"I'm not givin' up. I'm not givin' up, givin' up, no, not me. Even when nobody else believes. I'm not goin' down that easily. So don't give up on me."
~Andy Grammer, 'Don't Give Up On Me'

~~~

*Ryland's POV*

My hands sweat nervously as I sit next to Landon on the couch. I keep my eyes focused on the our brothers' video game, but I can feel Landon eyeing me.

When he asked about River, I completely choked.

I expected that he would ask about my wolf sooner or later, but I was really hoping it would be later.

My biggest mistake was thinking his wolf wouldn't have picked up on the fact that River is... different. Actually, now that I think about it, it's a miracle Landon didn't notice the day we met.

Whatever the reason, Landon clearly knows now that something is wrong with River. I know I should be honest with him, and I want to be... but after hearing what Joan had to say about River...

I can still feel Landon's eyes boring into the side of my head, as if concentrating hard enough would allow him to read my thoughts. When I make the mistake of flickering my eyes over to him, he takes his opportunity to pounce.

"Ryla—"

"I have to pee," I awkwardly announce, scrambling off the couch and darting upstairs.

Slamming the bathroom door shut, I press my back to the door, letting my head fall back with a sigh. I have no clue how I'm supposed to talk to Landon about River. I doubt he's going to drop the topic any time soon, and I don't want to lie to him, but what else am I supposed to do?

If what Joan said is true...

| FLASHBACK - Joan's house |

"Ryland," Joan whispered lowly. "There's something else you should know..."

I tilted my head to the side, lowering my voice. "What is it? Is it about Landon?"

"Yes and no," she answered, taking my hands in hers. "It's about River. There's a way to bring him back."

My eyes widened significantly. "Bring him back? You mean... he wouldn't be feral anymore? He would be my River again?"

Joan nodded her head. "That's right, my dear. I can't speak of any emotional distress he would be in, but River would no longer be a feral wolf."

"How? What do I need to do?"

"River became feral as a result of your rejection. The broken bond broke his soul, so to speak," Joan explained, making me frown because I already knew that part. "If a bond is reformed, his soul would be healed. River would be free of his turmoil and would return to you."

"If a bond is reformed...." I echoed slowly. "What do you mean by that exactly?"

"The bond can only be reformed if you solidify the connection with your mate," Joan went on, and a feeling of dread settled in my stomach. "You must complete the mating process with Landon."

My face paled. "Joan... you heard Landon. He doesn't want a mate. If the only way I can keep him in my life is being nothing more than a friend, then that's what I'll have to do."

"Ryland," Joan started firmly, looking me dead in the eye. "Resisting the mate bond is just as dangerous as a rejection. It may slow down the consequences, but they won't be any less severe."

"My wolf is already feral. What could possibly be worse than that?" I grumbled.

Joan's lips pressed together in a stern line. "You will become feral, as well."

| PRESENT DAY |

How am I supposed to tell Landon that the only way to bring my wolf back is to mark my mate?

Especially when I was the one who suggested we stay friends. Could you imagine that conversation. Oh, hi Landon. Listen, I know we said we could be just friends, but my wolf is feral and the only way to help him is if we have sex and mark each other. Sound good?

Yeah. I'm sure that conversation would go over really well. Telling him that would be an open invitation to him rejecting me.

And even if he doesn't reject me... I'm not sure I could ask him to do that. Whatever happened to him with his previous mate obviously left a deep scar. There's no way I could put him in a painful position by asking him to mate with me when he isn't ready.

If I had to choose between Landon's happiness or fixing myself, I would choose Landon every time.

Even if it means eventually losing myself.

***

Twenty minutes go by with me sitting on the bathroom floor, legs pulled tightly to my chest. I've been in here for an alarming amount of time that could only lead the guys in the living room to believe that unspeakable things are happening with my bowels.

But I haven't worked up the nerve to go back out there and talk to Landon. I can't lie to him, because he's my mate and... I like him. But I can't exactly tell him the truth either, because then I risk him pushing me away entirely.

Ugh, this sucks. I drop my forehead to my knees with a groan.

I wish Lyn were here.

The bathroom door squeaks open, making me jump before mentally kicking myself for forgetting to click the lock.

"Ryland?" Landon's voice comes through softly as he slowly pushes the door open. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I say, but my voice slightly cracks. Landon pushes the door the rest of the way open, his eyes softening when he sees me sitting on the bathroom floor. He walks over and sits down next to me, mirroring my position by pulling his knees to his chest.

"I'm sorry if I made you upset by asking about your wolf," Landon apologizes. "I didn't mean to pry."

"No," I sigh deeply. "You're my mate. You have every right to ask me."

He studies me for a moment for going on. "Leo said something feels off with your wolf. River. You don't have to tell me yet if you don't want to, but I wanted you to know that I'm always here to listen to you."

