Ace

People always ask others what their ambitions are. Their hopes, dreams, fears and everything in between. "What do you want to do with your life? What do you want to get out of life? What is your heart's desire?" These are all common questions asked.

But they've got it all wrong.

It's not what you want, but rather how you get it. The question should be rephrased. "What do you want in life, and how far are you willing to go to get it?"

Because that's the real question. What are you willing to sacrifice or put off so that you can get what you want?

That's exactly what I was asking myself.

It's always the moment you're so close to getting it that you ask this too. I had already gotten everything I needed, settling up the circle and symbols using chalk, concocted the mix of various ingredients, half of which I had no idea even existed, and just had to actually perform the ritual to get what I wanted. What I craved and wished for in the darkness from where I hid.

Of course, as soon as I was finished, there was a moment of hesitation. Where I looked from the symbols, to the metal bowl in the middle and the half open bottle off to the side, and then, finally drifted off to the book, already open to the page I needed it to. The title at the top was straight to the point, which made it easy to find.

'Creating A Human Body'

While reading it earlier, I stumbled across something that was the main cause of such hesitation. A warning for the spell. I would have dismissed it if I hadn't taken a little look into what it told of, then got slight cold feet from it.

'A Fair Warning To Any Who Wish To Use This Spell: Creating a whole new human body is no easy feat. It requires a massive amount of magical power and if the performer of said spell already has a body, that body will be vapourized, and have a chance of killing them. If they manage to survive, the spell will then activate a series of trials. Be warned: If you have any weights in your mind holding you down, you must let them go, or the spell will turn against you.'

I shifted in the body I was currently in, getting uncomfortable. "Why are they always so cryptic in these books? I can be cryptic but "Weight in your mind"? Trials? What does that mean?" I sighed and checked the cover of the book again. "English translation... Probably made a lot more sense in Latin.... Why couldn't I have learned Latin?" I rubbed my temple and let out a long sigh. "Now or never..."

Straightening up, I couldn't help but look down at the body I possessed earlier. By accident, I had gotten into a young girl, probably only six or so, I always found it hard to tell with them. She wore a little purple dress that I was very uncomfortable in and sandals to match it. I never really liked possessing kids, given adults were a lot more useful and it just didn't seem right, but right now, I had to get this done before someone saw me. Plus, I had an advantage to it.

Taking a deep breath, I quickly exited the body and swirled in the air. It took a minute for the girl to snap back into it, but once she did, she took one look at what I set up and made a run for civilization.

Unlike an adult, a kid wouldn't want to stick around if something scared them and try and stop it, they were still so young. Plus, if she ever told whoever her life givers were what she saw, chances are, they would just think it was part of her imagination.

But on the off chance that they did believe her, I had to act fast.

Quickly swirling around the bottle, I managed to create enough disturbance and knocked it over, allowing the pure magical essence to spill out. As it did, I floated over to the book and began to murmur the incantation. Upon hearing it, the magical essence latched on to my long and wispy like form and mixed with it. Knowing it was almost complete, I dunked myself into the bowl and mixed everything together, including my own body.

The reaction caused a huge spark and I started to feel like my body was on fire. It was stretched, pulled and prodded at all at once and I quickly felt the energy I collected start to burn up from the use. A feeling of panic shot throughout my body and I would have screamed if I didn't feel like the magical essence was choking me. At the same time, I felt like I was dying and being born as well as fading away and solidifying and it terrifying me. Was I dying? It was so hard to tell.

The body stretched into four parts outwards, then started to form from there. The compression and flexing all at once was unbearable, but I could feel myself start to stabilize. The body it was creating began to grow what was needed and start to fill in skin and bones as well as organs and everything else that was needed. It happened so fast that one moment, I was staring at my own energy, extended like two arms in front of me, then in the blink of an eye, I was staring at two arms.

They were pale, but they existed nonetheless. I hesitated before slowly moving them around, finding I had full mobility. Not only this, but I felt almost content.

