Tysfm for 142k reads !!!!!!

{edited}

74

May POV

"You're staying, right?" Ellie asks while walking into my room. I take out my earbud and look at the time. They're supposed to be here any minute.

"Probably not, why?" I ask. Her head tilts.

"You don't want to talk to him?" She asks. "Or know his side?"

"He didn't want me, and that's that. It will just be more awkward with me sitting there, no?" I ask.

"I don't think so." Ellie says. She runs her fingers through her hair. "C'mon just stay for dinner. If you feel uncomfortable I'll cover for you leaving."

"Fine." Ellie smiles. I put back in my earbuds and go back to reading my History book.

My nerves start to mess me up and make my stomach upset. I roll my eyes to myself and raise the volume on my phone.

***

I pause my music when I hear chatter being made loudly downstairs. I get up from my chair and look out the window and see an SUV parked in the driveway. Fuck.

I sit on my bed and take out my phone.

Me: keep me busy

Harry: hello

Harry: that's how ppl usually start conversations

Me: I'm out numbered

Harry: wym?

Me: with ppl who like me vs wish I was never born

Harry: staaaaaaaaaaap

Me: it's true

Me: they're here and I don't wanna go downstairs

Harry: :(

Me: :/

Harry: I wish I could help you

Harry: want me to pick you up later?

Me: yea

"May!" I hear a voice call from downstairs.

Me: igtg :/

Harry: if you need me my phone is on

Me: ty

I lock my phone and head downstairs. I pull the sleeves of my hoodie to cover my hands.

I walk to where chatter is and first see my grandmother who just glares past me. Ellie stands beside me. "Did you invite Harry over?"

"No, I thought Mom wouldn't want him over." I would be a lot calmer if he was here though.

"You should've anyways." I just pick at my lower lip and see my cousins walk over to me.

"Hey." Sarah greets with a friendly smile. Her light brown hair is brushed into a pony tail. Her bright blue eyes meet mine, I look away.

"Hey." Ellie replies, I keep quiet. I just smile politely. Soon Sarah's two brothers walk over to us and say hello.

I haven't seen them since last August. Henry and Nick both look different. All three of them have the same shade of blue in their eyes though. it's interesting to look at.

Ellie and them start chatting about college and Henry and I keep quiet since we're still in high school.

Sadie joins us and I pick at my lower lip. I end up excusing myself to the bathroom.

I hate this. I hate my whorish Mom for not keeping her legs shut. I hate my parents for not telling me who my real father is, and I hate this night for not ending quick enough.

I run my hand through my hair stressfully and flush the toilet to seem as if I did something. I turn on the sink and turn it off a few moments later.

I open the door and see my Uncle Nick.

"Oh, sorry."

"It's fine, I'm done anyways." I reply kindly. His eyes briefly meet mine, then before he could say anything I leave.

Me: can you come over?

Harry: u sure?

Me: 1) I literally have no one to talk to

Me: 2) I feel hella awkward

Me: 3) I don't wanna have some awkward conversation with my "uncle"

Me: plus you always said you wanted to meet my extended family

Harry: okay lol

Harry: you know you're still gonna have to talk to him, right?

Me: stfu let me live

Harry: haha I'll be over in 15

Harry: want me to bring anything?

Me: no they don't deserve anything

Harry: you being serious?

Me: will it be wrong if I say yes?

Harry: ...

Me: ciao

I walk to the kitchen to where my Mother is cooking. "I invited Harry." I tell her. She looks over her shoulder.

"I kind of figured." She says. "If he tries to talk to you, listen?" I'm assuming who he is. And he isn't who I want to think about.

"I'm not promising anything." I reply. I leave the kitchen and pick at my nails.

***

I open the door and see Harry behind it. Cake in his hands. "I told you not to bring anything." I let him in.

"Why would I listen to you?" I scoff and see Sadie walk toward us. I excuse myself to put the cake in the fridge.

When I come back I see my grandmother taking to Sadie and Harry.

Oh god help me.

Harry looks at me and smiles.

