Title: Winter's Dance

Author: firedance_icesong

Genre: Fantasy

Quick Summary: Malachite eyes.

Thoughts:

You ever tried to figure out a train or bus or subway schedule, and all the routes are one twisted, convoluted mess and you have to mentally unravel it like a ball of yarn? That's what this book felt like. And it was even less fun than having to dissect public transit.

I'm not normally one to harp on summaries, but the infuriating vagueness needs to be fixed. We play the pronoun game the entire way through. Give me some names. Tell me who the hell I'm reading about. Or, given the sheer scale of this novel, at least be a bit more specific.

What I read of this, I read through twice. Now, that isn't inherently bad. I had to read the ASOIAF series twice and I understood it better the second time. And I liked it!

Well... I read through what I could a second time, and I understood more here. But... I really did not like it. I was very, painfully bored by the time I got to chapter 15, and that is where I called it quits. 

By far, the biggest thing about this book that pissed me off is that I had to take notes to even understand what was happening. If I have to take notes, your book might be a bit too convoluted. It could also be personal preference. Either way, I hate having to take notes to follow along. I'm not reading a textbook. I want to get lost in the world and unfortunately, here I could not.

The other thing that irked me was some of the description choices. Mainly, the description for eyes. There was a LOT of gemstone comparisons from all the characters. By far the most egregious choice was "malachite eyes", which...

Folks, this is malachite. 

Are you an alien? A rock monster? Either way, you're inhuman if your eyes are this color and I am terrified.

"Amber"? Nice descriptor. I use it myself. "Sapphire"?.. Cheesy, but I can deal with it. "Emerald"? Fine. "Turquoise"? Maybe once, and it was also used in this book. "Malachite"? Absolutely the fuck not. Don't pass go, do not collect 200$. 

In general, I found there were weird descriptions that made me scratch my head. Someone's hair got described as "mahogany and ebony" which I mean I guess but... How? Is it in sections? A gradient? Why not one or the other? Who's their hairdresser because we need to have a talk. 

Also, the assassins. Why is it all but four of the women in this assassin's group - whose name escapes me - well-versed in ~seduction~? And why do the four women who aren't seductresses all hate each other? Something is very wrong with this picture.

On a final note, a strong round of edits would greatly benefit this piece. Chapter three was... literally just lore. Lore and not much else. Sure, I'm sure the lore is important, but I think it would be better to give it in increments rather than dumping it all at once. Another reason for the editing is there are several weird phrases and grammatical slip-ups that could use rectifying. 

For example, "Hearing the freezing sound of the trickling water to the side of the lake with his sharp ears, he finally found his valour to face Aeron."

That's from chapter 3. Do you know what this means? Because I really don't.

A strong round of edits and maybe some reigning back of the plot would benefit this book. Some of my complaints are personal - if you want people to take notes, fine. But I couldn't get into this book and was so bored that I stopped at chapter 15. I did like that a couple of characters are distinguished as LGBTQ, though. That was nice to see.