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JANUARY 1, 2024

Dozens of fireworks exploded in the night sky above, wreaking havoc on Andi's young and vulnerable mind. Memories, unpleasant memories Andi fought to forget, danced around inside her head. She could feel herself falling deeper and deeper into a state of panic as the bloodied and battered mental images continued to terrorize her. It was happening again, and there was no way to stop it. Andi couldn't breathe. She could almost hear the sound of her heart pounding rapidly inside her aching chest. She tore her jacket off as she hurried through the crowd, not even bothering to care where it dropped in the snow. Even in the crisp winter air, Andi felt like she was on fire, and she was desperate to cool off. The worst part of it all was she knew exactly what was happening to her, and after months of trying she had yet to find her escape from it.

"Andi!"

Andi knew the worried voice calling out to her was Peter, but she couldn't give him her attention. Not yet, at least. That didn't mean he wouldn't give her his, however, and Andi knew this.

"Hey, you okay?" Peter asked as he approached the spot at the curb where Andi stopped. She nodded her head in response to his question, but even he could see right through her. She fought to catch her breath, and the way she grabbed her pounding chest put a frown on Peter's face. She wasn't okay, and she hadn't been for months.

"Andi, I—"

Andi shook her head quickly as if to keep the words from coming out of his mouth. She knew what he wanted to say. Peter was the one person who knew her better than anyone. He knew she'd been slowly spiraling over the last couple of months, and while he was prepared to do what he could to help her, he wasn't prepared for what she was ready to do. Even Andi herself wasn't so sure she was prepared, but she'd made her decision, and it was already proving to be her worst one yet.

"I can't..." Andi shook her head again and finally looked at Peter, this time with tears in her brown eyes. "I can't do it anymore, Peter."

"Hey..." Peter rushed over to her as quickly as he could to provide her comfort. He'd never seen her so down in the few years he'd known her. In fact, he'd never seen her so down at all. Andi was a complex individual with even more complex emotions she tended to keep buried away, but she was never one to hide from Peter. She was never able to and she never tried to. It was only now he realized she was trying to, and that worried him more than he thought it would. "Everything's gonna be okay, Andi."

Andi gave a dry chuckle and wiped her face free of tears. She wanted to believe him, but she couldn't. Everything was already supposed to be okay. Andi was supposed to be okay, but she wasn't. Even the New Year's celebration she'd been dragged to by the boy she loved most couldn't lift her spirits. She found it hard to be okay inside a world where so many bad things happened and so many good people were forced to pay the price for it.

"It's too much, Peter," Andi told him quietly as she finally managed to calm down from her previous panic attack. "It hurts too much."

Peter sighed sadly as he took in the pained expression on Andi's face. She was trying so hard to keep it all inside. She was trying hard to find a way to lift the bone-crushing weight of her grief off of her shoulders, but even Peter could tell she was having a difficult time finding the strength.

"I know, I know," Peter replied quietly as he stood in front of her on the sidewalk. The snow was starting to fall again, and Peter could see Andi was becoming uncomfortable with it. She never had been a big fan of snow before. "I thought taking you out to celebrate the new year would help get your mind off things. I figured it wouldn't hurt us to be actual teenagers for once," he laughed.

"Well, I don't want you to think I don't appreciate the gesture." Andi walked away from him to sit on the curb. She was sure her jeans would get soaked, but she had other matters to concern herself with. "You've been so amazing to me the last few months, Peter."

"Because I care about you, Andi," Peter responded simply. "You think it doesn't suck for me to see you like this, but it does. I want things to go back to normal just as much as you do, but I can't help you if you don't let me."

Andi wiped her face again and looked out at the busy street. Cars passed by quickly, and in that moment Andi thought of just how peaceful it would be to jump in one and disappear for the next 6 months. Pepper would never allow it, however, and at this point she doubted Peter would either.

"I don't think things are ever gonna go back to normal, Peter," Andi told him quietly. She met his eyes for the briefest moment before turning away when the emotion became too much. "Normal isn't us. It never has been us."

"Not being normal is still a normal for us." Peter chuckled and sat down beside her. "You just need someone to help you embrace it."

"And what if I don't want to embrace it?" Andi asked with a sigh of defeat. "I don't know if this is what I want anymore—all this trauma, all this loss. There's only so much a person can take."