"Was that it?" I questioned out loud, examining the body I created. "That was easier than expected... What did it mean by tri-"

I was cut off by a sharp head splitting pain that shot through my body, and within seconds, everything went black.

"-Didn't take you here for-... Make a choice."

"Choice? I don't... -Confused"

"-... Favoirite-.... Fade or rise again?"

The voices were broken up as if I was hearing a corrupted video tape or a broken record. I knew I had heard them before, and that I might've even been there when it happened but I found myself distracted.

At that very moment, I felt... Whole.

I could feel energy swirling around me endlessly, and constant mumbling of voices. 'Keep them safe' One would whisper. 'Keep them alive' Another joined in. 'Break it down, provide him power' More kept coming and coming until it was like there was hundreds speaking at once.

But it felt so natural that I just let myself relax. Everything was so soothing and complete. I found it hard to want to do anything but just go with the flow. It was like being wrapped up in a warm blanket and being told everything was alright. I didn't want it to ever stop.

It was like there was a million beings all working at once, though one being appeared to be larger than the rest. In charge most likely.

This one was the first to react when something invaded their systems. It only tensed up at first but soon, and everyone else began to feel it too. Soon, we could see it, a darkness flowing through and as soon as it passed us, something snapped deep inside. Destroy. Attack. Revenge. Hate. That's what the darkness told us, and with little defense against it, our power began to spiral out of control.

While the biggest of us did their best to remain calm, there was a spread of panic and confusion. This was new, and with no idea how to defend from it, we were helpless.

A murmur spread through us as they began to really think. Moments later, we began to push against it, forcing it into the corners of our home. Soon, we-no wait... I was burdened with it, feeling it infect my very being and twist it into something different. Then, we-they began to force it out of them, and in extend, me. I tried so hard to break away, but then it hit me.

They knew it couldn't be rid without it being attached to something first. I was a sacrifice so they could be free.

"Wait! We can deal with this together!" I cried out, feeling the power within going unstable and sparks flying in all directions. "Please! Don't leave me! It doesn't have to be this way!"

As a last resort, w-I looked to them. The biggest of them all, who was watching the whole thing, almost frowning. I reached out to her, but she gave no hand in aid.

And instead I found myself being ripped from them, suddenly alone and everything was so bright. The darkness consumed and took control, sending my energy into a spin and going out of control.

Just for a second, I became completely unstable, but I soon gained control again and partly stabilized again. Confused and disoriented, I lost myself yet again, but couldn't stop thinking that I had just experienced deja vu.

I wasn't sure how long I blacked out for, but I stirred again upon hearing voices. Several, too many to count. My mind scrambled beyond anything I had ever experienced before made it hard to understand them, but I picked up a couple phrases.

Words like 'Unstable' and 'Lab' kept coming up, but before I knew it, I was out yet again when I felt myself being moved.

Eventually, I awakened again to different voices. They were clearer, and there was just two of them now. One was female while the other was presumably male from how low it was.

"I've never seen anything like it before! I mean, just look at it! All of that power in one place! The possibilities are endless." The tone was a higher pitched, meaning this was the woman talking.

A lower laugh came from the other. "You get excited too easily. Think about who we work with, what do you think he's going to want to do with it?"

The woman sighed. "Make a weapon out of it, I know... But are you sure that's the best course of action? We could make so many other things from it! Like an alternate power source!"

"Why would we need an alternate power source? The Nexus is the strongest thing here, and this thing only is a fraction compared to its power. It can't add up to it, and it's not like we need another power source. If the Nexus was taken out, we'd all die, simple as that. No other power source could be used if we're all dead. Plus, we need weapons more than we need anything else, and this thing? This, is a weapon."

I finally regained full consciousness, able to see what was around me despite having a lack of actual eyes. I was in the middle of some huge white room filled with other people doing their own thing. I was contained within a glass box with a metal floor, and though quite big, it didn't make it any more comfortable. The glass box was hooked up to a machine with reading I didn't understand.

