^ Picture of Landon

"Teach me to be more adaptive. Green finch and linnet bird, nightingale, blackbird, teach me how to sing. If I cannot fly, let me sing."
~Sweeney Todd, 'Green Finch and Linnet Bird'

~~~

*Landon's POV*

It's been three weeks now since I've met my honeybee. Whether it's me going over to his house, or Ryland coming to see me at work, we've made an effort to see each other every day. A surprisingly easy task, it turns out, since Leo has been encouraging me to relax and let him in.

We mostly just talk, call each other dumb names, and play video games. But no matter what we do, we always seem to laugh for hours.

I've found it extremely addicting to make him laugh. Knowing that I'm the cause of that melodic sound of pure joy gives me a thrill, and fuck, I can't get enough of it.

When I'm at work, I find myself looking towards the front door constantly, just waiting for the appearance of those dark honey eyes.

Over time, I've found that I'm no longer just being adaptive of my situation, but that I'm growing to accept it. The butterflies in my stomach whenever Ryland is around is indicative that I'm starting to have... real feelings for him.

But it hasn't been perfect.

Every so often, guilt still stabs me in the stomach like a red hot blade. Leo reminds me that I'm not cheating on Easton by spending time with Ryland, since it's been five years since Easton died.

It's not like I want to spend the rest of my life alone. Especially with Leo constantly reminding me of what a great life we could have with our mate.

Speaking of Leo, he's growing increasingly restless when it comes to River. Every time I've tried to approach the subject with Ryland, he manages to switch topics before I can even blink. I'm dying to know why he's being so secretive, but I also know that I'm being hypocritical since I have my own secrets I haven't shared.

Ryland has invited me over for a movie night tonight, so maybe this will be the perfect opportunity for us to actually talk things over.

The guards at the pack gates let me through without any issue. The Alpha of the Crescent Sun Pack was kind enough to put me on a special list that gives me clearance to visit whenever I please.

I knock on the front door and wait less than three seconds for the door to swing open. Ryland's smiling face greets me, and Leo purrs.

"Landon," my name sounds like melted caramel dripping off of his tongue. "Come on in."

I return his smile, feeling my heart pounding in my chest as his scent invades me. Stepping forward, I pull him close to my chest in a tight hug. I bury my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent of honey and vanilla.

We've grown more comfortable with hugging each other recently. His touch provides a comfort that I haven't known in a very long time, and I absolutely crave it.

"Mhmm," Ryland hums contentedly as he breathes in my own scent, and his body melts against mine.

Extremely reluctantly, I pull away from him. "Where are we watching the movie?"

"Is my room okay?" Ryland asks, pointing up the stairs. "Kai is playing some video game with his friends online and he insists that he gets to use the big TV in the living room."

I chuckle, remembering Xander had mentioned that to me. "Sounds good. Lead the way."

I follow Ryland upstairs to his room that reflects every bit of sunshine within the wolf himself. His pale yellow comforter brightens up the room, especially with how the light bounces onto the poster-covered walls. Some of the posters I recognize, such as his Les Miserables one. But some I haven't heard of, like this one with a picture of a kid with a broken arm. I haven't seen that musical, but Ryland is obsessed with it.

When Ryland found out that I haven't seen too many musicals, he freaked out as if I committed some cardinal sin. He declared that he'll get me to love musicals as much as he does, although I doubt that very much.

"What have you chosen for us to watch tonight?" I ask as I sit on Ryland's bed. There's already a bowl of popcorn waiting for us on his bed. Ryland shuffles through his collection of movies before pulling out a DVD and showing me the box with a smile.

"Have you ever heard of Sweeney Todd?" Ryland questions as he pops the disc into the DVD player.

"Actually, I think I have," I reply, making him raise an eyebrow in surprise. "It's about a barber who kills and eats people, right?"

Ryland laughs, grabbing the remote and joining me on the bed. "Close, but not quite."

He shifts until he's on his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows to watch the movie. I grin at his adorable position before deciding to mimic him. We lay side by side, the bowl of popcorn in front of us.

