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chapter ten ━ valentine's day massacre
season six, episode fourteen

❝ what would the fun be if i told
you everything straight away? ❞

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Aliya jolted awake — having a throw pillow hurtled at your face in the early hours of the morning seemed to have that sort of effect.

Rubbing her face with her hand, she blinked at the outline of the person stood still in her doorway, more like the person she was going to add to her hit list.

"Shove over." Alex nudged her shoulder, causing the still half-asleep woman to roll over across her bed to make room, landing face down into her pillow that muffled her frustrated groan. She felt the weight of the bed shift as Alex led on his back beside her, hands rested on his chest.

"What time is it?" Aliya mumbled, barely audible as she spoke directly into the pillow, not bothering to move even though she was struggling to actually breathe.

"Four thirty." Alex replied in a casual manner, his eyes fixated on the ceiling.

The brunette shuffled in the bed, her legs fighting with the sheets as she jolted upright, looking at the man beside her as if he had just committed a crime.

"Four thirty? In the morning? Are you kidding me?" Aliya placed a palm on her head in frustration, stifling a tired yawn. "Too early to function without coffee. Too early to function without coffee."

In one swift motion, she grabbed the pillow and shoved it on top of her head with a disgruntled groan.

"In the afternoon, Aliya." Alex corrected his friend after seeing the look on her face. "We worked the night shift last night. You remember that, right?"

The brunette made a face, peeking out from behind the pillow she had crammed on top of her head. "Days and nights just kind of mush together."

"You wanna go in early?" Alex looked down at the lump in the duvet which was Aliya, frowning.

Today was a day that Alex and Aliya shared a mutual hatred of, as of lately. It was the day they had ultimately been dreading, because nothing was worse than being surrounded by happy couples when your own love life was a glorified train wreck.

The day in question was more formally knows as Valentine's Day, and the two friends purposefully chose the night shift for the previous day, so at least they could skip the majority of the day by sleeping through it.

They could list all the cliché reasons as to why they hated the day, but they would be there for hours. The main reason though was at the end of the day, love sucked a great deal of the time. And, after recent life events (divorce's, adultery, tequila), they had become toxic cynics.

After a few seconds of silence, Aliya forced herself out of the bed, practically falling onto the floor as she rolled out. She stumbled to the door, pushing her hair out of her face as she made her way into the bathroom.

Turning on the faucet, she grabbed her monster shaped toothbrush from the kids section in Target to brush her teeth, before wandering back into to her bedroom.

"Are you coming or what?" She spoke through a mouthful of toothpaste, causing it to drip down her chin.

The Karev man curled his nose up from his position on the bed, slipping off of the bed to follow Aliya to the bedroom. "Yeah, but don't say anything else, spit it out you freak."

"Ass." She nudged him in the shoulder with a smirk, and the pair proceeded to shove each other back and forth against the walls as they descended the hall to the bathroom.

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"Did you know that Kepner girl is back? The one who killed that woman?" Alex announced in a rather insensitive manner as he gulped down his coffee like it was his life vessel as the pair wandered through the halls, now in scrubs.

Aliya gasped, choking on her own coffee and reaching over to slap his arm.

"Hey!" Alex protested, swatting her hand away with the back of his palm.

"She probably feels horrible about it." Aliya lectured with a frown, suddenly feeling quite bad for the Mercy Wester who was fired a couple months back. "Don't be mean."

The pair finally pushed through the double doors to the emergency room, seeing as they had been assigned to help out in the trauma room.

"I'm not—"

"You've got to be kidding me." Aliya muttered in pure disgust, interrupting Alex as she stared at the room, which was decorated from floor to ceiling with flowers, hearts, and paper chains, all the various different shades of pink and red.

"Now this is why I think Valentine's day is ghastly." Alex grumbled, rather dramatically. However, drastic times apparently called for drastic measures.

A plate of chocolates lay at the front desk, in heart shapes with red foil wrapping, otherwise known as the one good thing about Valentine's day. Because, chocolate in the shape of a heart tasted so much better than regular chocolate.

The ER was empty except for Jackson, of course, spinning on the front desk chair, casually eating potato chips, fighting boredom.

He leaned his head back, chucking the chips into his mouth with his feet kicked up on the desk.

The pair approached the desk, and straight away Alex grabbed one of the infamous heart-shaped chocolates, unwrapped the foil and smacked it into his mouth, glaring around the room as he chewed. Jackson looked up and over his chip packet at the two, raising his eyebrows.

"Why are you guys in already?" Jackson asked, continuing to crunch on his crisps, briefly looking at the clock.

"We had nothing better to do." Alex explained with a shrug, going in for another chocolate.

"Who did this to the ER?" Aliya asked, imagining the great satisfaction she would feel if she could tear down each and every inch of the decorations.

Maybe her grudge against Valentine's day will go with age, like wine or olives.

Then again, Aliya's didn't even like olives, but she did love wine more than oxygen.

"The nurses." Jackson informed her, following Aliya's eyes around the room, all from the streamers to the paper chains. "You don't like Valentines day?"

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CARMINE'S ITALIAN RESTAURANT
new york city, new york
( valentine's day, four years ago )
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Aliya clicked her cellphone on, staring at the time which only seemed to mock her.

8:48pm.

The exact same time as it was ten seconds ago.

