^ Picture of Enzo Grey

"Unbreak the broken. Unsay these spoken words. Find hope in the hopeless. Pull me out of the train wreck."
~James Arthur, 'Train Wreck'

~~~

*Landon's POV*

"I'll give you a ride home," Ryland offers when he get back to his house.

"No!" I quickly shout a little too loudly, not ready for him to know that I don't live with a pack. "That's okay. I can call my brother."

Ryland looks like he wants to argue further but swallows it down, his honey eyes swirling with disappointment. Guilt fills my stomach. The poor guy has to put up with hearing his new mate just wants to be friends, and I can't even provide him the courtesy of being kind and honest.

I know he said he's okay with being friends, but how can he be? It's in our nature to want to be with our mates in every way. Hell, all of my instincts are furious with me for agreeing to be friends when all I want to do is feel his legs wrapped around me.

And yet, the thought of being with someone else makes the feeling of guilt triple, and I know I can't be what Ryland needs.

Still, if he wants to give being friends a shot, I'll do it. He seemed terrified at the prospect of me rejecting him, which leads me to believe he faced a pretty painful rejection already.

Roman.

Ryland said his name back at Joan's house, but neither of them elaborated on who he is. Although I have a pretty solid guess that he's the wolf that rejected my honeybee.

I pull out my phone, wincing when I see dozens of missed calls and messages from my family. I clear them out of the way and quickly send a text to Enzo.

{Me}
Can you come pick me up? I'm at the Crescent Sun Pack

{Enzo}
What the hell, Landon?! We've been looking everywhere for you!
Why are you at the Crescent Sun Pack?

{Me}
I'll explain everything later. Text me when you're here

I stuff my phone back into my pocket and face Ryland.

"My brother is on his way to pick me up," I tell him. Ryland nods slowly and sits down on one of the couches in the living room. I choose to sit on a plush chair next to the couch.

"You have a brother," Ryland says, more of a statement than a question.

I nod my head. "Two. And one sister."

"What are their names?"

"Enzo and Xander are my brothers. Enzo is the eldest, and he's married with two daughters. Xander is the youngest, he's only seventeen. Ophelia is my twin sister, but we just call her Lia."

Ryland's eyes light up. "You're a twin?" He asks excitedly. I can't help but grin at his child-like excitement over something as mundane as me having a twin.

"Yup. We don't look much alike besides us both having blonde hair and blue eyes. Although, my parents always say we're basically the same person. Our pack used to refer to us as demon spawn when we were children," I laugh. Ryland smiles wider, sending a satisfied tingle through my body at the knowledge that I'm the one who made him smile. "Lia and I were always getting into trouble, running around pack grounds and playing childish pranks on anyone and everyone. It got to the point where we weren't allowed to leave the house together unless Enzo went with us. He's the stereotypical responsible older brother."

"It must be nice to have such a big family," Ryland smiles, although it doesn't fully reach his eyes. "Kai and I have been pretty much on our own for years."

"You have?" I question, completely shocked. "What about your parents?"

Ryland rubs the back of his neck nervously. "That's a conversation for a different time. I think we've covered enough heavy topics for one night. I don't want to look back on the night we met and only remember that we talked about sad shit."

I chuckle and nod my head. "Fair enough." My phone buzzes with a message from Enzo, letting me know that he's parked right outside the pack. "My brother is here," I tell Ryland.

"I'll walk you to the gates," he offers, standing up from the couch and following me to the door. My initial instinct is to turn him down, but I bite my tongue. I've pushed him away a lot already, and we only just met. Letting him walk me to the gate wouldn't hurt.

There's an awkward distance between us as we walk with our hands tucked in our pockets. We don't say anything, letting the sound of crickets fill the silence. My brother's car is parked a few yards away from the gate, and I notice the guards eyeing him suspiciously.

"It's okay, guys," Ryland calls out to the two wolves standing guard. "They're with me."