There were two people in front of the machine. Both wore long, white coats, had a lean form, and had goggles resting on their forehead. One was a girl with long, curly, brown hair and orange-red eyes. She was younger than the other, looking to be in her early 20's, and had her hair pulled up into a ponytail. Her mouth was currently tipped into a frown but her eyes never stopped looking at who she was talking to.

The other was male, a bit older than her, looking to be in his late 20's. He had short black hair and beard that was just growing in, not complete or very long. His eyes were a piercing blue that I certainly didn't like even looking in my direction. His arms were crossed and he had more of a bored resting look on his face, but I didn't like how not only his eyes would shift around, but how they would look at me as if I were his next tool to be exploited.

After looking at me briefly again, his attention was back to the girl. He patted her on the back and gestured towards the machine. "Look, I know you got big ideas and all that, but this simply isn't the time for that. We have to think pragmatically. We don't need that kind of power, we need weapons. And that thing?" The way he kept referring to me as a thing made me shiver, despite the fact that I couldn't feel cold. "That thing is a weapon if I've ever seen one."

As I watched the scene unfold, the girl's eyes trailing down to the tiled floor, I began to think. What happened before, I was too content to even think for myself, and it was like I became part of a hive mind. But now, I could think clearly, and I finally realized something.

This, all of this since I blacked out trying to create a body, had happened before.

Whether it was in my mind, an illusion, a flashback of some sort or if I had somehow gone back in time to said events, I really had no idea. What I did know is that I already experienced these events. Though, what happened after they spoke was foggy. I felt my form spark with an electricity before settling again. Then, as I looked down at myself, I noticed something strange.

My physical body had stayed with me, in fact, I was still in it. I blinked before looking up, wondering if they could see it too, before remembering how the man called me a 'Thing' meaning they probably still saw me as my more wispy form. After all, last time I went through this, I was still in that form.

I tensed as the same feeling that infected me before made my head ache. They took him away from us. This is all their fault. This place is cursed. They took him away, it's only fair. It's only fair to make them hurt. I didn't even understand my own thoughts or what they were about. Something deep inside told me they weren't mine.

The lady sighing is what eventually caught my attention. Her face looked up to the machine, and then to me. Though she probably didn't know it, we locked eyes before she turned to the man again. "You're right... Jack, I know you're right but, I just wish it didn't have to be all about weapons when it comes to these opportunities."

'Jack' shrugged. "I understand, but that's just the way things are. Let's get prepping for it."

She gave him a weird look as he strolled over to the computer. "Shouldn't we ask for permission first?"

Jack scoffed. "He's going to agree with us anyways, or suggest it if we tell him about the find, so what's the point?"

The woman still looked unconvinced, a deep frown on her face before her eyes wandered and lit up. "Oh! Here he is! Sees us! He's coming this way!"

As the woman quickly approached another oncoming person in a white coat, a wave of fear passed through my heart as I finally put together where I was, or rather, when I was.

"No... No, no, no!" I shouted and began to bang against the glass, trying to see if I could crack it but yielded no results. That didn't stop me from trying to escape it, starting to feel another shiver pass through as my head clouded with thoughts. I heard another voice join the conversation, but before I could even look over, a loud almost scream/hissing noise filled my ears and another spark escaped me, making me freeze up for a moment.

"Huh..." Jack raised his eyebrows but didn't seem too bothered, unlike the woman's extremely concerned expression. "Wonder what her problem is..." He asked, but didn't sound too bothered if he didn't find out. He paused for a long time before looking up, noticing the woman was watching the person she was previously talking to, rush out of the room. "Jill?"

Jill shook herself and let out a long breath. "Fine..." She murmured. She rolled her shoulders and fixated her orange-red eyes on the machine. "Let's get to it. You were right, he did agree to it."

Jack grinned smugly. "Told ya. You really should listen to me, I do know what I'm talking about. Now get over here and run a report on this thing, we need to know exactly what we can turn it into. It didn't have a complete match before, so find out what the differences are."

Jill nodded firmly and began to type furiously on the computer, narrowing her eyes on it. Meanwhile, I couldn't stop banging my fists against the container, hoping maybe I could escape whatever this was and not have to relive it again. After a moment, I glanced towards Jill and cleared my throat. "Hey! Hey, can you hear me?" I hollered, pounding on the glass.

