I meet Bronze by a shiny new restaurant, which is beautiful, upbeat, and chic. It seems like the type of place normal human teenagers would hang out.We may not be normal human teenagers. In fact, we aren't humans and outside of what our current physical forms are, our maturity level is probably somewhere above teenager. Regardless, neither of us can deny they have good baguettes here. They also have a delicious spectrum of brightly-colored macarons. I honestly have no idea why they didn't have these in Johto, but they're delicious.

 Between bites, Bronze and I carry on something of a conversation.

 "You're sure it was her."

  "Definite."

 "She's alive."

 "Yes."

 "Other region or other universe?"

 "No idea, but based on what we know... it might actually be the latter. We were, after all-"

  I take a pause, eating a cherry-red macaron in one bite, "erased from the timeline. My 'mom'. Shauna. The professor. People think that we're really humans. Maybe this is another world where we are, built around our immediate removal from the original world."

 "That makes everything even more confusing." Bronze mutters. "Well, what's the plan of action from here?"

 "We keep doing what we're doing. Find the others. Make it out alive and get some plane tickets. I have a feeling we need to keep going."

 "What's the price for Johto airline tickets?"

 "No one sells anything of the sort. In fact, when I search Johto, this comes up." Bronze shows me pictures of a nightmare version of my home. Smoke pours from empty buildings. Rubbled towns lie alone. The grass is scorched or non existent. Vegetation is nothing but rotted trees and ash.

 A lump rises in my throat, terror, shock and horror combined. "Johto is..."

 "Yeah. Not good. If Ashley really is on the other side, on another journey, I'd assume Johto would still have to exist."

I nod."Right. Anyways, how's the team?" I ask.

"They're good. We've been training for the Coumarine Gym battle. I have a secret weapon." He grins, his eyes alight with the thrill of a battle soon to come. The passion in his eyes is unmistakable. It's reckless. It's combustible. It's waiting to engulf whatever lies ahead in pools of bronze fire.

"Speaking of such, you've kept your whole team in their Pokeballs. Why don't they come out?" I ask him, a bit nervously."

I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Oh. She's still there, isn't she?" I say coldly.

Bronze tosses out a Pokeball.The Absol from earlier is back, this time with a shiny Mega Stone around her neck. Nephthys looks into my eyes and shrinks back, staring at her long, sharp claws with disappointment and regret.It does nothing to calm me. I look away from her and back to Bronze.

"Secret weapon?" I snap.

"She's mastered her powers. I wasn't going to kick her off the team, even if it was awful."

"Madame Lilly, I apologize-" Nephthys starts, but I just laugh.

"Oh yeah. If she's about as good against the gym leader as she was against Gaile, you should be fine."

Bronze leers back. "Like we've never made any mistakes."

"Gaile's death was not a mistake!" I protest.

"Oh yeah? What about Pecker? What about Ferro? What about Dill? What about freaking everyone on that team?"

"I wasn't there for any deaths but my own."

"I know. I was there for all of them. I've seen so many friends die at my own feet and I did nothing for any of them. I was the single shittiest starter Pokemon and if I had been even remotely competent we wouldn't be here. And yet, somehow, when I saw others suffer, when I saw Silver's Pokemon leave bloody and bruised, when I decimated any Pokemon laid out before me, I did it without question and it felt good. We weren't raised to be sympathetic. We were raised to murder each other. For the sake of every legendary up there who pretends to give a shit about what happens to Goldeneyes, just be glad she's sorry."

I get up, placing the remaining macaroons in a bag. "Good luck training for that gym battle." I tell him.

I walk away before he can see the tears in my eyes, the resurfacing memories bubbling up of every broken body before and after the team, all the things I tried to forget because I thought I was better because I was human.

No. The only thing that makes me special, drives me on, is from a part of me I can never reconcile with, and somehow I'm trying to get back to it.

I am and was a monster.

I make my way back to where the team is, eating macaroons at a furious pace as all the flavors blur to the flavor of blood. I spit one out, attracting disturbed looks from a few passersby. Am I losing it? No, I sigh with relief as I realize that the pain is no longer in my heart but in my tongue, which I must have bit somewhere along the line. Looking up, I see a dark green shape with a large pink flower topping it over near some bushes. Chrona. What's she doing over here?

I sneak closer, finding her talking to another, massive Pokemon. A Tyrantrum. She smiles as they talk, and although it's much older, I remember the gravelly tone and bright eyes.

I take a closer look.

"Crypt?" I ask. "Is that really you?"

He flinches.

Chrona pulls her vine whips out, then retracts them as I come into full view. "Guess there's no use hiding it."

"What's this?" I ask.

"Well, I-" She starts.

He interjects, "She and I have been talking ever since I decided to leave the team."

"What? He's been following us? I thought he didn't want to be part of this." I say, now thoroughly confused.They exchange a look.

Chrona sighs. "Lilly, Crypt has nothing against the team. He's just scared of you."

(hot damn this is late forgive my tardiness bc this chapter sucks significantly less than what I've been producing lately)