Reviewed by : AlateSchmetterling
Book : Having 12 Brothers And Surviving Them
Author : livykittykat

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Cover- 8/10

The cover was nice. It was simple, and for me, simplicity is the best, but it was missing a kinda vibe, you know. It wasn't a cover that would attract someone to read the book. In my opinion, the cover can be better.

Title- 7/10

The title is...elaborative. Yeah, that sums it. 'Having 12 Brothers And surviving Them', seems more like a sentence, doesn't it? Although if I see it the other way, the title tells you just what the story will be about, yes, it will be about a girl having 12 brothers. But wouldn't it be better if you enclosed this little idea in a shorter way? Think over it. As for the title's creativity, it seems as if you didn't try to put any effort into it. I suggest you work on it :)

Blurb/description- 7/10

The blurrrrrb...is just not good enough! PLeAsE don't be offended, but the blurb is 1) too plain, 2) Doesn't intrigue any interest, and 3) has many grammatical errors, hun. A blurb is something that defines the pedestal on which your story stands, and we need a blurb that utterly transfixes us, right? Please try to edit it, for example, instead of writing the whole big sentence starting from 'Olivia is in the foster care system.......a journey with 12 brothers,' break it down, as in - 'Olivia has been alone since she was 3 (or so the story says), living in the foster care system.' And then continue like - 'It's new, AND surprising for her to know that she is finally being adopted! She is very excited, but little does she know what's waiting for her...' Hope I'm not wrong :)
So, yeah, please try to edit and polish your blurb!

Creativity/Originality- 6/10

Always ask the question to yourself, 'Am I writing something unique?' I asked myself - 'Has the author written anything new, unique?' Unfortunately, I knew the answer, and I'm hoping so do you. It's a big no, ain't it? Now the reason is, Wattpad has a treasure of books with a single girl with many boys as brothers, or with many boys as students or friends or crushes or anything. Basically, this concept has become like the discovery of fire, old, overrated. Your story is about a girl adopted into a family of many boys. Till where I've read, or as I may say, till where you've written, there is nothing new! But I hope you'll enhance your story and make it better than other ones with the same or similar plot!

Plot/flow- 10/20

You wrote 4 chapters, 1 of them is what I think is Olivia vlogging, or else it's not understandable to me, and the other three where just 1 thing seems primal. The setting. I see you've put the effort in the setting, the photos, but trust me, if you'd have put that effort into writing the chapters, then the marks there would've been 19, not 10. The story is too slow-paced, with the 4 chapters I only got to know about Olivia being a foster and being adopted into a big rich family and just the names of the people. Not even Olivia was introduced properly.
Your flow was very uneven, and many things were out of the blue as well. Love you'll really need to work on the pace of your story as well! Please don't be sad or discouraged. This is just the 1st step towards your better writing!

Character development- 4/10

I'm sorry to say this but I was utterly disappointed with the character development of your story. In my opinion, 4 chapters are enough to give you an insight about the protagonist's nature, the insight of HER, but you utilized those chapters for something else, I don't even know what. I may be sounding a little harsh dear, but there was zero character development, zilch. Although there is one thing I got to know about Olivia, she easily trusts anyone who'd play NHIE with her...but try to show her more! The story is about Olivia, but your SETTING is overpowering HER somehow...You had really fewer dialogues too, and just visual information is never the true one, right? Try to work on these things, trust me it'll do wonders!

Writing style, grammar, etc- 4/10

Your writing style was rather bumpy, uneven and there were many grammatical mistakes. Punctuations were missing at many places, tenses were changing again and again, and even the p.o.v.s were changing without prior notice, which led to utter confusion...Hun I'll suggest you enter your book in an editing shop, or try to identify the errors and rectify them it'll help a lot, and change the book's interior drastically.

Genre relevance- 8/10

Your book's genre, teen fiction, is accurately relevant. The protagonist is a teen, her setting portrays a teen's surroundings, and vlogging, possessions, everything, screams 'TEEN', so I'm happy about this! But since there were very few chapters, this opinion is based on those few chapters that I've read! Another thing boldly related to teens was the game you used, 'Never have I ever', and overall, teen fiction IS the rightful place for this story.

Reader's enjoyment- 6/10

Honestly speaking, as a reader, I didn't enjoy the story much. It wasn't much captivating, just a fun light-hearted read to divert your minds. With a bit of editing and changes, your story will be really enjoyable!

Overall- 60 /100

I know...don't be mad, don't be sad, take this as a challenge to polish your book and then look at me and say 'HAH! In your face sucker!' And laugh hysterically after saying that. Seeing that this review was based on really few chapters, it's not a bad score. Maybe I'd have a different opinion if I'd read more chapters, but there weren't, and the first few chapters of a story are its base! I hope you get what I mean dear. I'll suggest you edit your story, look over some points I've mentioned above, and get other opinions as well! Maybe from your parents or best friends, or even here on Wattpad! Even a fruit as simple as an apple can be molded into the tastiest desserts, the same way a common plot can be turned into a masterpiece with different opinions!

All the best love!

Make me proud!!! (Just kidding, but I have high hopes *inserts a wink and a toothy grin*)

And I'll always end with this - However, the review, don't let 1 person, or rather, reviewer, define your work. Ideology is a big thing, and diverse as well. Any criticism you get, take that as a shove pushing you forward in this race towards success!

Lots of good wishes!

_Yara