"So how long have you been dating?" I hear my grandmother ask Harry and Sadie. Go figure.

"Oh, no we're not dating." Sadie says with wide eyes. My grandmother looks over her shoulder and looks at me. My face flushes.

"Uh, my Mother said thank you for the c-cake." I bite my lip. Harry just smiles warmly. "I'll um, leave you guys alone." As I'm about to turn my heel I hear Sadie chime in.

"I said I would help Mom with the chicken anyways. I'll leave the couple alone." She walks away and I run my hand through my hair stressfully.

"Oh, you guys are a thing?" My grandmother asks with a surprised look. I bite down on my jaw.

"Yeah. I'm a lucky guy." Harry replies making my palms become sweaty.

"I bet." She mutters rudely. "If you'll excuse me." She walks over to her husband. I feel like I can breath now.

"That was fun." Harry says making me crack a smile.

"It will just get worse once she's had a few drinks." He chuckles.

"Oh lovely." His arms wrap around me. My head presses against his chest.

"Thanks for coming."

"Always for you." I nudge him and he laughs.

"That's not what I meant." I mutter.

"I know, but it was too tempting." I laugh. "But, you're very welcome." Harry gently pecks my lips.

His eyes leave mine and down the hallway. "Is that him?" I glance to what he's looking at and nod. "He looks nice."

"I don't know him well enough to say if he is or not." I say.

"So which Dad do I have to impress?" I chuckle.

"Neither. You're off the hook with that shit."

"Hm, so I can be a total ass the whole night?"

"If you please." Sarah walks over to us.

"I heard May's boyfriend was here. Hi. I'm Sarah. Her um cousin." Her hand extends out to him.

"Harry. Nice to meet you." She smiles.

"You as well. You're friends with Sadie as well, right?"

"Yep." Harry says.

"That must be fun." He laughs.

"Hm, especially when they complain about each other." I pinch his side and he squirms.

"Anyways, I just want to introduce myself. It was nice meeting you."

"You as well." She walks away. Harry looks to me.

"What?" I ask with a yawn.

"Nothing." He smiles. "She was nice."

"Wanna hit her up now?"

"Ha ha funny."

"It will be a family tradition." I laugh at my own joke. His head shakes.

"You guys have the same eye color."

"Blue runs in the family." His eyes narrow at me.

"You know what I mean." His fingers play with my hair.

"I refuse to believe I look anything like them." I mutter. "Anyways, how's it going with you?" I ask.

"Good." He pauses with a soft smile. "You've gotten your period right?"

"Yeah, last weekish. Why?"

"Just making sure." I can't happen but to laugh.

"I would tell you, Harry." I say. "You're in the clear." He snickers.

***

We sit at the dinning room table around four. Harry's hand rests on my knee and I smile gently. My hand rests over his and our fingers play. This kills time as everyone talks.

I barely eat. I don't feel like eating. And I don't like eating in front of my family. All I need is my mother to tell me I need to cut back on carbs again.

I see my Uncle Nick glance past me and to Harry. Harry notices because he writes something on my hand with the tip of his finger.

He's looking at me?

It took me a while but I got what he was writing.

I write back:

yes.

"May can you pass me the bread?" Ellie asks. I hand her the bread basket and she smiles a thank you.

"So," My Aunt starts. "How long have you guys been dating?" The table falls silent and their attention falls on me.

"Six months." I reply.

Wow, we've been dating for half a year already.

She nods. "Are you guys serious?"

"Serious?" I ask.

"Yeah. Like are you guys exclusive and such."

My fingers fidget under the table. "Y-yeah." I reply.

"That's good." Aunt Carmen says with a gentle smile. She begins to ask Sadie about her boyfriend and whatever.

I lean back in my chair. I look at Harry who looks to me and smiles.

***

I got pressured into cleaning up the dishes. Harry offered to help.

"We'll go to the diner for dessert later?" Harry asks. I look to him.

"Really?" His eyes narrow at me.

"You didn't eat anything tonight, May. I know that you're starving." I laugh.

"Thank you." He leans in and kisses me.

"If I feel nice I'll buy you fries before."

