{4}

He pisses Kageyama off. Who is he?

He is an orange haired man who always uses the coffee shop's bathroom.

He is a man that never buys anything.

One day, after having spent a month watching the man enter the bathroom and leave without even acknowledging his presence, Kageyama decides to say something.

"Don't you know that most people enter a coffee shop to buy coffee?" Kageyama asks the man, who is clearly surprised by Kageyama's sudden question.

"I don't drink coffee," the man says, and before Kageyama can speak with him further, the man goes into the bathroom. If the bathroom wasn't a single stall bathroom, Kageyama could have followed him and hollered at him, ordering him to leave the bathroom at once. Then again, he could easily do the same thing BEFORE the man goes into the bathroom.

"Good employees never yell" the voice of Kageyama's pervious employer rings within Kageyama's ears. Upon remembering those words, Kageyama is reminded of the fact that he can't afford to lose his job. He can't afford to get caught yelling at the man.

Kageyama doesn't know what he is going to do... He feels that the only way to get the man to stop using the bathroom is to scare him away. How can Kageyama scare him away without yelling? Kageyama ends up becoming so lost in thought that he fails to see the man leave the bathroom.

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Attempt #1: As the man enters the coffee shop for the third time in the same week, Kageyama decides to test his first idea. Recalling the numerous times that his peers (both in past and present) describing his smile as "strange" and "unnerving" Kageyama decides to smile at the man when he enters and leaves the shop. After doing so for a few days straight, Kageyama finally manages to get a response.

"You've got a nice smile," the man says. Upon hearing his words, Kageyama can feel himself become frozen due to shock. His smile his been called many things, but never "nice."

Attempt #2: Kageyama, who has been told that his utterings of "good morning" sound more like threats than greetings, decides to greet the man. Once again, after doing so for a few days straight, he gets a response from the man.

"Good morning to you too," the man says, flashing him a smile.

Attempt #3: Kageyama, who has been told conversations that involve him are boring, decides to engage the man in conversation.

"So do you just use coffee shops for their bathrooms or do you use other businesses for your bodily needs too?" Kageyama asks the man, who laughs loudly at his question.

"Just coffee shops... Specifically, just this coffee shop because it is a convenient stop between my home and my work," the man says, with a faint blush upon his cheeks. Before Kageyama can ask why the man is blushing, the man slips into the bathroom. So far, his various attempts to stop the man from using the bathroom haven't been working...

Attempt #4 Growing frustrated with each passing day, Kageyama, suddenly shouts, "IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE THE BATHROOM AT LEAST BUY SOMETHING!" Much to his surprise, his shouting earns himself a laugh from the man.

"Okay, okay I'll buy something," the man says, surprising Kageyama. HE the man who NEVER buys anything is going to buy something? "B-But..." the man adds, his cheeks now a bright red, "only if y-you go on a d-date with me first."

EXTENDED: "I would l-like a t-tall glass of y-you," Hinata attempts to seductively whisper to Kageyama. The two, which have been dating for three months now, frequently go on dates at the coffee shop that Kageyama works at.

"Idiot we don't serve any of our drinks in glasses," Kageyama whispers back, all the while preparing Hinata's usual order of chai tea. Upon finishing Hinata's order and handing it to him, Kageyama leans over the counter and plants a kiss on Hinata's forehead. Just before Hinata leaves, Kageyama says, "I love you, Bathroom Man." Kageyama's words, makes Hinata's already red face turn a deeper shade of red. He doesn't know which is worse, having the nickname Bathroom Man, or being kinda happy about being called Bathroom Man. Like Hinata, it seems as though Kageyama hasn't forgotten how he met the man of his dreams.

/I was originally gonna use this scenario for an Iwa x Oikawa one shot but I decided to use it for these two dorks instead./