Peter nodded in understanding but couldn't help the sadness pulling at the very edges of his heart. To see her so broken came a feeling he couldn't explain, and knowing why she was only helped worsen it. Peter remembered the battle just as vividly as Andi did. He remembered the fight they fought and remembered the lives they lost, especially one life in particular. Andi watched the entire ordeal with young and innocent eyes and wondered if she'd ever be able to wipe such an image of someone she loved so much from the confines of her mind. Andi couldn't stand to see Tony the way he had been, and she definitely didn't want that to be the most vivid memory she had left to come back to. Losing her parents and her sister in such a violent manner traumatized Andi at the time, but she couldn't even imagine how she would've handled watching their deaths play out in front of her very eyes. She wasn't sure she ever would've been able to wipe that memory from her mind, and that was her fear now as she tried desperately to picture the smiling face of her crazy Uncle Tony.

"I miss him too, y'know?"

"I know you do, Peter."

And Andi did know. After losing his parents and his Uncle Ben, Peter developed a special bond with the famous billionaire. Tony had become not only a mentor and a friend to Peter in the short time they knew each other, but a father figure of sorts. It was the same relationship Andi had developed with him after losing her family. Tony always seemed to be around more for Andi after that, often times more than Pepper, who was the only biological family she had left at the time. He mentored her and helped her swing her way through the cruel world of being a superhero. He believed in her, he trusted her, and he loved her. Tony meant a lot to Andi, just as he meant a lot to so many others. It was impossible not to miss him, and neither of them were ready for how much it hurt.

"But I still have you," Peter said with a soft smile on his face.

"You don't have me, though," Andi told him. She met his eyes once more, completely letting that smile she loved tear her apart inside. She wasn't looking forward to what was about to happen next, but she needed to do what she thought was best. She couldn't be selfish anymore, even if it did ruin such a beautiful winter night. "I've been so far away from myself for months, and I don't know how long it's gonna take me to get her back—if I even can get her back. What I do know is I can't risk losing you in the process."

"Andi, I know what you're trying to do..." Peter spoke with a nervousness Andi hadn't heard since the two first met, and she looked away from him as fresh tears began to fill her eyes. "Please don't push me away."

"I can't love you the way you deserve to be loved right now," Andi spoke quietly. She wiped her face quickly but didn't look back up at Peter. She was afraid of whatever emotion she might see swimming around in those beautiful brown eyes of his, so she elected to keep her gaze focused on the shining lights of the surrounding city. Everything looked so peaceful, though Andi felt anything but. "It wouldn't be right to stay with you knowing I couldn't be everything to you that you've been to me. You deserve so much better than that."

"You don't wanna be with me anymore..." Peter's voice was soft as he spoke, but Andi could hear just how much emotion was threatening to spill out of him. He was upset, but she expected it.

"All I want is to be with you, Peter Parker," Andi quickly reassured him. The last thing she wanted was to end the relationship she'd come to absolutely cherish, but Andi couldn't let it go on knowing somewhere on her journey to rock bottom, she accidentally dragged Peter down with her. She refused to keep dragging him down, however, so her only solution was to set him free from the emotional bonds of their relationship.

"Then stay, please."

Andi took a deep breath and turned to face him. She thought for a moment as she looked over the seemingly flawless features of his face. Her eyes flashed to his lips, and for a moment she caught herself second-guessing everything about her decision. Would she be able to go without Peter's soft kisses? Would she be able to handle the emptiness of not having his hand to hold? Would she be able to live with the cold left behind by the absence of his arms wrapped protectively around her body? There were so many questions zooming through her muddled mind. She wondered if she was making the right decision, but if making such a decision now meant not losing the one she loved most later, there was no question about it.

Andi quickly closed the space between her and Peter. She pressed her lips to his in a gentle manner, desperate to kiss him one last time before she was forced to get up and walk away. She never imagined that something as simple as a kiss goodbye would hurt so much.

"I'm so sorry, Peter, but we both know I can't."

Andi didn't wait for him to respond. She simply got up from her spot on the curb and turned to walk away, leaving a heartbroken Peter sitting on the sidewalk. To watch her walk away knowing tomorrow she would no longer be his to hold, kiss, and love was the one loss Peter hadn't at all been ready for.