I didn't sleep at all last night, the anxiety I felt was eating away at me all through the night and forced me to stay awake. I tried to focus on my homework but even that was too hard to do. This tournament has been on my mind all month and it was finally here.

Now it's 7am and I'm putting on my VolleyBall tracksuit. Gathering up my gym bag that held my uniform, gym shoes, knee pad and brace, and deodorant. I slipped a hair bow around my wrist as I walked out of my bedroom door. "Shiko? You home?" I called knocking on her door. Silence answered me as I placed my ear up against the door. I opened the door being greeted by darkness, flipping on the light I saw that her bed was neatly made. I sighed walking out closing the door, it sure would be nice to have someone there for me in the mornings, or at night...hell even at all...

"I'm so tired..." I said into the empty house as I rummaged through the pantry pulling out a can of raviolis and opened it. I grabbed a fork without looking and walked to the door, I slipped on my shoes. I stopped at the picture of my mom and smiled, "Time to Shine Mom." I kissed my hand placing it on the glass and stepped out of my house and began my walk to the school.

As usual I was the last to show up to the buses. "Finally! Let's go! Let's go!" Hinata exclaimed while jumping up and down in place. I groaned holding onto my head feeling a migraine forming on the right side of it. "Hinata-Hinata..it's too early for all... that." I waved my hand around him. "It's 7am and I haven't had any coffee this morning, so I'm not held reliable for whatever comes out of my mouth." I grabbed the fork from my can and took a bite.

"Uh...Y/N?" Tanaka started, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, why?" I asked taking another bite, "Because your hair is a mess, you're eating cold raviolis straight out of the can....with a spoon."

I stopped my utensil at my mouth and looked at it, "Well shit..." It was in fact a spoon the whole time and I just showed my stupidity to the whole team. "Let me live my life." I retorted and continued to eat my so called breakfast. I looked around noticing that Suga and Daichi were missing, "Mom and Dad haven't shown up yet?" I asked chewing. A hand landed on my shoulder making me jump and fumble the almost empty can my hand, "Oops." Suga began laughing as he appeared in front of me, "Sorry didn't mean to scare ya." He lifted his hand and handed me a glass bottle of coffee, "Got you something. Thought you'd might need it." I smiled and took it from him, "Thanks Sugawara." He blushed as he looked down at me before biting his lip putting his hands in his pockets. I gave him a wink as I took a sip making him blush more, "Sugawara! Come help me real quick!" Asahi called.

"Uh yeah! Be right there!" Suga gently held my chin between his thumb and forefinger before swiping my bottom lip and walked to go help Asahi. I tucked my lip into my mouth trying to hide my smile. I liked Sugawara, he's a sweetheart, and caring, sometimes chaotic, and he's really attractive, but somethings holding me back from dating him. I still don't want a boyfriend, at least not until high school is over. Suga doesn't act like we are a couple, he still flirts with other girls around school and me, like he did just now. He hasn't asked me out and for that I'm grateful, Noya hasn't brought up our little make out session but the SIMP group chat stays alive and active, he calls himself the captain of that group chat, whatever the hell that means.

I finished my raviolis and walked to the side of the gym throwing the can away and tucked the now licked clean spoon in my gym bag. "Y/N?" I turned around at the call of my name to see Daichi standing there, a small white paper bag in hand and the same brand of coffee Suga bought me. "Daichi, what's up?" I asked. He handed me the small bag blushing, "I picked up your uh...Birth Control..." I took the bag from his hand with wide eyes, I had forgotten that I needed to pick it up from the drug store, "Even though we don't...uh anymore...doesn't mean you shouldn't take it, ya know?" I opened the bag taking out the little wheel of pills and popped out the first blue one. "I guess.." I put it on my mouth and took a swig of coffee swallowing it. "Thanks Daichi.."

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "No problem." He looked at the coffee in his hand, "Oh! Here. Got this for ya." I smiled softly and took it from him sticking it and my pills in my bag, "Thanks but you didn't have to."

