I am being shoved out of what was once my home. I don't feel ok here.
Gypsy tries her damned hardest to make me happy like when I first had her. I feel horrible for what is happening to me and her.
Now about a month ago maybe more I had accendently stopped for a small period taking my medications.
I tried putting myself back on them ad soon as I noticed I missed a few days.
Though there was a problem, I was just jumping up in dosage size cause the last ones were breaking their hold on me. And so I guess that and missing them for a few days my brain became clear and took back over. Now I don't want to take them.

"Missing doses of venlafaxine may increase your risk for relapse in your symptoms. Stopping venlafaxine abruptly may result in one or more of the following withdrawal symptoms: irritability, nausea, feeling dizzy, vomiting, nightmares, headache, and/or paresthesias (prickling, tingling sensation on the skin)."

All of this has and is happening to me at this moment. Everyone wants me back on the medication because it truly did hell when it had that hold on me.

I still don't know, I promised I would try my damned hardest to go back on it if my one friend stayed. (Anther story). Well now he is gonna take advantage of that and he wants me back on them. Everyone does. But I'm truly scared.....

Way before I started these medications I was extremely creative.
I know there are amazing people out there that are driven by their mental problems and they make the most of beautiful of things.
I don't know why, but for the few months I was on the medication I didn't want to draw, or write, or nothing.

That makes a problem for this book. This book was written before the meds. Towards the end was the Itty bitty parts I had written as chapter starters to update and expand when it would be time to publish them. You can see when I started my medications, when the chapters stopped being good and detailless.

Guys do you want me to try forcing writing on my meds.
Do you want me to take on some help?
Are you guys still interested?
Do you want to see what I wrote during the time before medications, and then most recently off of them?
What do you guys think I should do?

If you volunteer to help write the story I will only accept 2 people in my timezone USA EST.
You have to deal with me being picky.
Skype
Free time
Examples of writing.
Must be ok with my mental status and side effects of everything and it all constantly changing.

Thanks guys. And I am truly sorry this happened.