"I'm helpless! He's mine, that boy is mine! Look into your eyes and the sky's the limit, I'm helpless! Helpless! Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em."
~Hamilton, 'Helpless'

~~~

*Ryland's POV*

I wake up with a pounding headache; a cruel symptom of the severe hangover that's beginning to set in. Bits and pieces of the party last night start circling through my mind, and I groan from embarrassment. I can't believe I danced like that in public! And if that wasn't bad enough, I also stripped completely naked — again, in public! — and went skinny dipping with Landon.

Speaking of my mate, Landon is currently sprawled out next to me, snoring lightly from his deep slumber. After he brought me back to my room, he promptly passed out from exhaustion. I can't blame him, either. From what I can recall, I was quite the handful while drunk.

| LAST NIGHT |

Once Landon and I finished getting dressed after skinny dipping, he held my hand as we headed back to the party to look for Lia and Lucca.

"Lia! Lucca! Let's go!" Landon shouted to the pair of drunkards.

They were engaged in a drinking contest against a group of vampires, and they were severely losing. Although, it wasn't really a fair contest, considering vampires naturally have a higher tolerance for alcohol.

"I wanna play too!" I exclaimed, trying to run over to them. Strong arms wrapped around my waist, keeping me in place as I ran without moving.

"You've had enough to drink," Landon told me as he held me back. "Goddess give me strength to take care of three drunk wolves tonight."

With much difficulty, Landon was finally successful in prying Lia and Lucca away from their drinking games. He corralled us towards the car, much like a mother trying to gather up her rambunctious children.

The three of us piled in the back seat, leaning against each other as we fought off our dizziness. Landon grumbled something under his breath as he climbed into the driver's seat, navigating out of the woods and taking us home.

"Lucca, you better not vomit in my car," Landon warned his roommate, who was turning an unhealthy shade of green.

"I think I drank too much," Lucca mumbled, his words slurring together as he slumped against Lia. Lia grunted, trying to push Lucca away from her.

"Lia, play nice," Landon scolded her, making Lia scowl.

"Don't act like you're my mom."

"Don't act like a child."

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to call you by your full name."

Landon immediately snapped his mouth shut, which piqued my curiosity.

"I don't know your full name," I commented, suddenly feeling very sad that my mate never told me his full name. My bottom lip began to quiver as tears filled my eyes. "W-why don't you want m-me to know your full n-name?"

"Baby, please don't cry," Landon begged with a groan, glancing back towards me. "It makes me sad to see you cry."

"I'll tell you his full name!" Lia chimed in.

"Lia—"

"My full name is Ophelia Ashley Grey," she said, and I frowned.

"What does that have to do with Landon's full name?" I asked her.

She grinned wickedly. "We have the same middle name."

The cogs in my brain worked slowly, fighting against the intoxication. Finally, the meaning of Lia's revelation clicked, and my eyes widened.

"Landon Ashley Grey!" I practically screeched.

"Fuck!" Lucca groaned, covering his ears. "Put a muzzle on it, Fido, my head fucking hurts."

"Sorry," I whispered dramatically. "Babe, your name is so cute!"

"My parents thought it would be fun or whatever to give me and Lia the same middle name since we're twins," Landon explained with a grimace. "My mom said Ashley is unisex and would fit us both."

"It's cute!" I cooed, leaning forward in my seat.

"Whatever," he grumbled. "Hey, sit in your seat properly. If we get into an accident, you'll get hurt if you're sitting like that."

"Then don't get into an accident," I grinned cheekily, making Landon glare at me.

He dropped Lucca and Lia off at his house. Since Lia drove over to their house before we all met up and drove to the party together, her car was still at their house. Being too drunk to drive, Lia agreed to crash in Landon's room for the night.

| PRESENT DAY |

After we had dropped Lucca and Lia off, the rest of the night is pretty blurry. I don't remember exactly how Landon got me upstairs to my room, but I think he was constantly having to pry my hands away, since I was persistently trying to take off our clothes.

I'll need to remember to make it up to him later.

Turning onto my side, I smile softly at the view in front of me. Landon's golden hair curls softly, flopping haphazardly across his forehead after his night of sleep. I notice that his long lashes curl ever so slightly at the ends, and I'm not sure how I've never noticed that before. My smile widens at the fact that I'm still discovering new things about him, even after being together nearly every day for four months.

Wow, four months. Time really does fly by when you're spending every second of it thinking about the one you love.

I sit up with a jolt, my heart suddenly pounding so hard that I'm surprised Landon doesn't wake up from the sheer volume of it.

I'm in love with Landon Grey.

Holy shit.

