THE MORNING CAME with the usual chaos, Ayesha, as usual, was busy in the kitchen with the breakfast preparations. Last night no one talked about what happened, but this morning there will talking. She was sure of it. And as she was almost done, Sameer entered the kitchen with an empty cup, which must be the coffee he had late at night.

She smiles at his greeting, "Morning, Ayehsa."

She puts the pan on the stove for his morning coffee, he smiles looking at her. When he looks back now, he can't remember a time she wasn't there for him, for them. She had given up on so many things just for a relationship that happened over a courting period of just six months, she had just been shifted to Delhi after her new. And what after that? That's a question he asks himself quite often.

"What are you thinking?" Ayesha's voice brings him back to the present.

She handed him the cup of coffee and took hold of her chai and started walking towards the hall, she had called for work from home today.

He followed her behind and took a seat next to her by the ottoman near the couch, he smiled, "I was thinking of the day when Kabeer brought you home for the first time."

"That was quite a day, it's already been more than a year to that." She smiles at the memory, her eyes fixed on the photo staring at her.

"It has been, but to be honest, it doesn't feel like that."

"I know, I am glad I attended that stupid party along with my friend."

"You mean the ditcher?" He said with a laugh, well her friend did ditch her that day in the boring party.

"Don't call her that!" She laughed hard.

"She did ditch you there."

"Well, thanks to her I get to meet you."

"I still remember the night you know, you were wearing that black dress totally twining with my brother."

"Now now that was an accident."

"I don't believe you at all."

"You should."

"You know he told me that he loves you, I wasn't shocked, anyone who knows you, even a bit, is bound to love you, that's given."

That's true, Ayesha won't agree though but that's true.

"You also know me," She said and the next moment looked at him, she shouldn't have.

"And what makes you think I don't love you?" He laughs, but she doesn't miss his tone, she knows he loves her like a friend, more than that, like a confidant.

"Sameer!"

"Not going there babe, don't worry, I cherish our friendship way too much."

"I know."

"Of course you do."

"You can ask me you know"

"About that guy? Well you can tell me if you want to" He shrugs as he speaks, he is not in a hurry.

"What do you want to know?"

"Is he the one?"

"My ex? Yes, he is."

"You talked to him?"

"I don't want to, he is not-"

"He is not?"

"He is not the same Sameer, he is not the guy I fell in love with, and neither am I. We have changed, life happened to us."

"So you changed? I really want to know how was you, back then." She laughed at his words and he followed that.

"His girlfriend wasn't like this at all, she was a poetic soul but trust me she was so lost in him."

"That's not a good thing?"

"Sameer, it's just, that I put a lot in that relation than I gained. It was never about us, it was always about him. So when I look back, I can say, we are not the same individuals anymore who fell in love with one another."

Sameer wanted to ask so much more about Amaan Sahani, the guy he saw for the first time on her photos memory notification, a photo of a teenage Ayesha hugging him by the side, laughing ear to ear with eyes gleaming with love and happiness. He has clicked many photos of Ayesha and Kabeer, and many more of just her, and even the happiest photos of her miss something there. The innocent gleam.

Perhaps that was the change Ayesha was talking about a moment back, the innocent love. He wants to ask, what went wrong, what he ruined that she can never be healed from? But he didn't voice it, because if anything, he knows better than anyone else, that she is mourning.

Few minutes later, she walks to the terrace and Sameer follows her carrying the basket full of washed clothes that need to be hung there. She started with her tasks while Sameer sat on the railings.

"Ayesha?" He calls her softly she smiles looking at him.

"I want to ask you something," His voice was cautious, he didn't want to hurt her anyway.

"What?"

"Amma wants my alliance to be fixed with Mahi." She gasps, she blinks, another knot tied to them, another loss her way.

"You can get to know if you like her-" She started but he put a finger on her lips.

"I already said no." He says with a smile, she shakes her head.

"You shouldn't have Sameer. At least get to know her first."

"Ayesha."

"What?"

"Why are you still here?"

"Because your brother promised me to be my home. And with him gone, I lost my home, again. You should never make a person your home, for when they are gone, you are just a lost soul. A vagabond wandering around with nowhere to go."

"Ayesha?" He calls her softly touching her forearm, the sky turns gloom witnessing her smile.

"I never deserved this pain, I never did." Sameer gulps hearing her voice breaking, he never witnessed that before.

Ayesha Shah crying.

Not when she changed her job.

Not when she shifted to Delhi.

Not when his brother left.

Not when he sent his last letter addressed to her.

But only once.

Once, when they brought him wrapped in the Tricoloured flag.

When Amma shook her hard yet she kept her eyes fixed upon him, Kabeer. Then he witnessed, a drop of pearl falling from her eyes, then another and it didn't stop for that night.

But the next morning she was back, with her stoic fame, running around the hospital corridor for Amma and taking care of everything. Sameer never understands why she did that. Why did she choose to stay? She could've left, she had an offer letter in her hand, and she had no reason to stay.

But she did.

As if Amma had been her responsibility ever since that day. As if her brother left her tied up in knots.

"Why didn't you leave?" He finally asked.

She smiled, "Because of Kabeer and his promises." He nodded.

"You won't ask anything else?" She asked with a soft smile.

He smiled, the soft drizzles makes her hurry to collect the hung clothes, he helped her and she then looks at her side.

Her steps halted and he saw her gulp, then he slowly turned her towards himself, putting of a hand just above her midriff, "Because I once promised someone your happiness." She gulps he knows, she nodded.

"I know, and we are in this togethere." She nodded and smiled in gratitude.

No one knows, except Amma and now Sameer.

She wants to keep the baby, she wants it more than anything else now. The one looking at then from the terrace next to theirs knows it.

She was standing by the railings, soft breezes playing with her black waves, kissing her face, her red highlights faded into a light shade of brown, she's yet to get a retouch, while being lost in that thought her eyes go to the terrace next to hers, she blinks, once, twice, in hope that what she is seeing is just another mirage, just like every other time. She honestly wished it to be, but it wasn't.

She gulps the lump formed in her throat, eyes blurred with tears, and even the sane part of her mind keeps on telling her to move away from the window and close it, she couldn't, she didn't, just like her heart.

She stood there, watching him after what felt like eons. It has been that, more than half a decade.

His charcoal black eyes, his smile seemed a little dimmed to her, him.

He has changed. So has she.

But heart? It wants what it wants.

And often it wasn't lucky enough to get it. Like love, like him.

So she stood there, watching him, capturing him in the curtain of her eyes, for the cold nights, for memories, for eternity, for the love they shared, once.

They stood there, in a distance of some feet yet they knew, they are a lifetime apart.

And in those few minutes, he knew, something happened after they parted ways, something that Ayesha Shah will name as adulting or just life's way of telling you that the carefree days are gone.

Little did he knew, it was him. It was them. Their separation broke her in ways she never imagined. And that made her what she is now.

Ayesha Shah, smiling through her pain.

And Armaan Sahani hated it, perhaps a little part of him hated himself of the very reason as well, but he will never voice that.

He couldn't.

For his love affair with Ayesha was an old tale now, and if even a part of him will always have those feelings alive, he knows it very well to keep that part buried, deep in his her, deeper in his soul.

For that love will cost him a lot more than he can afford. He's a coward, and he will accept that.

In this case, that's the truth, and that's the reality.