Dreams were fluid. Timeless.

You could delve deep into you conscious and stay for hours, unmoving, grounded and not have have the slightest familiarity with the world passing outside your eyelids. Or, you could feel like you were trapped inside your own mind for hours, in fleeting nightmares and never ending dreams.

I could stay asleep forever, making up worlds in my mind and living without cause or pain, or living a tragedy over and over, then, if I wanted, wake up for school the next morning.

That's exactly what would happen, if it wasn't for the fear of losing. Losing sight of what I had, losing familiarity with the people around me, losing myself....It was so easy to get wrapped up in someone else's story, someone else's desires and dreams, that you no longer care for your own. So eventually, I woke up.

I wanted to wake up now.

"Percy."

I looked up, staring back at her. Her gaze was steady, sympathetic. I didn't want sympathy, not for this, never for this. I needed her to tell me what was wrong with me and how to fix it, not her sympathy.

"You drifted off." She supplied, I blinked owlishly at her.

"Sorry, Mrs. Lance." I mumbled after a moment. "Lost in thought."

"Do you want to share those?" She inquired, I swallowed.

Did I want to tell her that I felt like my own mind was attacking me? That my greatest weapon told me on a daily basis to stop it all and sleep forever using a more permanent method. That I didn't really no what I felt so on Earth would I tell her.

"Not particularly." She exhaled softly. Something less than a sigh, but never in contempt.

It wasn't anything that I couldn't figure out by myself. They say that talking to others helps, but the only one I trusted to really understand me was myself and a seven year old and that seven year old was on a suicide mission to bring his dead sister back to life and myself and I weren't on speaking terms.

I didn't want to talk at all, I wanted to sleep and stalk others, completely ignoring my own thoughts.

"As the league member required to do psychological evaluations, I would like to know what thoughts you have over the failsafe simulation." She leaned back her chair, staring at me intently. I nearly fidgeted under her gaze.

"What about it?" I mirrored her position. "I find that the only person I care deeply enough for wasn't affected, it's hard to get traumatized when your selfish."

"But you feel responsible." She drawled. I clenched my teeth.

"I feel sorry, to the members of the team, for not being able to save them any further." I sighed shakily, wringing my hands before I remembered that it was a nervous tick and I was showing unnecessary weakness. I clenched my fists as I realized.

"It's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault. That's the nature of an accident, no one meant any harm and no one blames you or M'gann." She leaned forward in her leather chair and I felt myself sinking in mine. "Your allowed to feel responsible, even though you only ever tried to help. But I find that we usually pile everything on ourselves instead of allowing others to suffer."

"Sometimes I don't feel anything, and that scares me, but when you have the powers I do, it's hard not to feel like you should have seen it coming." I didn't meet her gaze.

"Despite what you think, not everything is like what it is in your dreams."

---FLASHBACK---

I had woken from a nightmare, to find that I never left it.

A nightmare where I found myself forgetting that it was a nightmare, the kind that everyone dies and no one has time to mourn. The kind that you feel so utterly hopeless because you can't control your mind, therefore, you cannot stop it from twisting everything you love and turning your own fears against you.

I had woken up, bleary-eyed and cursed with a raw throat, which hadn't happened in a while. Confused was a word I would use to describe it. I was confused, because I don't get nightmares. I control what I see in my sleep, so how on Earth had I gotten a nightmare?

Except, I didn't have a nightmare, because I caught then edge of white fading from the corner of my eye.

A vision, I had had a vision. A vision of death, only death.

I had never gotten up from my bed faster, putting on the usual black cloths and a pair of sunglasses before stalking to the cave and taking a zeta tube to Mount Justice.

I heard the system announce my arrival with a sense of dread. I had never really stuck around long enough to return to the home base, so, in a literal sense, this was my first time here. It just had to be under these circumstances, because I knew what they were going to see, and for a moment I felt what they were going to feel and I couldn't breathe.  

I also hadn't faced the entirety of the League before, only brief glimpses and exchanged words. Most of them didn't even know I existed. That thought alone made me want to turn around and run. But this was more important than my shitty sense of self preservation. This was the team, the team that I watched most nights asleep, watching then grow and argue and fight for their lives and for others lives.

So, being the awesome person that I am, I stepped into the room.

They were already deep under, stone cold and unmoving. I could feel the Martian's death grip on all of their minds, struck out by pure emotion. In other words they were panicking and attempting to wake them all up.

"Her mind is too strong." My voice rang out, causing most of their heads to snap towards me.

"You contacted someone, Batman?" Aquaman growled in more of a disapproving statement then question. "And him?"

"I didn't need to." Batsman responded, gliding over nearer towards me, until he was towering over my head.

I lifted my chin defiantly, staring  at him through the thick black frames. I only had to purse my lips and give a small shake of my head before he understood that this was worse than they thought. He gave a slight nod and moved out of the way, it took that as a signal to proceed accordingly, walking toward them.

"Jesus, how old are you?" Flash questioned, bewildered. He was kneeling near Wally, hand placed on his shoulder. I frowned.

"Not important." I lifted my head toward them. "How long have they been pulled off course?"

Martian Manhunter was the one to answer, J'onn, I reminded myself. Abilities included flying, mind reading and manipulation, invisibility. Uncle to M'gann.

I cocked by head as he answered. "Approximately 4 minutes and 37 seconds."