She didn't so much as glance in my direction, so I took that as a no. I groaned and clenched my fists but I couldn't do anything more. I pressed my back against the glass and hoped for the best. Not like life had ever given me it.

Another electricity wave made me bristle for a moment, then I settled. Jack, who was sketching something on a large piece of white paper, looked up for a moment. "Why does it keep giving off little sparks?"

"It's still unstable." Jill responded. I shifted uncomfortably but she kept going. "The power is still too much to be contained into one place, and especially not since it's only been like this for... A couple hours or so? Maybe if it had time to really get used to itself it could." She suggested.

Jack just went with it and returned to his work. It took a while, but eventually, Jill's eyes widened and her mouth parted slightly in shock. Jack noticed her behavior and stopped what he was doing. "What?" he asked, gliding to her side.

Jill was silent before finally working up the courage to say it. "I think... I think it's alive."

I sighed deeply. "Finally..." I mumbled. "Took you that long to figure out?" Did this happen last time? Surely not... Did it? My brain was still cloudy but I held my breath, looking to Jack.

Jack looked over the data, but nothing about him changed. Just one word made my heart drop like lead.

"So?"

"SO?" Jill and I both exclaimed at the same time. I quickly shut my mouth and let it play out, hoping Jill would say what I needed her to.

"It's a living being, Jack! It's not a weapon, it's a living being!" She emphasized, wildly gesturing towards me.

Jack's eyes just dropped to a half lidded expression, more annoyed if anything. "Animal experiments happen all the time, why is this any different? Besides, it's for the greater good."

"Greater good?" Jill echoed in disbelief. "What greater good? You meaning killing people and causing chaos and hate? Wow, isn't that fantastic!" She shouted sarcastically, eyes flashing with anger.

Jack still held his ground, crossing his arms and turned his gaze into a glare. "You have a family, don't you?" Jill faltered at his words. "You've told me about them too. You have, what, ten other younger siblings and your parents? Pretty big family. You want to protect them, right? The Tide Changers are ruthless, this is the only way to stop them. Besides, just because it's alive doesn't mean it feels pain."

"And just because I wasn't a humanoid like you doesn't mean I don't!" I shouted, gritting my teeth together. My eyes shot to Jill's, but noticed the hesitation in her eyes. "Come on, tell him what's what! Don't fail me now!"

Jill's protests would never come as she silently bowed her head. I gaped at her, suddenly feeling so small. Jack uncrossed his arms but remained standing strong. "I thought so." Jack told her. "Now we've got work to do."

As Jill collected herself, he grabbed his paper off the table he was writing on and showed it to her. "Now just one really powerful weapon is nice, but several would be even better, don't you think?"

Jill paused for a long time. "So... You want to split it up?"

Haunting memories resurfaced as an eerie smile passed over Jack's face. "Exactly. Start the process."

Jill immediately started typing on the computer, eyes moving fast. Once the shock settled in, I pressed myself against the glass wall facing them in a last attempt at getting her attention. "Hey! Jill is it? Don't do this! Just stop it!"

But just like before, she couldn't see me. The metal floor under me began to light up with a red glow. I backed up, trying to avoid it but fully knew I couldn't. "Ready when you are." She told him.

Jack wandered over to her side and looked right at me, though I knew he didn't see me for anything else but a tool. "Fire."

A ripping feeling spread quickly throughout my whole body as I screamed, the electricity my body possessed going crazy and bouncing off the walls. It felt like my body was being torn apart, ripped from both sides and knowing that's what the purpose was in the first place only made it worse. I'm going to die! No, please! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! STOP IT! I tried to cry out to them but I couldn't stop screaming. Everything burned and pain was all I could feel as I tried to curl up and hope it would stop.

It did for a moment, and I gasped to catch my breath. My eyes were almost glued shut in stress, but I could still hear them.

"Why'd you stop?" Lower voice. Jack's.

