^ Picture of Lyn even though she's not in this chapter lol

"Haven't you had enough of all of this? Haven't you had enough of loneliness?"
~Lewis Capaldi, 'Don't Get Me Wrong'

~~~

*Ryland's POV*

"I'm not sure if these will fit, but you can try them on. The bathroom is down the hall," I say as I hand a shirt and a pair of shorts to Landon.

When he reaches forward to take the clothes, our fingers brush, sending tingles up my arm. Landon lets his hand linger for a second before yanking his hand back with a blush. I can't help the slight sting that follows that, but I have to remind myself that this is new for the both of us. We have to take things slow.

He scurries down the hall and locks himself in the bathroom. I sigh and turn back around, heading towards my room. It doesn't come as a surprise when I see Kai sitting on my bed, arms folded over his chest.

I shut the door gently behind me, knowing whatever is about to happen might get kind of loud. It is Kai, after all.

"Why are you so calm about this?" Kai jumps right in. I shake my head, grabbing a pair of jeans and stepping into them.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm in shock," I ponder. "I never thought I'd get another chance at having a mate, but here he is. Whatever the Moon Goddess did to give us both another mate, I'm not going to take it for granted. I've watched so many of my friends be happy with their mates. Don't you think I deserve to have a mate, too?"

Kai's face softens. "Of course I do, but...." he pauses and sighs. "Aren't you worried?"

"About what?"

He squirms on my bed, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. "About what would happen if he were to reject you," he whispers.

The blood in my body freezes over, my limbs locking in place. My entire body becomes restricted with the fear of being rejected a second time. I lost River the first time.... would I lose myself the second time?

I can't.
I can't go through that again. I'll do anything — everything — to keep Landon from rejecting me.

Please, Goddess. I don't know if you actually listen to us, but please.... please don't put me through that again. Please don't give me another mate, just so you can tear him away. Please...

"Ryland," Kai says softly, suddenly standing in front of me and gripping my arms. "You're okay. I'm here. Breathe. Come on, you can do it. In through your nose, and out though your mouth."

I follow his calm instructions, taking deep breaths until my body doesn't feel as rigid. Kai keeps holding onto me as I start to relax. He watches me, checking for any signs that I might start freaking out again.

"I'm okay," I breathe out, my voice a little hoarse. Kai's eyes run over my face before he nods and takes a step back.

A knock at the door pulls our attention, and I rush over to open it. Landon is standing there, nervously shuffling his feet and scratching the back of his neck.

"Um.... I'm ready to go when you are," he says. My gaze flickers down his body, and my heart begins to pound in my chest. The sight of my mate in my clothing fills me with excitement, and I want nothing more than to scoop him into my arms and hold him close.

"Let's go," I say before I accidentally slip up by moving too quickly and scaring him off. He follows me down the stairs to where Ronnie is waiting on the couch. She gives me a nod as we make our way towards the door.

'Be careful,' she says to me.

'I will,' I reassure her, knowing why she's concerned. I don't doubt she has the same reservations as Kai, worried that I'm going to get hurt again. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared too, but I'm choosing to stay optimistic for the time being.

We walk in silence to the deepest part of the pack where Joan, our elder wolf, lives alone. The elders are chosen by the Moon Goddess, given a special mark to let everyone know they have been chosen. The elder is usually a wolf that had a great impact on the pack during their earlier years, and is given a blessing by the goddess herself when they reach a later stage of life. Joan was one of our former Lunas, and she did amazing work for our pack to make us what we are today. No one was surprised when she bore the mark of the Moon, and was given the ability to live a longer life to serve the pack.

Since elders have a direct connection to the Moon, they are often sought out for guidance and wisdom. I'm hoping Joan will be able to reach out to the Moon and tell us how Landon and I became mated.

I knock on the door of the cottage with Landon shuffling nervously beside me, and my fingers twitch with the desire to hold his hand comfortingly. Before I can make such a move, the door swing open.

"Ryland," Joan's voice is smooth and deep, sending a wave of comfort over me. Her dark curls, which are only slightly darker than her gorgeous skin, are pulled up away from her face. The mark of the Moon is prominently displayed in the middle of her forehead; a crescent pattern that's a shade deeper than her skin.  Joan smiles warmly at me, making me feel more relaxed. She looks at Landon and doesn't hesitate to smile at him as well. "Please, come in."

Her home is cozy, styled almost like a hut. There's a low round table with cushions on the ground in lieu of chairs, and the delectable smell of something boiling on the stove fills the air. Landon looks around, his blue eyes wide with awe. It makes me curious how different the home of his elder is.

Joan motions for both of us to take a seat, and we gingerly sit down on the cushions. The elder grabs two bowls and fills them with a creamy soup from the pot on the stove. She sets the bowls in front of us with a smile.

"Eat up. You both look exhausted," Joan says.

The realization that we left before the meal hits me as my stomach growls loudly. The corners of Landon's mouth twitches in a faint smile, which makes my face heat up.

We take a few bites of the soup, eyes widening by how delicious it is.

"What is this, Joan? It's amazing!" I ask her.

Joan smiles proudly. "Bisque. Family recipe."

I nod my head and dive back into my food, eating as fast as I can without making a mess. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Landon watching as I stuff my face with food, and I force myself to slow down and eat at a normal pace.

"Now then," Joan starts. "Why would two freshly mated wolves be coming to see me instead of spending some quality time together?"

Landon drops his spoon in his bowl, his eyes widening. "You can tell we're mates?"

Joan laughs heartily. "Of course, baby. I am blessed with a direct connection to our goddess. Your connection is freshly formed and is extremely strong. It would be harder for me not to sense that you are mates."

