Brexit's a bit like rugby
And as hard to understand
Stick with me and I'll try to explain
The rules of these two games.

It all begins with the kick off
The ball launched in the air
Cameron launched it forward
And the game began from there.

A rugby ball is egg shaped
You can't tell how it will land.
The only thing that's certain
Is it won't go as you planned.

So the ball's in the air
There's a great melee
The game swings to and fro
It's fiercely fought
While the balls in play
No quarter asked or given.

They scrap for the ball
And force it back
To players on their side.
They scythe through tackles
Force a way through
Or haul opponents down.

It's a furious game
With ebb and flow
And quite a thing to watch
But what drags it down
So spectators moan
Is that boring thing the scrum.

If you don't catch the ball
And forward it spills
They say that you've 'knocked on'.
The next thing you know
The whistle will go.
And it's going to be a scrum.

Now scrums take ages to settle
They always take ages to form.
They matter a lot to the players
But spectators can find them a bore.

Now I'm not saying who
Knocked it forward
I'm not saying who
Fumbled it on
But play's come to a stop
(Though the Leavers are up)
And Brexit has come to a scrum.

The big men have lumbered forward
They're crouched down forming a scrum
But the scrum can't begin
Till the ball is put in
And Theresa's still holding the ball.

The crowd are getting impatient
The referee wants to begin
But they've spotted an earlier infringement
They are calling the video judge in.

So the whole thing's on hold; we're impatient
The free flowing game's at an end.
You may push and shove your opponent,
You can niggle him off the ball
But the game can't begin
Till the ball is put in
And the scrum half still has the ball.

It's scrum down five
On the Remainers' line.
The Leavers have the put in.
But the game can't begin
Till the ball has gone in
And Theresa's still holding the ball.

A/N Britain has voted 'out' but the process can't begin till Article 50 is invoked. Prime Minister Theresa May has said she will start the process in March but there has been a legal challenge re whether she can do so without a debate in Parliament. We're waiting on the judges.