Life. 

That's been uncertain to her. 

Love.

That betrayed her.

And in between these she somehow lost so much, so much more than she afforded.

A smile plays on her lips when she looks ahead at the clear sky a cluster of clouds filling it slowly.

A sigh left her trembling lips.

A sigh silver-lined with agony.

Her hands didn't stop mixing the cake batter. The vanilla smell fills the kitchen. Zaman was out for a walk, meanwhile, she decided to bake.

That's her therapy.

Settling the oven she walked back to the couch she had been sitting on all day, covering herself in the black hoodie that smelled like home to her.

Zamaan's hoodie.

A smile dances on her lips. The memory of their first meeting blurred her mind.

Her blue eyes clashed with his amber ones.

They were kids back then.

He saved her from falling when she missed one of the stairs.

That was the first.

That was the beginning.

The first time they met after years of stealing glances was when Shamir and Fatimah's alliance got fixed.

The baithak was filled, all the eyes upon them when Nawab Shah announced that.

Her eyes never left him looking for something.

He gave that to her.

A trust.

An approval.

She trusted him, for years, with her family, with her life, with her heart.

A gulp.

With the din of footsteps and the room filled with his warmth, she blinked, twice. He walks to the couch, taking her in his embrace.

"How are you feeling now?" Zamaan asked with a soft smile, she nodded.

"I don't know how long I can stay here Baby. They need me." He whispered slowly into her hair, she nodded again.

They need him, and he needs to go. Like always.

She needed him too, she needed him to stay. Like always.

"I baked a cake," Aarzu whispers softly, and he smiles. She is at least trying.

"I asked you not to, you don't have to do anything."

"I am used to it,"

"Now you don't have to." He said cautiously, if anything he didn't want to trigger her now.

"Because you suddenly decided to accept me as your wife?"

"You were and will always be my wife Aarzu Zamaan Shah. Things were not in my control, people were after your life, so I had to take you away from me."

"A decade. Ek arsa. Kaafi lamba waqt hota hai Zamaan."

"Hume malum hai, Hume khud intezaar kiya hai apka."

She nodded and walked to the oven hearing the ding. The cake is done. She cut a piece, garnished it with whipped cream and walked back to him. He took it from her and had a bite.

She blinks, her mind plays the night again.

The car, the blood, the gunshot, the amber eyes she saw that night, the ancestor ring with ruby.

She blinked twice her blue orbs shine but never left his hands, the fingers adoring the ancestor ruby ring.

"The cake is nice." He said and she nodded.

He breathes looking at her, staring at his rings. He closed his eyes.

He forgot the ring.

Last day he booked the flight in a hurry, he was too eager to meet her and their baby. He shouldn't have.

Her blue eyes clashed with his amber ones.

Pain again fear.

And suddenly it happened.

A breathlessness.

His throat clogged, eyes blurred.

He shivered and sweated.

The plate fell off his hands and he looked at her.

Aarzu.

His love.

She smiles, with love dancing on her lips.

With tears blurring her blue eyes. She slowly slides towards him hugging him.

His home.

She smiles, with hatred filled in her eyes.

"Aarzu." He calls, in a plea, in hope.

"Hum nahi chahte the, kabhi nahi chaha, ap un logon jaisa bane. Lekin ap toh humesha se hi waise the. Hum, toh samjhte the ap Aarzu ke Maan hai, lekin ap toh humesha se hi sirf aur sirf Nawab Zamaan Shah they."

"Hum Nawab tab se hai jab se hum paida huye hai Aarzu, aur ek Nawab riyasat ke liya kuch bhi kar sakta hai."

"Jante hai Maan, yeh baat humse behtar aur kaun hi janta hoga."

He blinked twice but his eyes filled with blurriness.

"Ap-"

"Hum uss car mein the jab Abba ka qatal huya."

At that moment, with her uttering those words, he fell to the ground.

He shook his head. No. In denial, in hope. No, she can't be there.

She wasn't supposed to know, not now, not ever.

"Hum samjha sakte hai apko."

"Hum sab samjh chuke hai Zamaan." She said holding his hand, her fingers ceasing the ruby ring with a tender touch.

