~Stevens pov~

I'm currently playing Minecraft on my phone and I'm checking out the latest mods... They have cool weapons and stuff for those of you who have never played Minecraft before... Minecraft is basically a survival game.. it's not like call if duty or GTA I mean you don't have to have weapons if you don't want to

In Minecraft everything is made out of blocks... It's basically a blocky universe..

And my avatar is name Steve and my weapon of choice is a diamond sword

Also it is night time in the virtual world and I'm currently trying to fight off a mob of zombies and for protection I'm wearing diamond armour I have shoulder pads and chest plates and a helmet all made of diamonds...

I guess you could say a diamond for a diamond aye! Get it cause my mother was a diamond and I'm a half diamond hybrid.. pun intended by the way

*Puts up finger guns and wiggling my eyebrows* 😏

(Actually I was inspired by my friend @KingMythLord 's drawing

Of Steven and if you look in his art depository the title of his page is

Called diamonds for a diamond... At least you guys know where I got the

Pun from 😉 anyways back to the story!)

~Back to Stevens pov~

Anyways I've been thinking quite a lot lately.. Ive been trying to enjoy my game but during these past few hours I couldn't stop thinking about stuff I have so much stuff on my mind and it's been driving me insane.. *sighs*

In a sense I feel like a coward for running away I mean I guess it runs in the family... My mom thought it was cool to just up and leave too... She thought running away from her responsibilities as a diamond and causing a war was a great idea.. I mean what kind of a person would do that!? OH I KNOW SHE WOULD! *Sighs* And running away from my problems isn't really a smart idea either.. But can you blame me though? I mean I spent a lot of time helping people with their problems that I never had the chance to cope with my own!

I've been suffering day in and day out for the last 4 months... Even when I was still living in beach city I was suffering... But I was suffering on the insides on the outsides I was masking my true emotions because I didn't want anyone to worry... I'm different because unlike my mother I'm not a selfish person! I always put others first before myself!! I have my mother's shield.. there's a reason why! Because I'm suppose to be a crystal gem and protect everyone from harm's way!!! I love helping people but I need to start focusing on myself

I can't keep living on like this forever... I have to worry about my future.. Heh

Now that I think about it this takes me back down Memory Lane... I remember

When I first learned about garnets future vision... she said something I'll never forget...

~fast forwards and the flashback plays~

It was raining and thunder storming outside and I was on top of the

Roof and I heard the warp pad go off and garnet busted out the door

Garnet: "Steven get off the roof!!!"

Younger Me: "No if something is going to happen to me just let it happen."

Garnet: "Steven you don't understand!"

Younger Me: "No! You don't understand!! Everything that I do shoves me finally towards the end! The more that I know the more that I don't know!!! I can't live like this!!! Why did you tell me about future vision?! What's going to happen to me on the roof?!"

Garnets visor glistened in the rain.. Garnet just stood there like a statue

She was trying to process everything she heard...  All she could mutter was one simple word.

Garnet: "This."

Younger Me: *confused*  "What?"

Garnet: "I knew you would do this if I told you about my power.... I saw this and I told you anyway..."

Younger Me: *stunned*  "Why?"

Garnet: "I took a risk at your expense there was a chance you'd understand so we would be closer."

Garnet finally took off her visor and she looked at me with all three of her eyesI could finally tell how she was feeling. With her visor on all the time I couldn't understand how she was feeling but when she takes it off I could actually see and tell how she was feeling....

Garnet: "Steven I see so many things that can hurt you. I shouldn't have let one of them be me."

I was shocked to say the least but garnet went on...

Garnet: "There are millions of possibilities for the future. But it's up to you to choose which one becomes reality."

That key word in the sentence was become.

Garnet: "Please understand YOU choose your OWN future!"

~Flash back ends~

She said I have to choose my OWN future.. Nobody can tell me what to do.. Nobody can live my life for me!!! Only I can!! I have to make a choice! I have to make a option! Nobody can decide for me!! Whatever I decide I have to stick to THAT decision! 

Like I said before I feel like I am carrying a 600 pound dead weight on my shoulders and that is difficult for a young man my age I mean c'mon for crying out loud I'm only fourteen!!! I shouldn't have to worry about all this..

