^ Picture of Landon

"So many years have come and gone. But every picture without you still feels so wrong. I've been thinking lately... what would you say if you saw me? Would you be proud of what I've become?"
~Michael Schulte, 'The Love You Left Behind'

~~~

*Landon's POV*

| FIVE YEARS LATER |

I wake up gasping for air, sweat drenching the back of my shirt. My body trembles as I try to recover from the horrific nightmare. Salty tears are already running down my face, and I quickly brush them away.

Fuck, I really need to stop drinking before bed.

That event from five years ago still plays in my mind when I go to sleep. The nightmares used to happen every night, but now they only come when I fall asleep drunk. It's a constant reminder of how shitty my life has become.

That, and the headaches of my hangovers spurred on from my depression-induced drinking.

I yank the damp shirt off and throw it somewhere across the room, not really caring where it lands. I roll back over and try to fall back asleep. There's a moment of peacefulness as I sink back into the blankets, and I feel the beginnings of a smile on my lips.

Of course, life is never that easy for me.

My cell phone blares, making my head pound excruciatingly. I groan and roll over, not even bothering to check the caller ID before declining the call.

I flop back down, screwing my eyes closed tightly to block out any unnecessary light. Shit, how much did I drink last night anyway?

The phone blares again, and annoyance floods me as I answer the call with a low growl.

"What?" I snap at whoever dared to interrupt my beauty sleep. Not like it would help, anyways. I'd have bags under my eyes no matter how much sleep I got.

"Excuse the fuck outta you," a voice sharply retorts. "Who pissed in your Cheerios?"

I roll my eyes. "What do you want, Lia?"

"Can't a girl just call to check up on her favorite twin?"

"A girl, perhaps. But not a demon," I grumble as Lia cackles over the line. "Besides, I'm your only twin."

"Which is exactly why it's my responsibility to make sure you get up and get your ass in the shower. We're having lunch with mom and dad today, or did you forget?"

I curse under my breath, sitting up on the bed. "No, of course not. I've been up for hours," I fib.

Yeah... I one-hundred percent forgot.

Whoops.

Lia snorts loudly. "Yeah, sure. I'm sure you didn't stay up late having a pity party. Just like I didn't call Lucca to make sure you come to this lunch instead of taking off like last time."

My jaw drops and I narrow my eyes. "You didn't."

"See you soon," Lia sings cheerfully, hanging up on me before I can curse at her for recruiting my roommate to ambush me. I scramble out of my bed, only to stumble for a second from my hangover as I rush to the door. Sure enough, when I swing the door open I'm greeted by the guilty face of a traitor.

"Lucca," I groan dramatically. "Really? You sided with my sister?"

Lucca flashes me a guilty smile. "I'm sorry, man. Lia was right though, you can't be trusted to get to that lunch by yourself. It's like you hear the term 'family gathering' and head straight for the hills. Plus, Lia's hot. I'm pretty much whipped for her."

"She's not even your mate," I remind him flatly.

"I know that, dumbass," Lucca scoffs. "But I don't have a mate, so where's the harm in flirting?"

"There's nothing wrong with flirting, just stop betraying me so you can fuck my sister."

Lucca grimaces and laughs at that. "Fair enough. Oh, and Landon? Go take a shower. You fucking reek of booze."

"It's my natural scent," I tease, and Lucca shoves me towards the bathroom. I chuckle as I gather up my toiletries and hop under the steaming hot water.

I met Lucca Rivera three years ago. After I left the Silver Woods Pack, I lived on my own for two years in some sketchy little studio apartment on the bad side of town. It's not like I cared about how shitty it was, anyway. Nothing would ever be shittier than what happened two years prior. The only people from the pack I've kept in contact with are my immediate family members. Everyone else was dead to me. If they wanted to hate me and kick out their Luna, then fuck them.

There was a night where I was particularly moody and went out drinking. I drank quite a bit and was letting loose on the dance floor when I saw a guy with rippling muscles, standing around like a hot piece of eye-candy. It had been two years since I had sex, and I was ready to bury my sorrowful self-pity in someone else.

Yeah... turned out guys don't like it if you randomly start grinding on them.
Without an introduction.
While they're in the middle of a conversation.

Anyway, I got my ass handed to me pretty badly. I was drunk and pissed and decided to go for a run. I made my way to the forest, making sure to stay in neutral territory, and stripped before shifting. I ran for a while until I caught the scent of another wolf.

A rogue.

