Book title: Autobot Academy (Book 1)

Author: Gedemog

Reviewed by: Read-aholic2006

Edited by: neospacewriting

(Keep in mind that this review is only based off of the only 15 chapters that were available.)

Cover: 6/10

The cover is very...simple. It's giving off serious gamer vibes. And obvious Autobot vibes, which it should—this a Transformers fanfic. I think this cover is effective, easily attracting Transformers fans and also readers in general due to the bold colour scheme (the bright-red with the black and pleasant sky blue). However, there's no visible title or even the author's username.

And maybe the author can include a hook sentence, something like: "An exciting tale in which an aspiring Autobot must train the Chosen One for a brutal battle." But that is simply a suggestion.

Title: 7/10

Autobot Academy...It sounds rather bland. And very straightforward. I think the vagueness of the title kind of sidesteps the plot of the story, making it unintentionally illusive. I mean, this fanfic isn't specifically about the Autobot Academy. So maybe the author should think of a more creative and captivating title that encapsulates what the story is really about.

Blurb: 4/10

The blurb isn't really a blurb, because the author merely states that the book is a fanfic and then includes the link of the story's soundtrack.

If you want to grab a reader's attention, then you've got to write an interesting and accurate synopsis, giving them some information—just enough details—to lure them in. Your blurb should be the bait of your story, along with the title and the cover.

If you don't nail most of those aspects, the chances that many readers will scroll right past your book in search of something a lot more interesting are very high.

Creativity/originality: 10/10

Sometimes it's difficult to write authentic fanfics that don't give your readers déjà vu since you're literally grabbing inspiration from a well-known movie or book and using a ready-made plot or a polished cast of characters to make your own story.

Gedemog really did a great job of creating her own unique storyline; she didn't plagiarise, but actually transformed Transformers.

Almost everyone loves the common "chosen one" trope. It's a classic. And I really like how our chosen one, Caleven, doesn't appear to be much of a protagonist; instead, the spotlight is thrown onto Asrielus, his trainer.

And although the characters don't have any significant traits that really make them pop or stand out, they're original...and I love the names.

Plot/Flow: 17/20

The plot is already mildly introduced in the first chapter (by the way, a prologue and the first chapter are not the same thing), so readers have a basic idea of what is what by the time they hit chapter two.

The chapters are enjoyable and short, each one flowing effortlessly into the next, ensuring that the plot moves forward and readers don't grow bored. Plus this book is mainly comprised of dialogue, therefore there's no lengthy descriptions that slow down the story.

However, everything seems a little rushed. Due to the concentrated focus on the story's progression, it seems as though the author has neglected other important aspects of the book—the characterization, the imagery, the genres.

The writing lacks details, making it seem slightly insipid. The author has blatantly admitted that she sucks at writing fight scenes; she wasn't lying. But here's several tips on how to improve the imagery...

You can never go wrong with using descriptive action verbs (dashed, slid, staggered, stumbled, smashed, thrusted). One can also make use of striking adjectives (scarlet-smeared, menacing, electrifying, straining). And you can also utilise figures of speech or more vivid descriptions:

E.g.: I threw a solid punch at his right cheek, feeling how my knuckles crumpled against his brick-like skin.

I quickly twisted his muscled arm behind his back, almost forcing his shoulder to slip out of its socket.

My wounds continued to spit out blood, staining my clothes with defeat.

Lastly, since this fanfic basically consists of dialogue, readers greatly rely on the characters to get information or indirectly tell the story. But the characters don't reveal much and this arouses questions. (E.g.: How do you become an Autobot? Like, what makes you an Autobot? Is the transformation process physical? Internal?)

But, then again, the lack of imagery also leaves room for imagination. Readers don't necessarily have to be spoon-fed details to know what is happening or picture a scene.

Characters: 8/10

Like I said before, the characters don't have any wildly significant traits that distinguishes them from other characters. But Principal HW is a very chaotic character, a splash of colour in the book. And the fact that the Chosen One is only a 5-year-old boy is intriguing. Then we have Asrielus. Besides being sweet and slightly sarcastic, he's a competent trainer, teacher, and fighter. But I find it unrealistic that he could heal himself in less than a second after hardly even training when he himself stated that he was unable to even heal a scratch.

Lastly, we have Galvatron. He's supposed to be the antagonist in the story, but he doesn't seem like much of a villain...I mean, he isn't actually one because he was manipulated by Decepticons, but he's supposed to be one nonetheless. I don't know, but there's something about his character that I can't take seriously. I really think the author should try and make him a little more evil and difficult to defeat.

Writing style/grammar: 6/10

The writing style is somewhat informal. The casual diction reflects the speech style of a teenager...although the narrator isn't any of the characters, but an omniscient narrator. So either the writer should try to use more formal wording or an appropriate vocabulary that suits a third-person narration or she can tell the story in Asrielus' POV, in which she can use teenage colloquialism.

There are plenty of grammatical errors—wrong use of punctuation, incorrect capitalization and several spelling errors.

The poor formatting of the text can confuse readers. The writer should make the names of the characters stand out from their dialogue by emboldening or italicising the names. Or she could eliminate the dialogue layout and replace it with the traditional way of writing (Asrielus said, "...." instead of Asrielus: ...) But that's a lot more work.

The writer also doesn't use paragraphs, which decreases readability. And not only is the lack of paragraphs disorientating, but it also hinders readers' interaction because they can't comment on individual paragraphs, which would have been much more ideal.

Genre relevance: 8/10

This book definitely displays the fanfic genre. And there is some action due to the fight scenes, although they're a little too quick and uninteresting.

Also, the characters don't go on much of an adventure as they are only caught in two different settings, alternating between the school and Asrielus' house. So not very exciting.

But the author definitely nailed it in the comedy department. I like the natural humour—the sarcasm, the jokes. Great job.

Reading enjoyment: 7/10

It was a fun story. I liked the seamless transition from one chapter to the next and I wanted to know how things would turn out for the characters. The dialogue was amusing and refreshing. There were some suddenly sad moments, which broke away from the humour. And the ending was pretty dramatic and cool.

This isn't the kind of story I would read in my free time because it falls far from my preferred genres. But this was an enjoyable story and it has a lot of potential.

Overall: 73/100

There's a lot of room for improvement. But if the author spends time working on her grammar and descriptions, refining her characters and editing her blurb, title and cover, then she's got herself a gripping fanfic.