Trigger Warning: Self-Harm and death

I watched as they lowered his casket into the ground. I stood there for hours after everyone else left. "I will see you soon."

Yes, I do, I believe that one day I will be
Where I was, right there, right next to you.

I walked away from the grave and got into my car. "How am I gonna live without you?"

And it's hard, the days just seem so dark, the moon and the stars are nothing without you.

I drove home as fast as I could, not caring about the speed limit or red lights, surrounded by complete silence.

Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?
No words can explain the way I'm missing you.

No more listening to you singing when you think I'm not listening.

Deny, this emptiness this hole that I'm inside, these tears, they tell their own story.

No more Superfruit. No more Pentatonix. I feel the tears start to fall down my face as I see my apartment complex.

Told me not to cry when you were gone, but the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong.

I pull into the parking lot, turn off the car, get out, and walk in. I push the elevator button and walk in when it opens immediately. I push the level 7 button and listen to the rumble of the elevator moving. I get out when the door opens. I get to our apartment and just stand there.

Can I lay by your side? Next to you, you
And make sure you're alright, I'll take care of you, I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight.

I didn't realize how hard it'd be to come back here. This is where so much happened. Where we ate Ice Cream and watched Spongebob after Travis ended it. Where we decided to get Wyatt. Where you helped me get ready for my first date with Alex. So many memories come back to this place.

I'm reaching out to you, can you hear my call? This hurt that I've been through, I'm missing you, missing you like crazy.

I open the door, ignoring Wyatt meowing, wondering where you are. I open your door, walk to your closet and grab one of your sweaters, and lay on your bed.

Can I lay by your side? Next to you, you. And make sure you're alright, I'll take care of you, I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight.

I then walk into the bathroom, still with your sweater. I grab a razor and look at it. I press it to my wrist. I see drops of blood surfacing. I do this again.

Lay me down tonight.

Again.

Lay me by your side.

Again.

Lay me down tonight.

Four red lines. They hurt, but feel so much better than the pain of losing you.

Lay me by your side.

I grab a bottle of pills and swallow the whole bottle.

Can I lay by your side?

I go back to your room and lay on your bed again. "I can't wait to see you, Mitchie." I say.

Next to you.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

You.