"You're a stuck-up, stupid as a rock, lion with a tiny mane. Who the heck are you, Simba 2.0?"

"Well, you're a Vulpix rip off with ear hair and you look like a girl!"

The two argue back and forth, yelling insults and growling at each other, then turning to circle the other. Rune has an edge- Shin hasn't forgotten the battle, and Rune doesn't intend to let him. His eyes, bright with triumph, stare determinedly down at the lion.

Juliet starts singing, Geyser goes to pick some berries, and Pich just sits and watches the fight.

"Hey, would you like to fight?" say two voices in unison.

Two preschoolers walk up to me hand in hand, smiling ridiculously large smiles that almost look insane. My natural reaction is to walk very slowly backwards then sprint as soon as I'm far enough away, but instead I put on a big, fake smile and say, "Sure! Let's fight." They send out their two Pokemon, a Bunnelby and a Rattata.

Piece of cake, I think to myself, but then I look over at Rune and Shin, still fighting. "Rune, Shin! Go for it!"

The two of them stop locking heads and look my way, only to realize I'm asking them to shut up and fight together.

"Oh, come on!" Rune growls, and Shin ignores him and butts past. "Watch it!"

Shin sticks his tongue out, and says, "Betcha I can beat up the rat faster than you beat the rabbit."

Juliet covers her eyes with her ears and pretends she can't hear them discuss their plans to mutilate her species. Pich comforts her with a wing, but then sees a Scatterbug and hops off to peck it.

"I'm going to rip it's ears off and shove them down your throat!" Shin yells.

"I'm going to strangle you with the ruff around it's neck!" Rune retorts.

"Well I-" Shin's next insult is cut short as roughly seven pounds of rat body slam him. He falls backwards, but then gets up and blasts it with an Ember.

Rune leaps into action, pummeling the Bunnelby. It retaliates with a few ear slaps, but it's no match for the alpha fox, who keeps ripping and tearing until it lays silent. Rune looks up, his face a bit bloody. I look, as any normal person would, completely grossed out and more than a little terrified.

Shin goes for blasting it out with fire instead, with the same end result. Unlike Rune, who leaves the preschooler to cry over the mangled Pokemon, he gloats, standing on the medium-rare rat with an expression of pure glee.

The preschoolers start crying, so I smack my Pokemon in the face and give the girls some of my Potions and a large sack of prize money. They run away, bringing their Pokemon with them.

When they're finally out of earshot, I yell, "What the hell?!"

"Well, Simba needs to learn who the real team leader is here." Rune scoffs.

"Whatcha gonna do, enforce rule 34?" Shin snaps.

Everyone stares at Shin, and Rune coughs up a furball in disgust.

"There's only one way to end this... I must, by myself, pick the new team leader." I scan over the two of them, then feel someone land in my hat. Slowly, I take it off, and Pich snaps to alertness and flutters out of it. "Well, why not Pich?"

Pich looks startled, but gives me the closest thing she can do to a smile with that beak of hers.

Rune steps on Shin's tail and then walks into the grass to sulk. Shin looks after him, hissing, "That smarts..."

Juliet bounces with joy. "Back to grinding! Let's get down to business! To defeat... the Huns... did they send me daugh-ters? When I asked... for sons! You're the saddest bunch I've ever met, and you haaaven't got a clue. MISTER I'LL MAKE A MAN... OUT OF YOU!" She sings, jumping back and forth.

After the third reprise, we're all sitting down, exhausted while Juliet cuts into After Ever After (or at least, that's what she says it is. I honestly have no idea what she's singing).

Rune and Shin are back to fighting, but then they're cut off by the bang of a pan.

"Where'd you get that?" I yelp, and Geyser grins as if I complimented him.

"That doesn't matter. Who wants dinner?"