She sighed, bringing her wine glass to her lips and taking a sip as she looked around the restaurant, letting her eyes fall on to the sea of seemingly happy couples smiling at each other over the complimentary breadsticks and vases of roses, holding each other's hands fondly.

It was Valentine's day of course, this place was bound to be full to the brim of love sick couples.

But, it had gotten to the point where it was starting to mock her, and she began to feel like one of those girls who get stood up for prom, waiting by their front doors in their pretty dresses — corsage-less and date-less.

Her eyes scoured the menu for the what felt like the hundredth time, tracing the edges of the card with her finger, trying everything to avoid the pitiful eyes of the waiters.

Nervously, she twisted the new, shiny diamond engagement ring that adorned her finger, trying to fight away the anxiety. It was weird wearing it, she didn't know why, but even after all these weeks of being engaged, it felt — wrong.

Maybe it was the fact that her fiancé was forty five minutes late.

To keep her distracted, she started to think about her exams next month, and how she should really be studying for them right this second if she wanted to graduate.

Though, that only made her think of the fact that she still hadn't chosen a residency program. She was waiting for him to say something about it, to ask her to go for the same one as him, so they didn't have to be apart, but he never did.

And, she didn't want to be an after thought. She didn't want to be the one to follow him.

She wanted to make her own name.

Maybe that's why the ring felt so odd.

She never wanted to admit it to herself that she never even wanted to wear it. How, if he didn't show up in the next five minutes, she'd take that ring off of her finger and throw it into the—

"Hey, Aliya, sorry I'm late." The man spoke breathlessly as he appeared beside the table.

Aliya looked up, and her previous state of anger and regret seemed to evaporate (temporarily) as she smiled into a pair of sky blue eyes. Elijah leaned in, kissing her lightly on the cheek before slipping into his seat opposite her.

"Where were you?" Aliya asked, closing the menu in front of her that she had been studying intently, she tried to make her voice sound bright, but it never really seemed to work all that much.

"Oh— I was held up. They got us practicing on cadavers." He explained, clearing his throat and opening the menu, taking his own glass of wine Aliya had already ordered for him.

She raised a brow at him, sceptical seeing as she went to the same med school as him, and she didn't know of any skills labs being held on Valentine's Day.

"Why are you nervous?" She stared down at his shaking hand with careful eyes as he clutched the menu to try and make it stop.

"I— I'm not nervous. Me? Nervous? No." He shook his head, pushing his dirty blonde hair to the side, even though it was short enough not to fall into his eyes.

He reached over to take Aliya's hand in his, rubbing her palm with his thumb calmly, though Aliya could still tell something was different with him today.

"If you say so." Aliya spoke, lips pursing, unconvinced as she narrowed her eyes sceptically.

The pair sat in further silence, with Elijah nervously looking up at Aliya every few seconds.

She shuffled in her seat, unable to take what was going on. "The calamari looks—"

"I can't do this." Elijah interrupted, taking his hand away from Aliya's to press it against his forehead in an instant, leaving her hand cold on the tablecloth. Her eyes flicked down to her empty hand, then back to him.

"What—" Her voice broke into a short burst of laughter. "What do you mean?"

"I— I thought I could give you this one thing. A Valentine's day. But—" He paused, scratching his jaw nervously, closing the menu as if he wasn't going to order anything at all. "I can't do that to you."

"You're being cryptic, what are you talking about?" Aliya's heart started beating a millisecond too fast in her chest, her eyes watching closely as Elijah looked rapidly around the restaurant, avoiding her gaze at all costs, or he was looking for the nearest emergency exit.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't hold you back. We can't hold each other back."

The brunette froze as Elijah's eyes finally landed on her after fighting eye contact for the past five minutes, as he said the words she never thought she would ever hear from the mouth of a man she trusted most in this world. Having been in a relationship with him for the past four years, she would never even imagine him saying those words.

Even though the past four years consisted of her running from him, and him convincing her time and time again that they could make it work.

"Aliya?"

She cleared her throat, unable to comprehend what was going on around her. "What?" She finally managed to say.

"We have to break up." He told her in no time, as if Aliya didn't hear him the first time where he had phrased it a little differently.

In that moment, she could physically feel a dozen pairs of eyes on her, as her fiancé was trying to break up with her in the middle of a packed restaurant on Valentine's Day.

Hell, even the breadsticks thought it was depressing.

"I heard you perfectly clear." Aliya laid her hands flat on the table in an attempt to keep her cool, her ring staring judgementally back at her. "I'm just— I'm struggling to understand why?"

Elijah took a deep breath. "It's not you it's—"

"Don't give me that bullshit. I deserve more than that." Aliya snapped, flicking her head back up at him, his eyes tearing away from hers the second they regained contact.

"I— I just can't right now." He paused as a million different thoughts hurdled through Aliya's mind like the stampede at the beginning of The Lion King that was always guaranteed to make her cry like a baby. "I got offered an internship in Florida."

"Okay." Aliya closed her eyes for a brief moment to comprehend what was happening before her eyes. It was almost as if she believed that if she kept them shut for long enough, it would make sense. "So, that's it? You're just quitting? After all this time? You didn't even bother to tell me? Are you being serious right now?" She started to blurt random thoughts out with no structure, her mind spiralling endlessly.