Wait, why am I feeling so surprised? It's not like these feelings were sudden. When we first met, there was an immediate attraction that went beyond our mate bond. After getting to know him, I started liking him more and more. But, love... I've never loved someone before. Not like this. It's somehow both scary and exhilarating at the same time.

Holy fuckballs, I love him!

Suddenly, my nerves are skyrocketing being next to him. Scrambling out of bed, I try to stay quiet as I sneak out of my room to get some air. Should I tell him? It's not too soon to tell him, right? I mean, we're mates. Relationships are different between mates. These strong emotions are natural and expected.

Fuck, not even logic can calm the pounding of my heart. I'm completely helpless, and completely in love with Landon Grey.

Deciding to go for a quick run to help myself calm down before Landon wakes up, I head down the stairs to the living room. I freeze at the bottom of the steps, seeing Kai sitting on the couch with a couple of unexpected visitors.

"Ronnie? Lyn? What are you guys doing here?" I ask the pair, slightly embarrassed that I'm still in my pajamas.

"We need to talk," Ronnie says dryly, folding her arms over her chest. I glance over at Kai, who smiles guilty.

I narrow my eyes at my younger brother. "What did you do?"

Before Kai can respond, Lyn jumps in. "He said you haven't mated with Landon yet. Is that true?"

"I, uh..." I stammer, cheeks turning pink. "That's personal."

"Like hell it is!" Ronnie growls. "Kai told us what Elder Joan told you. That you would become completely feral if you don't mate with Landon."

I glare at Kai, seething with annoyance. "I confided in you because I thought I could trust you."

"You can trust me!" Kai insists, his puppy eyes becoming sad. "I'm just worried about you. I didn't know what else to do."

"You don't need to worry about me," I snap, making him flinch. "I can take care of myself."

"Ry—"

"Why are you guys trying to interfere with my relationship? When we decide we're ready, we'll take the next step. Not because my friends decided it's time."

"That's not—"

"Besides, I feel fine! It's not like I'm going to become feral today, or even tomorrow, so you don't have to worry about it. If something was wrong, I would know."

Ronnie grips my chin, silencing my ranting. "Ryland, your eyes are glowing red right now. Did you know that?"

"What?" I blink in confusion. My eyes are red? Normally, my eyes burn when they turn red, but they're not right now. I don't even feel River trying to break free.

Sighing, Ronnie tugs me into the bathroom as Lyn and Kai follow behind. She flicks the light on, and I gasp upon seeing my reflection in the mirror.

Holy goddess.

My eyes are glowing bright red, like they do whenever River is thrashing in my mind in an attempt to break free. Only... I feel fine. In fact, I can barely sense River—

"River," I gasp, covering my mouth with my hand. "I can't feel him. Why can't I feel him?"

Lyn grabs my hands, gazing at me with a calming expression that only a Luna could possess. "I can't say for sure, but River's feral subconscious might be trying to merge with yours. We need to get you calmed down so you can focus on finding him again."

Nodding my head, I suck in a shaky breath; inhaling and exhaling deeply. I close my eyes, disconnecting myself from my surroundings as I attempt to dive into my mind. I poke around, trying to get a feel for River. It takes a while, but I finally find him in curled deep in my mind. I manage to pull him out, relief flooding me when my connection to him is restored.

When I open my eyes, I release a breath of relief when I see that my eyes have returned to their normal dark coloring.

"Thank goddess," Lyn murmurs, hugging herself tightly. "Ry, this is getting risky. You and Landon need to mate soon."

"I can't," my voice cracks slightly, making all three of them look at me with concern. "Landon's not ready."

"Dammit, Ryland!" Ronnie throws her arms up in frustration. "You're going feral! Do you understand that? You. Not just River. You. If Landon cares about you, he'll do this to save you."

"I don't want it to happen like that!" I cry, tears of anger making my eyes sting. "When we mate, I want it to be because we want each other. Not because we have to. Why can't you guys respect that?"

"We understand where you're coming from," Lyn says in a gentle tone that juxtaposes Ronnie's frustrated one. "If things were different, then I would agree that waiting is the best thing for you. But your situation is different. It sucks, I know, but it's not going to change just because you ignore the reality of it. You need to mate, or you will go feral."

Shaking my head, I push past them and head back out to the living room. My steps come to a halt when I see Landon standing in the middle of the room, eyes wide as he stares at me.

~~~

Cliffhanger, hehe

Do you think Landon overheard their conversation? How's he going to react?

BTW - Landon's full name is a reference to "Forbidden Fruit" by Talexbabe , where there's a character named Ashley Landon. I told the author I would get her back by making Landon's middle name Ashley, so here we are 💅🏼

Thoughts??

Q: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
[either South Korea or Thailand]

See you next time, Gumballs!
-Gumbie