Funerals were the most painful thing in the world.

Words could not express how much Nicolai hated waking up that day. On a couch. That was not hers. In a house that she did not own. Without the love of her life. She might as well have died the days she found out that she had lost Jillian.

But she didn't. Unfortunately for her. Instead she was going to have to face her whole life without seeing her sweet face. Her radiant smile. Her melodious laugh. Her gentle touch.

Florence had made waffles for breakfast that morning with blueberries and white chocolate morsels, just how Nicolai liked them. She ate the entire thing despite her body's disinterest, only for Florence's sake. Nicolai understood what she was doing and she wanted to show her that she appreciated it.

Getting ready was especially harder. Florence had helped her pick out the dress, but it took her longer than anticipated to put it on, staring at it in its entirety for a solid twenty minutes.

The venue was packed with friends and distant family members of the Devereuxs, all sitting in folding chairs on the grass, under the gloomy London sky. Florence and the twins sat five rows back while Nicolai went to join the family in the first row. She distracted herself by letting Cassie sit on her lap, the young girl playing with the lace texture of her dress. And she let her. She was far too young to have to digest what was happening that day.

The funeral of the only parent she and her brother has ever known.

She was called up to say a few words after Mrs. Devereux, Nicolai's heart pumping wildly in her chest.

She looked at the piece of paper she had brought with, then at Jillian's casket. Nicolai sighed, crumpling her prepared speech before speaking in to the microphone.

"Karen Devereux was my mentor," she said first, looking to the children as she did so, "She showed me the world of wizarding medicine and made me develop a fascination for it. This fascination I can now use to help people the way she did, up to her dying breath. She was also a loving sister. She loved Jillian unconditionally, and respected who she was and who she chose to love."

She paused, feeling the tears well up in her eyes, "Jill... what can I say?" she chuckled hollowly, a tear streaking down the side of her cheek, "I love her, with my very being. And I can't say for sure but I hope she loved me the same way. So I don't quite know what to do now that she's not with me."

"I...." she choked out, feeling her emotions flooding out of her system, "I don't.... I don't know what to do. In the mornings, in our old home, she'd make sure I had everything for the day and was prepared before leaving... but she didn't really prepare me for a life without her. That's because we never thought it was something we had to prepare for..."

She broke down crying on the podium, "You'd think it'd be easier to learn to live without her again because I've done it in the past. But Jillian was a the type of person you could never shake once she was on to you.... I'm sure the people she's played Quidditch with here can attest to that..."

A soft chuckle came from the crowd, Nicolai wiping her tears away once more, "I guess that's what I'll miss about her. That and a lot of other things. I'll miss her. I'm not ready to say good bye, to be quite frank. But I'll learn how to.... Lastly. I want to thank everyone who came to the wake, and for those who came today, and those present for all four days. Your love and support is deeply appreciated."

With that, Nicolai's speech ended, stepping away from the podium and joining the Devereuxs at their seats once more. They then took turns at throwing a white rose on top of Jillian and Karen's casket, before they were slowly lowered on to the ground.

It was a solemn moment, as the people who loved the Devereux sisters gathered around to see them for the last time, before the workers started to fill in the hole that they had dug.

Florence and Alexander came up to Nicolai as soon as the guests started leaving at the end of the service, watching Nicolai crouched over Jillian's new tombstone, arranging the flowers around it. She looked up, a small smile on her face as she saw her friends.

"Thanks for being here for the whole thing , you two. I don't know how I would've handled it if you guys weren't here."

"Of course we'd be here. Where else would we be?" Said Florence, who was still teary eyed. Alexander's eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, the man pulling Nicolai and Florence in to a hug as soon as Nicolai stood up. "I love you, Nic. We love you. If there's anything; anything at all that you need.... say the word and we'll help you the best way we can."

"Thank you, Xan. Flo. I'm forever grateful for that." She whispered to the two, holding them even tighter in their small group hug.

                                         ————

Florence had to go to work promptly after the funeral. She had already missed several days of training, and she could not, in good conscience, miss one more, as she already felt severely behind on everything.

Thankfully, Hadley was more than enthusiastic to catch her up on things, the two quickly working through the things she missed even before training could even start. She insisted on warm ups first.

"I don't think Mr. Price is gonna hound you too much on the days that you've missed." Hadley pointed out, "He knows why you've been out, and its pretty excusable too."

"Well see," Florence grunted, twisting her back and hearing a small pop, "I'm getting off really easy because we're related. I don't feel comfortable with that and I think others are starting to notice. Like Nepotism of some sort..."

"Well its not Nepotism when you got the spot before Mr. Price was assigned to his position," said Hadley, helping Florence stretch by grabbing her hands as she sat on the ground, pulling her body forward, "So, not nepotism."

She groaned, "I know it's technically not Nepotism. Fred and George have been calling it that a lot it was the first term that came to mind."

"Look, if someone complains that you are being let off the hook for the days you were gone, I'm going to remind them that you got stabbed just to get some of them out of that building during the compromised dry run. And if that's not enough to shut them up, I'll kick their asses."

Florence smiled, "Thank you Hadley."

"Anytime," she smiled back, her face settling in to a more solemn look a few seconds later, "So... how is your friend holding up? Nicole...?"

"Lai. Nicolai. And she's devastated. I mean, unlike me she opens up about how she's really feeling so we can give her support on that but I wish I could do more for her."

"She lost her greatest love..." Hadley said, "That couldn't be easy, could it? I mean, I've had break ups, one quite recently, but.... its not the same. Her girlfriend isn't just somewhere else she's gone... That's such a scary thing to think of."