When she broke up with him over a year ago, he did everything to save their relationship, convincing her she didn't have to be alone just because she was scared he was going to leave, or reach the stage where he can't stand to be in the same room as her because she bored him so much. He convinced her he would never leave, promised her wouldn't leave. And, the time before that, and before that.

Aliya had broken up with the man opposite her four times, though he never left, and somehow she never expected him to ever do it.

"I can't do it, Aliya. I don't want you tied to me." Elijah's voice cracked, but Aliya didn't feel an ounce of pity for him.

"What do you mean?" She replied, still confused to the reasoning behind why Elijah decided their future without even consulting her, without making it a discussion. Did these past four years mean nothing to him?

"I—" He stuttered, taking a quick swig off his wine to take the edge off.

"You aren't making much sense, Elijah!" Aliya finally caught his eye as he set the glass back down. "We can make it work. There are lots of great hospitals in Florida, and it'll be nice to move somewhere else. God knows I'm not going back to California."

He sighed. "Aliya—"

She shook her head, even though she knew there wasn't anything to fight for anymore. They couldn't come back from this. "You can't just give up."

"I'm not." He whispered sharply, scratching his jaw again.

"It sounds like you are." She countered, bitterly.

"God! Aliya! I don't want to be with you any more!" Elijah slammed a hand down onto the menu, sending a vibration across the table to Aliya who inhaled sharply at the contact, her chest tightening underneath her dress that was feeling as if it was suffocating her.

Now, there for sure were a dozen pairs of eyes on them.

So, instead of crying and screaming at the man she loved who just shattered her heart into a million tiny pieces, she grabbed her bag and coat, wrapped her scarf, that would end up in the trash because he bought it for her, around her neck and slipped out of her seat.

She mustered her last ounce of strength and dignity as she glanced at him directly. "You know what, before you decided for yourself you were going to quit, I was thinking about it too."

She knew it was hurtful. At the time, she wanted to hurt him as much as he had just hurt her so, she took the ring of her finger, slamming it onto the table with one quick movement. It bounced slightly, twirling around before settling down on the cloth.

Countless times she questioned herself whether she should've dug deeper as to why he had ended it so abruptly — statistically, out of the two of them, she was more likely to be the one that quit. She had done it before and he always convinced her otherwise, he showed her what it was like to be loved.

It was easier for her to end the exchange with bitterness, admitting she too had thought about ending things. She convinced herself in that small moment of time that she needed more than him. Tried to convince herself, at least.

"You're not even going to say anything?" She asked as he remained silent, his eyes trained on the ring discarded in front of him.

"Aliya—" He started after a couple of seconds, but it was too late, she had already turned on her heel and her feet guided her out the door and into her parking lot.

She couldn't look back. She didn't want to look back to see Elijah digging his fingernails into his forehead, leaving crescent moons on his skin. Or, the waiter kindly asking him if he needed anything else. She just threw off her heels, replaced them with her designated driving Ugg boots, and slammed on the gas full throttle.

It was only when she pulled up to her apartment she shared with two of the girls from her University that she started to cry, tears burning red hot down her cheeks.

When she finally got inside she pulled open her laptop and selected a document marked Surgical Internships.

She slammed letters that formed 'Somewhere in Seattle'. The furthest place away from Florida.

She had to put as many miles possible between her and Elijah.

And besides, Seattle seemed like it would be a fresh start anyway.
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"Let's just say, I'm not its biggest fan." She managed to get out, shaking her head in an attempt to rid herself of the memory that still haunted her to this day, yet to visit the vault at the back of her mind.

"Is this what an aneurism looks like?" Jackson joked, chuckling through a mouthful of chips.

"I can see how you would be confused, seeing as you've probably never seen one before." Aliya responded, sarcastically, before sighing, propping her elbows up on the desk. "I should be doctoring right now. We should be doctoring right now."

The brunette groaned, dropping her head in her hands to try and stifle a yawn despite only having just woken up. Needing something to distract her from this particular day.

"Doctoring isn't a word, dingus." Alex pointed out, matter-of-factly.

"Words were made up to begin with. What stops me from making a new word." Aliya mumbled into her palms, incoherently.

"She makes a good point." Jackson agreed with her, slouching into his chair even further.

"Don't listen to her," Alex grunted, reaching back for another chocolate (they were addictive). "She says that all the time. She makes up new words every week."

A smile tugged on Jackson's lips as he angled his head to the brunette seemingly going through an existential crisis, which he couldn't help but find quite adorable.

Which made him feel quite sick, in all honesty. Seeing as the jealousy from the previous week was enough to drive him insane.

"Isn't Valentine's day meant to busier?" Alex questioned, casting a glance over to a man led on the gurney who recently got stitches, waiting for someone to pick him up. "Full of loved up idiots who make bad decisions?"

"It's going sl—"

"No! Don't say it!" Aliya yelled at Jackson who jumped in surprise as her voice reached a different pitch than he was used to.

"Dude!"

"What?"

"You were gonna say the S word! You can't say that in an ER!" Aliya informed, manically, looking around superstitiously, as if waiting for an influx of patients.

Jackson quirked a brow. "Superstitious much?"

Aliya frowned at him. "Cautious is a better word."

And as if on cue, the brunette's phone buzzed from where she had placed it on the counter, and the three pairs of eyes glanced at it.

