2 whole weeks later...

~Stevens pov~

So much stuff has happened over the past 2 weeks each and every day it feels like it's getting harder and harder to the point where I feel like I wanna give up

It feels like darkness is trying to cosume me... I wish I could get rid of the pain within me ive tried to cut myself but then again what's the point? It gets rid of the pain momentarily but the self doubt and pain doesn't go away permanently.. it only numbs the pain... The pain doesn't go away entirely only for a short period of time... So why waste my breath? Everything is pointless...

I've tried everything that I can possibly think of... But nothing seems to work.. I truly give up... I've tried talking to some new friends I met they were really nice and tried giving me some advice that I could suggest... I tell you what happened

*Flash back from two days ago* 

I was going over to the cafe inside the small cafe was a jukebox and some fancy curtains the flooring was very nice the tiles were white and black like a checkerboard and there was a mini salad bar and a regular bar.. And it had like only 3 tables and 2 booths  I pulled up a stool and sat at the regular bar I was looking at the menu and out of the corner of my eye I saw four dudes sitting at one of the booths I decided to go over there and chat with them.. 

I said "hi how you guys doing today?" and one of them looked at me and replied back "fine thanks for asking me and my buddies were just chatting"

And then I said "Oh uh sorry to disturb your conversation" and they all were being generous and polite and they all said  " nah man it's cool if ya want you can join us" I was very delighted and grateful I said "thanks dudes I appreciate your offer."  So I sat with them in the booth there was two African looking dudes And two white Caucasian dudes.. I introduced myself of course I said "The names Steven universe what's your names?" I asked and they responded 

The white dude with the blonde hair said his name was "Thomas Baskerville"

The black dude said his name was "Johnathan Smith" the other black dude was named  "Jason bronzeman"  and the other white dudes name was "Samuel Lockhart" they were in a secret group too! This reminds me of when i got Pearl and amethyst and me all together and formed a "secret team" it brought back a bit of nostalgia.... anyways they were in a secret group club and they had their own meeting spot and passwords and stuff... They explained to me 

"No one is allow to know about it because it's a secret it's important to keep a low profile at all times.. So that way it stays a secret cause we don't want word to get out to people.. Sometimes we invite of few people not many not a whole bunch but a few people... Our group club is very special to us we like to hang out there and we enjoy each other's company.. We were thinking about inviting

You into our secret group club! But first you gotta pass the test it's very simple actually... First tell us a bit about yourself" I rubbed the back of my neck 

"This is very personal to me but I don't mind sharing I guess Soo you guys might think I'm insane.. This is gonna be a super lllooooonnnnggggggg story"

Jack was all like "you gotta fill us on the details man" and Thomas was like "yeah dude" 

So I told them quite a lot about my past history.. I told them I was 14 years old 

And that I'm a half human half gem at first they didn't believe me I told them it was true and showed them my belly button. They looked at me in awe

Johnathan was like "are you sure that's not a belly button piercing" I told him "I was perfectly 100% sure" I told them I could summon weapons  and that it glows. They looked amazed and their eyes glued to my gem..

Samuel was like "okay so let me get this straight you have a magical rock inside your belly"

And I was like "yep pretty much" so then I told them about my three guardians and how they have abuse me over the years physically mentally and emotionally and all the trauma ive been through I told them how I use to be a young and ignorant blind and naive child how I wanted to be like my mother rose quartz then later on I found out that my guardians were lying and keeping secrets behind my back and then I learned about the diamond authority there are 4 diamonds the diamonds are like these giant matriarchs and they ruled over homeworld and entire alien planet... An entire gem species and  my mother rose quartz started the gem war and she was faking her identity the whole time! She wasn't we even a REAL rose quartz.. rose quartz doesnt exist

I thought my mom shattered pink diamond but the truth was that she WAS pink diamond everything I ever believe in was a lie.. My entire life was a lie rose quartz was a fabrication it turns out my mom was actually pink diamond...

Everyone was shocked angry and upset and they tried to comfort me...

Thomas: so let me get this straight your mom had a earth as a colony she could have tried multiple options yet she chooses to risk gem and human lives and start an unnecessary war and in the result she causes large amount of unforgivable damage by breaking her sister diamonds hearts and her comrades heart and almost tried to destroy the earth and then pretty much rebelled against her own self... And then she gives birth to you just so you could deal with the weight of her burdens... What kind of sick person would do all of that!?

Samuel: that's just fucked up! And then she acts like it's no big deal that she could cover her tracks and cover everything else up and try to live a normal life

She pretty much trashed her reputation and ran away like a coward... She is supposed to be royalty yet she acts like a little kid.. like who does that!?

Jack: she is definitely NOT a diamond cuz she sure doesn't act like it! She acts like a kid I agree with ya Sam I feel bad for ya ste-bo!

Steven: story of my life...  I said my eyes now downcast they tried to comfort me more and tried their best to cheer me up I gave them a smile and they all smiled in return

I sighed and decided to continue my story and they listened I told them about my depression and how I ran away from my former home in beach city

Some of them even shed some tears I shedded some too! 

Jack: Hey ste-bo do you have any place to stay?

I replied "well no for the past 4 months I've been living life out on the streets but I do live in an abandoned hotel for shelter I'm surprised the place is still intact it makes me wonder why the building hasn't been condemned yet..."

Jack: you can join are club if you want too!

And I said I would absolutely be honored to be a part of their secret group club

Samuel: we have secret group club meetings on Fridays and Wednesdays and we all have membership cards your gonna need one too!! Remember to keep quiet and low key profile... You can't allow strangers! Unless otherwise!  

Also don't forget the password! Here I'll write it down hey uh Thomas can you hand me a pen and paper! 

Thomas: sure thing!

*Hands over a notepad and pen to samuel*

The password is fuck your chicken nuggets

Me: wait what's the membership card supposed to be?

Johnathan: Do you really wanna know?

Me: yeah

Johnathan: printed 3-D copies of my dad's drivers license 

I started laughing like there was no tommorow!  The others were laughing too!!! But we had to keep our voices down 

Flash back ends

Man that was the best night ever! I met 4 new friends!  

And guess what I was also thinking about getting a job

Thomas said there is a comic book store that his dad owns and that I could apply for a job there and I could sell comic books! I make $12 bucks an hour !

So now I work at a local comic book store and I got me some money and bought me new clothes a white shirt and red ripped jeans and grey Jordans!

Oh and a grey leather bomber jacket!

My ripped jeans were made by Gucci the pants were really expensive at stores but i looked for a cheaper price online! 

The pants in the store was like a $300 bucks but I got them online for $120 bucks I work 5 hours every day 12 times 5 60. And then 12 times 5 is another 60

That's how I was able to buy the pants...  

I feel like i was about to give up hope but I feel like there's still a tiny bit of Hope in me to keep fighting every day  and with the help of some of my new friends I'm sure to find a way! 

I'm trying as hard as I possibly can to fight off the negativity and darkness in me!