I slam our bedroom door as I hear the front door slam the same way. It's not like this is anything new, it's all we do lately, to the point where I don't even know what we're fighting for. 

How did we get to this point? We used to joke about how scary it was that we never argued. Now I'm always crying, and you're never even here, because it's all we do. I constantly wake up to hearing the front door close quietly at one in the morning, and continue to pretend I'm asleep as you climb into bed. It calms me, yet worries me at the same time. You seem to always come back, but what happens when you don't? 

What will I do when you decide you've had enough, and you never come back, not even for your things? It seems like we're fighting for fun at this point, to the point where we can't talk to each other, in fear of starting another fight. To the point where I'm scared to recommend couples therapy, no matter how much we obviously need it, because I know you'll tell me that we don't need any help. 

You get under my skin so much, and yet at night, when you come back, and you hold me as I pretend to sleep, I forget about our constant fighting, because you're here and you came back even though I was sure you wouldn't this time, and I'm sure you won't next time even though I know somewhere in me that you will, because you always do. And I always let you because despite the pain and the misery, we've been with each other since we were ten, and we know we'll never leave. 

Because we keep on coming back for more.