(Slight Whirl x Reader)

"This, my friends, is the good stuff." Whirl said in a drunken tone. "That's because it's subspace filtered. It starts life on Luna 1 as ordinary Engex, but subspace travel unlocks all the hidden flavors." Swerve informed. "I love it so much it's making me sad." Whirl stated. "Oh, yeah? I love it so much that it makes me want to die and get revived once again just to relive it." I said, my words slurring. "Yeah, shame the subspace hatch isn't any bigger; I'd have asked Cerebros to send it over in vats, not bottles. Speaking of which, did anyone bring the other crates inside...?" Swerve asked.

If I wasn't slightly under the influence, I'd remind you that 'Under section two point bore of the spoilsport act, subspace hatches must only be used to relocate essential equipment and medical supplies.' And that is my Ultra Magnus impression. It's a work in progress." Nautica impersonated.

"Me an' Mags are like this at the moment; I made him a compilation of Earth Music. All the Crooners." Swerve stated, crossing his fingers. "Still, if he discovers you've been importing contraband Engex and having Lock-Ins..." Nautica trailed off. "Ah, he's too busy preparing for the big sleep. He's not gonna bother us." Swerve said with the upmost assurance.

That's when knocking came from the bar's entrance. "It's him! Run! No! Hide! No! Run and hide!" Swerve shouted in a panic, and the rest of us quickly getting up. And I accidentally summoned a Gaster Blaster and made it fire.

"I'll deal with this. I feel like I'm responsible." Whirl said, walking over to the doors. "For the Lock-In?" Swerve asked. "The Lock-In and pretty much everything that's happened in the last four million years. Note to self: Don't beat up prisoners." Whirl said, muttering the last part to himself.

Me, Nautica and Swerve started cleaning up the place when an announcement came over the P.A. system. "Hibernation in T-Minus 15 minutes. All crewmembers are to proceed immediately to the observation deck, where they will find a B.E.D. *Biometric Envelopment Device*" It announced. "Y/n? Nautica? Swerve?" Whirl called out, coming back.

"...Please tell me this isn't what I think it is. Because if it is, I don't think my face can do this turn of events justice." Whirl said, holding two things up.

"It's two protoform!" Swerve exclaimed with a smile. "Two what now?" I asked. "Are you sure?" Nautica asked, unsure about it. "Er- I think I know a newly minted Cybertronian when I see one." Swerve stated. "So, basically... those are fucking newborn Cybertronian babies, is what I'm hearing." I stated, my eye and empty eye socket widening. "I thought protoforms were conical." Nautica said. "No, no; all shapes and sizes." Swerve said, taking the ba- I mean protoforms from Whirl.

"She and he are warm, but then they would be the sentio metallico – the birth metal – doesn't cool down 'til it's found its final shape. They're at a very delicate stage of the process. Give it a few minutes – let the deep-coding do its work – and we should see a face. A few hours and might even be able to guess an alt-mode." Swerve informed, cradling her close.

"They were in one of the crates." Whirl said. "Which means they were sent here. But why? What are we supposed to do with them?" Nautica asked. "It's a message from Primus. He's telling us to put them both back in the crate until someone more responsible comes along." Whirl stated. "We can't just leave them! If they're not hibernating when we enter mauler space, they'll give away our location!" Nautica retorted.

"Okay, fine; we'll send them back to Luna 1. Where's the subspace hatch?" Whirl asked, taking one of the protoforms and I took the other. "It was in the medibay. But Magnus thought it was insecure, so he moved it." Swerve informed. "Okay, so where is it now?" I asked.

(Time-skip)

What do you mean it's locked?!" Swerve asked as we stood outside of Ultra Magnus' door.

"Why are you surprised? Magnus locks everything. He locks his own mouth when he isn't speaking." Whirl stated. "Hang on. I might be able to use my wrench to get us inside..." Nautica said, her wrench already in her hands. "Do it." Whirl ordered.

I was about to suggest something else, but she already broke the glass.

