's different now that she's with Nyssa. Nyssa's words affect her infinitely more. It's strange really, she fought her feelings for her for quite some time yet here they are.

It was the day before Sara's birthday and they were celebrating at Nyssa's. They all slept over there the night before to make the most of the day. When Sara woke up, Nyssa was already up and probably downstairs preparing something. Sara went down to join Nyssa and help out. She helped her prepare the food and make a cake. They made cheesecake together. It's both their favorite dessert and Nyssa had attributed it's smell to Sara, so they thought it would be the perfect cake to make.

"Is there anything you can't do?"

Nyssa didn't answer but just gave her a kiss and a smile as a response. There are things that Nyssa would never admit to Sara that she is capable of doing and there are things she is frightened of not being able to do.

Watching Nyssa move around in the kitchen, very efficient there like the way she is when she's fighting. The difference being she's calmer and more peaceful in the kitchen, while she's very intense in her battles. She still has no idea why she trains as much as she does and what do the other people in her home do. Whenever she asked, she seemed to just brush it off.

She had put all those aside. She believed it wasn't that important, that Nyssa would tell her about it in her own time. They weren't in a rush with whatever they are. There is no requirement to disclose everything. They will take their time getting to know each other. And she knew that whatever she finds out about her wouldn't matter, she had already fallen deeply for her. She's scared of course and still wouldn't tell her that, but she has finally accepted that fact to herself. She has fallen in love with Nyssa.

She wants to know where things are going between them, what she means to her, but she's afraid that when she asks her to define whatever they are, things would start to go bad. True that Nyssa had told her countless of times that she has feelings for her, that she deeply cares for her, but those are not necessarily the words she wants to hear. They're nice to hear, but still she wants the one that means more. She hoped that Nyssa would be more like her secret admirer, more expressive with his feelings the way they are, even if they're just in letters. For now. At least that 's what she has led herself to believe. She is very much hoping that she will finally meet this person on or after her birthday. That would be a splendid gift.

Everybody else finally joined them and helped in the preparation while each grabbed their own breakfast. It was just a few of them, her, Nyssa, Max, Rebecca, Nate, and Alec, though she doubted Alec would help.

"Did you invite Laurel and Oliver?" Max asked adding more emphasis on Oliver's name.

"No. I don't want my sister here. And inviting Oliver would mean inviting everybody in town."

"Okay."

"So, who else are coming?" Nate asked curiously.

"No one else. Just us. Can't stand any of those pretentious people." Max supplied in.

"Oh. Okay. I'm glad I'm no longer considered as one of those pretentious people." Nate smiled.

 "Are you sure about that? Maybe we're just trying to plot against you by befriending you."

"Nah. You enjoy my company too much for that."

Everyone laughed. They enjoy ganging up on Nate from time to time as he's the only guy in the group, in exception to Alec of course, since they can't even hold a long conversation with him, let alone crack jokes with him.

"Yeah. Why don't you guys go get things set up for later, so I can finish up here?" Nyssa said when the laughter has subsided.

Sara was about to walk out the kitchen with the others, but Nyssa pulled her by the waist.

"No. You stay here with me."

Nyssa kissed her cheek from behind and held her closer to herself. Sara turned around and wrapped her arms around her as well.

"You okay with this? Just us?"

"Yeah. I'd rather stay in bed cuddled up with you, but this works too. This is all I need right now."

"Okay."

"I'm serious about staying in bed though."

"We have plenty of time for that. Everyone prepared this for you. Enjoy it."

"Okay. Thank you by the way."

"For what?"

"For letting us do this here. And being here with me."

"It's not an actual party, so I'm okay with it. And I'd do anything for you. You know that, right?" Nyssa kissed the tip of her nose. "And I'm right where I'm supposed to be."

Sara teared up and she pressed her head in the crook of Nyssa's neck.

"What?"

She shook her head, looked up and smiled at Nyssa.

"Nothing. It's just that when you say those things..."

Sara wanted to tell her how much she makes her feel loved. She wants to tell her that she loves her, but she wants to be sure. She's scared. She has never felt something so overwhelming. Looking into Nyssa's eyes, she knew there was nothing else she could want more than just to see her looking at her like that. Like she's all the world to her. Like she's all she sees.

Nyssa could see in her eyes all that she wants to say to her. All the longing to hear those words. She wants to tell her she loves her. At least let her know. She doesn't need her to feel the same. It doesn't matter if she loves her back or not. She just needs to let her know. Let her know how much she love her. And that she is everything to her.

"I love you, Sara."

Sara was overwhelmed in shock that she couldn't get a word out. Did she hear her right? Did she just tell her she loves her? She couldn't wrap her brain around it? Is this real?

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know that." She gave her a sweet kiss and smiled. "I love you."

"Okay, love birds. Are you going to join us? Or just coup up upstairs?"

"I told you they'll let us do that." Sara teased making Nyssa's smile wider.

"We'll join you in a minute."

She took Sara's hand in hers and went to join the others for preparation. They were setting up some entertainment system, because Nyssa's place seriously lacked any modern form of entertainment. When they finished setting up, they started with their party. They ate, talked, laughed, sang and danced.

Sara tried to get Nyssa to dance with her, but to no avail.

"I don't want to make a fool of myself." She said.

"Are you saying I'm making a fool of myself?"

"No. You're beautiful and you're great at it. I'm not."

"Thank you. Don't worry, you're also beautiful and I promise not to laugh. Please? For me?"