Which, I couldn't really judge because I was technically a rogue. A wolf without a pack was considered a rogue, whether or not it was a choice.

And Moon Goddess knows I didn't have a choice.

The rogue quickly picked up on my scent too and rushed towards me. I assumed it was going to attack, so I acted first and pinned it to the ground before it had the chance.

The wolf had dark brown fur with streaks of black, and bite marks on his ears. His eyes widened when I tackled him to the ground, and he started yelping like a pup before I heard the bone-crunching to indicate he was shifting.

The rogue transitioned into a young man with dark caramel skin and black curly hair, short on the sides but fluffy on top. His hazel eyes were wide with panic from being tackled by an unknown wolf.

"Woah, woah, woah!" He had shouted frantically. "I don't want to fight you!"

I tilted my head to the side to show I was confused, but didn't shift back.

"I smelled another rogue and I was curious!" He continues. "Fuck, I would've stayed away if I knew you were going to go all Hulk on my ass!"

I barked out a laugh at that before stepping away and shifting back, not caring that now we were both naked. The guy stared at me in wide-eyed disbelief.

"What?" I asked suspiciously. He cleared his throat and shook his head.

"Nothing," he said, but I just raised an eyebrow at his obvious lie. "It's just that I've never met another rogue who doesn't look like... well, a rogue."

I knew exactly what he meant. Most rogues were extremely cold and violent, willing to tear apart any wolf they came into contact with. They tended to be covered in scars from their many fights, making it easy to point them out in a crowd. There were a few peaceful rogues, but the violent rogues already sullied our name, and no one could trust us.

"I'm Lucca," he introduced himself with a bright smile.

I curtly nodded my head. "Landon."

Lucca pursed his lips and nodded slowly. "Man of few words, huh? That's okay, I'll get you to talk more eventually. Anyway, are you hungry? I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat, yeah? Where do you live?"

My jaw dropped. Did a strange rogue really just invite himself to my apartment? Was he crazy? I studied him for a moment to see if he was joking, but his expression told me he was serious. I sighed and motioned for him to follow me. Lucca asked me to wait a second and he ran deeper into the woods, emerging with a set of clothing he must've hidden out here. I led us to where I left my clothing and redressed before leading him to my apartment.

Lucca's disapproval for where I lived was immediate. I wanted to be offended, but really I was just amused. A guy I met less than twenty minutes ago is judging where I lived? After he invited himself over?

My amusement was short lived when Lucca suddenly offered for me to crash with him until I found a better place. I was shocked and instantly declined, but he was really persistent. Fuck, he was annoyingly persistent. I eventually caved just to make him shut up.

We packed up what few possessions I had and took a taxi to Lucca's house. It was a small house, but a house nonetheless in a cute little suburban neighborhood. I eyed him warily, unsure if this was all one big trap. This place was far nicer than where any other rogues lived.

Lucca sensed my eyes shooting lasers into his back, and turned around to smirk at me. "I'm not gonna hurt you or anything. I'm just sick and tired of living by myself and want a roommate that's not going to freak out over the fact that I'm, you know, a wolf."

I stared at him, sensing he's not telling the full truth. "And?" I pushed.

Lucca scratched the back of his head, ruffling the black curls. "And I really need someone to split the rent with. Who knew houses were so expensive?"

I shook my head. "I thought I was only staying here until I could find a new place."

"Well... yeah... or this could be your new place," Lucca said hopefully. "Come on, think about it! It would be so fun! Two rogues, against the world. You have to admit, it sounds pretty badass."

"You don't know anything about me."

"Okay, so let's change that. How old are you?"

"Twenty-two."

"Oh sweet, I turn twenty-two next month!" Lucca excitedly informed me. "Okay, do you have a job? Cause that's pretty important in terms of rent money."

I nodded my head. "I work at a cafe."

Lucca wrinkled his nose at that. "Ugh, okay we need to get you a better job. Coffee shops are for teenagers with no skill sets."

"Actually, it's pretty ha—"

"Na na na na!" Lucca chanted while childishly covering his ears. "I don't wanna hear it. We're getting you a new job. Okay, next question. Why did you leave your old pack?"

All previous light-heartedness was sucked out of me, and my eyes darkened considerably. Lucca picked up on my change in demeanor and gulped.

"Alright, we'll save that for another time," he chuckled nervously. "As for me, I was kicked out of my pack for blasphemy."

