Happy Reading!💚

VERY LONG UPDATE! Please bear it with me.

Deekshya's POV.

"Baba, Baba? Where are you?" I heard myself calling out for Baba in a different voice somewhat like my younger self while entering into pitch dark room. But no response came. I could feel that I'm not alone in the room, there are a lot of people in it but with absolutely no movement. Only the cold terrifying thick silence can be felt. I moved forward slowly with uncertain steps as fear started crawling up still, I gathered the courage to move.

I again called out," Baba" and this time I felt a pair of arms snaking around my little frame scaring the shit out of me. But the next moment I recognised to whom they belonged and I relaxed in that hold.

"Baba, you scared me", I squealed in the safest place on earth that is his arms and relaxed leaning my back against his big frame.

"Uh oh, I'm sorry sweetie. By the way, Happy Birthday My Princess!", he said in his adorable deep voice, his love dripping from each word he uttered. I laughed a little as he caved in and replied," It's okay Baba! Now that you're here I'm no longer scared. Besides- oh wait- where is my birthday present, Baba? You better give it to me or else I won't talk to you ever", faking my anger when I realised he hadn't gifted me anything, standing in the same position. He laughed at my fuss, replied, "Will it ever happen that I won't bring presents for you that too on your special day, dear? See that corner-" he pointed towards a place while suddenly a white light fell on it and he continued,"- Your presents are waiting for you. Now go, unwrap them!" completed with his cheeky smile as I felt it.

Without turning back and in the excitement of unwrapping the gifts I immediately sprinted off towards that corner where a massive pile of gifts were kept on one another. Those are all for me! Wohouuuu! I exclaimed loudly," Thank you so much, Baba. You're the best. I love you to the moon and back!"

I didn't pay any attention to what Baba cautioned or even for the fact what he said and directly jumped on into the piles of gifts tumbling down the small ones kept on top of the big ones. As I proceeded further, I felt a sticky liquid-like substance in my feet and looked down to see a red thick warm liquid staining my feet whose smell was awful. I scrunched up my nose in confusion and took a close look at it.

Realisation dawned upon me and my hands flew to cover my mouth on their own while I gasped in horror.

It was a pool of BLOOD, warm blood.

I staggered back a little, but my legs somehow gave away, and I landed hard on the fresh warm pool of blood. I began to shake and sweat profusely. I tried to get up and go away from there, even tried to shout for help but I couldn't move and nothing came out of my mouth. It was as if I was gagged and caged, rather chained at the fixed place. I started throwing my limbs so that I could get away from there anyhow but nothing happened. All my efforts were proving futile. In this process, I kicked the large gift box kept there and it flew open on its own leaving me shocked and terrified. All the blood got drained out of my body as I went pale on viewing the cruel sight in front of me.

I screamed," Babaaaaaa!" but he wasn't there.

Because he was lying in front of me inside the box in the same pool of blood that I was in.

No! This can't be true. He was with me just a minute ago, hugging and wishing me. How come... how come he is de... DEAD? NOOOOOO!

Suddenly a mixture of the dark dangerous and dreadful version of Baba's voice along with the most hated voice of that prick echoed, "Hey, Babygirl! Come to me, come. Look I'm here" in the room. I flinched at the sound and immediately turned back to witness that shitty person. The voice and the face, which sent a chill down my spine, which has been a nightmare to me always. It continued," You just thanked me with your sweet honeyed voice, Sugar. Won't you thank me in 'OUR' way?" making me shiver and tears started gushing out of my eyes. How come he is here? Did I thank him? But when? I just thanked Ba... It means it wasn't Baba. That was actually this heartless prick's voice? I couldn't recognise my Baba? How? But it felt like Baba's touch.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything out of shock, tears and disbelief. It was too much to process. Again he continued," Why are you crying now? You yourself killed your father just like you did to your mother at birth. So, why crying now? You killed your father and mother, Sugar! What's this crying for?" and ended with a peal of ugly dangerous laughter.

Did I kill my parents? No! This is not true. This is NOT true! I didn't. I love Baba, how can I kill him? It's absurd, totally baseless.

Then suddenly I heard more voices starting to reverberate in the room which was silent all this while:

" You killed your father"

" You piece of shit, you took away your mother's life"

"She died while giving birth to you, you ate her, wicked witch"

"You now even killed your only parent"

"You witch! Didn't you satisfy your hunger with one life that you took away another as well?"

" You monster kid!"

No! No! No! I haven't killed them. It was not me. No! I'm innocent. Please, believe me. I screamed to every voice but they went on and on. They didn't stop rather they went on hurling abuses at me and the intensity of the noise grew louder. Crueller, uglier and nasty allegations were passed on me. It was like I was called to this room alone just to face this hatred. For the sin, which I haven't committed. The voices grew more and more, and my ears started paining. I tightly shut them with my hands as much as I could but still the cruel, heartless words pierced through my hands into the ears.

