Deneb Betelgeuse led his news team across the rocky, broken surface of Leviathan, the fifth planet orbiting the recently discovered star, Gobux. Deneb was the second most popular reporter on QARK, and he hoped this series of reports would make him number one. Deneb was a shapeshifter from Lyka, and shifted into a wolf. His sultry good looks, golden yellow eyes, dark hair, and air of mystery helped his popularity with fans, especially those who had far-fetched and unlikely romantic notions about werewolves and their mating rituals (dating apps, like the rest of us).

Following him was Polydora, his camera and equipment operator. Polydora hailed from Amazonica. She was 289 pounds and 6'6" of bone and muscle, able to tote her own weight at a full run for some distance. She hauled the equipment and, occasionally, Deneb ("our meal ticket") out of danger, if he didn't shift first and outrun her. The tech, ferry pilot, and general handyman was Nurt Wyly, an Earther from Venus who could keep any machine running and flying.

The last, but not least, member of this investigative crew was Stu, a black and white Earth rooster modified for telepathy. For unexplainable scientific reasons, only roosters could be modified for telepathy, and QARK Team 2 had drawn Stu. He was beyond valuable for communicating with alien species, sentient or animal.

Polydora had heard much of the fabled Earth Chicken, which everything was supposed to taste like, collected every recipe she could find for cooking chicken, and eating one was her gastronomic life goal. Stu quickly convinced Polydora that he was a rooster, not a chicken, and swore on his mother's egg that there was a difference. As hard as it is for a psy to lie, Stu liked his job out of the food chain and meant to keep it. However, the strain caused Stu to molt in patches, and he'd lost all of his tail feathers.

The GSS Dauntless, Vice-Admiral Zelly Aura commanding, had found and claimed the star system for the Orion Alliance, and performed preliminary explorations during the previous cycle. Lt. Jaz Bolo, exobiologist on the Dauntless, was in charge of exploring Leviathan's flora and fauna. He was a Lewis Carroll fan, and had named many of the planet's animals, plants, landforms, and ecosystems after Carroll's whimsical creations.

"Minkar, Deneb here, how is the vidfeed?" Deneb asked his producer.

"Clear, and the sound is good," Minkar answered from the QARK studio, floating above Leviathan. "The Dauntless is tracking, and Adm. Aura has a ground crew ready to teleport if needed. She and her officers are watching on their view screens. You're about 500 feet from the octopus egg mass, and it's ready to hatch. This hatching is going to be a contender for news vid of the year. Half the Orion Alliance is waiting to find out how this ecosystem survives, since there are almost no plants...About two minutes to hatching. The mother octopuses are wreathing and writhing and the eggs are twitching. Remember to use your reporter voice."

"Right-0," said Deneb, switching to the velvet baritone of his reporter voice. "Signing off. Let's move it, gang."

"Gyreing and gimbleing," said Jaz. "NOT wreathing and writhing, the proper terms are gyreing and gimbleing. And it's toves, not eggs."

"I'll remember that," said Deneb. "Let's get there before the hatching." Deneb switched to wolf. Stu hopped on his back as he raced to the Wabe, the name Jaz gave the nesting area. Polydora caught up to Jaz and carried him and the cameras to the Wabe. Nurt arrived last.

Deneb moved instinctively to the most photogenic spot, with the sun and storm clouds behind him, and the mass of giant, curling octopus arms and eggs stretching to the horizon. He switched back to human, checked his appearance on his com screen through a link from Polydora's camera, and well-satisfied, struck a pose. He knew he looked good, and the hatching behind him would make history.

"I wonder if octopuses taste like chicken," said Polydora hungrily. Stu lost a feather.

Aura's voice came through the link. "Stu, what readings do you get from the octopuses and eggs?" Direct and to the point, one reason she was one of the most decorated sailors in the starship service.

"No, Admiral," Stu said, his squeaky, clucking voice picked up by the com he wore around his neck. "Just emotions like anxiety, excitement, and mother love."

"It's about to happen," Jaz yelled. "Get ready!"

