YEET

SCHOOL IS OUT FOR SUMMER YASSS

To celebrate I'm going to gift you all with quotes from this year.

Things people in my school have said

* 'go suck all eleven of my toes'
* 'Don't you hate it when you try to go upstairs two steps at a time but end up skipping seven steps?'
* 'Go suck a lime'
* 'Y'all I just got abs OVERNIGHT'
* 'I'm going to shove my cowboy boot so far up your ass you dillhole'
* 'Me gusta llorar en el baño' (I like to cry in the bathroom)
* 'Or maybe you just don't eat mashed potatoes with your gravy.' 'That's Satanism'
* 'Sexual question of the day. Go'
* 'Oh, how the fidgets have spun'
* 'Y'all my abs went missing! I can't find them!'
* 'You ever just randomly twerk?'
* *aggressively singing Justin Bieber songs*
* 'Hey can you hold my legs up for me?'
* 'I kid you not the earth SHOOK'
* 'They look like noodles' 'no, YOU look like noodles'
* 'Or they can throw a bag of licorice at you'
* 'Is the earth round, flat, or thicc?'
* 'You, gay ass, and who else?'
* 'I just spilled apple juice on myself and now I'm going to cry'
* *holding grape* 'Who is this?'
* 'Don't throw things in my trash can'
* 'Guys Kaitlyn lost her pants!'
* 'I'll consume your kneecaps'
* 'I'll peel your toenails'
* 'That's okay. I didn't want to live anyway'
* "You're going to make me have five more mental breakdown than usual"
* 'No body cares about your Alabamith grandmother'
* 'I love communism'
* 'I bet I could beat up every sixth grader'
* 'You think I have MORALS and STANDARDS?'
* 'We're not living in an alternate universe, we're making a new country'
* 'Don't put applesauce on my Cheetos'
* 'I'm sorry. I cheated on you with the mailman'
* 'Don't make fun of me. I know what memes are.'
* 'Or as I like to call it, carbonated barbecue sauce'
* 'Penetrate me with nails'
* 'I'm not a lady, I'm a WOMAN'
* 'I will deep fry your scalp'
* 'I will replace your tampons with sticks of butter'
* 'I will exfoliate with your esophagus'
* 'It jumped at me and attempted to arson my finger'
* 'Raise your hand if you're a lonely fisherman's wife who cried seven tears into the ocean and had a seal man come to the surface and impregnate you' *several people raise their hand*
* 'What's going on in the tube of yous'
* 'I am the physical manifestation of the cowardly lion'
* 'I typed the word hot and thottie came up in the autocorrect'
* "I will pull your uterus out through your nose"
* 'You're like a conditioned pig'
* 'Slorp the meteor'
* 'What are your emotions?' 'Pumpkin spice latte'
* 'I don't want your cocaine'
* 'Am I the only one who puts lip gloss on their tongue?'
* 'Natalie give me your face I want to be pretty'
* 'How many bones are in a human hand?' 'Enough to eat'
* 'I have too many eggs to function'
* 'There's twenty seven fingers in one bone'
* 'It sounds like cough syrup'
* 'I'm pregnant again!" -an eighth grader
* 'Feed the squirrels the vaccines'
* 'Why would I spend money giving gifts to my friends when I could spend money and buy stuff on the Sims for myself?'
* 'George Washington dumped me!'
* 'That's not how you eat oranges, you Satanist'
* 'Spock is right there with Marilyn Monroe'
* 'I used to be a boy. Now I'm an orangutan'
* 'That's a big help. I have to feed all of my 5,000 children tonight.'
* 'You can blame the Soviets'
* 'You sound like a motherfucking cuckoo clock'
* 'Do you think I could be a foot model?'
* 'I accidentally just gave them the Hitler salute'
* 'This weekend I ate a whole CapriSun'
* 'I made my Siri call me Daddy'
* 'Are you saying boys don't have legs?'
* 'You'll hear those jingles when you're DEAD'
* 'Anarchy is the true death of humanity'
* 'Nerds are my drug of choice'