Nyssa rolled her eyes and gave in to her request. It was never easy for her to refuse any of Sara's requests. She wasn't even actually dancing. She just stood there while Sara danced around her. She loved seeing her like that. Being lost into the music.

Sara loves the way Nyssa looks at her while she dances. Like she's the only one there. And after she told her that she loves her. It meant so much more.

She excused herself to go to the bathroom, and maybe get herself together. It was all so overwhelming for her. Nyssa loves her. And she loves her back. She took the time to look around Nyssa's room. She found their picture from the day they went to the park wedge in between a book she must be reading. The thought of Nyssa thinking of her while reading, imagining her to be in those books, made her smile to herself. She wanted to know more about Nyssa, even through the books she likes to read. She wants to know the woman she's falling deeply inlove with. She reached for another book and something fell from it. What she saw made her freeze where she stood.

Her knees gave out and she had to sit on the floor, still staring at the object. Millions of explanation for millions of questions ran through her mind. She still can't fathom the possibility of those being true. She took it and rushed down to where Nyssa was.

She stood there with her heart pounding so loud she didn't even hear the thumping of the loud music.

"Why do you have this?" She asked raising the CD that was in her hand. It was the CD that she made. The one with the video of her, for her secret admirer.

Nyssa didn't want it to happen like this. She should have kept it in a much better place, but she liked watching it from time to time, except lately when she and Sara were already together. She had forgotten that she kept it there. Easy to be found.

"I said why do you have this."

Everyone else stopped whatever they were doing and looked at them.

"You know why."

"Are you playing with me?" She threw the CD at Nyssa which hit her on the head. It wasn't something that she couldn't dodge, but she let it hit her. A trickle of blood started to flow from the cut, but she didn't mind. She doesn't feel the pain. It's a physical one, which is easy to block. But the emotional one that she is not accustomed of having is way worse.

"You see me reading them, how I react to them, how I feel about them, yet all along it was you?"

She waited for Nyssa to say anything, but nothing.

"You say all those nice beautiful things, but you've been lying to me. You tell me you love me, but it's all... What kind of game were you trying to play?"

Nyssa tried to reach for Sara but she moved away.

"Don't touch me."

"All the things I told you were true. I may have kept things from you but I never lied to you. What we have is real. I do love you."

"Is it really? Do you really love me? I don't even know who you are. You've spun me around with all your words. I don't know what to believe."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too. I have to go. I can't do this. Were you ever planning to tell me?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

Sara rushed off to gather her things upstairs. She reached the room and closed the door. She broke down in tears, feeling all the hurt and confusion. She found Nyssa waiting outside the door, when she got her things together and had calmed down. It broke Nyssa's heart to hear her crying like that and knowing it was because of her.

"I'm really sorry, Sara. How can I make it up to you?"

"I don't know, Nyssa. I honestly don't know. You broke my trust. And my heart."

It was the worst pain Nyssa could ever imagine. Doing the last thing she would ever have wanted to happen.

"At least stay for the party. Everyone did it for you. I'll leave if you want me to."

"I'm in no mood for any of that now."

"Please stay, Sara. Don't go."

Nyssa wanted to hold her. Just hold her. Even if she fights back, she knew she could hold her until she calms down, but she didn't.

Sara ignored her plea and walked past her.

"At least let me get someone to drive you."

"I'll be fine on my own."

Everyone was still in shock to move or even say anything with all the drama that was unfolding in front of them until Sara went past them.

"I'm sorry, guys. I can't stay."

"Max, please make sure she gets home safe." Nyssa said from the top of the stairs.

Sara left without another word with Max trailing behind her.

Out of frustration, Nyssa kept punching the wall until it was cracked and her hand was bleeding. She needed something to buffer the pain she was feeling. She wanted to cry. She has never felt like that before. She never had the need to cry. She knew it wouldn't do her any good. To let it all out, she just kept hitting things.

"I'll clean things up." Nate offered.

"I told you it won't end well." Alec said from behind them. Apparently he was somewhere hidden but has a great view to see everything that was happening.

"Not now, Alec." Rebecca dismissed him and he left. He has made his point anyway.

"What happened? What was all that about?"

"She knows about the letters. She found the CD." Blood was dripping from the cuts on her knuckles, but she didn't care. "And I told her I love her."

"Before or after?"

"Before."

"I see. You have to talk to her. Explain things to her."

"If she'd ever want to talk to me."

Nyssa felt at a loss, and Rebecca could see that. She knew how much Nyssa loves Sara, and could tell how much pain she must be feeling. But there isn't anything she could do about that for now, so she just helped her clean and bandage up her hand.

Sara had felt betrayed. She was about to offer up her heart to someone who has been making a fool out of her. She tells her she loves her, yet she lies to her. She doesn't know what to believe. She can't tell if there was anything real in what she has said to her ever since they've met. Or if everything was planned out from the beginning. It hurt. It hurt a lot knowing how deeply she has fallen in love. Yet, she doesn't really even know her. She knows nothing about her. But she still couldn't shake the feeling that she loves her, yet at the same time, she also hates her so much at the moment.

From: Nyssa

I'm really sorry, Sara. I never intended for you to find out like that. I know I'm the last person you'd want to hear from right now, but please still read my last letter. I put everything there. It was all real, Sara. I really do love you. I will make things right with you. I'm sorry.

Sara wanted to believe her words, but she couldn't wrap her mind around everything. She thought it was all going to be just fine now that they're together. But she's not sure about that now.

To: Nyssa

I don't know if I could ever forgive you. Or trust you. I don't want to hear from you. I don't want to see you. Please just leave me alone.