"I know but I wanted to. I always pick up your Birth Control when you need it, and I know that you probably didn't sleep last night so you'll be tired and need coffee." My eyes softened at how sweet Daichi is being. I've tried to keep my distance, telling myself that he has Yui now and doesn't need me by his side all the time. But when he does stuff like this I can't help but want to be near him, hold him close and kiss him. Just like the other day I begged silently with my eyes asking Daichi to kiss me before the others saw us standing here. He gently stroked my cheek with his thumb and shook his head giving me a sad smile, "I wish I could. But-"

"But Yui. I get it." I smacked his hand away from my face, "It's whatever." I sighed side stepping away from him and walked passed him headed back to the bus not letting the tears I wanted to shed free. I heard Daichi groan and curse himself. Taking my phone and headphones out of my bag I handed it to Noya who held his hand out for it, "I'll put it in the back with me and Tanaka."

"Thanks Noya, you're the best." He smiled wide blushing, "You hear that Tanaka!" He yelled getting on the bus, "Y/N said I'm the best! Haha! Loser!"

"What?! Better take that back midget!"

"Midget?! Why I outta-"

Daichi got on the bus pulling Noya back by the collar of his shirt, "Knock it off!" I felt bad for making him upset and taking it out on the team, but whenever Yui is around or gets brought up I just get so mad and irritated I act irrational.

My phone dinged in my hand, I unlocked it and smiled at Kuroo and Bokuto:

They have been my support beams here lately when I didn't want to bother Suga or Daichi with my problems. They will make jokes to make me laugh or give me cheesy pick up lines, but when I need them to be they will be serious. Also they have helped me cope with losing Daichi and what we had. Another ding from my phone and my heart swelled times a thousand, Kai and I began texting as I got on the bus

"Who are you texting? Your boyfriend?" Tsukishima teased loud enough to get Noya and Tanaka riled up.

"What?! Boyfriend?!" Tanaka yelled standing up from his seat. "What's his name?! How tall is he?! I can take him!" Noya said standing up in his seat growling like a dog. I laughed loudly throwing my head back, "No-its my brother. Calm down guys." Both second years blushed in embarrassment and sat back down in their seats. I was going to sit with Suga but Hinata sat with him talking about the hand signals, Asahi sat with Daichi, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi sat together, so I sat in an empty seat in the middle of the bus, I was going to put my feet in the seat next to me until Kageyama sat down and gave me a half ass smile.

"Hope you don't mind being a pillow Kags." I giggled, he shrugged his shoulders, "I don't mind."

"Good because it's a long ride and I will fall asleep." He shrugged again, "I'm not squishy though."

"Aye mamas!" I stood up looking behind me to Noya smiling at me, "Sing for us!"

"Yeah! I wanna hear you sing!" Hinata said ignoring Sugawara who raised an eyebrow and smiled at me too.

"Uh okay?" I stood on one leg resting the other in my seat, "Tanaka give me the beat to Drift Away." He smirked and began the beat against the window.

"~Drink me some bleach boys, and yeet my soul, I wanna get tossed in a fucking hooooole~ it's free real estate~" Everyone on the bus stared laughing, all but Daichi who looked to be lost in his own thoughts as he stared out his window.

"Alright alright. For real this time, ready?" I cleared my throat taking in a deep breath. "Gonna fly~ high~ Spread your wings and leap into the sky
Leave all your worries behind
You can make it, make it come on, You're gonna fly, fly high~ Soar into the distant sky."

Suga stood up looking me in the eyes and sang the next verse, "A little baby bird still new to the world
Bruised and hurt, it glares at the sky
Those other birds flying in low altitude
Just let them laugh away, They'll never get to say that they were right~"

I smiled wide at him and soon everyone on the bus began to sing the song, hyping ourselves up for our first match in the tournament. Even Asahi seemed more relaxed after we all sang, and he was the one we were all worried about.

After things had calmed down I started to feel sleepy, Kags had his arm over the back of my seat scrolling on his phone. I yawned making him look at me, he patted his shoulder with his free hand and went back to his phone. I scooted over and laid my head on his shoulder shoving my hands in my jacket pockets. Before I knew it my eyelids felt heavy, the cologne Kags was wearing was soothing to me, it was the kind Kai used to wear when I was growing up. I snuggled my face closer to his shoulder and sighed deeply. I put my headphones in clicking Random on my music and closed my eyes again drifting off into a short peaceful sleep.