"Holy shit." Aliya murmured, bringing her phone closer to her eyes.

"That's not going to make you see better you know." Jackson observed, pushing himself up from his chair to peer at her phone, to make sure just by nearly saying that word, he hadn't caused a car crash of some sort.

"What's the matter?" Alex asked, peeking over her shoulder at her phone also.

"A freaking roof collapsed in a restaurant!" She read the message from one of the paramedics she knew, shoving her phone back into her pocket and skipping towards the yellow trauma gowns as if they were operating some sort of magnetic field.

She slipped on, and cast a glance at the two men from over her shoulder, a wide grin adorning her features.

"Are you coming or are you just gonna stand there?"

Jackson and Alex straightened up, exchanging a look as they too followed the woman's lead and put on trauma gowns.

"Why are you so happy about a roof collapsing?" Jackson asked, fastening the knots of his gown as he spoke. "That's really morbid, Levine." He tried to say seriously, though he too found Aliya's excitement for it to be quite entertaining.

Before Aliya could answer, the phone rang from the desk. Rushing to it, she quickly picked it up, jamming it to her ear.

"Seattle Grace Mercy West emergency room." She spoke into the receiver as the other line instantly began to shout orders into her ear that lasted for about twenty seconds before they hung up.

"Page all attendings and residents, get anyone you can down here, NOW." She started digging through the supplies, checking what they have and she made her way to the Trauma nurses. "We need Neuro, Trauma, Cardio, Plastics. Everyone."

"Holy shit, is it that bad?" Jackson gulped, suddenly feeling a tiny bit guilty.

"It's all your fault, Avery." Aliya lectured him.

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"Depressed skull fracture." Derek announced, pulling out the patients chart.

"With a subdural hematoma." Aliya added quickly from where she was stood at his side.

He nodded in confirmation, handing her the patients chart, and turning around to peek out the window, looking out onto the already swarmed ER.

"Alright, let's book an OR."

Aliya grinned at the prospect of finally being back on Derek's service where she could scrub in on neurosurgical procedures where she didn't have the overwhelming urge to gouge her own eye out.

With Dr Nelson, she found that she didn't do that as much, he was quite a conventional surgeon, never really stepping outside the box, never really liked letting someone else do the procedure.

But, with Derek, it was completely different.

Aliya placed the chart down. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." He defended, looking away from the window.

"You're hiding. Why are you hiding?" Aliya chuckled at the new chief of surgery.

"I step out there, and then everyone is on me like vultures. It's exhausting." He pressed a hand to his forehead in frustration.

"So, you hiding out with Mr. Laney."

"He makes for good company." Derek paused, returning his gaze back out the window. "Okay, walk with me."

The pair emerged from the trauma room just as Arizona appeared out before them, no amount of body guards would stop him from being pounced on as soon as he came into plain sight.

"Oh God." Derek sighed as the three of them shuffled down the hall.

"I need you to reassign some anaesthesiologists. You're being cupid for Bailey." Arizona grinned at the festivities, trying to hand Derek a chart and a pen.

"I don't do that. I did that once, and she yelled at me." Derek explained, though he still took the chart from Arizona anyway to sign his name.

"Who's the lucky guy?" Aliya shoved her hands in her pockets and grinned, squinting at the papers Derek was signing.

"Ben Warren!" Arizona relied while Aliya nodded, agreeing that they would make a good couple. "I'll be cupid. You just be the Chief."

"I am not cupid." He told the blonde.

"Dr. Shepherd, the reporters are waiting for a statement." April, newly rehired, stopped in front them, causing Aliya to jump slightly at her voice suddenly sounding directly in her ear.

"I have a surgery." Derek replied back, handing the chart back to Arizona.

"Well actually, Dr. Nelson said—"

"No! No!" Aliya laughed breathlessly, shaking her head rapidly in an attempt to stop Dr. Nelson from doing the surgery. "You can't leave me with him!" She stared at Derek, who widened his eyes at the brunette and continued walking, supposedly trying to get rid of April.

April pulled a face, before returning back to look at her clipboard. "He could take your skull fracture. I'm sorry, Aliya, but he's already got a resident in his service, he's off to the OR now—"

"You gave my surgery away." Aliya interjected slowly with more aggression than she intended to have.

"No—"

"You did!" Aliya snapped.

"Dr. Nelson already—"

The brunette looked as if she wished to commit a crime. "Kepner, you've got to be joking!"

"I— uh— Derek," She turned her attention away from the very pissed, very cranky woman beside her. "You've got the trustee's breakfast in the morning, and when the trustees turn on the eleven news, it's your face they'll want to see."

Derek sighed, stopping in the ER and staring around at all the patients being treated. The charging of the paddles. The sounds of voices demanding orders across the beeps of machines, it was comforting in a way.

A hoard of paramedics walked in from the ambulance bay and past them, pushing a gurney through the middle of the room. "Watch it! Coming through!"

"I got the arm!" Jackson called out, following the gurney, and holding said arm in a plastic bag.

Aliya turned away, back to Derek in order to at least attempt to convince him to stay. "Dr Shepherd, please. Be a surgeon! Do the surgery. You can be both. You can be a surgeon, and the Chief at the same time! You know that right—"

"Chief Shepherd?" April interjected, holding up his jacket to help him out it on.

