“You gave beauty for my guilty stains,
and now I'm living day to day by His grace.”

***

I was busy scrolling on my Facebook when I saw a post about being baptized.

"Acts 2:38 . . ." I said, we should read Acts 2:38 and countless explanation was written on the post. Ano naman ang kinalaman namin sa Acts 2:38 na 'yan?

"Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. - Acts 2:38"

I do know about repentance, but baptism? I don't have any idea about it. I decided to search about what baptism is, and according to google, baptism is about Christian or believers being baptized in water. It's for the remission of their sins. Like what Peter told in that verse.

Okay, hindi ko pa rin gets.

I decided to turn off my phone since I want to lay down. Ngunit bago ko pa maipikit ang mga mata ko ay bigla itong nag ring. I get my phone back, and I saw Melcanie's name- a party-goer friend of mine. Gabing-gabi tumatawag.

"Hi, Lei, want some fun? Tara bar." Pag-aaya niya sa'kin.

"Su-" I didn't finished what I supposed to say when I remember the verse I read lately. "Pagod ako."

Wow, anong dahilan iyon Lei? Bored na bored ka nga, tapos pagod ka?

"Mawawala iyan pag sumama ka." Pangunginbinsi niya.

"Pagod talaga ako, Melcs, perhaps next time," I muttered.

I imagine her shrugging her shoulder because she can't convince me.

"Okay then." After that, she hung up the call.

Anong nangyayari sa'kin? This is not me, I used to go with them everytime, but what did I do lately? Did I just dump the party? Oh gosh, this is not really me. I just saw that one post and I became like this.

Hihinga na ulit sana ako nang may tumawag na naman.

It's Phoebe- a Christian friend of mine.

"Good evening, Lei, gusto mo bang sumama bukas?" Tanong nito sa'kin.

Anong araw ba bukas?

"Tomorrow is Sunday, Lei. Do you want to go in the place where happiness can be found?" She asked me again.

"Saan?" Tanong ko kahit mukhang alam ko na kung saan ako nito dadalhin bukas.

"Church."

Hindi agad ako nakasagot sakan'ya. I was speechless, I don't know what to say. There's a part of me that want to say, yes, but a part of me also said no.

"Timbangin mo ng maayos ang desisyon mo, Lei," by her genuine voice, I can say that's she's smiling if ever she's in front of me right now.

"I will," I replied.

There's no harm in trying I guess.

***

Maaga akong nagising dahil sa tawag ni Phoebe kanina. Nakabihis na ako, ngayon pa lang ako makakapunta sa simbahan ulit, simula no'ng pinili kong tumalikod sakan'ya. Sa puso ko, gusto kong makilala talaga ang Panginoon, ngunit tila may pumipigil sa'kin na gawin iyon.

Ngayon, nagkaroon ulit ako ng lakas na kilalanin muli siya.

Nang makalabas ako sa bahay agad kong nakita si Phoebe. I saw her, and she's using her new car, sanaol mayaman eh.

"Ang ganda ng kotse mo," saad ko habang namamanghang nakatingin roon.

"All the Glory to God, I wouldn't have this car if it's not because of Him." She smiled genuinely upon saying those words.

Bakit nakakahawa ang mga ngiti niya?

"Tara na?" Pag-aya niya.

Agad akong tumango, pinagbuksan ako ni Phoebe ng pinto sa passenger seat. Doon ako sumakay habang siya naman ay nasa tabi ko, sa driver's seat.

Hindi nagtagal ay nakarating kami sa simbahan.

'Do not fear, Only Believe.'

Iyon ang pinaka-unang katagang mababasa at makikita mo bago pumasok. Phoebe hold my hand, and sat beside me.

After a minutes, they started singing an unfamiliar song, but the lyrics hit me.

I was hopeless
I knew i was lost
Death and Darkenss were my only songs
I needed someone to come to rescue me
And mercy heard my plea

It hit me hard, I was so hopeless . . . lost, and can't even find my way out in this darkness. It feels like everytime when things are too heavy to bear, death and darkness were my only songs. As if they're only the one that rescue me from this hellish world I live in.

Lord, You found me
you healed me
you called me from the grave
you gave me your real love
I thank you Jesus
You washed my sins away
and now I'm living
I got forgiven
You came to set me free
and that's what you mercy did for me

From the chorus of the songs, I felt my tears piling up. In the midst of those darkest days in my life . . . He found and healed me. I chose to take a separate path, away from Him. Still I always comeback in Him, where I found my fortress.

You gave beauty for my guilty stains
and now I'm living day to day by His grace
so excuse me if I can't contain my praise
cuz i know that I've been saved

In the second verse, I sing with them. Indeed, I'm living day to day by His grace. Without His grace, we are nothing in this world full of sins.

Lord, You found me
you healed me
you called me from the grave
you gave me your real love
I thank you jesus
You washed my sins away
and now I'm living
I got forgiven
You came to set me free
and that's what you mercy did for me

Lord, I'm sorry if I turn back from you . . . I'm sorry because I choose to turn away from you when my life turn into chaos.

And every morning mercy will restore me
I will proclaim
and if the world may fall before me
I will proclaim

No matter how great our sins are, your mercy and grace are greater than those. I want to felt your presence again, Lord. Kasi ayaw matatapos ang buhay ko na walang halaga sa'yo.

Lord, You found me
you healed me
you called me from the grave
you gave me your real love
I thank you jesus
You washed my sins away
and now I'm living
I got forgiven
You came to set me free
and that's what you mercy did for me

That's what your mercy did for me

Natapos ang kanta at nakikita ko kung gaano magpuri ang mga tao. Sana dati . . . Sana dati palang nagsimba na ako.

I shouldn't waste my time in this temporary world. I saw a man standing in the pulpit. He's the Pastor.

"Everybody shout Praise the Lord." The Pastor uttered.

People respond with the words "Praise the Lord."

The Pastor called al the first timer to be here in there Church. Hindi ako nagdalawang isip na tumayo, ngunit nang makita ko na mag-isa na lamang ako, parang gusto kong umatras.

Yet I saw Phoebe smiling at me genuinely, she nod at me after. I started walking towards in front.

They all welcome me, and shake their hands with me. After that they prayed for me.

I didn't knew that it was the start of the change in my life. A change that I forever be grateful.

THREE YEARS AFTER

I decided to tell that life changing stories of mine to those kids here in church. I was assigned to be a children teacher here in church. I ended the story with a smile on lips.

He changed my life, God changed me.

And that's what His Mercy did for me.