I continued screaming," No! It wasn't me" as my legs staggered back. I don't even know when I had stood up. I felt the warm red blood on my plain white dress. It was stuck to my body like a second skin as if screaming at my face," You've killed your mother, then your father, and now even your fiancé, VED!"

"WHAT? I didn't kill him. I haven't killed Ved. He is dead but not because of me. He martyred in the attack" I screamed in agony. The same most dreaded voice spoke again near my ears," Yes Babygirl, you have killed Captain Ved Srivastava. It was your demonic presence in his happy life that has cost him his own life. You're a wicked evil witch. You killed your own parents and your husband-to-be. You're the evilest person ever to walk on this earth, Sugar!" and ended up with a burst of menacing laughter. Then soon other voices accompanied him, they all started screaming more loudly:

"YOU'VE KILLED YOUR MOTHER"

"YOU'VE KILLED YOUR FATHER"

"YOU HAVE KILLED VED, YOUR HUSBAND-TO-BE"

"THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED YOU WITH ALL THEIR HEART HAVE MET THE SAME END"

"YOUR PRESENCE KILLED YOUR PARENTS AND FIANCÉ"

"YOU ATE THEM, DEEKSHYA!"

"YOU'RE AN EVIL WITCH"

"A MURDERER!" "A MURDERER!" "A MURDERER!" "A MURDERER!"

"DEEKSHYA IS A MURDERER!!!!!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I jerked my eyes open and sat up with a start. "No, I'm not a murderer", I screamed as the horrible accusatory noises kept ringing in my ears with intensity increasing by every passing second. I tried to shut them by tightly pressing my hands on my ears... but it didn't help. I started shivering vigorously as all those flashes of my deep-buried past surfaced again making my eyes shut in the hope that the haunted memories will stop coming. But nothing worked. After all, it was all my traitor mind's doing. I tried to not let my demons surface again after so many years and take charge of my mind but it seems I'm failing as I felt the same panic rising again in me as it used to all those years ago. I suddenly started gasping for air as Baba's body in the raw pool of blood and Ved's tricolour wrapped body's images started assaulting my mind. Along with it, that evil menacing voice boomed in my ears," You Bitch! You've killed your mother first, then your father and now VED".

NOOOO! I haven't.

Suddenly, I felt someone tightly snaking their arms around me and grabbing me close into their embrace. I shuddered at first with the sudden contact of a warm body touching my cold one and tried hard to get out of the tight grip but couldn't. The more I try, the tighter the grip gets.

"Deekshu, calm down bachha! It was just a dream. Please, calm down", a sweet breaking voice all of a sudden was heard. Then the familiar motherly fragrance and affection hit my senses, making me aware of who it was.

It's Maa, it's Smita Maa.

As soon as the realisation seeped in, I immediately stopped my struggle and clung to her body to get at least a straw of assurance that I'm not responsible for all of these. She reciprocated, started patting my head gently while whispering sweet nothings. I was in a trance that couldn't even make out what she is saying. But her gentle motherly voice just like the first shower of monsoon, made my haywire thoughts and erratic heart calm down slowly. Slowly, I felt the panic that was fast rising a while ago with all vigour, started seeping back into its shell and even vanished as if it wasn't there at all. My shaking body slowly became steady. I relaxed a bit when I heard her," Deekshu, everything is fine. That was a dream, nothing real. Your Maa is right here. Don't worry. I'm with you, your Papa is with you, Ved is-"and she stopped abruptly as realisation dawned upon her. I couldn't help but broke down finally letting the dam of emotions to flow. I cried and cried and cried while Maa also let herself loose when the grief of losing her firstborn finally consumed her.

Her firstborn and my only best friend is no more.

Two women who loved Ved, their most cherished possession, cried their heart out in each other's embrace, sharing each other's pain.

I don't know how much time passed by in all this but Lalu Kaka broke our long trance," Madam, Sir has summoned you. He is in the study waiting for you".

We reluctantly pulled away and Maa nodded while wiping her tears, " Tell him, I'm coming in a few moments". Lalu Kaka nodded and threw a sympathising half-hearted smile towards me and then went away to do his bidding. The whole Srivastava mansion is affected by this great loss and the staff aren't an exception either. Of course, Ved was the Apple of everyone's eyes.