It was as if he had an angel and the devil on either shoulder.

"I'm sorry." Derek muttered to a frazzled Aliya, turning away from her and her patheticness.

"No! Derek! Come on!" Aliya sighed, watching the neurosurgeon leave to the ambulance bay without another word, where a bunch of reporters were waiting for him.

The Kepner woman still stood there smiling broadly like she did a job well done, holding her clipboard tight to her chest.

She turned to Aliya, meeting her unimpressed glance. "What! I'm just doing my job!"

"Your job is a surgeon, not a personal assistant. You don't see me putting on Shepherd's coat for him." Aliya backed away with a grimace. "Thanks for taking the one good thing out of my day."

She threw her hands down in frustration even though she felt slightly bad for taking her frustrations out on April, remembering what she said to Alex earlier about the whole not being mean thing.

Which led to Aliya cursing her fourth Grade teacher for organising Kindness Day at her school.

"Look. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I was deflecting. I didn't mean it. Dr. Nelson just— he just—"

"Sucks?" April finished, smiling slightly, and Aliya didn't think she had it in her, to insult a member of staff.

"Yeah, he does."

April laughed, letting her clipboard fall from her chest. 

"So. Why don't you actually want to do surgery?" Aliya questioned. "You were rehired. You got a second chance. Why don't you want to do any?"

"I—" She cleared her throat, looking down at her shoes. "I don't want to be the girl who killed someone's mom." She didn't look up whilst she lifted a hand to swat a loose tear away, sniffling onto the back of her hand at the thought of the unwanted memory.

"Then don't be her. We all make mistakes." Aliya reassured. "Sometimes they cost us. But, what matters is what we learn from those mistakes. Well, that's what my history teacher said, and teachers are meant to be wise so take her advice."

April smiled, using the sleeve of her white coat to dry her eyes. "Thank you."

Aliya smiled back at the red head, her eyes catching as Dr. Nelson emerged from the trauma room.

"Oh, Dr. Nelson!" Aliya rushed over to him, past April as she stopped him from advancing towards the exit even quicker.

"Dr. Levine, I have surgery." The man said as he looked over the rim of his reading glasses.

Aliya let out a laugh, though she wasn't finding her surgery getting poached all that hilarious. "Actually, Dr. Nelson, I was on that case, you can't just—"

"I can." He grumbled, miserably.

Hateful, idiotic man.

Aliya pursed her lips tightly. "Don't you think that's a little unfair?"

Dr. Nelson shrugged. "What's done is done—"

"That's—"

"Goodbye, Levine." He gave her a condescending smirk as he disappeared out of the pit, leaving a very angry Aliya behind him.

"Levine, are you free?"

She had never thought the voice of Owen Hunt would be her saviour, but in that moment it was, only for a very fleeting second.

"Yes!" Aliya clapped her hands together, turning on her heel and advancing to where Owen's head was poking out of a trauma room.

"Great, I need your help." He said as she entered the room.

"What do you need?" She asked, watching as the patient was wheeled away.

"I need you and Avery to debrief the arm, tag the vessels and get it up to me as soon as you can."

"Okay." Aliya nodded her head as Owen left the trauma room behind the patient, leaving only her, Jackson and, well, the arm behind.

"Yang's with Hunt." Jackson stated out of the blue as he set up the arm, ready for them to get started. 

"Great observation." Aliya spoke whilst pulling on a pair of fresh gloves, joining him by the arm, and reaching across for the equipment.

She kept her head down, getting started with removing the concrete and tarmac, but the Avery man was supposedly not finished. "Grey's with Shepherd. Torres is with Robbins."

"Hm." She murmured, not knowing where this whole dating history lesson was going.

"Karev was married to Stevens. Other Grey was with Sloan." He withdrew a breath, shaking his head as he held back laughter, the funny thing was however, that wasn't even half of it. "It's a wonder you guys got any work done around here."

Aliya nodded her head, she had to agree with him, it wasn't as if he was lying. "It's more of a reality television show than a hospital."

"So—" Jackson cleared his throat, reaching for the clamp as he begun tagging off the vessels. "Any I'm missing?"

"Nothing significant." Aliya lied through her teeth, focusing her undying attention on removing more of pieces of ceiling from this poor man's severed arm.

"You sure?" Jackson asked, inquisitively with a raised a brow as the woman opposite him simply nodded in response. "Why don't you like Valentine's day? The real reason instead of the old textbook excuses of it being a scam orchestrated by the card companies."

She looked up from the arm, glancing across at him as he watched her with interest, instead of actually doing what they were supposed to do, what they were paid to do. "What would the fun be if I told you everything straight away?"

Jackson frowned at the woman. "You haven't told me anything."

"Maybe that's the point." She shrugged, reverting her attention back to the arm.

He chuckled, lightly. "Humour me."

"I don't hate Valentine's day." Aliya defended, tagging a vessel and reaching for another pair of clamps.

"Fine. I'll guess." Jackson smirked as he continued to work aswell as think of all the possible reasons as to why Aliya didn't like Valentine's Day. "Naturally cynical? Doesn't believe in love? Bad parental examples of love? Dumped on the day?"

Aliya stilled for just a second, hoping he wouldn't have caught onto it at all.

"Ah! Ding, ding, ding."