"Aarzu I-"

"Riyasat mein koi kisi ka saga nahi hota. Riyasat toh sirf Shah ki thi, aur hamesha Shah ki hi rahegi." She smiles, and his breath falls short.

"He killed my father, Aarzu, I—I lost my Waalid too."

"You started it, Nawab Shahab. My father killed yours because your father shot him first. After all, he wants the estate for you, to secure the future throne for you."

"Aarzu-"

"Satranj ka usool hai Nawab Shah, jeet uski jiski maat."

"I love yo—" He couldn't complete it, she didn't want him to either.

"Ruh lutayi thi humne apne, apke Sanson par tabse humara haq hai. Aur hum apse woh sansein cheente hai."

His hands fall upon her stomach, and she smiles.

The breezes ceased, and the moon sighed.

Lovers are sinners after all, and in between love and revenge, revenge won.

Love didn't die, but it was lost in hands filled with blood that smells like vanilla, that feels like home.

"Khoon ka badla khoon, dard ka badla dard,"

His amber eyes clash with her blue ones.

Pain against pain.

Lifelessly.

-------

LIFE IS UNCERTAIN. But one thing Aarzu always knew, was the importance of power. 

The throne. Riyast joh sirf ek Shah ki hi hogi. She vividly remembers her father's words. 

She remembers him saying, "Mohabbat ke usool sabse juda hote hai, magar mohabbat riyast sey badi nahi hoti,"

She remembers her brother following it as well and losing his life, right in front of her. For he had sinned to love.

She remembers the amber eyes, haunting her now and then. For she had sinned to love.

She remembers those eyes, as the breeze softs kisses her face, she looks out through the open balcony of the baithak. The very place she lost so much, the place she rules now.

Her eyes catch the two figures, two munchins of ten summers, Azhar and Azman, running around the vast land. Zaheer running behind them, as usual.

It's been more than a decade. She took over the throne after her husband. She ruled the land as she always meant to be. After all, her Abba trained her well.

Dadashaheb, smiled the day it was decided, a smile that held so much in it. As if he knew it would happen. As if he knew, the sinners had paid. He wasn't surprised when Aarzu said she would take over the throne.

For Aarzu Zamaan Shah had made her choices clear, a long back.

Love ruined lives.

And, lovers are sinners.

It ruined theirs, And they paid the price.

It was almost maghrib when She walked through the empty corridors of the Shah Haweli drowning in the darkness slowly switching the lights on, filling it to life, like she had always done.

Her anklets jiggle and echo through the halls, and she suddenly bumped into someone. Someone with familiar amber eyes and a known smile.

Their eyes collide.

Pain against grief.

A sudden pang hits her and she conceals it with a smile.

"I thought you were with the kids?" She asked he nodded.

"I was then I was going to visit your room."

"Oh! Walk with me?"

"Does it ever bother you?" He asked out of nowhere, she smiled.

"A decade of pain Zaheer, A decade of pain was too hard to forget."

"And what about the betrayal?" He asked looking at her.

"We don't talk about it here, or ever." She smiles.

"Tum kabhi Heer ki Aarzu thi bhi?"

"Tumne kabhi apne mohabbat ki aarzu ki bhi?"

He smiles, painfully. He never did that. He never voiced it. He never needed to, he was never allowed to.

He slowly walks near her, to her ear and whispers, "The coumarin tastes like vanilla."

And with that he walks inside, leaving her there, standing with her back touching the walls.

She smiles, he knows, he always knew.

She didn't know how long she stood there until he came out and bowed at her

She nodded.

She is the Queen, after all.

She slowly walks inside and smiles looking at the painting.

"It looks good." She whispers in the air.

The portrait of her, with blue eyes and the background table has a vase, filled with white little flowers.

She smiles.

White flowers that contain coumarin.

"It's visible isn't it?" His voice came from behind as the warmth filled the room, she nodded.

"You still can't prove it." She said walking to him, sitting on his lap.

"I never intend to. I never need to." He said softly smiling at her holding her by the waist, kissing her lips a little hard.