No immediate action taken, most likely due to ignorance to the severity of the situation. They didn't know what could happen.

"I'm sure you have figured by now that Miss Martians mind far surpasses that of yours, J'onn." His expression didn't change, I swallowed. "The problem with this mostly revolves around the fact that her powers are connected heavily to her emotions."

"Are you saying that this is her fault?" Clark growled, I shook my head slowly.

"No, never. She hasn't discovered the true range of her powers. She saw Artemis die and her mind took control of the simulation."

"It's supposed to be harmless, they don't suffer much trauma because it will never feel real. When she took control it became real. They still try and save the world, but everyone who dies, the entire Justice League disintegrating, the entire Earth resting on their shoulders, they can feel it all."

Everyone in the room went quiet, dead silent. I looked to Batman who just squinted in response. Ok so maybe the dark monologue was too much, too late now.

"The only way to release everyone from the simulation would be to stop Miss Martian from controlling it. Subsequently, that means someone has to kill her inside the simulation." I elaborated.

J'onn tilted his head towards his niece, frown deepening.

I can do it. I spoke on his mind. I feel that it would be insensitive for you to have to kill her, even if it's not real.

He moved his eyes to me. Contemplating. That would be preferred. He answered.

I nodded, clapping my hands.

"Alrighty then, someone do me a favor and grab my body before I hit the ground? Thanks." I reached to place a palm over Miss Martians head.

I felt myself falling as my eyes were enveloped in a field of white.

---FLASHBACK OVER---

I felt myself slowly sinking futher into the chair as we sat in silence. Well, silence as in silence in the air. I was sure both of our minds were working overtime to compensate for lack of better words to speak. Talking was overrated, but necessary. Why was it so hard to find the right words?

"Do you think I'm different?" I said at last, after at least a few minutes of contemplation. She leaded forward in her chair.

"I think-" she began. "if you were someone who was different, then your certainly in the right place."

"I feel like here us a sepret world, the Justice League the supervillians trying to destroy humanity and create chaos," I helplessly wrung my hands again,  not caring enough to stop myself. "It like I'm just watching everything descend into Hell, not being able to touch, but just watching as all my words fall flat."

"You think that you can't make a difference? That you aren't enough to tip the tables?" Her voice was soft, soothing.

"When I see things, they happen. No matter how I try to stop it. The cease of destruction is just the temporary evasion, what I do to stop what I see causes it." My nails were biting into my palm oncemore.

"So you feel trapped by destiny?" She concluded.

"I feel like that's an over simplification, I feel trapped by what is fated to happen. Knowing that I can't stop it."

"I'm not going to pretend to know whether or not you can stop it or not. But I will tell you this," she pointed at me. "Don't let that weigh on your shoulders, because that's no way to live."

Well that seems pretty damn hard to accomplish. 

"These sessions are confidential, yeah?" I asked

"Yes, they are, but due to who your uncle is, I don't believe they can stay that way forever." I found myself nodding numbly.

"I don't need forever. I need here and now." My face twisted into a grimace as I slinked away from her questioning gaze.

"I'm listening." She responded, I wasn't sure if that was supposed to be reassuring.

"We had an encounter with the Joker, I didn't react as well as I should have." My legs drew to my chest, taking a shuddering. "Ironically, dealing a madman that dwells is chaos made me come to a startling logical psychological evaluation."

"And what," she paused, her eyes bearing down on me. "Might that evaluation be?"

"I'm going to die." There it was, out in the open for all to hear. I could have stopped breathing if she hadent raised her eyes brows in question.

"I mean, we all die sooner or later. Whether your 80 or you haven't even had a chance to live get. Death, like nature, doesn't care who or what you are, it's unbiased and impartial. But, I saw it and....." I took a shuddering breath.

"Percy...?" She trailed off. I could feel it, her sympathy.

"They said that men are no better of knowing their fate. Sometimes what you do to stop it is what causes it. I saw myself die, in my dreams. I can't let the escape my mind, knowing I'm going to die."

"Its inevitable. Everything else that I saw, I couldn't stop it. I was never able to change the future. I'm going to die and it's ticking down like a clock that has no numbers. I don't know when, and I-" my voice cracked.

Just finish it.

"I came to the realisation in my phycological evaluation that I'm scared and....I don't want to die."

She got up from her chair without a word and pulled me to her chest, coupled with me letting a pathetic noise escape along with a few tears.

"I don't know how to feel what your going through, but I felt that you needed and actual, affectionate hug." She explained.

I couldn't stop crying, in the midst, I was apologising pathetically. To he'll with all controlling emotions.

"I'm sorry." I sniffed." I don't even know why I'm crying."

"You said it yourself." She recalled, pulling away. "You're scared."

"Don't you go telling anyone I cried." I pointed a finger at her in mock sterness. "I tell you doctor I'm ashamed of it."

She laughed and ruffled my hair, which prompted a glare in return.

"I know you'll figure this out Percy," was what she spoke after a moment. "But know, you'll never have to do it alone."

I glanced up at her through black bangs falling down into my forehead. She had a smile plastered on her face. One that I would never be able to replicate.

"Maybe." Lies.

"I'll see you next week Percy." She responded as I walked out.

"Yeah." They can never know. It will break them.

It will break them anyway.

No, It will break me.

They can't know.

You're a lier.....