"No." Aliya burst out, quickly. "Not ding, ding, ding."

"Come on." The Avery man grinned. "You can trust me."

Oh, even his voice was attractive. How was that even allowed?

The way he spoke gave the feeling of so many great things all at once, like the smell of coffee, the sound of rain, the theme song of a favourite television show. Someone Aliya barely knew that well's voice shouldn't be allowed to be added to the list.

She scrunched up her nose at that thought. "I don't even know you."

"We could get to know each other, Levine." Jackson suggested. "It's not that hard."

That damn voice again.

And, his grin.

She really did hate him.

Sometimes.

"What if I don't want to?" She challenged, not wanting to even make eye contact with this man— the stupid green eyed man.

"Oh, come on!" He chuckled, shaking his head at her stubbornness and inability to let anyone into her head. "Fine, I'll go first. My name is Jackson Robert Avery. My birthday is November eighteenth. I played baseball in high school and football in college, but you already knew that. My favourite food is waffles with bacon and maple syrup, and I don't eat leftovers because I think it's depressing to eat out of tupperware containers—"

Aliya pulled a face, feeling personally attacked seeing as she had leftovers (from a tupperware container) the previous night. "What? You find it depress—"

"I'm not done." Jackson cut her off, and Aliya's widened her eyes, her curiosity getting the better of her. "I'm an incredibly slow reader, it's actually pretty dumb. And, I was prom king four years in a row."

"Of course you were." Aliya scoffed, her smile widening even more against her will. "Now that's just—"

"I know impressive." He cut in before she could insult him.

Aliya pursed her lips at him. "I was gonna say braggy."

"And—" He continued on, despite Aliya practically saying he had a big ego. "I had an imaginary friend who was half-troll, half-gremlin who drank the tears of my imaginary enemies. His name was Frodo." He finished, stretching his shoulders and reaching for another clamp.

Aliya laughed, so hard her chest started to hurt and even though Jackson knew she was laughing at him, it still made him smile to see her eyes brighten, small adorable creases appearing by her eyes. "Frodo? You named your imaginary friend Frodo?"

"Hey, what's wrong with that?" He defended.

"Frodo. No, there's nothing wrong with that, it's very sweet actually." She spoke through the still continuous laughter, having to pause her work to steady herself.

"You're up, Levine."

Aliya brushed him off. "I think I'm—"

"No backing out now."

Rolling her eyes at the whole encounter, she had to admit she thought it was strange how this damn man was weirdly nosy, prying into her life as if he were trying to dig a hole in the ground with a plastic forks they had in the cafeteria.

"Fine." Aliya gave in, she couldn't exactly help it when the man opposite her looked like a greek god from the history books. "My name is Aliya Juliet Levine." She muttered quickly.

"Sorry, what was that?" He leaned in, pretending he didn't hear her (when he definitely did).

"Aliya Juliet Levine. Don't make a face, it's my Nana's name." He raised his arms in surrender, ushering her to continue with a wave of his hand, brushing off the fact her middle name was the same as a protagonist in one of Shakespeare's most famous plays. "I was born on March third. Um— my favourite food?"

She chewed the inside of her cheek in thought.

"That's easy, apple pie. I grew up in Los Angeles and there was a cafe by my High School that did the best apple pie I've ever had, if I was on my death bed, I would ask for that."

Jackson's eyes seemed to brighten, which could have a hallucinogenic effect on a person if they weren't careful. "That good, huh?"

"That good. I don't joke about apple pie." She confirmed with a serious expression, which Jackson understood with a nod of his head, beckoning for her to give him more. "Um— I moved to Seattle, because I hated the weather in LA, it was constantly Summer. Fall is my favourite season. The drinks, the weather, the scarfs! One time, my grandmother knitted me this really long scarf once, it wrapped around my neck thirteen times, it was more like a blanket, then again she wasn't a very good knitter, even though she was a surgeon too."

He watched every single point of her face light up at the distance memory she recounted.

"And, I guess I enjoy painting in my free time."

"What do you paint?" He replied, sounding genuinely interested in everything about her.

"Anything really, I've been painting that—uh— that park by the grocery store, you know—" With a sigh, she paused in thought, racking her brain around for the name of this particular park. "I forgot what it's called, it's nice though."

Smiling warmly, Jackson looked up from his work, at the same time she did, causing their eyes to meet over the very severed arm. "Maybe I can see them sometime."

Aliya pursed her lips and stared at him closely, her eyes narrowing. "Maybe. I would have to kill you afterwards though."

His pink lips curved into the smile he usually did when she spoke.

He sighed, mocking disappointment. "Don't beat up my face too much then. It's my one thing." He resolved, holding up his index finger. "My one thing."

"Deal."

"What would you be if you couldn't be a surgeon?Your second choice." Jackson asked.

"An artist, probably." Aliya answered immediately, instantly regretting it. She wasn't meant to like this guy. This guy wasn't meant to make her heart flutter and flip like it was doing a circus act. He wasn't meant to make her feel this way. "Did you always dream about being a surgeon?"

She ignored every thought running through her head, she too couldn't deny the curiosity she felt when she was with him.

"Yes. I guess I did." He contemplated his answer carefully. "In my family, I was seen as the pretty one. I was expected to not really achieve much. I was seen as someone who was seen and not heard. So, I wanted to do something unexpected, so I became a surgeon."

