This is a brilliant new concept that has been dreamed up by the brain-child of Scrubber-Town, the fantastic new shopping mall for Scrubbers.  The idea for  Around the World ,Around the Corner , say resident managers Gavin and Jimbo  originally came about because of the Global Financial Crisis and the fear of terrorism; factors which made it virtually impossible for Scrubbers to enjoy exciting holidays.   However, it was a few years before Gavin and Jimbo could obtain planning permission. Now a run-down suburban beach has been given a new lease of life with this international-style glamour resort, made affordable for Scrubbers and anyone else too scared to leave the country.  Don't get too excited though, as it was done on the cheap and there are no fantastic sea views to be had.  Unfortunately, the only site on which the Jewel Park council would allow building was behind a range of shifting sand hills. We're told that sometimes there are glimpses of the sea, but at least there's a special 'resort-only' track that takes the residents down to the shore and people still seem to want to go there.(Not our cup of tea though.  We'll stick to the Gold Coast or Bali). We hear that the resort can also be hired for parties and weddings.

Bookings will be essential, as will a kind of passport, the indenti-Scrubber, as proof of booking. For fun, these will be stamped upon arrival, then Scrubbers will be taken to their cabins, which come with portholes. Another popular feature of the 'Arrivals Hall' will be the getting-to-know-  you session with free beer, bubbly and Coke or Fanta for the kids. We hear the inaugural getting –to-know –you became a drunken free-for-all with dads pulling punches, mums pulling hair and kids biting and scratching. We're not sure if it's true-could be just bad media coverage

There's lots of things to do at Around the World. You can work out in Jimbo's gym, if lying round drunk and bloated becomes too much and Ladies' Aerobic sessions are a specialty here, with supervision provided by resident health and fitness guru, Dr. Ina Eppit. (by the way, Dr. Ina's sister Dr. Una Abels is a  clinical psychologist who is shortly going to open a practice in Scrubber-Town. Watch this space). Jimbo's sister Jacinta may be coming on board later in the year as a resident clairvoyant, but this has yet to be confirmed. There's a cinema too, with special 'Vintidge' film evenings. A junior version of this will feature such old-timer cartoons as 'Mr. Magoo', 'Donald Duck' and 'Heckle and Jeckle'. This will be for kids up to twelve. We hear that at the inaugural screening, the kids were not impressed and screamed abuse, threw food at the screen and jumped up and down on the seats. However, probably bad media coverage again, trying to put people off. For those with more 'adult taste', there's'sinner-ma' sessions, which have dubious titles and ratings. This is strictly for over-eighteens, but we have heard rumours to the effect that bribery can have kids as young as twelve being allowed in (allegedly of course). 

Certain to be a big hit is the giant Sling-shot for teens, which flings them through the air and into the sea. We were told by a reliable source that eight ended up in hospital at the Around the World launch. If that happens in future the giant Sling-shot could be in jeopardy and as teenagers are flocking to Around the World , an alternative will have to be found. We think the Around the World resort could become a popular venue for 'Schoolies week.' For the under-10's beach-side fun will be a sand-castle competition, but we hope the sand-throwing competition , like the one at the inaugural event won't be repeated. Ten more ended up in the on-site hospital as a result of this. There will be a child -minding centre, staffed by girls formerly of the Spite-Club. These young ladies have been through an anti-gang programme (run by Dr Una Abels). They have a new outlook on life, we're told,  but we can't be sure and neither can Dr. Abels. We'd like to think that police-checks have been carried out but we're not sure about that either.

There's lots of good food to be enjoyed at Around the World. Adults can take part in Gamble and Guzzle feasts at Gavin's Tavern, where for a set price there's all the food and drink you want, as well as a few turns on the Pokies and Keno. Customers could be entertained for hours here.

Cora-Lee's Cornets caters for the young and young-at-heart. Cora-lee is the twin sister of Kara-lyn, the boutique owner and stylist of Scrubber-Town fame. Cora- lee has a large and tempting array of ice-creams, milk-shakes and donuts for her  hot and hungry customers.  Her specialty is a huge hot-dog, dubbed the Wolf-Hound and Cora-lee is going to run a competition, so we hear, to see how many Wolf-Hounds a contestant can eat in an hour. We think the prize for this feat will be a free supply of Wolf-Hounds for a year. We can't wait for the first one. Anyway, enjoy your stay and try to ignore any bad press.

P.S. Earlier we did mention an on-site hospital. This is just really a very large emergency room facility to cater for minor hurts and upset tummies. This is just as well, because it's staffed by med-students who didn't quite pass their exams, but who want another go. So, if they can face lots of wailing kids and angry abusive parents, they're given the chance. Don't worry, If you or your kid look like dying, you'll be transferred quick-smart to a major city hospital. Around the World doesn't want the responsibility and especially don't want to be sued.

So start planning your holidays and saving those ill-begotten dollars and get ready to come and explore the fabulous, international-standard playground that is Around the World, Around The Corner. It's fun, it's safe and it's near you.

Luv and Air-kisses from

Lainie and Janie (Roving reporters for the up-coming Scrubber-Town Sagas).

P.S. Bookings for  the Around the World resort can be easily and quickly made at 'Asteroid Travel', who've just opened a new office in Scrubber-Town. Do make sure the staff get your dates right though, as one man had  booked for Christmas 2016, but when he turned up, was told he'd been booked in for 1916. Another person was informed that they weren't expected until 2026. Just something to watch.