Before I could wipe my face, Maa cupped it and wiped the tears, said," Deekshu, you're my strong girl. Okay! You've always fought back bravely against society and it's baseless accusations. And I know you can do this. Always remember that you're a blessing, my child and you're not responsible for the unfortunate mishaps. It is always the cruel fate's doing and not your presence in our lives or of the departed souls. Your parents and Ved-" her voice grew heavy at this. Nevertheless, she continued,"- Your parents and Ved were destined to live till the time fixed by the almighty. It was neither you nor your presence. We all are with you, dear and please stay strong sweetie" and completed with a charming smile full of maternal affection through her tear stricken face.

My heart swelled up at her words and I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I just pressed her hands kept on my cheeks with mine and smiled showing my gratitude.

She clasped her left hand with my free hand and said affectionately," Deekshu, freshen up yourself. And remember what I said. Please don't cry anymore, dear. It hurts to see you like this. I know it's difficult but please don't cry. Your Papa is calling, I need to go. If you need anything then call me, Okay?"

I blinked assuringly and she stood up. She kissed my forehead while saying," You're precious Deekshya! And never forget that" and left the room leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Yes! Maa is right. I'm not responsible for all the mishaps. I'm NOT a murderer. I'm much stronger and I can fight back those false societal jabs directed towards me to pull me down. I won't give into them ever. Never!

I'm Deekshya Pattanayak, the strong daughter of Dhananjay Srivastava and Smita Srivastava, the pride of Ved Srivastava and I won't let them down ever.

End of POV.

"You called for me?"

The matriarch of the Srivastava household asked upon entering the study full of legal books and commentaries to see her husband, Srivastava Consultancy owner and now a broken-hearted father, sitting on his plush chair across the room in deep thoughts.

Upon hearing her voice, the otherwise sharp legal luminary and now a shattered man who has lost his firstborn two days ago flinched and hurriedly blinked his eyes to not show his true emotions. But who is he trying to hide from? From the person who knew him inside out, the person who always knows what will be his next move or for that matter his next thought, the person with whom he has already spent precious 31 years, the person whom he loves with all his heart and soul?

She reached the place where he was seated across the room with a slow steady gait and placed her comforting hand on his shoulders as she stood beside facing him. He sighed deeply before asking," She's breaking again, right?"

She felt herself choking with tears at his query and nodded, not knowing how to answer back. A lone tear escaped from the eyes of the old man as he placed his head back on the plush cushioned chair, which felt heavy. And watching her man breaking little by little at the thought of their brave-hearted martyred son and the after-effects of it on their dearest only daughter, she started," You know she's strong. She will get through this. We are with her. Of course, it will be difficult but we, her parents are here. We won't let our daughter break, we will protect her and again rebuild her heart. We are with her" in a tone that is more like a self-assurance rather than a promising tone usually used by her for dispelling any of his doubts. She herself is struggling, and he knows it.

He stated in a gritty voice, once she completed," No Smita! This time it can't be done by us. This will require, chuck it, this demands something more".

"You're thinking about that, isn't it? No way, Dhananjay! It might backfire, this is not a good idea. We might lose our children and this time we can't blame our fate. The blame will be upon us. Moreover, they're not ready yet. We all are grieving, we can't expect them to do as we say", the mother who has just lost her elder son two days back to a deadly attack protested letting her pearls roll down her withering cheeks.

He faced her, reached out and wiped his wife's tears, saying," I know. It might cost us our children. but just see the other side of the coin, dear. The other side has so many plus points, which are tempting me to take the risk. With this step we can ensure that Deekshya stays within us as we can't trust her with any other person, it will be for everyone's betterment even for him, and it might rebuild her broken heart. I can't let my daughter suffer anymore, she has already seen much from childhood. From being accused of her mother's death while giving her birth to being accused of her father's, my best friend Devesh's death which was actually a car accident and now finally she is being accused of our son's sacrifice which has nothing to do with her. I have heard all those whisperings at the funeral and have seen all those accusatory stares directed at her at the prayer meet of Ved. And our child didn't even retort to them, which bothered me a lot at that time and finally I understood the depth of how much she is hurt with all those after witnessing her going through those haunting nightmares and memories once again. She was on the verge of getting a panic attack! Thank God we arrived at the right time and you tended to her or else... Her poor heart has had enough of these baseless and cruel accusations. Now enough is enough! I'll guard the little left pieces of her heart and if it will cost me in the form of her, then I'm ready for the battle" ending with a strange steely determination in his eyes, which even his wife had never witnessed.

He was never so stout-hearted in all these years of their togetherness not even in his professional life. This was Deekshya's father speaking and not Dhananjay Srivastava.

Hearing her husband's words and watching his strong-willed eyes, somehow she felt the courage seeping in her bones. She suddenly felt the same fire of determination as of her husband, to rebuild their heart and bring back the happiness which has left the family along with Ved. She asserted," I'm with you, Dhananjay" with a strange yet comforting sparkle settled in her eyes.

