Stories up for Critique from September 17-30

Karimsuliman - Bermuda, prologue + chapters 1-3

Total word count: 6000. Subgenre: adventure/action/mystery. Highest Rank: #1 in sci-fi. No graphic sex or violence. Target audience: adults.

I'm happy Karim has agreed to participate in this group despite being a very busy Wattpad superstar. Karim is a self-made writer who has not participated much in critique groups. However, he aims to publish traditionally, so he knows he needs to improve his writing to industry standards. 

When Karim started writing Bermuda (almost 2 years ago), he was sticking to the strategy "Write now, edit later," but later regretted this. Although Karim does have some grammar and spelling errors due to speaking English as a second language, he's primarily seeking insights about the plot itself and the characters. 

sdfrost61 - The Rock, chapter 1.1 - 3.3

Total word count: 8700. Subgenre: Otherworlds/adventure. Highest Rank: #167 in sci-fi. No graphic sex or violence. Target audience: adults. 

Stephen has been a superstar in this writing group, so let's make sure we give him an excellent critique and hopefully bump up his story to the top #20 in sci-fi so he can attract more readers. 

Stephen has three requests from critics: 

1. It's a first person point of view. Do you think this POV works?

2. The protagonist has a character arc that starts off (in the first three chapters at least) as defeated, depressed, etc., which results from solitary confinement. This will slowly change, but do you think he's about right for a person condemned to solitary on an asteroid (i.e., not too dark, or not depressed enough)? Is it too gloomy to read? Not gloomy enough?

3. Prose style. Is the prose engaging?

IMPORTANT NOTE - point system has changed!

To earn your points, you must report back here after you've finished your critique. All critiques are now worth 25 points. Observation/reader reports are mandatory. They can be long or short (minimum 200 characters). People who participate by commenting on other reports by other critters will be awarded additional points.

Critiquing Reminder

No judgements, only observations. We are all here to help each other succeed in our writing. What isn't your cup of tea will be somebody's feast!

Describe: What's going on? What are you experiencing as you read?

Interpret: What do you think the author was intending? Where do you think it's headed?

Evaluate: Is it working? WHY? (don't forget the 'because' in your criticism. "It's not working because dada-dada-dada." YOU MUST SAY WHY something is or is not working.

Consider: Setting, Plot, Characterisation, Pace, Writing Quality, Dialogue, Theme, etc.

Accepting Criticism Reminder

Be quiet and listen.

Don't defend your writing! Don't respond to negative criticism if you feel upset about it. Take a break and come back to it later. We all have bad days. Don't look at criticism when you're having a bad day.

Appreciate and be grateful to your critics -- they have taken their time to read your writing and give you their thoughts! Remember, they aren't trying to hurt you or take you down. We are all here to help each other succeed in our writing.

IF you feel capable of responding to criticism, then focus on what you've learned from the critique. If you feel comfortable you may try to explain why you did something, and ask for ideas on how you might do it better in the next draft, from their perspective. But again, don't get defensive and start explaining why it's great the way it is. Accept the person didn't see or understand what you were trying to do.

Take what works for you and leave the rest behind.

Have fun!