Word count:
Type: angst/ fluff
Warning: mentions of ptsd, blood
Reader + Bucky Barnes

A knock on your bedroom door startled you and you hurried over and opened the door.

      There standing in front of you was the burly man who you were deeply in love with.

      Well of course he didn't know that and honestly you didn't know how it happened. Bucky was very handsome and he looked so intimidating, yet he was the sweetest person you had ever met.

       His soft little touches through out the days and the smile lines against his cheeks told you already the type of person he was.

However tonight the lines on his forehead were more prominent, as was his eye bags. Sweat glossed over his skin and he was shaking.

You immediately knew what was wrong, he had another nightmare. You open the door wider and he walks in and thanks you softly. Your hand pressed against his lower back softly and you both sat on the edge of the bed.

"Do you wanna talk about it Buck?"

His grunt in response was enough to tell you tonight wasn't going to be a very vocal night, it must've been bad. You shuffled up the bed and pulled the blankets up and gestured for him to lay down.

His eyes softened and he laid down with you, his body was hugging yours tightly and your hands held him against you. His head rested on your chest and he listened to your heart beat as your hands ran through his hair.

The room had a comfortable silence and your eyes closed. Right as your about to drift into sleep he speaks.

"The nightmare..."

he took a pause and continued.

"It was different tonight, it was just more real. It was worse, I killed someone but it wasn't a flashback. It wasn't the screams of victims. it wasn't something i've already done, it's something i'm deeply afraid I will do."

Bucky sat up and ran his hand through his disheveled hair. His voice was strained as if he has been crying and screaming for hours.

"Bucky look at me. You're completely free of their control, you're out of their grasp. You've been healing, guilt always comes with grief and those are a package deal with healing. Whatever happened in your dream won't happen, don't convince yourself of false realities where you're the monster."

"I'm scared."

You glanced up at the man, his eyes stared at you with a emotion that you quite didn't understand. You adjusted your body and sat right in front of him, your legs tucked underneath you. Your hands rested on his cheeks and you brushed your thumb over the facial hair.

A soft smile made its way on your face and you mentally scolded yourself for letting a single tear fall from your eyes and make it's way onto your cheek.

Bucky lifted his hand and softly wiped the tear away, then he planted his forehead on yours and closed his eyes.

"In the nightmare, I hurt you."

"James..."

"I know that I would never hurt you, I care too much about you to do it. But i'm so fucking scared of losing control. All my days are spent worrying if they'll catch me, what if Shuri didn't fix my head. I can't lose you too."

Your nose brushed against his and your stared into his eyes.

"I'm here and I always will be. Shuri helped but you have to heal yourself. You are safe and you're doing so so good."

You leaned in and your lips grazed his and you spoke again with his soft lifts hovering over yours.

"I'm sorry but you're stuck with me James and absolutely nothing can change that."

He stared into your eyes and then leaned in for another kiss. His lips were softer than you had ever imagined, He smelled like peppermint and you were loving it.