I was being softly shook awake as my headphones were being taken out of my ears, "Y/N? Wake up." My eyes fluttered open and was greeted with a blushing Kageyama, his deep blue eyes slightly wide as he looked down at me, "Oh sorry Kags." I slowly stood up stretching my arms above my head and yawned. Kageyama looked down at my stomach, blushing more and quickly stood up hurrying off of the bus. I stared at the doors of the bus blinking in confusion.

"I think you embarrassed him." Suga chuckled letting me step out in front of him, "I don't see how." I stepped off the bus and Noya handed me my bag, "Thanks for keeping it safe. It's a job that nobody wants to do."

"I'll always protect your stuff mamas." Noya said pointing to his chest with his thumb. I pulled the glass bottle of coffee out of my bag and began to drink it, "Alright me and Daichi will go get things settled inside. The rest of you hang out and don't cause a fuss." Ukai said glaring at Noya and Tanaka.

Kiyoko walked up to me, "Want to walk around for a bit? Calm our nerves?" I nodded my head agreeing with her as we looped our arms together and walked away from the rest of the team.

"So how are things with you and Daichi anyways?"

I sighed hanging my head low, "Shitty as always. Ever since he started dating Yui we hang out less and less. Plus everytime she is around I get so mad I wanna punch her." I took a deep breath and exhaled through my mouth, "I mean I guess she's okay, she hasn't given me a reason not to like her...but-"

"But she's dating the Captain. Is that the only reason you don't like her?"

"I guess...hell I don't know!"

She eyed me and giggled, "What? What's so funny, why you giggling?" I asked stopping and turned to face her, "I just had a thought."

"Care to share?"

"Maybe the reason you don't like her is because...well maybe you're in love with Daichi." I stared at her with wide eyes before busting out laughing at her comment.

"Thats-thats ridiculous!" I held onto my stomach as I laughed harder, "Me?! In love?! With Daichi?!" I kept laughing until I saw the look on Kiyoko's face. "Whaaaat? It's true! I don't do love." I started walking again taking a sip of my coffee. "Not anymore...not after-"

"Oikawa!!" My whole body froze on the spot. My eyes staring right at Oikawa Tooru, my first true love and ex boyfriend. He was talking to some girls from different schools that I didn't know, he was smiling, and he radiated confidence. My hand began to shake and I dropped my glass bottle causing it shatter on the ground. Bile rose in my throat burning it's way up my esophagus.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

I began to gag, clamping a hand over my mouth forcing myself not to throw up, not right here. Not when Oikawa was a mere 30 feet away. I clenched onto my stomach as me and Oikawa made direct eye contact. My eyes widen, my chest caved in and I was going to vomit. I quickly dashed away going back in the direction me and Kiyoko came from. The urge to vomit getting harder and harder to control. I rounded a corner of the building before it was too much to handle I dropped my bag on the ground and I threw up on the side walk. I heaved holding my hair back using my hair tie to put it in a small pony tail. I threw up again putting a hand on the wall and one on my knee for balance.

Why now? Why did I have to see him now right before we play? Does God hate me or something? Was this my punishment for being a horny teenager? For being rebellious against my father and siblings? Anxiety once again racked throughout my body as I began to dry heave, nothing left in my stomach to throw up. My body shook making my knees feel like they were going to give out and I'll face plant in my own vomit. Multiple pairs of shoes hit the concrete around me as people began to run towards me.

"Y/N!"

"Hey you good?!"

Kuroo and Bokuto were the first to reach me each male placing a hand on my back, either patting it, or rubbing it as I dry heaved again. "Y-y-yeah... I'm fi-" I gagged, using my jacket sleeve I held it up to my mouth and wiped the spit and vomit from it. I held up one finger to them, signaling them to give me a minute.

"What happened?!" Sugawara yelled as he stopped running behind me. "I don't know we just got here. Hey Y/N, what's up?" Kuroo asked trying to look at my face, I heard whispering behind me and Suga groan out, "Shit..."

I stood up using my clean sleeve to wipe the tears that were in my eyes, Kiyoko handed me a tissue from her bag so I could clean my face and handed me a bottle of water.

"What's up?" Bokuto asked looking me over in a panic.

"It's because she-"

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

My whole body stiffened and my bottom lip quivered, butterflies filled my stomach as I looked into his brown eyes,

"Oikawa..."