Why does this always happen to me? I'm so tired of myself

Whenever i cared for someone after a few nice chit-chats, they always end up leaving me

I don't know what's wrong with me. Did i do something wrong to deserve such thing? Am i such a bad person that i don't deserve someone's company?

I'm tired of feeling empty and lonely everytime my so called friends stood by my side but end up leaving me anyways

Whenever they need me for advice and mental support, i was always by their side but when i needed someone, no one was there for me

Tons of people told me that i was their comfort zone and they can say anything to me comfortably while i listen to their rants and yet no one was there to be my comfort zone

Everytime i was out in public, they see me as a cheery person. I look like a person filled with peace and ease in their self yet no one knows that i'm slowly crumbling apart

I always show my tough and happy self because i don't wanna look vulnerable. Because of that, no one dared to even ask me if i was okay

No one saw me through my facade. People are so oblivious, they don't even noticed something is clearly wrong with my emotions

I was growing tired to put on a mask everytime i go out in public. I'm tired to face things alone. Have you ever felt like no one cared about you and never appreciated your existence? That's how i feel everytime i meet people

I'm tired of acting all happy, bubbly, cherry and tough when it's clearly the opposite of what i've been feeling

Why do everytime i cared for someone, they always leave without a proper goodbye?

Through the years of me living, only one person actually asked me if i was okay. I was so lost in my emotions that i felt tears running down my cheeks

The question are you okay is one of the most heart whelming question you can ever ask someone for me. I was so thankful to that someone and i appreciate the thought of that someone actually cared for me

After all those judgemental looks, fake smiles, and oblivious people, someone actually asked me if i was okay

But again, what's the point in being all happy about it when people who i care about just happen to leave me like they always do?

I should stop saying this secret confessions to my friend, i'm done being truthful to someone. Besides, before i even realize it

All was fading away...