Warnings:mentions of abusive household

James stared at the flyer in his hands, the paper creasing in his hold. Next to him, his best friend in the whole world, Sirius Black, had a copy of the same flyer in his own hand, also reading it. Sirius was a very handsome young man, with raven black hair going down to his shoulders, mysterious grey eyes that spoke of trouble, and full lips that seemed to always be curved into a smirk. He wore a leather jacket everywhere he went, accompanied by his beloved ripped jeans, making him the perfect picture of the heartthrob bad boy he always tried to be.

Gideon and Fabian Prewett, red haired twins who were in the same year as James and probably some of the richest kids in the school, were hosting a party Friday night, the flyer in his hands said.

"We need to go to this," Sirius said, waving the flyer around in James's face even though he had one of his own. Gideon and Fabian had scattered the papers all around the school, making sure every student at Hogwarts knew about it.

Hogwarts was a prestigious private school, full of rich kids and the few students lucky enough to get in via scholarships. This meant that whenever Hogwarts kids threw parties, you knew it would be big.

"I know, mate," James said, swatting Sirius's hand out of his face. "I have my own here, see?" he waved his own paper.

"Pretty sure every kid in the school will have their own," Remus Lupin, one of James's closet friends, commented. He was a tall kid, one of the tallest in the school, with sandy blonde hair, a lanky frame, and freckles covering his face. He was also one of the kids relying on a scholarship, meaning he wasn't born into wealth like most of the students at Hogwarts, and while James would never dream of holding that against him there were some pretty despicable people in the school who did.

Sirius threw his flyer into a nearby trashcan. "That just means we have to go even more now. Can't risk missing out on the biggest party of the year."

James and Remus shared a look, rolling their eyes. Sirius had always been a little obsessed with his reputation as one of most popular boys in school. That meant he had to be at every big event Hogwarts students would be at, so they could continue to fawn over him outside of school as well.

James and Remus were also quite popular, as well as their other friend Peter Pettigrew who was currently late to school again. The four of them made up the Marauders, as they liked to call themselves, and they were beloved by most of the student body.

The three boys entered their classroom and sat down at their usual spots near the back of the class, all of them waiting on Peter. Just as the bell went a short pudgy boy with brown hair and chubby face entered the room, narrowly avoiding detention for being late. He looked around the room, spotted James, Sirius, and Remus, and hurried towards them.

"Peter! Arrived just on time," Sirius exclaimed when Peter sat down. "I'm proud of you mate."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Oh shut up, would you?"

Sirius let out a cackle but did quieten down as the teacher started speaking. James, whose mind was fixed firmly upon the party on Friday night, didn't hear any of what the teacher was saying. He was too busy thinking about what it was going to be like, and who he really wanted to go to the party with. He knew he wouldn't be able to, but still the longing was there, a dull ache that always seemed to follow James around whenever he wasn't with that one special person.

Class went by quickly, as did the next one, and the next, until before James knew it lunch was starting, and Sirius was beckoning him over to the table they always sat on.

"Uh, hang on, I forgot something in my locker," James lied. "I'll be back."

James, free from his friends, travelled through the hallways of the school quickly, eager to see his special person that was waiting for him. He arrived at the door to the top of the school and opened it, the wind slamming into him as soon as he stepped onto the roof.

He didn't care one bit, feeling like he could finally breathe again when his eyes landed on the person at the edge of the roof, staring into the horizon. His person.

"Regulus," James breathed, and the boy turned around, a smile on his face as soon as he spotted James.

Regulus was beautiful. Breathtakingly gorgeous, like an angel sent from heaven just for James. He had soft lucious black curls that were always in prim condition, and ivory white skin with no blemishes in sight. He had one of the sharpest jawlines James had ever seen, with high cheekbones and dark grey eyes that always seemed to draw James in. He was the best thing James had ever seen.

James walked across the roof in quick strides until Regulus was in his arms and he was kissing him, feeling his chest relax and the dull ache leave because he was home. It was addicting, what Regulus made him feel, and James couldn't get enough of it.

"Hey," James greeted softly when they pulled back.

Regulus moved himself further into James's embrace. "Hi."

James stroked his hand through Regulus's hair, feeling like everything was right in the world now that he was with Regulus. "How's your day been?"

Regulus shrugged, burying his head into the crook of James's neck. "It's been okay," was his muffled response.

James took a deep breath, prepearing himself for what he was about to say. "There's a party happen and Gid and Fab's this Friday. I know we can't go together, but would you want to go to the party at the same time I went, so we'd be able to see each other there?"

Regulus took a step back, closing off the way he always did whenever their... situation was mentioned. They'd been together for 12 months, but they'd always kept their relationship a secret. Not because they were both queer; everyone already knew that James was pansexual and Regulus was gay.

No, the reason they hid their relationship was because of Sirius, Regulus Black's brother. They didn't have a good relationship. At one point, years ago, they were like two peas in one pod, but as time went on the abusive household they were both forced to grow up in changed them and turned them against one another. When Sirius left the house and moved in with James a year and a half ago that was the end of their relationship, and now they both pretend the other doesn't exist.

The problem with that is that James loved them both. Sirius was like his brother, his best friend, the one person who really understood him. They could have a whole conversation without talking and always seemed to know what the other was feeling. He was like James's soulmate, the one person who knew all of James's secrets.

Regulus though. He was something different, something from another world. He was the person who made James smile the most, the person he always found himself thinking about. He was the reason James was on this earth; to love Regulus Black, who was made just for James and no one else.

So James was stuck, unable to choose one over the other, meaning his relationship with Regulus was forced to be a secret. Regulus had never been happy about it, but he never stopped it because he knew it was the only way he'd be able to have James. At least for now. James would figure out some way to tell Sirius, eventually, just not any time soon.

"I know it's not the same as going there together," James tried, "but I want to be there with you. No one else. That's why I'm asking you this."

Regulus sighed, glancing up at James through his long lashes. James craved to hold him again, but knew that Regulus needed his space, especially about this. James just hoped that Regulus would say yes; that they would be able to have whatever small pieces of each other that they could.

"I'll think about it," Regulus eventually answered, giving James a tight smile. "I need to go now, though, so I'll see you later."

James watched as Regulus walked away without even a hug goodbye. He knew things were hard for Regulus at home, knew that whenever things got too hard for him he would just switch off and feel nothing. It still hurt, though, seeing Regulus upset and being unable to do anything. Being the reason why he's upset.

James left the roof a few minutes after Regulus, meeting back up with his friends. He laughed with them when Peter made a joke. Pretended to vomit when Remus and Sirius went heavy on the PDA. Returned all of his friend's smiles and pretended to be fine.

In reality he was still thinking about Regulus, hoping he was okay. Regulus, the love of his life. Regulus, his boyfriend. Regulus, Sirius's little brother.

Regulus.