lennon || noah

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"when did they even get together to plan this?" lennon wonders as she leans forward, resting her forearms on her knees. she tilts her head to the side and looks out the ovular window at the clear blue sky. from the corner of her eyes, she sees noah watching her. his blue eyes are soft but observant, their sight all too familiar.

"i've stopped trying to keep up with billy does in his free time." noah laughs, feeling his words piece together a circle on the tip of his tongue. he doesn't know how many more colors he'll be able to use without going outside the lines. he's been treading dangerously close to the outline.

lennon looks behind her shoulder, her eyes landing on olivia who is laughing at some joke billy has just said. their voices accompany each other like the bass and treble clefs for eighty-eight black and white keys. "look at them right now. what if they really did this so they could sit next to each other instead?"

"olivia and billy back together? it'd be the biggest plot twist of the twenty-first century."

she drags her tongue lazily along her bottom lip as she turns around in her seat. noah's ocean blue eyes are waiting for her on the other side. they haven't left her face since she sat down. if she looks really closely, she can see all the words he can't bring himself to say swimming around in the golden specks.

her words linger in the air after she says,"i can think of some bigger plot twists."

neither of them know what to say or how to continue the conversation. they're at a dead end and the bomb just sits above them, time on the clock counting down to detonation. it's a death sentence.

before they know it, the pilot and flight attendants are telling the passengers to buckle their seat belts. a soft blanket of chatter covers the plane as the anticipation climbs, breaking the scale. the wheels of the plane roll against the pavement, passengers feeling the vibrations beneath their seat cushions.

lennon sits back in her seat, fastening the seat belt across her lap. next to her, noah kicks his backpack under the seat in front of him and stares out the window, watching the plane glide down the runway. his ears pop as the plane takes off, its wheels leaving the ground. the world below continues to get smaller and smaller, buildings and towns turning into patches of color. he waves goodbye to the blue ocean.

"let's just pretend i didn't say what i said earlier," lennon says, breaking the silence between them. she feels slightly guilty for placing the target on noah's back without a warning.

"no, you were right," he tells her, accepting the truth right in front of his eyes. "we've seen some pretty big plot twists in our own time. our story would've made one hell of a book."

"would readers be hooked though? that's very important."

"that part just depends on the title." after some careful consideration, he asks, "how does secondhand embarrassment sound to you?"

"i don't really like it." lennon purses her lips together, shaking her head in disapproval. "it just sounds like the author just had a hard time coming up with the title. what does secondhand embarrassment even mean?"

"it's means i've thought about how i've reacted to things in the past couple of days. i should've-"

"we don't have to talk about this right, noah," she says, cutting him short. "we both probably didn't get much sleep last night because we had to wake up for this early flight. plus, our internal clocks are probably screwed up because of beach week. maybe we should just let it be."

"did you purposely make a beatles reference?" noah asks with a bashful smile that meets his eyes.

"you remembered. i wouldn't be me without them."

"oh god, what's next? a rendition of jingle bells?"

"is that a challenge i hear?" she laughs, a smile finding its way to her lips to match his. if he looks closely, he can see the color in her eyes brighten by a couple shades. "you know i take christmas really seriously, noah. even more seriously than i take thanksgiving dinner."

"are we forgetting about the part where you're seven months late?"

"or am i just five months early?" she proposes with a shrug. "i guess we'll never know."

when the laughter subsides, they're both left with the sound of their hearts drumming against their ribcage and the soft purr of the plane's engine. for the next twenty minutes, their eyes occasionally lock, but they've both lost all the words in their repertoire. there just aren't enough words in this universe to describe how they're feeling inside.

how can someone tug at your heartstrings every time you look at them but also tear you apart at the seams all at once? how can something feel so right but so wrong at the same time? are there words for that?

they both wish that there were, but there just aren't enough gods in the world to grant everyone's wishes.

"the weather was really nice this morning." lennon feels silly after the statement leaves her lips. how has it come to this? when did words lose all their meaning?

"yeah, it was," noah agrees. "it wasn't scorching hot like the other days, but it's kind of sad how the weather just starts to get nice after we leave."

"maybe bethany beach just doesn't want college students there anymore," she jokes.

"i can see why. we're all pretty horrible." what he really means to say is i've been horrible.

after a long pause, lennon asks, "so, what are your plans for the rest of the summer?" just to continue a conversation that's dying by the second. the air is too thin to hold up their heavy words.

instead of answering her, he says, "this isn't working for me, lennon."

noah scoots forward in his seat and lets out a long sigh. he buries his face in his hands, pushing his golden hair back against his head. "trust me, i've tried. but i can't just let it be, lennon. i can't talk about the weather or what i'm going to be doing for the rest of the summer for the next two hours because i know where this conversation is going."

lennon doesn't know how to respond, so she just looks at him, focusing on how his eyes change color as he speaks. she can barely hear his words over her own rapid heartbeat.