"Minkar," Deneb said, "the hatching is about to begin."

"You're live in three," Minkar said, "Three, two, one."

"Hello, from Leviathan," Deneb used his most impressive baritone. "It's brillig here on the Wabe, the nesting ground of the giant octopuses of Leviathan. As you can view behind me, an extremity of octopuses are here for the hatching. The slithy Toves are gyreing and gimbleing. Space Marshal Yildan will update us on the capture of a frumiousing Bandersnatch, and reports that a Jabberwock has been spotted." He wished QARK's number one reporter, Vara Syno, no luck with her live, on-air interview with Yildan, who made watching paint dry exciting.

"There!" said Deneb, with a wolf growl, causing the hearts of billions of watching fans to beat faster. "The first tove is cracking. Its mother, all 2000 pounds of her, is watching protectively." A tove twice the size of Polydora cracked and an arm poked through, waved around and darted back inside its shell. The shell cracked open, and a new-hatched giant octopus raised its head and looked out on Leviathan. Its mother poked it with five of her eight arms, and the newbie slid away, moving behind the rocks. Another egg cracked in a different nest, and its mother shooed it away. Soon most of the octopuses hatched, and began exploring their new world.

Leviathan had very little standing water, and the octopuses lived in and under dirt and mud, of great interest to the Orion Alliance, who hoped to terraform the world for settlement since there was no sentient race. There was very little fauna, and most of the animals seemed to live by eating each other.

Deneb moved over to a remaining egg, a little smaller than him. Jaz signaled him. "We're going to collect this tove to take to the Dauntless, Adm. Aura commanding, for research." He patted the egg. "Lead exobiologist Lt. Bolo will take charge of the tove."

Nurt switched to the drone, and took Polydora's camera, freeing her to carry the tove. She helped Jaz pry it out of the dirt and hefted it to one shoulder. The tove shivered.

Jaz looked into the distance, and said something to Deneb over the com.

"Those black birds flying in behind me are Jubjub birds, which prey upon the octopuses, their eggs and young. We are going to return to QARK, and will report again when the QARK is docked on the Dauntless. Back to you, Minkar."

Minkar took over the report as Deneb signed off, and the team headed to the ferry. A loud hissing made them look back. The mother octopus was sliding quickly after them and her tove.

"Run!" said Stu. Deneb switched to wolf and raced to the ferry as Stu clung to his back. Polydora passed him, the tove bouncing on her shoulder. They reached the ferry, where Nurt had opened the hatch by remote. They scrambled in. Nurt and Jaz ran up a minute later, and climbed in. Nurt closed the hatch and leapt into the pilot's seat as the others took their places. Polydora wedged the tove in an empty chair. Nurt lifted the ferry into the air as an octopus arm 30 feet long whipped past the windows, just missing them. He banked and headed for the Dauntless.

"Minkar, we'll meet you on the Dauntless," Deneb spoke into the com. "Nurt planted cameras so we can record what happens when the Jubjubs reach the Wabe."

He settled back in his seat next to the tove. "Stu, are you picking up any more vibrations?"

"Just that mother, mad as a hatter that you took her tove. It's going to hatch in a minute."

"Record this," Deneb said as he laid a hand on the twitching tove. It cracked, an arm poked through, withdrew and poked out again. The crack widened and Deneb could see two black eyes peeking out. The eyes blinked at him and an arm touched him. More arms erupted through the crack, and the tove split in two, dumping its hatchling at Deneb's feet.

"The first up-close view of a tove hatching," Deneb said in reporter baritone. "The octopus newbie is looking around. It will be in the care of Lt. Jaz on the Dauntless."

The octopus whistled, clicked its beak, and slithered into Deneb's lap.

"Oof, it's heavy. Let's get it in a cage."

"Oof," the octopus mimicked Deneb, wrapping three arms around Him. "Ma."

"Did that thing say something?" Nurt asked.

"It thinks Deneb is its mother," said Stu, perched on top of the door frame, not knowing if the octopuses ate chicken or whatever they could catch. "They can talk, like parrots, but they're not sentient."