With the assent of his wife and her expression, he felt at a peace, a little bit. He could feel the positivity coursing through him, with her and the other one's approval. He now knows that even if it will take loads of efforts and time but surely one day this decision will bear sweet fruits. This gloomy Srivastava mansion will once again shine with laughter and joy.

He pulled her into a comforting side hug as she shed a few pearls and squeezed her slightly wrinkled hands with his own wrinkled ones, saying," I'm glad you agreed. Now let's go to our daughter first. I know you've handled her pretty well but I need to see her. She needs us, dear". She nodded and wiped her tears, and soon they left the study with determined minds.

Deekshya's POV.

I came out of the shower after 20 mins of a crying session. I felt heavy after Maa left me alone and the moment I entered the washroom to freshen up I couldn't stop my tears from gushing down the cheeks. It was like pain kept on hitting me in huge waves like the sea waves hits the shore washing away something every time. But in my case, it just added more to my grief. But somehow I gathered my courage and managed to freshen up myself.

I started moving towards the mirror when suddenly my gaze fell upon the study table where a large packet is kept. It is my wedding lehenga. At this thought, tears started falling once again on their own. I sat back on the chair clutching the packet with a thud.

Ved! He is no more. My best friend, my confidant, my partner-in-crime, my strength and lastly my fiance' is no more. Its been two days since the attack and a day since his last rites were conducted with all the state honours given to the martyred. The entire Srivastava mansion is in a pool of grief. The merry environment is not there rather there's a stillness that has settled all over the place. After all. the elder son of the family is no more. It was supposed to be the wedding day today and now see destiny's evil turn, we are now mourning for him.

No! It's not that we are not proud of him. Heck, we all are so proud of him. His superiors and the media are all in praises of his bravery in the midst of the attack. They say that because of Captain Ved Srivastava's presence of mind, expertise in combating and bravery a lot of other soldiers lives got saved as he not only alerted the other army trucks behind his truck but also successfully somehow got some of his comrades out of the burning truck. We are so proud of him but his loss is just too much to bear.

Maa, Papa, Anirudh all got devasted with the news, no one was able to bring themselves out of it. They all are shattered to the core but have managed to put up a brave facade for me. They're concerned for me because I fainted the moment I saw the news as my blood pressure came crashing down. I don't remember much about the evening as I was under observation, neither I remember much about what has happened in these two days as I remained on and off, mostly unconscious. But I know they're hell worried for me. What Maa said is totally true, I will try to be strong for them. Maa and Papa have done so much for me and is even doing but here I'm being such trouble. Rather I should be there with them and not vice-versa. I wiped my tears got up from the chair to keep the packet in the closet while making a mental note of sending it back to Anirudh.

When I moved suddenly the lace of the packet got stuck to a large collage photo frame, halting my actions. I raised my eyes at it and a fresh set of tears started flowing down. It was the frame having all the big small moments of Ved and mine together ranging from our childhood to adulthood. And the lace has got stuck with the picture of us on the day of my very own first case's judgement day against a big rival, two years ago. I still remember that day:

I am seated in one of the wooden chairs, my palms sweating profusely and me waiting for Justice Mishra to pronounce the final verdict. I had already rest my case with the closing statement at the previous hearing. Though I know that I have presented every fact, evidence, documents etc correctly in front of the court in every hearing still I'm nervous. As it is my first verdict day. I have attempted my best in arguing and presenting the victim's narrative. I have managed to bring down all the false allegations against my client very tactfully made by the defence counsel. But still, there's this nervousness scaring the shit out of me. Though I have managed to put up a poker confident face to not give away my true state in front of the whole court. Her ladyship has already got seated in her designated seat and is turning the pages of the judgement which is to be readout. Today is the judgement day of the most famous Ashok Yadav case in Karkardooma Court of Delhi and I'm the petitioner counsel.

I turned back a little to witness the excitement and assuring expression of Ved who showed a thumbs up and mouthed," You're gonna win this. I'm damn sure". I inaudibly chuckled at his expression and showed him my already crossed-fingers and he nodded with his usual bright smile.

Her ladyship started grabbing my attention and I turned to her, "This court after checking, hearing and examining all the facts, evidence, witnesses and every other aspect related to the case at hand, has found that the defendant is indeed guilty. This court imposes rigorous imprisonment of 14 years on the defendant and also imposes a fine of INR 50,000 on him. This done under section...", she went on to complete the verdict.

Finally! I won the case, my first ever case! Wohouuuuu! Thank you, God thank you so much! Yes!

It took almost 20 minutes for all the official formalities to get completed and I finally got free. Without wasting my time, I went out of the courtroom in pursuit of Ved who has left without telling me. I searched for him in the corridors for a while but couldn't find him. Probably, he must have left for some urgent work. I went to the common room thinking about this to bring my belongings as there wasn't much to do in the court with the end of the case. I entered the room, a party popper suddenly popped on my head while I heard," CONGRATULATIONS!"