"i'll tell you that i have no plans for the rest of the summer and you'll ask me what i want to do instead. then, i'll say something ridiculous like how i want to surf the biggest waves in california this summer even though i have no idea how to surf."

"what's wrong with that?" she asks, steadying herself by grabbing on the armrest. unlike noah, she has no idea where this conversation is going, and it scares every cell in her body. "everyone can learn how to surf."

"that's not the point, lennon," he tells her, turning to face her completely. a part of him is actually afraid to look in her eyes, the fear that they'll tear down all the walls he's spent the last couple of days trying to build. "the point is i'm not telling you what i want to say."

"then tell me what you want to do for the rest of summer break. i'm listening."

"the truth is i want to spend the rest of the summer getting to know you, but we're not supposed to be talking about what happened between us. i just feel like-"

"noah, please don't."

"you're not letting me say what i need to say, lennon. it's not fair."

"what more is there to say?" she drops her gaze and stares at her shoes, fiddling with the bracelets dangling from her wrist. "i think you made it really clear when you didn't respond to any of my calls and couldn't even bring yourself to say goodbye, noah. so forgive me for not wanting to rehash the past. i'm just not really interested in talking about things we can't change."

"i have a thousand things to say, lennon. i just don't know where to start." he nearly trips over his words as he speaks. "i feel like an idiot watching you put this past you so easily because it's killing me."

"you don't have the right to say that, noah." she stops him before he can say anything more. "how do you know this isn't tearing me apart as well? i waited almost two hours for you, two whole hours of my life i'll never get back."

"i wanted to walk in yesterday, but i couldn't bring myself to open the door," noah tells her, looking down at his hands as if the lines on his palms held all the answers to their problems. the only thing his hands can tell is how nervous he is.

this is the first time lennon's heard this. "you came?"

"it doesn't really matter because i didn't do anything more than just stare at you through the window."

"that sounds a little creepy, noah." there's a small smile resting on her lips now. the weight on her shoulders feels a little lighter. "but i think i can find a way to forgive you."

"i know." he chuckles, his laughter sounding like happiness in the air. "and i don't need forgiveness, lennon. i just need you to hear me out."

"i told you i was listening."

"i should've called you back that night, lennon. i should've just walked into oliver's last night. i should've done a lot of things differently with you."

"i should've known billy wasn't you that night," lennon admits quietly, knowing that she's also to blame for the turn of events. "the way he was acting with me like i was just some one night stand meant to be forgotten had flashing red lights. i didn't listen to what my mind was telling me because i wanted everything to live up to my expectations. you set the bar pretty high, noah."

"not as high as you did."

"you're just saying that."

"i shouldn't have told you my name was billy that first day at oliver's. that would've prevented all of this from spiraling out of control," he realizes. "to this day, i still don't really know why i did it. i guess i just panicked when i saw you sitting there at the counter, lennon."

"why?"

"i've never really been good with girls despite what you think. it's always been billy's thing. i guess i just thought that being someone else, even if it was all in theory, would change things because i wanted to impress you. funny how i ended up scaring you away instead."

"you didn't scare me away, noah." she places her arm on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "you may have bruised my heart a little bit when you told me you didn't like christmas, but it's nothing a little chocolate can't fix."

he smiles, shaking fallen strands of blonde hair out of his eyes by a gentle flick of the head. "i'm so sorry, lennon. i know three words can't fix everything between us, but i just had to let you know."

"don't cut yourself short. it's definitely a start, but a few boxes of chocolate won't hurt," she says. "and i'm sorry i let billy steal our first kiss. most importantly, i'm sorry that i didn't realize it until it was too late. but if it means anything, i'd still pick you over him any day."

"what do you say about putting this all behind us and starting over?" he suggests, a boyish grin sitting on the corner of his pink lips. "i think we could both use a clean slate."

she smiles back at him."i'd love that."

"hi there," noah offers his hand to lennon, "i'm noah lyons. what's your name?"

"hi, noah," lennon feels a spark between them as she places her hand in his. "i'm lennon carter."

in that moment, his heart feels light because nothing's better than a fresh start. "it's very nice to meet you, lennon. would you mind if i ask you this question that's been bothering me?"

"as long as you're not asking me to commit a murder with you."

"don't worry," he tells her, brushing off the subject. "you won't be asked that until the third date. i know how the rules work, lennon."

"then what's your question?"

"would you mind it i called you lemon?"

"what do you think?"

"i think we're going to be great friends, lennon."

"well i think we have a good shot at being more than friends, noah."

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