"Tell it I'm not its mother," said Deneb pulling two arms off. Three more replaced it.

"OK," said Stu.

"Da," said the octopus. "Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da."

"I'm not its dad, either," said Deneb. "Stu, tell it to let go of me."

"No can do. He imprinted on you," Stu said.

"Jaz, help me with this thing," Deneb said.

It was difficult for six hands to manage eight octopus arms, but eventually Jaz, Polydora and Deneb got the octopus in a cage with mesh too small for the young octopus to squeeze through. He shrieked and clacked, crying "Da! Da, da, dada," until Deneb let him poke at arm tip through the mesh to twine around his fingers.

With a popping noise, a strong odor filled the cabin. "What's that smell?" Nurt asked, gagging. "Smells like rotten egg."

The group looked around the cabin. The smell came from behind a cabinet that held Jaz's equipment. Nurt opened the cabinet. A sudden blast of extremely rotten egg caused the team to gag.

"Braaaak!" A Jubjub, black as dirt and farting constantly, flew to the cage holding the octopus. Its long claws squeezed through the mesh. "Braak! Braaaaak!" It farted as it tore at the mesh, but the mesh held.

"DA! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the young octopus screamed.

"Jath, wha iz the Juhjuh ooing?" Deneb held his nose and tried to breathe through his mouth. His striking wolf eyes watered from the stench.

"The Jubjub eat the octopus to lay their toves," Jaz said, a filter mask clasped to his face. He had come prepared. The team stared at him. He hadn't mentioned the Jubjub use of rotten egg smell as attack and defense. Jaz looked at them. "More filters in the cabinet." Nurt looked in the cabinet and handed the filters out. Stu was squeezed in a very narrow slit between two cabinets, out of reach of Jubjub claws and beak.

"The Jubjub must have gotten in the hatch and hid before we got on," Jaz said. He grabbed the turkey-sized Jubjub, which kept pecking at the mesh. Polydora grabbed its beak and held it shut, causing another burst of rotten egg. Deneb dragged another cage out and the Jubjub was locked inside. It kept crying "Braak!" and trying to get to the octopus between gaseous emissions.

Jaz covered the Jubjub's cage with a cloth. The Jubjub quieted and the constant farting stopped, but the stench remained.

"Deneb? Deneb? Minkar spoke in Deneb's private link. "You're on air. You can't sign off for this report."

Deneb's heart sank. His upward career had just reversed direction. Twenty-billion people had watched the debacle of the octopus clinging to him and the capture of the Jubjub. At least they hadn't been able to smell the Jubjub defense.

"Report on the Jubjub attack," said Minkar.

Deneb updated the story as the ferry continued to the Dauntless.

Several hours later, after the smell of Jubjub fart had been mostly cleared from the ferry and the landing platform on the Dauntless, the team convened on the bridge for another live report.

Aura wanted to get the news reporters off her ship, and let the Leviathan Expeditionary Force take over. Her promotion to full Admiral and transfer to the Joint Chiefs of Staff had already been delayed months because the powers that be, i.e. Yildan, had decided she was the best commander to manage the work. She didn't reveal her annoyance or take it out on her crew, but her officers understood she was not pleased and stepped carefully around the topic of the exploration of Leviathan.

Aura sat in her command chair, watching the officers at their stations and the news crew live broadcasting to the Milky Way. The Dauntless crew had put the octopus in a glass case for better viewing, currently covered. Someone had added some water, and the infant cheeped and splashed happily in this new environment. The Jubjub (still in her cage next to the octopus, under a cover) rustled occasionally but was quiet and not releasing smells. Jaz insisted the bird would be quiet and not fart while in the dark. Jaz stood by the animals, ready to explain to the galaxy his finds and give the big reveal. Stu perched on the Communication Officer's chair, ready to report on any telepathic connections.

Deneb faced Polydora's camera, hoping to regain a little of his prestige. Unfortunately, the stench from the Jubjub had made the teams' eyes bloodshot. The Dauntless Medical Officers had been unable to reverse it. Jaz told them it had to wear off. Deneb wanted to shift and bite him for not warning them, but that would ruin any chance of keeping some sort of news career.