"Wasn't quite the method of entry I was expecting..." Whirl said. "I was gonna point out that I can just short-cut my way in, and unlock the door that way, but okay." I said. "You can use your cockpit glass to fix the door. Y/n, you can use one of your Gaster Blasters to wield the glass together. Go on. I'll hold the little 'un's." Nautica said. "Be careful with her. If she wriggles, stroke her from top to bottom; calms her down." Whirl informed. "Oh, and when Indigoberry does that, you have to hum Here Comes A Thought from Steven Universe to him. Don't question it; it works for some reason." I added. "Indigoberry?" Nautica questioned. "A reference to an old friend in my past life. His name was Blueberry, Blue for short. And I named the other one Violetscar." I stated in a deadpanned tone. "Man, that is one very well-secured subspace hatch." Swerve muttered.

"Whirl... Y/n..." Nautica called out. "We know, we know! 'Write the letters backwards to they're readable when the door's closed.'" Whirl said, pulling out a writing utensil. "No, no; look at this. They're making a face..." Nautica informed. "Wait, what?! Let me see!" I said, short-cutting to look over her shoulder, and she was right.

"Quiet! Can you hear that? Someone's crooning." Swerve informed. He was right, someone's singing a Christmas song, and it was Ultra Magnus, or Minimus Ambus.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year... There'll be much mistletoe-ing and hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near...!" He sang, walking down the hall.

"Nautica! Swerve! Y/n! Whirl! I thought I had the ship to myself...! What I mean is, you should all be on the observation deck, getting ready for hibernation." Minimus said, spotting us.

"Wait a minute, what's going on here? You're all being stiff, awkward and humorless. I approve." Minimus said, leaning close to Swerve's face. "We've been carrying out a last-minute security sweep. Consider this area, um, swept. Andy Williams sings Christmas, thought. Belter of an album." Swerve nervously said, trying to change the subject. "Observation deck. Now." Minimus demanded.

"If so much as one spark is detected, we're done f- Excuse me. I have to take this How many times, Rewind? Each B.E.D. hides a single spark. Squeeze two bodies in there – two sparks – and one will be detected. Which means we all get detected. Which means we all get killed." Minimus said over the comm-link frequency as he walked into his office.

"Can't believe we got away with that. Who's got the color twins?" Whirl asked, referencing the two protoforms. "Um... I may have hidden them in Magnus's office." Nautica hesitantly said. "What?! Where?!"  Whirl asked. I grabbed Nautica by the shoulders and started violently shaking her. "Where did you hide them?!" I angrily asked.

That's when we heard Minimus scream in fright. "My armor! It's come to life!" He shouted.

That's when Nautica knocked him out with her wrench from behind. "WHAT THE HELL?!" Swerve asked in shock. "He was panicking! He made me panic!" Nautica reasoned. "Are we sure I didn't just do that? Because that's the type of thing I would do." Whirl questioned. "You even knocked his tiny moustache off! Goddamn!" I exclaimed, picking it off the floor. "I'm sorry!" She apologized.

"Er, guys...? We've lost him. Her. Them. We've lost two protoforms in a battle-suit!" Swerve informed as he began to pull Minimus' almost unconscious body. "I'll get Minimus to his B.E.D. You three retrieve the protoforms-" "Indigoberry and Violetscar!" I corrected. "Whatever! Primus knows how the both of them are about to pilot that thing together." Swerve continued. "And then what?" Nautica asked as Minimus weakly continues to sing It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. "I dunno! But look on the bright side... it can't get any worse." Swerve said.

(Time-skip)

"For the love of Asgore... where the fuck are they?!" I asked, the feeling or fear and worry pulsing and fueling me to continue searching. That's when the P.A. System came on. "-You think you're doing, Ultra Magnus, but I've never given anyone a hug in my life." Megatron's voice said over the system. "Found them." Whirl said. "This is your final warning! You're a solitary individual and you get lonely – I can empathize – but now is not the time!" Megatron exclaimed.

We rushed over to the Command Center and pulled the Magnus armor that was being controlled by the twins away from a curled up Megatron. "I am so sorry. He had a weak Energon Spritzer to calm his nerves and it's made him very... affectionate." Nautica said. "Look on the bright side: If you can endure that without surrendering to your murderous impulses, you know you're a changed character." Whirl cheerfully stated. "I guess you can stay that this is the most wonderful time of the year." I added. "All of you! Get-to-your-B.E.D.'s-Now!" Megatron demanded.