Tears fill my eyes as guilt washes over me. "Five years ago," I start shakily, "I was rejected by my mate, Roman. He didn't even give me a chance to be his mate. Just took one look at me and rejected me. Every since then, I've been... broken," I finish vaguely.

"I don't think you're broken," Landon murmurs. "You have too much light within you to be broken. You care too much about others to be broken. Trust me, I know broken, and you are not broken."

A tear slips down as I sniffle, quickly wiping away the stray tear. Landon scoots closer to me and wraps an arm over my shoulder.

"Come here," he whispers, pulling me to him. I rest my head on his shoulder, twisting my body so I can wrap my arm around his waist. I tuck my head closer to his neck, letting his scent of lavender and pine flood my senses and calm me down. Our mate bond hums as Landon rubs his hand up and down my back soothingly.

We stay there for a few more minutes until I feel better. Sitting up, I wipe my tears away, cheeks flushed from embarrassment as Landon chuckles at me.

"Come on," he pats my leg. "I bet I can kick your ass at Mario Kart."

I narrow my eyes at him playfully. "Oh, you're on!"

We race out to the living room, jumping up on the couch like children as we snatch the controllers from our brothers' hands.

"Hey!" Kai complains after I steal his controller.

"Our turn," I grin cheekily as Kai glares at me.

"Stupid bitch," Kai grumbles, and I smack the side of his head, making him yelp. Landon laughs, settling into his spot next to me.

Xander doesn't protest when Landon steals his controller. If anything, he just seems amused by my interactions with Kai. Kai is only six years younger than me, but if I remember correctly, Xander is eight years younger than Landon and Lia. It must be really hard for him to be so much younger than all his siblings.

As Kai pouts, Xander tugs on his arm and asks if he can see Kai's room. Kai instantly brightens, excited to show off to his new friend. I smile as I watch them head up the stairs, glad that Landon's plan to make them be friends worked out.

While I was distracted with Kai and Xander, Landon sneakily chose our track for Mario Kart.

"Rainbow Road?" I groan. "That's the hardest one!"

"Maybe if you suck at the game," Landon smirks at me, and I gasp.

Up until now, I've been nothing but gentle with Landon. But if he's going to challenge my video game skills, then all bets are off.

"What the fuck?" Landon gapes at the screen. "How did you lap me?! I was just in front of you!"

"Noooo, you were actually really far behind me," I correct him. "It looked like you were right in front of me, but really I was a lap ahead of you."

"You're cheating somehow," he grumbles, eyes locked on the screen. "There's no way you're this good at this game."

"Don't test me, bitch, I'll fucking drag you."

Landon bursts into a shocked laughter. "Goddess, that's the first thing you've said to me that didn't sound like you were talking to a princess."

"When you doubt my video game skills in my own home, the gloves come off," I grin at him.

"Good," Landon says gruffly. "I wasn't sure I could handle having a mate I couldn't argue with like this."

My thumbs go still on the controller as my lips pull up in a smile. I turn my head to look at Landon, but he looks so focused on the game that I doubt he realizes what he just said.

He just called me his mate.

Giddiness blooms in my stomach, and I can't stop myself from smiling. Not even when Landon's character knocks me off the side of the road as he passes me.

"Boom, bitches!" Landon cheers, throwing his hands up in the air after he drives through the finish line. "That's how it's done! In your face, honeybee!"

The smile vanishes from Landon's face as his cheeks flame red. His mouth hangs opens as he stammers, and I tilt my head to the side.

"Honeybee?" I repeat, still smiling widely which makes Landon blush harder.

"Uhh... it's nothing," he clears his throat. Feeling mischievous, I sit up on my knees and crawl over to him.

"I don't think it's nothing," I grin teasingly. "You called me... honeybee."

Landon stays rooted in his spot as I get closer to him, and I can hear his heart racing in his chest.

"Why did you call me that?" I question softly, leaning down until our faces are only inches apart. Landon gulps, making my heart flutter.

"Your scent," he breathes out. "Vanilla and honey. Just like—" he cuts himself off, his blush spreading down to his neck.

"Just like what?"

Landon locks eyes with me, and I nearly get lost in his oceanic depth. Our mate bond is pulling to me him, but I force myself to hold back.

"Your eyes," he finally says. "The same color as honey."

"So I'm a honeybee," I finish for him with a soft smile. Our lips are just a breath apart, and if I move in any closer, we would be kissing. Instead, I smirk at him and whisper, "That's really gay."

Landon's body relaxes as he laughs and shoves me away from him. "You're an idiot," he chuckles, making me laugh. "Come on, you can pick out the next track."

I smile and nod, and we continue to play various games for the rest of the evening. The more Landon smiles and laughs because of me, the more positive I am that I can't let him go.

No matter what I have to do, I'm not giving up on Landon.

~~~

Finally some playful moments for these two!

Ryland finally opened up a bit about his past, but how long will he be able to keep River a secret?

Comment and vote! Thanks guys!
-Gumbie