* '(To the tune of Baby Shark) Communists do do do do do Communists do do do do do'
* 'Seduce me with your words' 'BUBBLEGUM'
* 'Delete my kneecaps daddy'
* 'Shut your teletubby looking ass the fuck up'
* 'Those phalanges have me quaking'
* 'There is no ankle in Agrabah. Only chest'
* 'Bill Nye said WHAT'
* 'Bill Nye is my queen'
* 'My hands are warm because I'm hot.' 'No, your hands are warm because you were born in HELL'
* 'I just stubbed three of my toes because I whipped'
* 'My dad just walked in and told my Alexa to play Despacito'
* 'Ow my nonexistent knee. It hurts'
* 'Dude I'm like 82 fricking years old'
* 'Do I look high?'
* 'If you make fun of people because of their weight, your kneecaps are forfeit'
* 'Hey just be prepared for lunch, I'm going to accuse her of drawing furries in her free time'
* 'Kaci give me my bra back!'
* 'The cowboy hat emoji is my dad'
* 'STOP TOUCHING BLACK PEOPLE'
* 'I'm the only one who can threaten violence here'
* 'If hell was just a tequila bar I'd still go'
* 'How do you politely tell your friend she looks like a soccer mom?'
* 'Fuck you in the liver'
* 'Who eats a donut with a fork?? Are you literally Hitler??'
* 'Can I snap all my bones and extend into the multiverse?'
* 'I will grapevine you into oblivion'
* 'There's Ranch in my pants'
* 'Hang yourself from the Eiffel Tower'
* 'Your whole life is a voice crack'
* 'I swear to god I will rip out your vocal cords'
* 'Horse girls will ride literally anything'
* 'My dick is bigger than that of a sea cucumber's.' -a girl
* 'It's not salt, it's cocaine'
* 'I'd go to hell for a CapriSun'
* 'My dog had sex with an owl'
* 'I'm pretty sure you can't go for negative 20 seconds'
* 'I have the strength of a chicken nugget'
* 'I'm a slut for Ted Cruz'
* 'Liquify me daddy'
* 'I too wish to be a six foot tall Swedish guy'
* 'A nuclear warhead cannot survive inside a shark'
* 'Why did you go up to the guy who's against gays and ask him to be gay with you??'
* 'Last night I fortnite danced to my favorite song so today I'm going to kill myself'
* 'That's because I'm a fucking lesbian, dickhead'
* 'I eat my soup from a coffee mug'
* 'I'm still eating bricks today'
* 'Holy moly this seat is WARM'
* 'Barbecue is the flavor of pussies and dead people'
* 'Take your saliva back'
* 'I would like to wear a sweatshirt made of his skin'
* 'I hope you become a burn victim'
* 'I'm going to kill your entire bloodline'
* 'You should have thought of that before stepping on my shoes, you fucking half-breed'
* 'I'm psychotic!'
* 'Grapes, get em while they're hot'
* 'I'm reporting you to See Something Say Something' 'Again??'
* 'I will jump rope with your large intestine'
* 'You are not welcome in this classroom. Get out- My science teacher
* 'Y'all need to know I'm a slut for birthday cake flavored things'
* 'Some of us had things going on, like the breakdown of society'
* 'I'm not gay, I'm wearing socks!'
* 'I can't believe I'm letting that guy drink my urine'
* 'I'm gonna break my toe until it's completely calcium and can't break anymore'
* 'I just want to be in a wheelchair for three months, is that too much to ask?'
* 'That was an accidental hail Hitler'
* 'You spelt bitch with two 'i's, dumbass'
* 'It's an interpretive dance, called Where The Fuck Is The Trashcan'
* 'You are the human equivalent of green vaginal discharge'
* 'FUCK THE BEES!!'
* 'Nobody cares if your boyfriend made out with another guy,'
* 'Go to talk to your lesbian friends over there'
* 'Is that a fucking eggshell?'
* 'Do you have a PornHub membership?'
* 'I'm like a bloodhound for fursuits'

My school is hysterical and I hope this makes at least one person crack up.

Happy summer!!