"The room is not locked, Nawab Shah."

"Arey kisi ki itni himmat kaha jo Begum Shah ke kamre aye who bina iss waqt."

"Zaheer ki hai. He knows by the way." She said putting her head on his shoulder.

"He always knew Aarzu, why are you even thinking of it?"

"He never voiced it until now."

"Maybe because he never knew what the white flowers hold or what smells like vanilla," She looks at him laughing at that.

Her blue eyes filled with tears, he wipes them off with his thumb and wheels his chair towards the open window.

"Maan" She calls still sitting on his lap.

"Yes, Baby?" He softly ceases her face. Oh, how he had loved these.

"You forgive me?"

"That depends, did you forgive me?"

"I can never." She said with truth evident in her voice, he smiled.

"I can never too."

"Then why did you let me rule."

"For the same reason, you didn't let me die."

He smiles, she smiles.

Lover had paid for their sins.

"I didn't let you die because that would have killed me too. I wanted my revenge and-"

"-and you got your, Apko riyasat chahiye thi who apko mil gyi, humko ap chahiye thi, ap hume mil gyi."

"Ap nafrat nahi karte?"

"Naseeb wale hote hai woh log jinhe maut apne Mehbooba ke haathon mile. Aur ap humari mohabbat hai Aarzu Begum, ap Aarzu Zamaan Shah hai."

"Maan ap-"

"Hum naraz the Aarzu, ap ko riyasat chahiya tha toh ap maang leti humse."

"Ap nahi de pate."

"Isliya hum naraz nahi hai apse, kyunki hum bhi jante hai, hum kabhi nahi de pate."

"Toh ab ap-"

"Riyasat ke usool pure kiyye hai apne Aarzu. Dard ka badla dard aur khoon ka badla khoon.

"Ap?"

"Agar dard hume huya toh royi toh ap bhi hai, agar humne kuch khoya toh apne use zyada hi khoya hai.
Humara haq banta hai narazgi ka, lekin apse mohabbat ussey kai zyada hai hume."

"I couldn't have forgiven you,"

"I know."

"I couldn't even let it without my revenge."

"I know."

Aarzu ki ruh toh Zamaan ke pas tha
Aur Maan ki sansein, Aarzu thi.

Woh juda, gunhegaar the,
Par mohbbat thi.
Unki mohabbat, Aarzu e mohabbat
Dard bhali, riyasat ke riwazon se lipti huyi

Arson ka intezaar tha
Barson ka dard tha
Aur Mohabbat unn badi thi

Badla tha, riyasat ki bhookh thi
Khoon tha, dhokha tha, aur dard tha

Judai thi, aur tha Ishq bhi

Joh bhi tha, unka tha
Sirf unka.

Kisne kisko maaf Kiya, kisne kisko dard diya
Inn sabse badi ek aur baat thi
Joh baat unki sachayi thi
Woh thi Mohabbat

Aarzu e mohabbat

Joh unse Maan se Kiya tha

Aarzu ka Maan

Their eyes collide, and she smiles.

Blue against amber, love against love.

She hugs him tight, this feels like home, this smells like love.

A call from the side and they smiled, their kids were here, and she let him go, he wheels towards them and they sat near his wheelchair.

A decade passed, and that day she didn't add the whole bottle, she never intended to.

She took over the throne and ruled ever since.

Zamaan's leg nerves got paralysed, and he said he wanted Aarzu to have the throne.

Zaheer never cared about it, his loyalty always lied to these two people. His brother and his beloved.

The kids grew up watching Zamaan being the best father, something she knew he would always be. She sighs.

Riyast ek Shah ko mili.

The wind passed leaving a smile on her face as she looked at the portrait of an old family, she saw Firdaus smiling at her.

Love might lose a battle or two, but it never dies, never in the hands of lovers.

Sinners paid their piece but love lives, forever.

And for a love like theirs, powers rule the throne, now Aarzu Zamaan does have that.

-------

We are finally done with this story after ages. I am so sorry and if you're still reading this, I can't tell you how glad I am.

Thank you

Love, Kefimysa