Warnings:
swearing
threats on people's lives

Regulus was there. Standing in front of James. Smiling.

All of a sudden James was moving, wrapping his arms around Regulus as he pulled him close, breathing in the sweet smell of him. His heart was hammering in his chest as he held onto Regulus like his life depended on it.

Regulus was there. Regulus was alive. Regulus was right there standing in his arms.

James let out a shaky breath, feeling dangerously close to tears as his hands ran the length of Regulus's back, checking for any wounds. When he didn't find any he pulled back and checked Regulus's front, arms, legs, face, until he was certain that Regulus was fine.

Then he was back to hugging Regulus, feeling safe in his arms. He'd been so scared that something had gone wrong, that Regulus had been hurt. James wasn't sure what he would have done if he'd found Regulus dead. Probably cry.

James pulled back once again, an almost amused smile on Regulus's face at James's actions. James cupped Regulus's face, brushing his thumb over Regulus's cheek as he leaned in and pressed a kiss against Regulus's lips. It was sweet, like him, and James got lost in it, in the feeling of Regulus's mouth against his, his lips moving against James's in sync like they were supposed to.

They broke apart, and for the first time since this nightmare began, James smiled. It was small, but it was there, and it was for Regulus. James loved him so much. He was so grateful that he was fine, and in his arms, and looking at him with love in his eyes.

"You're okay," James exhaled, closing his eyes as he pressed Regulus's forehead against his.

"I'm okay," Regulus responded. "And you are too."

James nodded, relishing in the feeling of having Regulus in his arms, safe and sound. He'd keep him there forever if he could, right by James's side where he belonged. James was sure Regulus wouldn't mind if he did.

Again James couldn't help but hug Regulus again, burying his head into the crook of Regulus's neck as he escaped to his happy place, right next to Regulus. He sighed, content, and forgot about murders and dead friends and everything else that had been plaguing him. He just felt Regulus, and it was incredible.

James cracked his eyes open, intending to look Regulus in the eye and tell him how much he loved him, when he spotted something in Regulus's back jean pocket. James hadn't checked his ass for wounds, too busy being relieved Regulus was okay to take the chance to make any risky moves. So he didn't see the glint of silver poking out of Regulus's pocket, or the specks of dried blood on it.

No. No, no, no.

He just got Regulus back. He just got him back. This shouldn't be happening. This can't be happening. James doesn't deserve it. He just went through all this effort to save Regulus, so this was not fucking happening, and whatever James thought that knife meant, there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for it that didn't involve what James thought it involved.

Even so, James found himself untangling from Regulus and then taking a step back, then another. He stared at Regulus, at the grey eyes he knew so well, and thought, Regulus can't be the murderer. He's my boyfriend. My lover. The person who I cherish and protect and love. He can't be the killer.

"Regulus?" James asked quietly. Hesitantly.

Regulus sighed, taking out the knife in his back pocket and twirling it around in his fingers, his eyes trailing its every move. His gaze flicked up to James, and a small smile appeared on his face as he continued twirling the knife.

"It's me, James," he said. "I'm the murderer. I'm the killer. I killed all those people."

James stared at Regulus, at the love of his life, and shook his head. He was lying. He had to be lying. James wasn't willing to believe anything else. He loved Regulus, for god's sake. He refused to believe this horrible thing about him, refused to believe that Regulus was capable of murder. Of murdering his friends.

"I knew you wouldn't believe it," Regulus sighed, tucking the knife into the front pocket of his jeans so James could still see it. "I knew you'd be in denial, but it's true. I killed them all, and I did it for you."

James didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to think. He didn't want to believe that Regulus was the killer, yet he kept staring at the knife, and then the black gloves on Regulus's hands he hadn't noticed earlier. The same ones the killer had been wearing.

How could Regulus be the murderer? Why would he be the murderer? It didn't make any sense. James loved Regulus so much, thought the whole world of him, so why would he do this? Why would he do this and break James's heart? James had trusted him. Had trusted him with his whole life. If Regulus had asked him to jump off a cliff he would have, because he knew that Regulus would never harm him. He would have done anything for Regulus, and Regulus repaid him by slaughtering all his friends. Why?

James was sickened. The love of his life murdered people. He was sickened with Regulus, and he was sickened with himself, because he still loved Regulus. In some twisted way, for some warped reason, James still loved Regulus. He could still feel the love within him like a second heartbeat. Could still feel the fondness and protectiveness he always had. Why, though? Regulus had killed his friends, yet James was still longing to hold him again. What was wrong with James? What was wrong with Regulus? What was wrong with them both?

"How could any of this be for me?" James eventually managed to ask.

"For us," Regulus said softly, taking a step towards James. "So we can be together without having to hide. I love you, James. I want to be with you constantly, to be able to love you without worry, yet there are all these people stopping us from doing that. Stopping us from loving each other like we should be able to. So I got rid of them. For you. For us."