To my surprise, Papa, Maa and of course Ved were there standing with a big bouquet of my fav white tulips and a cake in the middle. Aww! I sprinted off to them and immediately took all of them into a bear hug as much as I could. Maa, Papa patted my head when I bent down to touch their feet after pulling away from the hug and they unanimously said," God bless you, Deekshya. Keep shining like this. And we are super proud of you!"

I smiled and uttered," Thank you!" Then Ved interrupted," Okay now, before Priya starts her waterworks let's just cut the cake. Come, Priya" in a teasing tone. Our parents glared at him to which he replied defensively," Okay don't get worked up, you two. I won't tease her anymore. Priya, cut the cake yaar. I haven't done my breakfast-" and stopped abruptly when he realised that his secret is out in open.

"What? You've not done your breakfast? You're so irresponsible Ved. I wonder how you manage yourself in the cantonment. Chuck it! You made sure that I left home with my stomach full and you yourself forgot. How could you?" I scolded him. This is too much!

" Aare Priya, I was so stressed about the judgement and you that I forgot about it. Also, stress-eating isn't good for one's health. Okay fine, I'm sorry yaar! Please forgive me, at least cut the cake and feed me something. It's already nearing 1" he requested with his trademark cute pout which always melts me down. And this time also it worked.

Maa, Papa chuckled at our childish antics and Maa said smiling," Okay sushhh! Deekshya I had already packed some refreshments for him. It's in the car. I knew that this so-called Captain Srivastava will forget about breakfast that's why brought it with me while coming here. Anyways let's cut the cake".

Ved exclaimed," That's like my Maa! So, Madame Priya, Veuillez Faire Les honneurs. Allez-Vous?" the later part in his yucky french accent while I stick out my tongue to tease him. He scrunched up his nose and said," visage horrible!" testing my patience once again. I retorted," Vous singe".

[Tranlation: 1. Madam Priya please do the honours. Will you? 2. Horrible face 3. You monkey]

Papa laughed at this exchange and said," Deekshu cut the cake or else this hungry man will eat our brains though he always does that". We all had a hearty laugh at Ved's expense while he whined as usual. Then we cut the cake together and I fed Maa, Papa first. They again blessed me.

I then offered a large piece to Ved saying," I hate you duffer!" and tried to push the whole piece into his mouth. But that smarty ass dodged it and smashed a handful of cake into my face leaving me dumbfounded. "I LOVE YOU, PRIYA!" he exclaimed loudly and sprinted away to save himself. I shouted," You!!! Wait, I'll kill you today Captain Ved. You'll have to face my wrath today" and started chasing him. He laughed more and challenged me,' Oh really! Catch me if you can rising attorney Deekshya". He ran here and there at first in the room then went out into the corridors with me chasing him from behind.

The memory of that day will always remain forever etched in my heart. It's like a treasure for me. Ved, my only best friend has given me so much that if I'm to start recalling, then the whole night will pass by easily. He has always been that much-awaited sunlight after dark stormy rainy days. He has always been my confidant and my pillar of strength since the time Baba left this world.

But I always regretted not confessing my true emotions to him. I don't know if he knew or was actually oblivious to my deep buried emotions because he was the first one to know what is going on in my mind or heart sometimes even before me. And neither I have acquired enough courage in me to spit out to him that I never loved him. It was always his brother, Anirudh. I know I cheated him in a way but this is also a fact that I love him too but as a friend. I even do love him now, but not like Anirudh. Even if I, by any chance have spitted out the truth to him then what would have happened? Anirudh holds contempt against me and probably even hates me. And after that, I would have probably lost my only friend and worse, my only family. Besides, this odd belief of mine stopped me, even when Ved proposed me to marry him a year ago:

She entered the completely dark silent room and called out," Ved, where are you?"

No response, the same pin drop silence lingers.

She again asked in a teasing tone," Ved, please! We aren't in the age of playing hide and seek, anymore. Come out! Where are you?" and ended up smiling.

But there was again, no response.

She sighed and opened her mouth to admonish the concerned person, only to feel a huge white light suddenly turning on, behind her.

She immediately turned to witness the biggest shock of her life, well not really. The white fairy lights were arranged in a sentence:

'WILL YOU MARRY ME, DEEKSHYA?'

And below it, a tall well-built man was on his knees head bowed: right hand holding out a ring and left hand holding a vibrant bouquet of red roses.

It was none other than Ved Srivastava, the man who loves her.

She always knew that this thing will definitely happen but this soon, she never expected.

The moment is finally here, the dreaded and already decided moment. She can't run away from this, not anymore. So, she did the best and pre-decided thing with a single word.