"Joan, that's what we came to talk to you about," I say, sitting up straight. "You... you know that I already had a mate."

Joan hums thoughtfully. "Indeed. Mates are a gracious gift from our goddess. What a shame it is when one rejects such a wonderful gift."

My face flushes when Landon glances at me. I don't know why I feel so ashamed for him to know I was rejected. Landon had a mate too, so doesn't that mean he was also rejected?

"How is it possible that Landon and I are mates?" I lift my head and continue on. "We both already had mates, and I've never heard of wolves getting a second mate. Have you?"

Joan thinks on that for a moment before holding out both her hands. "Give me your hands," she instructs.

I place my hand in hers without a second thought, but Landon doesn't do the same.

"It's okay," I whisper, making him turn his crystal blue eyes to me. "I know we just met, but you can trust me."

Landon holds my gaze for a few seconds longer before releasing a breath and placing his hand in Joan's awaiting palm.  Joan smiles warmly for a brief moment before it slips away, and her face goes blank. Her dark eyes turn completely white as the crescent mark on her forehead begins to glow the same color.

We both watch in amazement at the scene before us. I've heard of elders having a direct connection to the Moon, but I've never seen the power in action. Landon must not have either, because the wonder on his face mirrors mine.

Joan holds our hands tightly as the white light glows brighter. Tingles race up my arm from where she touches my palm. I see Landon chewing his bottom lip from the corner of my eye, and I offer him a small smile in an attempt to help him relax. He doesn't return the smile, but I can feel his nerves easing up.

The light dims, and Joan's white glowing eyes return to their normal dark brown color as the crescent mark does the same. Joan blinks a few times before refocusing on us and releasing our hands.

"Five years ago," Joan starts, "you both suffered the painful loss of your mate bonds. Your bonds broke at the exact same time, causing a phenomenon that I've only seen once before. Think of it like this," she stands from the table and grabs two balls of yarn from a nearby basket, and one red and one blue, along with a pair of scissors. She cuts a long string of yarn of each color and holds them up. "Landon, let us say the red string represents your former bond. Ryland, let's say the blue represents yours." Joan picks up the scissors and cuts both strings in half, and Landon winces. "When the bond was severed, your ends of the mate bond became frantic to feel attached to your mate again. Now, you both know the Moon has assigned a mate to each and every wolf. If that moment, your broken bonds were returned to the Moon at the exact same moment, and they collided." Joan brings Landon's red string to my blue string, and ties them together. "Our goddess felt your pain and brought your souls together, which immediately sought out the other free bond and latched on. Two broken spirits finding solace in one another. Thus, your new bond was formed."

The two of us stare of Joan, completely dumfounded. Joan sighs and sets down her props.

"To summarize, your bonds were severed at the exact same time five years ago, which lead to the joining of your souls," Joan reiterates. "If your bonds had broken at different times, I don't believe they would have formed together. Your bonds would have been returned to the Moon and that would've been that. Our goddess felt your anguish and showed you mercy."

"Roman," I hear myself say without thinking, making Landon blink and look at me. "Does that mean he got another mate?"

Joan shakes her head. "The Moon does not show the same mercy to the one who rejects her gifts. You two did not choose to break your bonds, which is why you were shown mercy. That being said, if you were to reject this bond as well, you will not get another chance at having a mate."

My head snaps up at that. The possibility of being rejected again sends a flurry of panic into my chest, constricting my lungs. I close my eyes and play Kai's voice over and over in my head.

"You're okay. I'm here. Breathe. Come on, you can do it. In through your nose, and out though your mouth."

After following the breathing instructions, I'm able to reopen my eyes to see Landon focused on me. He studies me before turning back to Joan.

"Does this bond work the same as a normal bond?" Landon questions. "Like... if we were to reject each other, would it cause the same amount of pain?"

The wind gets knocked out of me, as if someone sucker punched me in the gut. I desperately grasp Landon's arm and look at him with panic-filled eyes.

"Please, don't reject me," I plead, my voice shaking. "I can't... just, please. Give me a chance. I can be a good mate. We can take things at your pace, move as slow as you need. Please. Don't reject me."

Pain fills Landon's ocean eyes. "But... I already had a mate..."

"Please," I beg again, tears filling my eyes. The look of pain on Landon's face increases as he watches me, pleading and trembling with watery eyes. "I promise that we can go at your pace. If you want to start out as friends, we can do that. Anything you need, anything."

"You'd be okay with that?" Landon asks skeptically. "Being friends?"

"Yes," I quickly nod my head. "Whatever you need."

Landon's eyes search my face as Joan watches us silently, though I can feel her eyes on me. Being friends might not be the ideal situation, but I've had enough loneliness to last a lifetime. I'm not losing this mate too.

"Okay," he finally says, lifting the crushing weight off my shoulders. "Friends."

"Friends," I nod my head in agreement and let go of his arm, my palm still tingling from where our skin touched. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Joan staring at me with an unreadable expression.

Before I can ask what she's thinking about, Landon speaks up. "Thank you for helping us, elder," he says politely as we stand.

Joan smiles at him, grabbing his hand and patting it softly. "Just Joan is fine, dear. You come back any time you need to talk. You may not be a member of the pack, but every wolf should be able to speak to an elder when they need help."

Shock crosses Landon's face before he smiles and nods. He glances at me before opening the door and walking towards the car. I start to follow behind him but I'm stopped when Joan gently holds onto my arm.

"Ryland," Joan whispers lowly. "There's something else you should know..."

~~~

Another chapter, yay!

Being just friends with the person that's supposed to be your other half... sounds like a solid plan

What do you guys think of Joan? I love her. She gives me mama bear vibes.
What do you think she said to Ryland??

Thanks, loves!
-Gumbie