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Chapter Nineteen

Walking back into the estate, Lady Sarah was waiting for Lucas in her parlor.     “How is she?” she asked him.

“She is upset, guilt is consuming her but most of all, she is stubborn,” Lucas replied back.

“Stubborn?” Sarah replied questionably.

“Yes, stubborn.    I offered to marry her Sarah, I still love her, I will love her child as my own, but she still said no,” said Lucas with shimmer in his eyes.

Lady Sarah nodded to him…..”I understand why she declined Lucas, if she has a son, you cannot name him your heir.   People will talk, the child and Clarissa will both be shamed.    There are no guarantees the child she will have will be a girl.”

“Thank you for your hospitality Lady Sarah, but I must be leaving now.”

“Will you be heading back to London?”

“No………I believe that I will go to my country estate for a while.   It’s only a half day’s ride from here.   Thoughts of being in London without Clarissa is just not appealing to me.”   Lucas told her with a sad look on his face.  “I’m sure that my steward will have plenty for me to look over and disputes to settle at my country home.”

“Very well then, may God go with you Lucas.   Have a safe journey.”

“Lady Sarah, if there is anything that Clarissa ever needs, if she is ill, the child……..anything, please do not hesitate to come find me.”    And with that, Lucas left Glouster and started making his way towards Langley.

A month has gone by and Stephen has still yet gone back to Glouster to ask Clarissa more questions.   He thought about her answers more and more.   Yet, he could not figure them out.   They did not add up, they did not make sense at all.

Lucas was due back from his country estate in a week’s time.  He had received a missive from him a few days ago.   Lord Royce and Lord Jonathon have been keeping Stephen occupied attending more balls and soirees.   Royce and Jonathon both knew about the circumstances regarding Lucas and Clarissa, Stephen could not keep that from them.  He trusted them both, he knew they would never spread gossip among the ton.

Stephen knew that he was putting off seeing Clarissa again, but the time had come, he could not put it off any longer.  He needed more answers and if what he was thinking was correct, she would be in for the shock of her life.

“Lady Sarah……….thank you for letting me back into your home, “ Stephen told Sarah.

“Stephen, you have always been welcome in my home, I merely asked that the next time you come, that you were to act reasonable.    If you cause Clarissa anymore grief like the last time you were here, you will never be welcomed into my home again.   Do I make myself clear?”   Sarah very sweetly replied to Stephen.

“Yes, thank you again,” he said.    “How is she Sarah?   Once again, I’m sorry that I caused her much grief the last time.  I said words out of anger, I regret them.   I need to apologize to her.”

“Clarissa is doing well.    The child is also doing well, she is showing quite a bit now.    Come, if you can behave, she is in the sitting room with her lady’s maid Annie.      They are embroidering garments for when the child comes.”

Before entering the sitting room, Stephen asked if he could have a few moments of privacy with Lady Clarissa.    “Annie, please join me, Clarissa has a visitor,  you and I can get some tea for them,”  Lady Sarah told Annie.

Shutting the door behind her, Lady Sarah left Stephen and Clarissa alone to talk.   

“You are well Clarissa?” Stephen asked her with a bit of strain to his voice, stepping further into the room.

“Yes, thank you Stephen, I am very well.” Clarissa replied softly and never taking her eyes off of her embroidery.

Stephen hated that she wouldn’t look up at him, she was scared of him and that bothered him the most.  Stepping even further into the room, kneeling down in front of Clarissa, he took both of her hands into his……..”Clarissa………….I didn’t mean what I said to you, I was angry, I was upset.  I vowed to your brother to protect you, to secure a good marriage for you.  I feel as though I failed you, that I failed Mark.   Please forgive me?”

“I forgive you Stephen, I know that I hurt you too, but what’s done is done and I cannot go back and change things.  I will have my child, raise him with all the love and tenderness that a Mother can give.  He may not have a Father or a title, but he will inherit my estate one day, he will not be landless.”

“Clarissa……….please………..just please answer me truthfully, what you say does not make sense, how could you not know who the father is?  I know there is something more that you are not telling me.   Please Clarissa………I beg of you, please tell me!” Stephen protested.

“I will tell you more Stephen if you promise me not to get angry or upset.   Please Stephen, promise me on Mark’s grave.”

“I promise on Mark’s grave,” he replied without hesitation.

“Very well then,” Clarissa bit her bottom lip, trying to figure out a way to tell Stephen, even though she knew that he just promised not to get angry, she knew that once she told him, that he would be disappointed in her.   “I attended your party that night Stephen, I met a gentleman and we made love.”

Standing up, not believing what he heard, shaking his head………….”No……..you couldn’t of?  I forbade you to go!   I did not see you there………..you are covering for him…………I want the truth Clarissa!” Stephen started to get louder as he expressed himself more.

“I just gave you the truth Stephen, that is why I do not know who the Father is, it was dark, we did not exchange names, I do not even know what he looks like,” she whispered.

“MY GOD…………I cannot believe this.   You are positive……. you are absolutely positive that you are telling me the truth Clarissa!!!” Stephen asked her with his fists clenched at his side.

“Yes Stephen, I am telling you the truth.   I entered your home through the back service entrance and I left that way as well.   I had on a costume, I made sure that you would not recognize me.   I’m sorry once again, I knew that you forbade me to attend, but I wanted to see for myself want went on.”

“You wore a costume to the party?  Which costume Clarissa…..tell me………which costume?

“Why?  Is it important which costume I wore?    I went as Aphrodite!”

Stephen could not believe his ears, she went as Aphrodite………..MY GOD………she was carrying Lucas’s child.  Lucas…………..he has to know immediately!!!!

“Clarissa sweetheart…………….I have to leave, but I will be back.   I need to take care of something in London, but hopefully I will be back within a couple of weeks.    Please……….take care of yourself and your child.”

“But Stephen…………you just got here?  Surely whatever you need to take of London cannot wait a day.   Stay and at least have supper with the children, Sarah and I.   You can leave on the morrow.”

Thinking back to Lucas’s missive, he wouldn’t be back into London for another few more days.  Stephen could rest for the night and leave after breakfast the next day as Lady Clarissa suggested.

During the ride back to London, Stephen had plenty of time to think.  It all made sense now.   Thinking back to that morning after the party and Lucas demanding to know who was on my guest list.     He mentioned that she had an aura of innocence that she had never been to one of his parties before.   That would definitely explain Lady Clarissa actions and her innocence.

My God……..he still could not believe it.    Clarissa was the woman that Lucas was looking for.   Now there was nothing stopping them from being together.    He was still furious at her for attending his party, but under the circumstances, he would have to let that go.  

He rode hard back to London, hoping that Lucas was going to back soon or perhaps already back from his country estate.   He decided that he wasn’t going to tell Lucas anything, that he would point the two of them in the right direction and let them figure it out on their own.

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Whoo....hoo.........so Stephen knows now...........what do you think of his idea to let the two of them figure it out on their own??   I kind of like it!!!     

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S   xo