"YES"

She uttered slowly but audible enough to him, skillfully masking all her raw emotions buried deep inside her and probably fixing the final nail on their coffin.

She heard him say," This ring, the symbol of my love, encircling your finger Priya, will always remind you that you're surrounded by my love even in the absence of mine" while sliding the said jewellery and using his exclusive endearment of her 'Priya'. She is finally bounded to him and these words uttered by him in pure adoration felt heavy.

Her fate is sealed. She sealed it.

Her love now remains unrequited forever. She did it.

Because she is gonna marry the brother of the man she loves the most, who is also her best friend. Her reason is simple:

Being with a man who loves you unconditionally is much better than being with a man YOU love.

This very belief of mine had always been the reason for all of my actions. I don't know what would have happened if Ved would have been here with us. Probably, by now we have got married but then... urghhh! I don't know. Deekshya, don't go down that lane, my heart cautioned and I accepted.

Those are the sweet and cherished moments of my life now. In fact, all the moments I have spent with Ved are dear to my heart. Even this marriage proposal! I know I'm being a hypocrite now as I was sad at that time but I always knew that he loved me from the very start and it was bound to happen, and as now he is no more this memory has also become dear to me. It's true that when people leave us we cherish every moment spent with them even though we didn't like them happening in the first place.

I still remember the day when Papa brought me into the Srivastava family after my Baba's death on my 10th birthday. Papa and Baba, Devesh Pattanayak, my father were best friends from childhood. They were always there for each other and Papa has supported him in every thick and thin even during my mother's death. My Baba died in a car accident on my birthday and Papa knew all the abuses that were gonna come my way. So, he brought me here at the age of 10 years. I lost my only family, my Baba but got a whole family comprising of lovable parents in form of Maa and Papa, got a best friend like Ved and a jealous enemy in form of Anirudh.

Till now I remember the reaction of both the boys of the house. Ved was so excited to have me in the house that he declared that from that day onwards he will call me Priya, exclusive endearment only to be called by him. Anirudh didn't say much but his jealous and sad state clearly gave away the message that he didn't appreciate my sudden appearance. He was my classmate in school yet he never conversed with me before my arrival here or after it. I still don't know why he still hates me. Huff! I don't want to go there.

After that Ved and I, became best friends in a very short time though he was 2 years elder than me. Anirudh never tried to bond with me but always feigned in front of Ved and our parents. While one brother remained close to me the other brother always remained distant. I cared less for the other one in the initial years because I was already fighting my demons and Ved has become my world after Papa and Maa.

But when puberty came crashing down all of us and the damned hormones came into the play, everything got changed. I started to feel different for Anirudh maybe because he felt like a forbidden star, out of my league. And there Ved has harboured feelings for me. And of course, Anirudh was oblivious to all this, well he is still oblivious.

About Ved, I don't know how, when and why he fell in love with me. We were always together in everything. We were BFFs. There was immense trust, care, adoration, respect, love and everything in between us. But when this friendship changed into pure love from his side, I don't know. And now there's no way of finding it or even no way I could talk to him again let alone try to confess. Yeah, I can confess this to him now in solitude as he won't be there in front of me and probably is listening to me. I know he must have understood by now, but what to do, it hurts so much. It hurts to not have him in person, with me, near me. To feel, to touch, to tease, to get angry upon, to share and to talk. Godddddd!

I MISS YOU VED! I REALLY DO! SORRY, VED!

I broke down not able to gulp down the pain and guilt rising my throat.

"Deekshya"

Suddenly I heard Papa's voice which pulled me out of my down the memory lane trance and I hurriedly wiped my tears as I didn't want him to witness them. I know it would break him more as he loves me more than his own children. He has always said that I'm his blessing from God and the dearest daughter he always longed to father, that I gave him the honour of fathering me. His very words were like this: " Deekshya you made this Kaliyug's common Dhananjay a chance to father a girlchild which even the Dwaparyug's fierce warrior Dhananjay couldn't get even though he wished so badly, it was the only thing I used to relate myself to him apart from sharing one of his illustrious names. Guess after you, I can boast about it while reading the epic". But in reality, I'm the fortunate one to get all of them in my life.

I felt his rough wrinkled yet comforting palms on my left shoulder as I heard him asking," Are you alright, my child?"

At this, I felt a huge wave of pain again hitting me, I instantly turned to my left and clung myself to his frame by snaking my arms tightly around his torso seeking the fatherly affection and solace, I have once lost in my life. I couldn't help my floodgates but let them open and cried heavily by placing my head on his shoulders making his kurta wet in no time. He whispered sweet nothings while raking his hands in my locks to calm me down but then I felt him shedding tears along with me. We remained like that for few moments till the time Maa's horrified voice boomed," Dhananjay stop this now! You're making her breathless again. Look!" breaking my reverie and making me aware of my gasping state. Papa hurriedly withdrew himself while Maa handed a glass of water to me making me sit again on the chair. I immediately gulped down the water while Papa patted my back trying to ease down my nerves.