The wolves visibly relax at that and resuming tending to their business. We stop at the entrance, Ryland's eyes darting between the ground and my face.

"Er... we don't have a mind link because we haven't mated, so...." he stretches that last word out. "Can I have your number?"

His awkward demeanor actually manages to make me smile. He reminds me of a teenage boy, asking his high school crush out on a date. It's pretty cute, actually. I hold my hand out, and Ryland's almond eyes widen before he snatches his phone out of his pocket and places it in my awaiting palm.

I program my number in and hand the device back to him. He smiles at me and takes a step forward before his smile falters and he steps back.

"What is it?" I ask, tilting my head to the side.

Dirt kicks up as he shuffles his feet, looking down at the ground. "Would it be too much if I wanted to hug you goodbye?" He mumbles shyly.

I hesitate for a moment, but really, what is there to think about? Friends can hug, right? I step towards him, holding out my arms. The biggest smile I've seen from him spreads across his face, and he doesn't waste any time closing the distance between us and throwing his arms around my neck. My arms settle comfortably around his waist as I hold him close.

Almost instinctively, my nose finds the crook of his neck where his honey and vanilla scent is the strongest. I breathe him in, the sweet scent soothing my nerves and making me relax into his embrace. He does the same to me, breathing in my scent and nuzzling his head into my neck.

The blare of the car horn startles us, making us jump apart. I shoot a glare in the direction of the car. Ryland chuckles, sounding a lot more relaxed than he was just a few minutes ago.

"I'll... see you later," I say, keeping my eyes on his dark honey ones as I slowly walk backwards.

"Goodbye, Landon," Ryland waves at me, his smile still present. I'm not sure which made my heart flutter more. Hearing my name on his lips, or seeing that adorable smile as he waved goodbye.

Whichever it was, I can already tell being just friends is going to be a challenge.

I finally manage to tear my eyes away and climb into the passenger seat of the car. As expected, Enzo is staring at me with raised brows, shock masking his face.

"Who was that?" A voice suddenly pipes up from the back seat, making me scream. Lia smirks at my reaction, and I glare at her. To my surprise, Xander is sitting next to her. I raise a brow at Enzo, who's still staring at me in shock.

"I didn't know you were bringing the whole clan," I grumble, sitting back in my seat.

"They were worried," Enzo explains, irritation replacing his shock. "We all were. What the hell happened? Why were you at this pack? And who was that guy you were hugging?"

"Just drive, Sherlock. I'll explain on the way," I instruct. Enzo actually listens to me and turns the car around, driving away from the Crescent Sun Pack.

"Spill!" Lia whines, grabbing onto the back of my seat and shaking it.

So I do.

I tell them everything, from feeling an invisible pull during the coronation, to meeting Ryland, to our visit with Joan. It's quite impressive that Enzo managed to not crash the car, even though he did swerve a few times whenever I said something particularly shocking.

By the end, all three are staring at me with their jaws dropped. We've safely made it to my house, so Enzo is free to gape at me as much as he wishes. They don't say anything for a while, and I sit patiently to give them a chance to process.

"Landon, this is amazing!" Lia breathes out excitedly. "You've been given a second chance to have a mate! The Moon must really love you, huh?"

"What's even better is that you won't have to live as a rogue anymore," Enzo chimes in before I can say anything. "Once you guys mate, you can live with his pack. This is... this is really good, Landon. You won't be risking going feral. You can be happy again." Enzo smiles widely as he lists all the reasons why it's so great that I have a new mate.

Lia and Enzo continue to throw reason after reason at me, not bothering to give me a chance to speak. Xander has been quiet this whole time, until he places a hand on Enzo's shoulder, effectively silencing the two chatterboxes.

"More importantly," Xander starts in his usual soft tone. "How do you feel about having a new mate?"

The three stare at me expectantly, with Lia and Enzo looking like they hadn't even considered that I may be anything less than thrilled.

