"And I know everything about you, I don't wanna live without you. I'm only up when you're not down. Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground."
~Taylor Swift, 'I'm Only Me When I'm With You'

~~~

*Ryland's POV*

The cool morning air nips at my cheeks; my eyes closed as I listen to the singing of the birds. I had gotten out of bed before Landon to come and sit next to the stream behind the cabin.

It's been several days since we mated, which means we only have two days before heading back home. I've tried reaching out to River several times, but he's been too weak to speak. My heart aches, longing to talk to my wolf again. Now that I know he's not feral anymore, it hurts even more that we still aren't communicating. I desperately want to know what's going on inside his mind, but he's blocking me out.

'River?' I try again, keeping my hopes low. 'You probably have a lot of questions, and you're probably really confused and hurt, but... I'm here. I'm here to talk and answer any of your questions.'

When I'm met with silence again, tears fill my eyes.

'I miss you,' I say, wiping my face. 'Goddess, these past five years without you have been hell.'

'Ryland...' River's soft voice floats into my mind, and I nearly fall into the stream out of shock.

'River?! Holy shit, you're actually talking! Oh my goddess, I can't believe this! How are you feeling? Why didn't you sp—"

'Ryland,' he repeats, his voice a little hoarse. 'What did you mean?'

I pause my rambling. 'About which part?'

'You said these past five years have been hell without me,' River says slowly. 'What did you mean by that?'

I suck in a sharp breath. He doesn't know. River doesn't realize he's been feral for five years.

'What's the last thing you remember?' I carefully ask slowly.

'I remember... an Alpha coming to visit our pack,' River recalls, and my stomach sinks like a rock.

'What else?' I prod, trying not to let my worry show.

'We met the Alpha, right? Yeah... yeah! I remember him, he was gorgeous,' River sighs dreamily, his excitement only making my heart hurt more. 'Wait... our mate. He's our mate. Oh my goddess, Ryland! The Alpha is our mate!'

'Keep going,' I instruct, pushing him towards what happened next. River falls silent, making my panic skyrocket. 'River?'

'He...' his voice is shaky, and tears fill my eyes as I feel his pain. 'He rejected us. Oh goddess, Ryland, we were rejected? Why? Why would he do that to us, without even giving us a chance?'

'I never found out,' I tell him truthfully. 'That was the last time I saw him. River, what happened next? Do you remember anything after that?'

River's quiet for a minute before answering. 'Pain. Everything hurt, and there was a blinding light. It only lasted for a second, and then... nothing. I felt like I was stuck in a cold, dark crate for a while. Not able to move or speak. Unable to talk to you, or even hear my own thoughts. It was as if... as if I had stopped existing.'

I choke back a sob as my heart splinters. River's pain reaches my heart, suffocating my soul. I hear his soft cries echoing in my mind as he recalls that painful time.

'You said...' River sniffles. 'You said it's been five years. I don't understand. That's impossible.'

'It's true,' I tell him sadly. 'That day was five years ago. I haven't been able to communicate with you since then.'

'What happened to me?' He whispers.

'The rejection came at a cost,' I begin. 'I went unconscious, and when I came to, Alpha Thomas and Luna Charlotte told me that you had gone feral.'

River inhales sharply. 'Feral? All because our mate decided to reject us?'

'Yeah, I'm still not sure why we were punished so severely. Roman didn't even give us a chance.'

'Roman,' River echos. 'What happened to him?'

I shake my head. 'I don't know. He disappeared, and I haven't been able to find out anything about him.'

'I'm still lost,' River backtracks. 'If we went feral, how are we okay now?'

Before I can answer him, the scent of lavender and pine reaches me, instantly relaxing my tense muscles. River perks up curiously, also sensing the connection to our mates.

"There you are," Landon brushes my hair away from my forehead as he sits down next to me. "I was wondering where you slipped off to. Are you okay? I woke up sensing that you were sad."

I smile, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "I'm okay now."

'Ryland, what the fuck?' River hisses, reminding me of when he was my sassy best friend.

'You asked how we're okay now,' I mentally respond. 'You're about to meet him.'

"This is Landon, and his wolf Leo," I speak aloud, making Landon furrow his brows in confusion.

"Uhh... this is Ryland?" Landon attempts, and I laugh.

"I'm talking to River," I tap my finger against the side of my head, and his face instantly lights up.

"You are?! That's great! What's he saying? Wait, first of all, how's he feeling? Is he okay?"

"Slow down," I giggle, brushing his cheek with my knuckles. "River, these are our mates."

'Our... what?'

"What's he saying?" Landon whispers. I consider allowing him into my mind to hear what River is saying, but I think River needs some more time to process this before I throw him to the wolves... literally. I wave Landon off and stay focused on River.

I dive into explaining how our bond with Roman was broken at the same time Landon and Leo's bond was broken with their mate. River quietly processes what I'm telling him as I try to clearly explain how our bonds latched onto each other, and that Landon and Leo are now our mates. When I get to the part about how he's no longer feral because Landon and I mated, he leaps in my mind.

'You had SEX?!' River exclaims, making me wince from the sheer volume of his screech.

'It wasn't my first time,' I say nonchalantly, and River gasps.

'Whore.'

I shrug.

'So... Landon is your mate, and Leo is mine?' River clarifies. 'Does Leo know? That I was feral?'

'He does,' I inform him, quickly following it up with, 'But he's not bothered by it. What I mean is, he still wants you to be his mate.'

'He wants me?' River whispers, a hint of excitement mixed with disbelief in his tone. 'My mate wants me?'

I blink away the sudden tears that spring to my eyes and clear my throat. 'Yes, he does. Leo's been looking forward to meeting you for a while now, but he understands that you might need some time—'

'I want to meet him.'

I freeze. 'Are you sure? If you need more time to process—'

'No,' River decides. 'I don't want time. Apparently, I have five years worth of lost time, and I'm not losing any more. I want to meet him now.'

Landon reads the worried expression on my face, and he reaches over to hold my hand. "What's going on?"

"River wants to meet Leo," I murmur. Landon's eyes flash bright blue, and I can sense Leo going wild. Standing to my feet, I take a breath to calm my nerves.

"I haven't shifted in five years," I say out loud so everyone can hear. "This is going to hurt like a bitch."

Striping my clothes, I fold them neatly and set them on the ground. I put a bit of distance between me and Landon, not wanting to accidentally hurt him during what I'm sure will be a rough shift.

Closing my eyes, I allow River to come forward and trigger the shift. The first of my bones begin to snap, and I scream in agony. My leg twists, and I fall to the ground. Landon steps towards me, but I hold a hand up to stop him.

"Don't!" I shout, my voice two-toned as it combines with River's deeper one. Landon freezes in his spot, watching me with pain-filled eyes over not being able to help me.

Every bone has to break and reshape into the form of my wolf. Before River went feral, I shifted enough to the point where the pain was hardly noticeable. But after five years, I can feel the sharp pain of each individual bone snapping, and it's pure agony.

My fingers dig into the soil, trying to find anything to hold onto. My fingernails stretch into claws as the fingers snap and reform into large paws. I can feel the hair sprouting over my body; the white fur making an appearance for the first time in years.

Right when the pain feels like it's going to overtake me, River pushes his way into the driver's seat as I fall back in exhaustion.

~~~

I feel bad that I keep making Ryland cry so much, my poor baby

Thoughts??

I'm so looking forward to the next chapter!

Q: what would your wolf's name be? (Remember, it has to start with the first letter of your name)
[Mine would be Nico]

See you soon!
-Gumbie