After a minute or so as I mellowed down, they both sat down on the bed with a disturbed stature. " I'm fine guys! Don't worry, it will take time but I'll get through this. I'm your strong girl", I assured them, with a weak smile, it was the best I could do. Papa sighed," We know, my child. You're strong enough to face this. But remember we are with you always. If you want to lighten up your heart then you can come to us, we are all ears", while Maa nodded at me.

" I know Papa, I'm-" I started only to get interrupted by him," Then why didn't you come to us when you faced those senseless talks? Why didn't you answer back to all those baseless talks at the funeral? You're the Deekshya Pattanayak, a revered attorney of Delhi and Srivastava Consultancy. You know how to tackle them. Then why are you letting them control you and your mind? You're my daughter, you should have given perfect replies to each of them" he asked with annoyance and care dripping from his voice.

I went to him, kneeled and took his withering yet big hands which have always given me comfort into my tiny ones and squeezed them. " I'm sorry Papa. I should have done that. But tell me one thing, was that a place to create such a ruckus? Would it have been right to pick on those false allegations at our Ved's funeral?" I asked him and saw his and Maa's face turning amused when they realised my point. It was there parental instinct speaking not their rationality. Nevertheless, I continued," And even if I would have replied then what? It would have got ugly for sure and I didn't want that to happen. That's why I didn't answer them back. But yeah, I did wrong when I let those accusations took control over me and my senses. And I'm sorry for letting both of you down", and completed with folding my hands.

They both instantly spurred into action by pulling my folded hands while Papa stated," What are you doing Deekshya? It is not your fault. We all are the servants of our mind and it was your subconscious mind who did all this. Okay, forget about it, just know that we are here and you can come to us whenever you want. And try to be strong, my child" with an admonishing tone at first and a soft tone later. Maa clutched one of my hands and squeezed it giving me her assurance.

I couldn't help but take both of them in a bear hug while thanked my stars for giving this unfortunate one such loving parents. They reciprocated and I felt them smiling through their unshed tears.

After a minute, I pulled away taking both of their hands in mine, I said," You both are telling me to stay strong. But what about you? As much as I have lost, you both have as well. You have lost your firstborn as well. Your pain is much more than me and I can't even imagine that. Yet you both are here asking and reprimanding me about my well being, by putting a facade on your pain. You thought I won't see through you, you're heavily mistaken then" while shedding tears and showing my slight disappointment. They're in more pain than me but masking it only for me. And this is making my heart bleed more if at all anything is left there in the hollow space designated for that blood pumping muscular organ in the ribcage.

" No dear, it's not like that" they both retorted at the same time making me chuckle. " Wow now you both have also become expert in lying that too to me", I chuckled dryly again and stated.

Well, it's my hypocrisy, I am actually the one here to lie them all these years with my skilled facade on but here I'm confronting and preaching to them about it when they had done it for the first time. Slow claps for you Deekshya, my mind taunted.

Papa pulled me out of my procrastinating thoughts," Okay, fine, we won't lie. We are heartbroken with Ved's untimely demise yet we are proud that we gave birth to a brave-hearted man. But as much as his absence is pricking our heart, your broken state is shattering it into pieces, Deekshu. As parents, we have lost our one child already and we can't even imagine losing the other two. Anirudh won't show it but he's equally affected but we know he will put himself together again. And this applies to you too, you're strong enough to bounce back but this fearing of losing you grips our heart so much, that we tend to keep a facade in front of you. We're extremely sorry, dear" and completed while Maa also mouthed a sorry as well as shedding tears. Then Maa spoke up," And my child, please don't compare yourself with Ved or Anirudh. You're precious to us as much as they're. You all are ours to love and cherish because you all mean the world to us" while smoothening my locks with her hand.

"Now let's have dinner. It's been two days since we all have eaten at the dining table together. For sure, Ved will be whining at this irresponsible act of ours in his weird French accent. Let's not make him upset. Come on, guys! No more sentimental talks or crying"I exclaimed with all the mirth I could muster at the moment in my voice and it did the magic. They smiled a little at my statement. Guess, Ved's magic will always remain with us forever. I miss you Ved, I really do, my heart silently wept. But I dared not to show it on my face because that will increase the pain of my parents.