"To prove yourself?" Aliya inquired, looking as he lifted his head back to her, nodding slowly in the process.

"Kinda." Jackson said with a short sigh. "Same for you?"

"Something like that."

Aliya quickly resolved to the fact that she couldn't answer that question with a:

'Yes, but also no, very long story short but basically, my parents blackmailed me into becoming surgeon just like them, forcing me to learn every single procedure and medical word in the dictionary, even when I was only a kid, putting tremendous pressure on me and made me believe my self worth was tied to whether I succeeded or not, and even though I am now a surgeon, and twenty seven years old, they still didn't seem all that proud of me, even though I had done exactly what they wanted all throughout their life as they raised a sceptical, control freak of a human being who thinks that nothing in her life could ever be permanent, because she is never enough for anyone no matter how hard she tried.'

That was quite a lot to dump on a person.

"You know," Aliya started as she tagged off another vessel, returning to the matter at hand, which was saving the severed arm. "I was lying before."

Jackson raised a brow. "About what?"

"About the whole Seattle Grace Mercy West Dating Show." She replied, thinking about how she would genuinely watch that show if it was ever aired. That would make for some top quality entertainment.

"Oh, yeah?"

"I dated Mark Sloan," Even saying those words made Aliya want to break a door. "You can add that to the record."

He bobbed his head. "Noted."

⠀
—✩—
⠀

Aliya and Cristina shuffled over to where Alex and Meredith were stood, eating a box of half eaten chocolates, looking out the window through to a patients room.

After successfully reattaching the severed arm in the OR, Aliya so desperately needed a drink at Joe's, so she went on a mission to find her only single drinking buddy.

"I'm starving." Cristina moaned, peering into the heart shaped chocolate box. "Ew, these are all half-eaten."

Aliya shrugged, reaching for a half eaten, visibly hazelnut, chocolate. "It's what Alex does. It's gross but, I have to admit, it's useful."

"So, you can see what they are." Alex explained through a mouthful of a mixture of various different chocolates.

Cristina contemplated it for a moment, seeing as it was a little gross to potentially eat another persons saliva, but desperate times called for desperate measures, so she picked one up.

"Score, caramel." Aliya popped the half eaten caramel into her mouth leaning back against the desk as she savoured the taste.

"What are we doing?" Cristina questioned, taking the words right out of Aliya's mouth, watching as Meredith and Alex stared thoughtfully at a woman and a man in the ICU.

"Her boring husband's in surgery. This dude's been in love with her for 15 years." He pointed at the man lying in the bed next to the lady.

"But, she just found out, so we're waiting to see if she says something." Meredith finished, reaching for another chocolate, visibly strawberry.

Alex nodded, rummaging through the chocolate box and selecting a half eaten hazelnut heart. "Or, if her husband croaks."

"But, it's okay if he does because they're both miserable." Meredith justified.

"A real life love story." Aliya smiled at the patients, though it all did seem quite a waste when you thought about it.

Mer turned to Aliya. "I mean, is this what marriage turns into? Running out of things to say and changing who you are?"

The others nodded their heads in agreement.

Aliya gave the two patients a sympathetic look they couldn't see. "Well, their marriage does seem slightly depressing."

"Well, I didn't marry Derek to be the Chief's arm candy. I'm a surgeon." Meredith announced to the group with passion.

"You married him for the great surgeries." Cristina joked, looking over at Mer with a smirk.

The Grey woman shook her head. "I didn't do that either."

"You should have." Cristina grumbled, returning her hand back to Alex's chocolate box.

"I guess this is slightly romantic. Pining for fifteen years. But, isn't it just a waste of time? Never telling someone what you really think until it's too late?" Aliya commented, retracting her previous excitement for the two as she began biting her nails, clasping hold of her necklace on her neck as she thought about the whole prospect of miscommunication.

It was truly a bitch.

Meredith walked to the window, attempting to get a closer look through the glass. "I guess. But, now they've finally found each other."

"And, it only took a roof collapsing in a restaurant. How poetic."

⠀
—✩—
⠀

"—And, dude, she was good." Elliot Harrison, the same Mercy Wester from the other night whom Aliya went home with, boasted to the other guys in the residents lounge.

"Didn't she sneak out of your bed the next morning?" Charles smirked back, throwing her scrubs in the laundry.

Elliot gawked, before shutting his mouth once more. "Yes, but that's not the point—"

"And, she hasn't spoken to you since?" Another Mercy Wester, Adam, chimed into the conversation.

"Yes, but—"

"Ha!" Charles laughed, obnoxiously. "She totally ghosted you

"What, no—" Elliot shook his head, pulling his shirt over his head. "The sex was good, earth-shattering even, and besides, I would totally go there again, no strings attached. I wouldn't have to even listen to a single thing that comes out of that mouth of hers. She could just say the word and—"

"And, what?" Jackson had seemed to enter the room at the perfect time, standing a few inches taller than Elliot with his arms crossed, his face stern, imagining the many ways he could beat his slimy ass to a pulp.

Because, there was no way that Aliya had become subject to revolting residents lounge chatter.

"Oh, hey, Jackson. Didn't see you there." Elliot chuckled nervously, scratching the side of his jaw.

