Cloaking spells. That is what had saved him from death. And that's what had helped him fake his death. He'd helped Lilly get her heretics back and now he's paid the ultimate price. He'd lost his family and everyone. Then there was Bonnie.... She hated him right from the start. But leaving him in the prison world with the Heretics - he wished she'd just stabbed him in the chest there and then.

"Merry Christmas!" Echoes around the street from the shoppers. It's especially crowded tonight, probably because it's Christmas Eve... The camera is cold in his hands. He hits the same switch he's been hitting for a while now. His dark blue eyes don't need to glance down to know where the button is. A witch and his camcorder... It's like the beginning of a bad joke but there's nothing humorous as to why he's here. A small smirk graces his face. There's one benefit to being a Heretic: he doesn't have to sleep. Sleeping - it's such a waste of time. At least the guilt can't keep him awake anymore. The regret. He has to live with it, carrying it around like a weight chained to his ankle. But it doesn't keep him away anymore... That's why he'd gotten rid of his watch - it was a reminder of how much each second weighed so much - something he didn't need. Blue eyes flashed with pain as he grimaced down at the camera. What was the point?

The wooden bench isn't particularly comfortable that he's sitting on but oh well, beggars can't be choosers, right? Red. His bloody shirt stands out against the snow surrounding him and so does everything else about him. The way he sits unusually still apart from his eyes. His blue orbs follow those walking past and then, once they're out of sight they follow a new person. He pulls on his sleeve, the dry blood cracking. You'd think when you're 'dead' to everyone you could get a new set of clothes. Nope. It wouldn't have been so bad, but the blood... Some of it's his but the rest... He shudders. Josette's, his Dad's, brother's, sister's and Bonnie's... So many names. So many innocents...

He thinks it's cold now - people are hurrying past in thick duffle coats with their Christmas shopping, oblivious of him. He supposes it's because they can't see him. But even if they could they'd probably still ignore him. The Christmas lights twinkle above him. Blink. Blink. Blink... On and on.

Blonde curls and green eyes reflect the lights. The small girl stops in front of him then and points at the lights, a small smile blossoming on her face. 'That's cute,' he thinks before 'God, the old me would be horrified at that statement.' He shakes his head trying not to laugh, and looks into the lens of the camcorder. It was now or never...

"Hey anybody, it's me... Again. I'm still against the whole diary thing so I'm sticking with my camcorder. Anyway, it's day one hundred and forty , nearly five months now, and I'm still here. I know, it's not the Other Side - aha, reminds me of the awesome new Adele song that just came out... Anyway no one else is here. I'm alone. It's funny because it's nearly Christmas. And you're supposed to spend this holiday with family. Unless you're stuck doing a cloaking spell your whole life. Like Malachai Parker - the boy who could siphon magic. Like the boy who became the man - well monster - that is me. That was nice and dramatic wasn't it? I've been reading everyone's Diaries. Why not use camcorders I don't know. Huh, I don't know what my fascination with this camcorder is... In the end it ruined everybody's lives in a brilliantly morbid way. Which is what I wanted I guess.

"The dark part of me that Bonnie knew was there took over me when she left me in the prison world. Why did I come back and crash the wedding? Kill my sister? Try to kill Bonnie? It's wasn't because I'm a fan of Busted. It was because they all had what I wanted: happiness and love. Someone who cared.

"I'd changed when Bonnie left me in the prison world. Alone, again. I'd spent half of my life alone and there I was about to face more time alone. She made me angry. And I acted like a fool. Tick. Tick. Tick. Like a ticking time bomb that exploded at the wrong moment. Maybe if I tell myself it wasn't just my fault that others made me the way I am it won't feel so bad. But it doesn't. Believe me I've tried-" He pauses, giving a strained laugh "-It still feels like I have a gaping whole in my chest. Lilly wanted me to ruin Elena's happiness but I chose to destroy everyone else's lives. If only there was an award for the best bad guy...

"You'd think having the entire world to yourself would be awesome, pulling faces at people without them noticing but..." Black shudders slightly under the lights as the camera shakes a little in his hand. A small sigh escapes Kai's lips. "It's not. It's horrible. Especially on Christmas. All of those god awful songs being played at full volume is driving me insane. But it's Christmas. Which is tomorrow. Seeing everyone so happy and not being able to experience that too... Well, it hurts - a lot. At least in the prison world I was alone and had no reminders of Christmas..." Kai shakes his head, finger hitting the stop button.

He sighs loudly this time - the sound different, it's exhausted and fed up and sad all at once. "What's the point? No one is going to find my camcorder or notice me here. I know everyone is happy I'm gone. But Christmas. Alone. I thought it would be different this year..." He knows no one can hear him, that no one is listening but he still speaks in the hopes of an answer.

His rings glints under the lights as he twists his wrist. Crystalline figures shimmer from the floor. The snow shoots upwards and weaves together to form the curves of a woman - every detail sharp and crisp. He leaves her facial expression until last, making it blank. She stares back at him - thin lips in a straight line and hair in a neat bob, the way he remembered her.

"Hey Bon Bon. I guess it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and it's just you and me. Your worst nightmare I know but maybe you'll let me apologise this time instead of stabbing me in the back." The corners of Kai's lips pull up slightly yet the humour doesn't reach his eyes.

The snowman stays completely still.

"It's a shame I don't have mistletoe..." Kai winks at the snowman. His hands cover his eyes as he wipes his face. "Who am I kidding? I have an eternity alone and after nearly two months I'm talking to snow. I'm know I'm crazy but snow. I'm talking to snow. I just want another voice! Someone to say somethi-"

The snowman shimmers slightly before stepping forward. "Malachai Parker, I am the ghost of Christmas past."

Kai blinks rapidly, startled. The snow Bonnie spoke! He knows he's crazy, but seriously? "Who's past?" He squeaks.

"Yours. Now take my hand," she says, her voice emotionless. Even her voice sounds like Bonnie's...

"Going to stab me in the back again?" Kai asks, standing up and tucking his camcorder into his pocket. His black suit and crimson stained shirt a stark contrast to the snow.

"No," she says, again her voice monotone.

"Bon Bon, you're awfully cheerful this Christmas." Kai chuckles, taking a deep breath.

The crystalline palm of the snowman is cold against Kai's. He glances down at the figure, shuddering. "You better hurry up or you're hand will melt considering how hot I-"

Snap. The Christmas lights all blur into one. The wind picks up as snow Bonnie's chanting does.

Kai's blue eyes widen. "Bon-"