Maa exclaimed," Yeah Deekshu, you're right! I'll call for Anirudh, you two also come down after a while, chuck it, you two come along right now. We will set the table together" trying to lighten the situation. " Ohhoo the matriarch of the Sriavstava's is in charge", I and Papa exclaimed at the same time teasing her. " Oh shut up and follow me", she said feigning sternness and we all burst into peals of laughter at our silly act. And soon we all left for the room, together.

But while exiting, I felt someone's presence outside my room in the long corridor. I turned back but there was no one. I felt his presence. He was standing outside my room? Why?

Nah! You're hallucinating Deekshya. Why will he come to your room's threshold? Stop overthinking, your overthinking has always landed you in mess.

End of POV.

The dinner has always been a grand affair in the Srivastava household rather every meal the whole family took together has always been the best parts of the day. Especially when Ved used to arrive for long holidays from his base and Anirudh came down to Delhi from Mumbai, his temporary home. But from now on there will be always a vacant space in both, their dining table and their hearts. The special gatherings and dinners won't happen ever as they used to have.

The long spacious dining area adjoining the open kitchen meant only for family dining won't witness the laughter, bickering, joy, fake glares passed to each other, teasings, even serious important discussions etc anytime soon. Because it was Ved who kept the environment lively along with his Priya and Chote and he is no more.

After setting up the table, Deekshya and the Srivastava couple made themselves comfortable in their respective seats, waiting for Anirudh's arrival. The three sat like usual with Mr Srivastava at the seat meant for the head while his wife seated to his right, then just beside her his dear daughter was seated. All of them reminiscing the previous memorable dinner affairs with Ved being present with them.

Their reverie got broke when they heard the sound of pulling a chair out by none other than the youngest and now the only son of Srivastava's, Anirudh. They all saw him sitting at his usual seat by leaving the seat vacant next to his which was Ved's. There used to be days when both the brothers otherwise thick as thieves became foe at the question of who's gonna sit beside their father's left. This is the only dispute among the brothers in all of their times spent together apart from Anirudh's disaffection of Ved's Priya.

This gesture of his successfully brought tears to the eyes of everyone present and Papa Srivastava reached out a hand to rake his hair in adoration of his dear son. Anirudh gave a half-hearted smile in response.

With a heavy heart, they all started eating their meal in silence not knowing how to converse. It felt as if no one was there from the family as it was just the sound of crockery only reverberated in the room along with a few exchanges of servants serving their masters and some inputs from the lady of the household. The sight clearly gives away the message that the ever happy contented family is mourning the death of their martyred dear son, brother and best friend.

Suddenly, the head of the family broke the ice after completing his food," We, me and your mother wanted to talk with you". Instantly, the matriarch clutched her husband's hands asking if he is sure, using her eyes. To which her husband blinked assuringly conveying he is sure and he is gonna do the necessary, as decided before wiping out the remaining doubt in her head. But that couldn't wipe out the fear and unsettling feeling settled in her bones like it used to do always. After all, it's the heart of a mother who is uncertain about the decision and its after-effects on her children's life. While the wife in her had consented with her husband's steel determined decision.

The other two souls observed this exchange and unconsciously their confused eyes met each other's trying to find out if the other pair has any idea about the exchange happening there. But they found none, it was the same confusion etched in one another's eyes. Probably it's for the first time their eyes are locked with no contempt written in Anirudh's eyes and no deadpan emptiness settled in Deekshya's. She found a slight concern in his eyes for her for the first time in ages after the ugly incident, whereas he for the first time gauzed confusion in her eyes other than the usual stillness. Both got shocked, even masked it easily the next moment but not before catching up on each other's shocked state.

Their reverie got broke when their father cleared his voice like he always does before saying something important. They waited for what he has to say to them after Anirudh stated," Go on Papa, we are all ears" while Deekshya assented with a nod.

" We have decided something for the betterment of the whole family and of course, Deekshya". His parents and her foster parents declared with a mix of certainty and uncertainty reflecting from their stature. It looked as if they are contemplating the consequences of the words they are going to utter.

Their mother, Dr Smita Srivastava held a requesting gaze to both of them, confusing the two souls, and said," We expect that you both will understand from where we are coming and also act accordingly though we hope for a positive response".

Without beating around the bush like his wife, their father, Mr Dhananjay Srivastava, stated with an authoritative yet soft voice," We want you both to get married" and stopped for a while to gauge his both child's reactions but couldn't as they have kept a neutral face. Dismissing his mind's urge of thinking once again, he continued," to each other. We want you both, Anirudh and Deekshya, to get married to each other. Everyone's betterment can only be ensured by this".

"Okay Papa, I'm ready" a firm voice boomed after few seconds of unnerving deadpan silence.

8611 Words! Pheww!

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The longest chapter is here. It's because of the flashbacks and dream of Deekshya. Pardon me, if you got bored with it.

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~Signing off: Akankshya~

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