Usually a young man my age is going through adolescence phases and hitting Puberty and going to school!!! No one understands what I have to go through

I'm not a normal or adverage boy *Ahem* I mean "large man"  gosh dang it!

Anyways as I was saying no one understands the stuff I have to go through and put up with.. I have to deal with not having a mother.. I have seen a friend and brother of mine die in my arms... I have seen my father get abducted by a giant and tooken to a human zoo in space.. and to top it off having to stress and worry about space aliens and their galactic home world  overlords chase after my ass!!! 

It's not easy you may think having a magical destiny is cool but it's really not it's a real pain in the ass!!! And having all these thoughts running in my head really doesn't help... It only makes matters worse!!!

*Sighs*  Even though I have suffered a lot of pain I still remember some of the good times I had with the gems and I sorta miss them... Because everyone makes mistakes and regardless of all the mistakes they made and the lies and secrets they kept hidden from me I still love em and they'll always be my family and they will always have a place in my heart 💓 !! 

Every family is dysfunctional! Every family has there flaws!! You just have to learn to accept family for what it is sometimes!!!

The more I think about them and the good times we had share with one another it brings back all those moments and I will always cherish these memories with all of my heart and soul!!! And it also brings back nostalgia!

I remember when I first got my cheeseburger backpack.. Jamie had handed the package to me and we were chatting and then I heard the warp pad go off

And stars were in my eyes I gasped excitedly!! 

Younger Me: Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are back!

I was running up the stairs of the beach house/ Temple and I think I heard Jamie behind me saying something like

Jamie the mailman: "hey Steven what is a wacky sack?"

I burst open the door and I found the gems covered in feathers 

And amethyst was holding a giant egg and stuffing the egg in the fridgerator.

And then Pearl said they fought a giant bird etc... etc... Anyways she was talking about my heritage and the importance of gem culture and something

About going back out for another save-the-world-and-all-of-humanity mission.

She said they were gonna go to the "lunar sea spire" she said it use to be a Oasis for gems on earth but it was abandoned... And she said that it could be saved with the "Moon Goddess statue"

Man good times... I miss peridot too!!! And pumpkin!! I mean c'mon how can we possibly forget pumpkin! I remember the good times me lapis peridot pumpkin and everybody else had together... I remember meeting Uncle Andy 

And how we all had Thanksgiving together at the barn...

Speaking of "lapis and the barn" *sighs* I thought she was kinda selfish when she abandoned peridot and left her homeless.. I mean seriously did she had to take the barn with her to space!? But I understand where she was coming from

She was terrified of being caught by the diamonds and being "caught up in another war" I though she was floating aimlessly somewhere in space until Ronaldo woke me up and told me to look in the telescope... Suddenly I saw the barn on the moon so I went to go investigate only to find out that lapis was hiding out on the moon the entire time!!!

I forgive lapis I just wish she come back to earth... Peridot misses her and pumpkin and as do i... At least she's safe...

I did some good times with garnet I remember how I 

"Steven bombed" her and landed on to her hair... And I remember all of the times she would call me her little pet name "cutie pie" 

I remember how Pearl was always overprotective of me and she would call me her "baby" 

And I miss amethyst she was like a sister to me... I remember how we became a duo and how tiger millionaire and purple puma won the tag team belt and how the good looking hang helped us claimed that ladder to reached the belt

Man those were some of the best moments of my life!!! I missed them dearly!

But then again they probably don't even miss me and probably forgotten about me... *Tears up*  *hunches over and sobbs and buries my face into my knees*

I hate having these thoughts in my head... Maybe I should listen to music to cheer me up.. I want to listen to imagine dragons right now

Looks up spotify.com and login in to my username then I play the song 

"Whatever it takes" by imagine dragons

Falling to fast to prepare for this.

Tripping in the world could be dangerous!

Everybody circling is vulturous. 

NEGATIVE, NEPOTIST!!

Everybody waiting for the fall of man!

At this point I was bopping my head I pulled out my guitar

And picked at the strings and moving my body to the sound of

The music...

OOF- wow 1777 words okay that ends the chapter right there man I'm on fire today!!!