"I... I don't know," I admit. "I never, in a million years, would have thought the Moon would give me another mate. Part of me is happy, and wants to get to know Ryland more. But another part... feels guilty."

"Guilty?" Lia questions gently.

I sigh, wrapping my arms around myself. "It feels like I'm betraying Easton," I whisper almost inaudibly.

"Oh, Landon," Lia murmurs sympathetically, reaching forward to place a hand on my shoulder.

I bury my face in my hands. I've never been the best at expressing my feelings, and even less so after Easton died. Despite all that, I can't stop the word vomit that starts pouring out.

"He was supposed to be the one I spent the rest of my life with. We made plans. I centered my future around him. And now he's gone, and I'm just supposed to accept that someone else is taking his place? Someone I don't know? I can't just reject Ryland because it's clear he went through some shit with his last mate, and I'm not completely heartless. He says he's okay with being my friend and going at whatever pace I set, but what if I can never give him more than friendship? Wouldn't it be better to reject him now than to drag this thing out and make it harder later on?"

"Landon, breathe," Enzo cuts off my rambling. "That's... you guys just met, right? You're worrying about things you don't need to worry about yet. Yeah, you may never return his feelings, but what if you do? You're psyching yourself out, telling yourself that it's impossible for you to love someone again. Don't focus on falling in love with Ryland right now. Just... take things one day at a time. Start by being his friend. Get to know him. Just don't make any rash decisions that'll hurt you both."

I let his words sink in before slowly nodding my head. I know he's right. The future is unpredictable, and I shouldn't make decisions based on what I think will happen. Still, it's hard to shake the feeling of guilt whenever I imagine the possibility of falling in love with someone else.

"And he's not going to replace Easton," Xander says. "No one can. But that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be happy. You knew Easton better than anyone, wouldn't he want you to be happy?"

He would. I know he would. But still....

"Can you guys do me a favor?" I ask. Enzo and Xander look at me curiously, while Lia snorts.

"We are not telling mom and dad for you," Lia says firmly.

"How did you know that's what I was going to ask?" I groan.

Lia laughs, her pink-painted lips pulling up into a smile. "Because I know you're too chicken to face the millions of questions mom will ask. You know she'll want to meet him."

"Yeah, I know," I grumble. After thanking Enzo for the ride and bidding my siblings goodnight, I hop out of the car and head inside the house. The lights are still on, which isn't surprising considering Lucca is kind of a night owl.

I find him in the kitchen, sitting on one of the bar stools and munching on a sandwich. He grins when he sees me; a bit of ham hanging past his lips.

"Yo! You're back," he notes enthusiastically, his words muffled by the food in his mouth.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," I scold, sitting on the bar stool next to him.

"Sorry, mom," he retorts sarcastically, swallowing his bite of food. "How'd it go tonight?"

The weight of everything that happened tonight comes crashing down on me, and I realize how worn out I am. I rub my face, as if doing so would ease some of the burden.

"I'll tell you about it tomorrow. I'm going to bed," I say as I get up and walk to my room. Lucca shouts after me, telling me to have a goodnight, but I don't have the energy to respond.

I slam the door shut and peel off my clothes, not bothering to change into pajamas. I'm about to let the shirt fall carelessly to the floor when the faint scent of honey and vanilla reaches me. Curling up under the covers, I lift the fabric to my nose and inhale deeply, closing my eyes.

A chime from my phone warrants an irritated groan as I groggily pull myself up to check my messages. The sleep in my eyes vanishes the moment I see who it's from.

{unknown number}
Hey, it's Ryland
I just wanted you to know that, even though we don't know what might happen in the future, I'm glad I met you
Have a good night :)

A smile tugs at my lips, and for the first time, I feel a spark of hope in a hopeless situation. I quickly save his number into my phone, smiling wider when I choose a contact name for him.

Honeybee.

~~~

I already love them so much 🤧

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-Gumbie