My eyebrows shot up in shock. "You blasphemed the Moon Goddess?" I asked, and Lucca nodded. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Don't like the bitch. She dictates what happens in our lives, and we're just supposed to accept that? Fuck that. I don't like being told what to do. Anyway, I voiced my opinion in front of the wrong people and got the boot. Now I live here all by my lonesome. Not even my family talks to me. It's kinda like Amish rules, you know? I'm basically shunned."

My chest ached with pity for Lucca. My pack may have turned on me, but I still had my family. If I didn't have them to help keep me sane, I don't know where I'd be.

"I'm sorry, Lucca," I said softly. Lucca looked at me with surprise over my softened tone. His cheeks pinkened and he scratched the back of his neck again. I started to notice that's a nervous habit of his.

"Er... yeah, well, it's over and done with," he mumbled. "Anyway, the spare bedroom is down the hall to the right. Feel free to decorate however you want in there, but don't leave shit laying around the shared areas. Don't expect me to pick up after you, I'm not your fucking maid."

I laughed and nodded my head in agreement. From there, Lucca quickly became my closest friend. Well really, my only friend, seeing how my old friends were quick to ditch me when I left the pack.

I smile at the memory as I finish up in the shower. Lucca and I have come a long way since that day. It took some time, but I eventually told him why I left the pack and introduced him to my family over dinner. My mom asked if he was my boyfriend, to which I choked on my food and Lucca cried laughing.

I love Lucca, I do. But not in the 'I wanna jump your bones' way. He's the one who provided me with an actual home, when I hadn't been able to really call anywhere 'home' in years. He got me to open back up and laugh again when I thought I never would. He's my best friend; my brother. And I'm forever grateful to him.

Which is why I didn't kick his ass for agreeing to help my sister force me into this lunch.

The shower water is hot enough to make my skin pink, but it helps relax my muscles. I lean my head back, letting the water fall on my face and through my dark blonde locks. Damn, I wish I could stay in here all day.

Like I said before, life is never that easy.

Lucca pounds on the door, shouting for me to get my ass in gear and get dressed. I reluctantly comply, turning off the water and drying off with a towel hanging on the wall next to the shower. I remember to quickly shave, knowing my mom would have a stroke if I looked like I wasn't taking care of myself. I go to my closet and flick through my options, settling on a pale blue sweater and dark denim jeans.

On my way to the door, I pause and examine myself in the full-length mirror in my bedroom. My hair has gotten longer, to the point where the golden strands would brush my eyebrows if I didn't keep my hair brushed back. There are faint bags under my dark blue eyes from lack of sleep, and my skin is pale as a result of my excessive drinking last night.

Shit, my mom is going to be all over me, asking if I'm eating and sleeping enough. Which, of course I'm not, but she doesn't need to know that. It would only worry her more.

I slip my black sneakers on and lace them up before heading towards the front door. Lucca is standing there with an encouraging smile. I take a shaky breath and give him a small smile before heading out to the restaurant.

I'm not scared of my family. On the contrary, I love them a lot and I always look forward to seeing them. This particular lunch, however, is going to be different. They're going to want to talk about things I'm not prepared to talk about. My family is still a part of the Silver Woods Pack. While there's a part of me that wishes they had left the pack when I got kicked out, I know I wouldn't wish it on them to be rogues. Sure, things are easier for me now, but that's all thanks to Lucca. Still, as rogues, there are different challenges we face.

For example: hunting. We can't go hunting without being hunted ourselves. Pack wolves think it's fun to hunt down and attack rogue wolves, not stopping to consider that not all of us are bloodthirsty monsters.

I'm also not allowed near pack grounds. Whenever I see my family, we have to meet in the small area that is neutral territory. If I'm caught on pack grounds without being invited by the Alpha, their pack would have every right to attack me. And the chances of me getting an invite from the Alpha are pretty much non-existent.

Leon, Easton's younger brother, will be taking over as Alpha of the Silver River Pack. For the past five years, their father Silas has been resuming the duties of Alpha until they could get Leon properly trained. He was only seventeen years old when Easton died, so he wasn't anywhere near ready to take over the pack.

Easton... I wonder if he would be proud of me, of what I've become.

At the thought of Easton, my heart clenches and my inner wolf begins to whimper. The only sound my wolf, Leo, has made for the past few years.

"I know, buddy," I murmur to him, even though I know he barely listens to me anymore. "I miss him too."

Taking a deep breath, I fruitlessly try to prepare myself for a conversation with my family about the pack that banished their Luna.

~~~

I love Lucca 🥰

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