"Did you hear that?" Higher. Softer. Concerned. Jill's. I quickly identified them.

"Hear what?"

"It almost sounded like... Screaming." My heart sped up and I forced my eyes open, trying to see if she could see me, but her lack of action said otherwise.

"I didn't hear screaming."

"Oh... I guess it was just me then."

"Probably just the lights getting to you. Start it up again."

"Wait! NO! I'M NOT A WEAPON!" I screamed but she started it anyways. This time, I looked down and noticed the red sparks coming out of the floor and quickly attacking me before I felt the pain. Once again, it spread throughout my whole body and I withered in it, just hoping it would end soon. My voice grew sore but I just couldn't stop myself from screeching at the pain as my body unraveled and undid itself. Unlike it was supposed to, it didn't feel like I was going to split in half, but rather that the process would kill me altogether. My heart never beat faster in my life as once again, it dawned on me. I'm going to die... No, I can't! I don't want to! Don't let me fade away!

When the process stopped again, I felt my once floating body flop to the cold and unforgiving ground. My eyes were instead too tired to open more than a crack, rather than before.

"Jill! Stop stopping it!"

"It's not working! It's not splitting properly! Jack, I think we should cut our losses and just work with what we have. I mean, it's alive so maybe-"

"I've done this before, it's fine! It's only taking longer and looking different because we've never worked on something like this before. Just keep at it."

"...Okay." There was a second of hesitation for Jill. "...Are you sure you don't hear anything?"

"No. Stop stalling."

I coughed and tried to touch the glass. I could barely catch my breath, even though I tried. "Just... Stop it." I pleaded, but she didn't stop.

And once again, pain was all I could feel.

I blacked out several times, waking up to pain again and then back out again over and over, so many times I couldn't count. After a dozen or so times, I finally woke up to... Nothing. No people in white coats, no pain, just... Nothing.

As I slowly pressed myself against the glass, using it for support in getting up, I checked around, I could see Jack and Jill arguing a ways away. I blinked slowly a couple times, starting to feel just so tired, until just for a moment, I was gone.

It was only a fighting 'No, I can't die!' that brought me back. I didn't know where I was, but all I cared about was that the sicking white color was gone, and I closed my eyes.

"So you passed that one too? Well, it's not over yet. One more should be enough." The voice was inside my mind, though it wasn't my thoughts, that much I knew as I drifted off.

When I opened my eyes yet again, there was a couple things I knew right off the bat.

The very first was how sore I felt. It hurt to even shift in position, meaning the pain stayed with me. The other was the unknown voice when I was drifting off and the final, was the scene in front of me. I knew what it was as soon as I saw it.

I couldn't help but huff and close my eyes. It was now clear what it meant by trials. It was putting me in every single event that haunted my life. Of course, for a final trial, they would choose this one.

I was in the middle of a cave, a very large and long one with abnormal rock formations all over, only lit up by a blue light. While I was slumped against the wall, still feeling weak from the last encounter, they floating in the air, confused and trying to think straight.

They were thinking about everything that had happened to them, and their new feelings that puzzled them to no end. They were thinking about how unstable they were and how to fix it. They were thinking about their impulses of destruction and how to deal with them.

And I only knew this not because I could read their mind, not something I could do, but because I once was in that same position. Because I was looking at a younger version of myself.

Since now I was pretty sure I was inside my own mind, this version of myself reflected what I looked like now, or at least what I knew. Pale skin, glowing blue eyes and wore all blue clothing. The hair was scruffy, but most likely because I had no idea what it looked like, so my mind most likely filled in the blank.

There was a sudden stop in the past version of myself's movement and then gave a firm nod to their own thoughts. "I can get rid of it." They decided, preparing themselves.

"No you can't..." I huffed, knowing they fully couldn't hear me.

"If I just force it out of me, it'll go away!"

"You can't do that." I mumbled, eyes fluttering shut. I didn't want to watch this.

"Here I go... Now!" They gathered their own power and began to electrify themselves. Unfortunately for me, I felt it too gasping at my already pained body as it only added onto it.