"Yet she had to live it," Florence sighed. "No one deserves to live that experience."

"Hey, maybe if she's free you two can have lunch here or something. You know, just to lift her spirits. I'm sure she wouldn't want to be alone during these next few days."

"That's actually a very good idea. Then you could meet Nic too. I think you and her would get along well."

"Yeah? I'd love to meet her."

After the stretching, they were disappointed to find out that they were going to be in a lecture for the rest of the day. The senior Aurors had been planning an operation, meaning that they needed the training room to spar and prepare.

Florence would glance out the window of the lecture room from time to time, watching the senior Aurors  bustling around in their sharp-looking grey uniforms. That was going to be her future, she thought, being one of the front liners in the war that was brewing. Maybe she didn't have two more years to prepare. With the news they receive everyday, the future was getting bleaker and bleaker.

She had already had a near death experience a few months ago. Florence was aware that it was going to be the first of many.

And she couldn't help but think of Fred, and the ring on her finger. His promise of his love for her. She thought back to Nicolai, her heart feeling heavy. What if she'd die in the middle of an operation? How was Fred going to take it? How was the love of her life going to deal with the fact that she's gone?

She went home distracted that day, forgetting to pick up some ice cream like George had asked before she left for work in the morning.

The lack of ice cream in her hands made George frown as Florence entered the shop, looking heavily defeated, "They didn't have the flavor I wanted?" he asked, making Florence stop in her tracks.

"Hm?"

"The ice cream...."

"Shoot..." she said, bringing the palm of her hand to her forehead, "I'm sorry, George. I forgot to stop by. It's been a long day."

He looked at Florence's face with concern, "Hey it's no problem I can get it myself. Are you quite alright, Flo? You look a little worse for wear."

"Yeah," she dismissed with a small smile, "Just a long day. Had to sit on my arse and listen to a bloody lecture. Felt like Hogwarts all over again."

"Was it like a Binns lecture or a McGonagall lecture?"

Florence pondered momentarily, "A good middle, I would say... Is Fred upstairs?"

"Yes, sorting through mounds and mounds of delivery paperwork. Go on up there and save him from it."

"Roger that."

There he was, on the couch, crouching over stacks of papers on the coffee table, his back towards her. He hadn't heard her come in to the door, as he had not budged from his position. Setting her bag down by the door, she crept over to the couch, encircling her arms around Fred before planting a kiss on his head, "So serious there..."

"Hey, you." he said, in a breath of relief, turning his head to plant a kiss on her arm, "How was Auror business?"

"Exhausting. It was lecture day. George said these delivery paperwork is giving you a hard time?"

She felt him nod, "Yeah, they didn't give us enough of this one ingredient we need for the Nosebleed nougats. So we're going to be short on Snack boxes for awhile unless they get it to us in three days... which I doubt."

"That's very unfortunate... take a break from that for a bit, yeah? I can make you something for dinner...?"

"No, its okay. We still have some leftovers. You look tired, I'm not going to make you cook."

"Hey, its fine," Florence said, plopping down on the couch beside him, "I'm always happy to."

"I know... but I'm okay." he smiled, leaning his head against her shoulder.

"It's almost the holidays." Florence said, after a beat of comfortable silence, "Winds are growing colder by the day. Before you know it it'll be winter."

"Mm. Our first Christmas living together..." Fred smiled, "I'm excited."

"Me too..." she said, playing with fingers as she slipped in to a trance, Fred looking at her, "You look thoughtful. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing really... I'm just thinking about how I want to spend every single Christmas with you starting this year. And New Year's too. And every other holiday."

"Well, we will get to do that. After all, we're getting married and everything. We'll have all the holidays in the world to spend together."

"I hope so." she mumbled, making him frown in confusion, sitting up immediately. "Hey, we will. Why wouldn't we get to?"

"I don't know.... Fred, aren't you scared?"

"Of what?"

"Of ending up like Nicolai..."

This silenced the two of them, Florence looking away momentarily, "I mean, it's nearly happened. What if it actually does."

Fred chuckled nervously, trying to lighten the mood, "Florence, you're not going to die."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do," he pressed, "It's not going to happen."

"Jillian was a Healer. Out of immediate danger. Yet she still died from all of this. I'm an Auror. I'm going to be out there fighting and—"

"Jillian was also in the Order. That's why."

"I'm also in the Order. Fred, aren't you scared?"

"No, because that's not gonna happen to you, Florence." he insisted, a hint of determination in his voice, "That's not gonna happen to us. I promise you. We're gonna have all our holidays, my love."

But Fred was scared. The thought of losing her was something he couldn't even think of without going a little bit crazy. He knew she needed reassurance, after seeing her best friend bury the girl she loved. Because she chose a life where she was always going to be in danger. Because she herself has lost very important people to the wars.

He wasn't going to tell her how scared he was, though. It was the one way he could help her. To ease her worries about the future. Their future. He was going to suppress his own fears so he could take her fears and doubts away.

Florence looked in to his eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes. He was her comfort, her home. She would never want him to feel the pain that Nicolai felt the day they went to her and Jillian's home to tell her that Jill was gone. But she had a bigger duty to fulfill. The same one her parents died for; The greater good.

"I want to help people, Fred. It's what I think I was born to do."

"I know that," he said, taking her hand in his, "I'm never going to ask you to give that up. I'm never gonna ask that of you." he reassured, "And even with that, we'll still get our holidays."

"I love you." Florence sighed, burying herself in his embrace. "I love you."

"I love you too, Florence." he said, hugging her tighter, "Please don't think about things like this too much." He kissed her head.

"We'll be fine. You'll be fine. I promise."