"Stop you'll make me cry." Harry kisses my cheek and I smile.

Footsteps walk into the kitchen and we look. It's my "uncle". "I'll see if there are any dishes left." Harry excuses himself.

I turn back around and put the rest of the plates in the dishwasher.

"I assume you know?" He asks.

"Yeah." I turn on the washer after putting the soap in there. I look at him. His blue eyes burn on me.

"I feel like I owe you an explanation." He leans against the counter.

"You don't." I reply. "I'd ra-rather not hear any excuses."

"I don't know what your mother said to you, May. But our choice was what was best for you."

"Please don't tell me what's best for me. The best choice would've b-been adoption." I say honestly.

"Living here wasn't that bad was it?"

"How much time do you have?" I chuckle. "Is there something you exactly want? Or is this little chat just to assure y-you that you made the right choice?"

"I thought being with your Mother and John would be what was best for you."

"Okay." I say. "What do you want from me now then?" I ask.

"I would like to know you." I bite my lip.

"Now?" I ask.

"In general, yeah."

"We don't have to do this, honestly. The whole reconnect thing, yeah no. You made your choice just to be the Uncle and for me know you as that. Now that I'm 17 you want to know me?" I ask.

"I was selfish when I found out your mother was pregnant. I didn't want my family to be messed up."

"And you don't think it happened to your brother's family? Cause he totally deserved it." I say harshly. "But thanks for saying I would've messed up your family. Next time try condoms or make sure you pull out. Or, how about you don't fuck your brothers wife? I don't know just suggestions." I clean off the counters.

He sighs and runs his hand over his head. "That's not what I meant."

"Uhuh." I say. "Anything else y-you need? This was a lovely chat. It cleared up everything." I say sarcastically.

"It's okay to be mad at me." I forgot he was a fucking therapist.

"I'm not mad at you." I scoff. "I already knew that you didn't w-want me. I know that my Mother never wanted me. I know I ruined both of your lives. But her m-more than yours. What else is there to talk about?" I ask curiously.

"You didn't ruin either of our lives." I chuckle.

"That's an honour." Nick huffs.

"Your--father loves you."

"Did you really just hesitate saying the word father?" I ask. His blue eyes narrow at me. "Anyways, I know he doesn't."

"Yes he does." Nick argues.

"A-are you trying to convince yourself that?" I ask. I wipe my hands with the dish towel. "Because last time I checked h-he hasn't said those words to me, in god knows how long. Probably never."

Nick look away from me and to the sink. "I'm sorry for that then." He speaks. "But, you're right. I don't deserve to know you really. It's odd that now I want too. But, I'm just trying to do right by you. I'm not saying that this will result in us having a relationship or anything. I just want to say that I know what you're like."

"You don't owe me anything, don't worry." I speak. "Plus, you don't have to worry about me. You can worry about your three kids and wife. I don't expect you to do anything for me, and I don't want you too."

"I just had to give it a shot."

"You're more arrogant sounding than your brother." I say. Nick just smiles.

"I like your humour."

"Hm thanks."

"We have that in common."

"I wonder why." I say. Nick just smiles softly.

"You look a lot like your Mother when she was younger."

"Is this the part where you assure me I look like one of you? And I smile? Because I'm not smiling, because I really don't want to look like her. Nor you, no offence."

"None taken." He says. "And it's not a bad thing that you look like her. She's not an ugly women."

"I know, I can tell you think that." I say with a humorous smile. "Thanks for the fake compliment."

"It's not a fake compliment, I'm being genuine. Of course you have my eye color."

"I'm so happy about that. I thought I had my mothers, thanks for the assurance. Anyways, I'm going to uh, go back to the dining room." Nick nods and I walk away.

I let out a deep breath. Harry and Sadie are siting beside one another talking. He's the first to notice I enter. He just nods to the seat beside him. I sit down and let out a sharp breath.

A://N

Hola

Just a heads up this book has about 10???? chapters left. More or less. I've only wrote 3 chapters advanced.

Comment goal: 30????

Tysm for reading

~lauren