The movie plays, and I'm instantly amused by how dark is seems. True, while I already knew this musical would involve murder, I still expected it to somehow be lighthearted and fun. The only musicals I've really seen are the Disney ones, so you can't blame me if my expectations are skewed.

As the movie progresses, I'm drawn in by the underlying themes. Lying. Mischief. Deceit.

It serves as an unsettling reminder that I haven't been honest with Ryland about my past.

'You need to tell him,' Leo nudges me. 'You can't expect him to be honest with you, if you aren't honest with him.'

'I know, I know,' I mentally respond.

I turn my head to the striking man at my side, who's adorably singing along with all the songs quietly.

"By the sea... we'll grow old together..." he softly sings, bobbing his head lightly to the tune.

"Hey, Ry?"

"Shh," Ryland shoves a handful of popcorn in my face. "Don't talk during the song. It's rude."

I roll my eyes, munching on the popcorn as I wait for the song to finish. As soon as it's done, Ryland finally turns to me.

"Now," he starts. "What's so important that you had to interrupt the musical number?"

"I want to talk to you about my mate... my previous mate," I correct myself. Ryland's jaw falls open as his cheeks flush.

"Uh, I- yeah, that's pretty important," he stammers, quickly pausing the movie. "Go ahead."

I take a deep breath, trying to calm the nerves swarming in my stomach. "My mate's name was Easton, and he... he was my whole world. We were together for two years—"

"Wait, I'm sorry," Ryland interrupts, shaking his head in confusion. "His name was Easton?" I nod my head slowly. "Easton Butler?"

Shock hits me as I stare blankly at Ryland. "You've... heard of him? Did Roselyn talk to you?"

Ryland furrows his brows. "Lyn? No. I haven't seen her since the coronation. But I did hear about Easton there while I was viewing the Hall of Alphas. We came across Easton's photo, and Ronnie told me about what happened to him." His face suddenly pales, as if the realization just now dawned on him. "Oh my goddess. You're him. You were his mate."

Heat rises to my cheeks as I release a shaky breath. "It looks like I didn't have a chance of being the first one to tell you after all."

I pull myself up, standing from the bed as I turn my back to Ryland. He knows. He already knows about Easton, about what happened to him.

"Landon..."

I close my eyes and wait.
Wait for the endless questions.
Wait for the eventual pointing of fingers at the wolf who wasn't enough for his mate to not take his own life.
Wait for Ryland to decide that he doesn't want to be mated to someone with a stained past.

Arms circle around my stomach, taking me by surprise. Ryland rests his head against my back as he embraces me.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," he whispers softly, and something inside of me breaks.

Tears slip down, and I place my hands over Ryland's arms. When my shoulders begin to shake from the sobs wracking my body, Ryland turns me around and wraps his arms around my neck. I bury my face into his shoulder, releasing the years of hurt and anger I've been carrying.

"It's okay, let it out," Ryland murmurs as he pets the back of my head. "You can share your burden with me."

And I do.

I cling tightly to Ryland as I cry harder than I have in years. The last time I truly broke down... was probably the night Easton died.

I didn't have anyone else — not even Leo — to grieve with.

No one to stroke my hair and whisper in my ear as I cried for hours. No one to tell me everything was going to be alright, when I felt like my world was falling apart.

I couldn't go to my family, since I knew it hurt them to see me so broken. I couldn't turn to Leo, since he had vanished.

I had no one.

Until now.

Sniffling, I pull back and look at Ryland. His honey eyes are watery as he gazes back at me, the pads of his thumbs brushing away my tears as he cups my cheeks.

The pain is slowly replaced with a warm comfort, a tender care provided to me by my mate.

My mate. Not my friend. My mate.

Not giving myself a second to overthink things, I take a deep breath and lean in.

Ryland's eyes widen as my lips brush against his. He flinches, making me stop instantly. Panic begins to rise up, and I start to take a step back before Ryland pulls me back to him, pressing his lips firmly to mine.

~~~

FOR NEXT TIME!

Hehe sorry but I want the kiss to be in Ryland's point of view

This chapter wasn't supposed to get heavy like this but it just kind of happened. I write what feels the most natural in the moment, and this is how it progressed. I really like it though, our boys made some good progress today

I also had fun incorporating musicals into this chapter since I'm a huge theatre lover. I perform multiple shows a year and I LOVE it

Until next time!
-Gumbie