Even Charles seemed to have stilled, pausing whatever he was doing.

"What were you guys talking about?" Jackson asked.

He knew exactly what they were talking about.

"Oh, Elliot went home with Levine the other night!" Adam, (immature, dense Adam) piped up. "I'd totally hit that, I mean, c'mon, she's got that look in her eyes—"

Adam couldn't exactly finish his sentence, seeing as Jackson's fist hit him squarely in the nose.

⠀
—✩—
⠀

"Back here again?" Joe emerged from the back room behind the bar (which Aliya had always wondered what was behind there), now that Aliya was three tequilas in.

"What can I say," She shrugged her shoulders lightly, one hand propping up her cheek, the other swirling her straw in her tequila absent-mindedly. "I get such great service here."

Joe beamed, pouring her a soda with a slice of lime. "Make sure you take it easy, Aliya."

"I always do." She said, a lazy smile on her face as Joe walked away, serving customers on the other side of the bar.

The amount of times she found herself at Joe's after work should probably be studied by professionals.

It had become a pattern, a routine, a coping mechanism.

Somehow, the atmosphere of Joe's never failed to take her mind off of what was going on in her life. She could just switch off from the outside world, because in Joe's, nothing mattered—

"Hey, you."

Aliya snapped out of her daze, blinking at Mark Sloan slipping onto the bar stool beside her, quickly ordering a beer from Joe.

"Hi." The brunette managed to get out, watching as he passed Joe a few dollar bills, and taking a long swig out of his beer bottle. "Having a good day?"

Aliya slowly turned towards him, a brow raised high as if to say, I'm in a bar, on Valentine's Day, alone, my day's going great!

"You remember last Valentine's Day?" He chose a totally new angle of conversation.

She scoffed, straightening up on the bar stool, and rolling her shoulders which were stiff from surgery. "How could I forget? You gave me food poisoning with your crap cooking."

"I followed the recipe—"

"You have me salmonella!" Aliya quickly interrupted before he could even begin to defend himself any further.

"I personally didn't give you salmonella, the chicken did—" Though he didn't finish his sentence, seeing as Aliya's very loud laugh cut through whatever he was going to say next.

But, in actual honesty, he had forgotten what he was going to say next.

All he could focus on was her.

Her laugh, her smile, the way her hair was falling over her shoulder, out from behind where it was tucked behind her ear.

Without any thought, he unconsciously reached up, his fingertips grazing her blushed cheeks, the contact causing her breath to catch in her throat as he tucked the strand of her hair behind her ears, carefully.

"Mark—" She whispered, breathless as he leant in closer towards her, and even him just being this close, made her heart thrash from inside her chest.

And, when he pressed his lips to hers, she wasn't even sure her heart was working properly anymore.

Because, his lips still tasted the exact same, kissing him felt like how it did before, but at the same time it was so, so different. It was as if, for a brief second, nothing else mattered, because for the longest time, she had loved him, and that feeling wasn't something that went away that easily.

From the shock of the past ten seconds, Aliya stopped kissing him, stilling enough that he has felt it to.

Now it was just them, in a bar, with their foreheads pressed together, not knowing their next move. 

Mark's hand found her cheek, his thumb brushing her skin. "Would it really be so bad?"

It was just them in this bar, the world around them was absent from their minds, and all Aliya could see was his eyes, dark and blue, watching and waiting for her to draw her cards, to give him the green light.

"No—"

Their lips met once more, and Aliya allowed her arms to snake around his neck, deepening their kiss further. She didn't want to admit it, but it felt good kissing him again, after all this time.

How could something that felt so good be so bad for her?

His free hand found the small of her back, and when his hand lingered there, she couldn't help but transport herself in her mind back to the time when he steered her away from Lexie, when he didn't want her to find out about them.

And, when his palm met her face, the same way it had when he convinced her that he hadn't cheated, that he was held up at the hospital all damn night.

The shattering of a glass behind the bar, and the argument they had once.

His lips tasted of unanswered calls, of empty promises, of secrets and lies, of hurt.

Every kiss told the story of how she could never forgive him for what he did to her. For the hell he had put her through.

No matter how good it was, she couldn't let him hurt her like that again.

"—Yes." Her voice was low and soft as she broke the kiss, her palms dropping from his chest and into her own lap.

"Yes? Yes, what?" Mark questioned, his hands still at her cheeks.

"It would be bad." She looked up to meet his eyes, clouded with desire. "I can't do this."

She slowly slipped off of the stool, making his hands fall off of her face. Slinging her bag over her shoulder and walking away from him somehow made the world fall into place.

Because, she was so much more than the girl in a failed love story.

⠀
⠀
⠀

( notes! )

everybody say jealous jackson we've got a jealous jackson people!!! every jaliya scene i write i fall more and more in love with them uggggh

and you can't tell me the scene where they're chatting to each other isn't giving jim & pam!!!!!

SERVING MALIYA CRUMBS. i'm a firm believer in the fact that mark & aliya would've worked in a universe without lexie & jackson. in the multiverse, they have a cutesy house with a few kids and mark cooks & aliya drinks her wine whilst sitting on the counter beside him! mark & aliya alternate universe chapter anyone????? because i will do it if one person tells me too!!

also, no one can tell me aliya and elijah aren't right where you left me coded

( word count! — 8,600 )