"Stop it!" I called to my own self, but he didn't want to, groaning but only increased the power.

"Just a little more! Come on, I can do it!"

My heart was getting ripped out, or at least that's what the equivalent of what I was feeling like. It wasn't as bad as the time before, but the frustration of my own arrogance was unbearable. "Stop this! You're killing us!"

My younger self began to crumble to the ground but still didn't stop. "I... Need..." They struggled for words.

I knew this would go on for longer than I could handle, so I did the only thing I could think of.

I launched myself at the other version and tackled them.

Finally, I had found something I could alter and interact with as the pain stopped and we both tumbled to the ground. The younger me gave me a look like they were seeing me for the first time, and they probably were.

I was perplexed for a moment but snapped out of it to do what I wanted to do. I gripped the younger selves shoulders, and began to scream. "Just stop that! Don't you get it yet? You can't get rid of it! It's a part of us now! That's why they split us off in the first place, because it couldn't just be banished without being attached to anything alive! You can't just get rid of feelings you idiot!"

They just sputtered. "B-but... I just want to go back to the way things were! I don't want this! I'm not-"

"I know." I cut in, narrowing my eyes. "But suck it up and deal with it. We can't change, not without help and no one is ever going to help us. And it's too late now. You try to change our nature, you'll kill us both. We can't go back to our old life, they'll never accept us now, we're too corrupted. We literally got corrupted by this."

They shrunk and began to look away but I forced their jaw in my direction and made them look at me again. "Listen closely, there's no hope for us, you got it? We're stuck with these impulses until we complete them. And yes, it really hurts and it really sucks but that's our life now. We're not like the others, and they'll never give a crap about us because of that. These humans and humanoids are already the top species, so the rest can all suffer for all they care, because nobody does! Nobody cares about us, capeesh?"

I panted but straightened up. "But I'm going to do what I have to to get it done. I'm stabilizing us, I'm giving us life, and I sure as all hell are not going to let anything kill us! WE ARE ALIVE!"

Then, there was a flash of white.

When it cleared, I was back, in the middle of a circle made out of symbols and chalk. The remaining of what I used was spilled on the floor as I just soaked in what happened.

Then carefully, I lifted my own arm and tested it. It obeyed like I wanted it to, making me blink. I curled it into a fist and let a little electricity spark off, something I hadn't been able to do in a host body.

Then came the final test. My eyes searched around before finding a particular jagged rock sticking up from the ground just outside the circle. I shifted over to it before jabbing the palm of my hand right into it. A shock of pain made me withdraw and let out a yelp, but soon it sunk it.

I had a body. A real, live, physical body.

I was... Alive.

A laugh escaped me as I held my hand close to my body. I'm alive! I grinned and sighed. The only thing that currently didn't make the body perfect was the deep and dark feelings I was stuck with. That still meant my job wasn't done, but at least I did something.

"Finally... I'm truly alive."

********************************************

BACKSTORY

Not even all of it either, there's still some places I need to fill in the blanks, but that's for later...

Ace does have a reason for doing a lot of the things he does. A huge part of it is because he truly really hates people, thinks they're just going to use you for whatever you're worth then throw you away later. Another huge part was vaguely explained, but you'll get the full details later. Wouldn't want to spoil everything, now would I?

Also, what Ace actually is is hinted in this chapter, though it might be hard to pick up, or not, I don't know, I'm the one writing, it's hard to tell.

I really love writing about Ace when the other people in the story aren't around, because he acts different because he doesn't have to keep his guard up or put on a terrifying act on them. He can just be himself.

Dude, I can't wait for 'Weakness' now because once again, Ace chapter.

Has anyone seen Avatar: The Last Air bender? Because this chapter is basically like "Zuko Alone" where the villain (sorta) gets his own episode/chapter all to his own with no main character interactions.

Anyways, enough of me going on and on about this guy even though I could because I've been working hard on him, but I hope this chapter was both insightful, and entertaining. Still want to murder him, angry mob? Be sure to comment what you think and other such, and goodbye!

--JustAnAtlantisWriter