(Time-skip)

"You know there's one thing I don't understand. If the little 'un's arrived in a crate of Engex... who knocked on the door?" Nautica brought up as she went into her B.E.D. "A question to ponder in your dreams." Whirl stated. "I feel bad leaving you two holding the babies. Mainly Whirl." Nautica said. "Don't worry about it." I said, waving my free hand. "What you are you going to do? Each B.E.D. can only hide on spark, and there are no spare B.E.D.'s..." Nautica questioned. "As Y/n said; don't worry about it." Whirl said.

(Time-skip)

"I don't know about you, but I kinda feel bad about doing this. And this is the first time I felt something like this after my head incident." I said. "Well, look at it this way. It's either them or the crew. If it helps, this makes me feel... Well. It makes me feel, full stop." He said to me before talking to Violetscar. "But at least we're teaching you two some life lessons. Don't rely on anybody except each other. The universe is an unforgiving place. What's that Earth saying...? Something about nature being red in tooth and... claw?" He said looking down at Violetscar, and saw that she had his claws and one eye, and the eye was the same color as mine.

I looked down at Indigoberry to see that he had two eyes, the one on the right was the same as my red one, and the other was the same shade of yellow of Whirl's. And what shocks me is that he has four arms instead of two. The two on the top has normal looking hands while the ones at the bottom were Whirl's claws.

Me and Whirl looked at the protoforms, then each other, then the protoforms, then each other, then the protoforms again. Whirl sighed. "Sod it." He muttered.

(Time-skip and 3rd pov brought to you by Y/n killing Getaway)

As the Lost Light flies over mauler territory, it shows that Whirl and Y/n had shut off their sparks, each of them having one of the protoforms with them. Whirl had Violetscar sleeping in his cockpit, without the glass. And Y/n had Indigoberry sleeping in his head, the protoform's closed eyes glowing in his empty eye socket.

(Time-skip and Y/n's pov)

I was woken up by the sound of Whirl's shouting. "Where are they?! What have you done with Vio and Indi?!" Whirl asked in a panicked tone. I jolted up in the medical berth. "What?!" I exclaimed, reaching inside my head through the hole and empty eye socket, where I last put Indigo. "Don't worry, Violetscar and Indigoberry are safe, or rather they're safe. Safely contained. I'm afraid you've been nursemaiding Violetscar, who was actually an infestation of Scraplets. Indigoberry was just a normal protoform." Velocity informed. "As in tiny killer microbots?" Whirl questioned. "They're tiny, all right; except when they combine to see of a threat. And in their combined form – one body, one spark – they can change shape." Velocity explained.

"I'm sorry, Whirl and Y/n. After I came out of hibernation I went to Velocity and confessed everything. I'm not a natural-born lawbreaker." Nautica informed as she walked in and gave me Indigoberry. "When she mentioned the knock on Swerve's door, we looked at the CCTV footage, and everything became clear. We think the Scraplets hid inside a crate of Engex. After becoming disoriented in subspace, they assumed a shape that was unlikely to provoke attack; A newborn Cybertronian." Velocity added, showing us the footage of Violetscar, or rather the group of Scraplets, in the form of an arm, knocking on the door.

"I can't work out how we managed to hide form the maulers when you were sharing a pod with the scarplets, and you with the protoform. One pod, two sparks..." Nautica trailed off. "One. I shut myself down; deprived my spark of energy. Had to give Y/n a quick lesson on how to do so." Whirl informed. "Soft termination. You two are lucky we found you both in time." Velocity stated.

"So, to summarize... A swarm of sentient pathogens manipulated me, and possibly Y/n, into putting my life at risk by feigning kinship and mining a threadbare seam of compassion that I like to pretend doesn't exist. And they did all that just so they could live to kill again." Whirl quickly summarized. "I'm sorry." Nautica apologized. "Are you kidding?" I questioned as I walked over to where Whirl was, kneeling behind him with Indigoberry still in my arms..

"We're proud of them." Me and Whirl said, with Whirl placing a tip of his claw against the glass and a small swarm of the Scraplets formed a claw tip, placing it against in the same spot with the glass separating their contact.