It had been a week since I watched ep12 (a very, very busy week), and I was back for more punishment. I wasn't going to give up even though things were looking hopeless. Seabound might have a trash plot and trash characters and a trash antagonist and trash lore...

Anyway, I did some thinking over the past week. Ever since the new writers took over, the show's gone downhill. But hold up–Lego rebranded the show once s11 hit. Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitzu is called s1 on the Lego channel for a reason. Ninjago went from "Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu" to just "Ninjago". So by all technicalities, I am correct in saying that from s11 onward, we have been watching a new show.

I've decided to disassociate "Masters of Spinjitzu" (seasons 1-10) from "Ninjago" (seasons 11-15). Masters of Spinjitzu had its flaws, but it was a pretty good show nonetheless. Ninjago is just trash.

Since the characters I've been watching in Ninjago are just shallow imitations of the characters in Masters of Spinjitzu, I thought I'd start off my 'finishing Seabound' spree with renaming the cast.

Let's meet them.

This is John. The others call him "nee nee" for fun because he can be a bit of a crybaby sometimes. He has a violent addiction to video games. He seemingly only cares about his dad. No one knows how he became a Ninja, because he loses every fight he's in.

This is Bentley. Lee for short. He's your typical uwu anime watcher, and he's a huge simp for —. Hobbies include... and he has probably never seen the sun. Is easily emotionally manipulated. In the first grade he fried his brain with his lightning powers so the best idea he could ever suggest is either meaningless or just pure screaming.

Clyde. Is in a 'it's complicated' thing with Vania. Addicted to sugar highs. Only cares about video games and when he's going to down his next soda. Probably hiding a beer belly under his ninja suit. His IQ scored so low that he can barely talk, so he mostly just shows up to the fights and punches whatever the others tell him to. Sometimes acts like a leader, but that's more him imitating what he sees on tv than any stroke of real genius.

... Chad. No, what's the opposite of Chad? Beta. His name is Beta. He is mentally losing it and has memory loss issues. Suggests good ideas half the time, then forgets why they were important and takes them back as soon as his "pupils" complain. If his pupils were smarter, then they'd save up to put Beta in a nursing home.

Zed. Closest one to his original character, but he's been dumbed down for humor. Probably a human who's convinced he's a robot.

Amy. Gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss. Literally the leader of the team, just no one admits it because Unmentionable is there. Is in a relationship with Zed for some reason. He probably stands around, carrying her toolbox while she fashions new vehicles for the Ninja team with the infinite time and money she has.

*too horrible for viewing*

– , or, Unmentionable. Too disgusting to describe. Narcissist manipulator with serious mental issues. Needs therapy. Needs therapy really bad. No one will give it to her because they're too afraid to look at her the wrong way.

Ha, almost forgot this guy. Um... his name can be Stanley. Too forgettable to describe. Headcanon that he's a cardboard cutout that the others take with them.