James let out a choked sob, shaking his head before Regulus even finished speaking. This wasn't right. It couldn't be right. Not when so many of the people he loved were dead. Not when Regulus was standing in front of him, bloody knife in his pocket, explaining that he killed all these people for them. So they could be together without having to hide.

James felt guilty. So, so guilty. If he'd had the guts to tell Sirius about Regulus, to date him in public and not keep their relationship a secret, this wouldn't be happening. He was the reason this was happening, because he treated his relationship with Regulus like something dirty when it was something beautiful. Something exquisite and unique. It should have never been hidden, and James felt the shame hit him hard.

This was all his fault.

He was too stunned to speak. To shocked to move. To ashamed to run away. Regulus took another step forward, and instead of feeling fear or disgust like he should, he just felt longing. He wanted to be in Regulus's arms. He wanted to kiss him and make everything feel better. He wanted him, even after everything.

"I was stopping us," James croaked. "Not everyone else. I was the reason our relationship was hidden."

Regulus gave James a small smile, shaking his head. "You were just scared James, and that's okay. I did this so you wouldn't have to be scared. I got rid of the things to be scared about."

He took another step forward, and another, until they were face to face, close enough to touch. Regulus tried to do just that, his hand brushing James's wrist.

James flinched.

He loved Regulus. His body longed for Regulus, even now. Yet he was scared. Not of Regulus, but of himself. He didn't know what he was feeling, what he should do, and he was scared he would do something wrong if Regulus touched him, if he loved him. James didn't want to do something wrong.

He saw the hurt flash in Regulus's eyes, saw the way his hand hesitated, like it used to in the beginning of their relationship, saw the way his heart seemed to break, and all James longed for was to fix it.

"What happened to loving me no matter what?" Regulus whispered. James was at a loss for words, so Regulus continued. "You're breaking all your promises today, aren't you? First Peter and now me."

James felt guilty about his reaction, wondering if maybe he should have leant into Regulus's touch instead of recoiling from it. Wondering if he should kiss Regulus instead of running away. Wondering if he should forgive him, because Regulus did it all for them, after all.

Yet he couldn't get Frank out of his mind. Or Peter. Or Lily. Or Marlene and Dorcas.

"Why did you kill Marlene and Dorcas?" James asked. "I thought Dorcas was your friend."

Regulus blinked, and then sighed, staring at the floor. "They had what we couldn't. Didn't you see that? They were together, even though they belonged to different groups, different friends. Why were they allowed to be together, but we weren't? It's not fair, James."

"I know," James said quietly. "But is this fair? Killing all these people?"

"It's making things fair for us," Regulus insisted.

James shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, balling his hands into fists and resting them against his face. He was so confused. There were thousands of feelings inside him, thousands of thoughts swirling inside his head. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know.

"James," Regulus said. "James look at me."

James did as Regulus asked, unable to resist looking at his face. He froze when he did, though, because Regulus's face wasn't comforting like he thought it would be. It was stone cold, similar to what he was like when he was upset, except so much worse.

"Where's Sirius, James?"

James stared at Regulus, at the love of his life, and slowly shook his head. He wasn't going to answer that question. Regulus's face softened and he moved his hand to cup James's cheek. James didn't flinch this time.

"James, you need to trust me," Regulus said.

James stared at Regulus. "You just killed all these people, though. How do I trust you?"

"Please, James," Regulus pleaded. "I just want to see my brother."

Something broke inside James, to see Regulus like that, begging to get at least glimpse of his brother. James hadn't realised they still loved each other, but now it was so obvious they did. Not only because of what Regulus just said, but because of Sirius. He'd stayed with James without complaint, also looking for Regulus. If he had only been there for James, not Regulus, there would have been a lot more complaining, but there was none because Sirius wanted to be there for Regulus as well. Sirius still loved Regulus, and Regulus still loved Sirius. That would have made James happy if not for the knife in Regulus's pocket.

"I don't think I should," James said slowly, "but maybe, maybe we can fix this somehow. Maybe if I talk to Sirius we can- "

"James," Regulus said, cutting James off. He was back to the stone-cold expression, and the hand on James's face suddenly felt cold. "Tell me where Sirius is."

James shook his head again. "No."

"Tell me where he is, or when I eventually find him, I will kill both him and Remus. Slowly."

James was shocked. He'd never seen this side of Regulus before. To threaten to kill people, his own brother, with no emotion... it was scary. Regulus's face softened at the fear on James's expression, and he moved his hand to softly stroke James's hair.

"You'll understand eventually," he whispered. "I love you. Now show me where Sirius is." Regulus moved away from James and gestured him to the lead the way.

To lead the way. To Sirius and Remus.

James knew he had no choice but to take Regulus to Sirius and Remus. This way they might not die, but if he didn't do what Regulus asked, he knew he'd be leading Remus and Sirius to their deaths. James swallowed and started walking, hearing the soft footsteps of Regulus behind him as he hoped and begged and prayed that Regulus wouldn't kill his friends.

Sirius was his brother. He wouldn't kill his own brother, right?