He looked directly into the camera, as though he were speaking directly to each of the 20 billion people watching. "Show us the octopus of Leviathan."

Jaz whipped the sheet off the cage with the octopus. He had drunk all the water in the cage, and was clinging to the rear pane, but on spotting Deneb leaped to the front. "DA! Dadadadadadada!" The cry echoed through the bridge, and was met by borborygmic rumbling from the Jubjub cage. The rumbling grew louder till it drowned out Deneb and Jaz.

Aura stared suspiciously at the Jubjub cage. She had a great deal of experience with exofauna, and had gotten a whiff of the smell left on her landing deck. Suddenly, she realized the Jubjub was quiet because the bird was biding her time. Her time was now. The Jubjub was going to blow.

"YEOMEN! GET THAT BIRD OFF MY DECK. ON THE DOUBLE!" She ordered. "CHIEF SPOONER! TAKE IT TO THE HOLDING PENS! THE AIRTIGHT ONES!"

Chief Spooner signaled the yeomen to pick up the cage. As they picked it up, Jaz, wanting to reveal his discovery, yanked the cover off.

The Jubjub fluffed every feather as her purple and yellow eyes rolled hypnotically. A long string of pops released a rank, noisome stench, the worst by far. "Braaaaaaaaak!" the bird shrieked, before biting her way out of the cage. She leaped to the octopus container, and beat her beak on the glass, breaking it. A large piece fell into the container. The octopus looked at the Jubjub, gathered his eight arms underneath him, and spurted through the hole. He soared over the surprised Jubjub and landed on the navigator's console.

"Get the bird!" Aura bellowed, as the octopus leaped to Deneb, wrapping every arm tightly around him. Deneb turned blue, bloodshot eyes bulging.

Chief Spooner grabbed the Jubjub by a leg, but the bird turned and beat across his face with her wings, breaking his nose, then pecked his fingers until he let go. A yeoman grabbed but missed as the bird flew after Deneb. The octopus released him and leaped to the ceiling, clinging upside down and watching the Jubjub. Deneb gasped as air rushed back in his lungs. Gallantly, he kept reporting.

"The Jubjub escaped and is attacking the octopus," came out in a hoarse whisper. He coughed, then said in a more normal voice, "The Dauntless crew is working bravely to recapture them. The Chief has been injured and is bleeding."

The Jubjub looked up at the octopus, gauged the distance, and spread her wings. She lifted into the air but was grabbed by Polydora, whose great strength succeeded where others failed. "Braaaaaak!" Unable to free herself from brawny arms, the bird turned to peck at Polydora. Aura grabbed her neck with one hand and held her beak shut with the other.

The bird rolled its eyes as they switched between orange and lime green. The bird released a massive, seemingly endless fart that caused the team and crew to stagger. One yeoman fainted, and a medic crawled over to check on her. Deneb, whose sensitive wolf nose was still shut down from earlier smells, grabbed the cover and threw it over the Jubjub. The farts stopped, and the Jubjub was quiet.

Yeomen rushed in with new cages. Polydora tried to wrestle the Jubjub in one, but the cover fell off, and the Jubjub began struggling. The last massive fart had seemed to exhaust the bird, but she clawed Polydora. The octopus stretched out on his arms, aimed his underside at the Jubjub and released a gallon of ink, soaking first the Jubjub, next Polydora, then Aura, and lastly, most of the bridge.

The Jubjub froze, eyes turning a pleasant minty green. The bird freed her beak and clamped it on the Admiral's hand. Everyone froze but Aura, who grabbed the bird's head preparing to twist it off. Aura stopped suddenly, and said, "She's drinking the ink. She wants the ink."

"The ink!" Stu cackled from the shadows beneath a chair. "She needs the ink to make eggs."

"That's why the Jubjubs eat the octopuses! They need the ink to make eggs!" said Jaz.

"Right on!" said Stu, pecking at the chair until it rolled closer, putting him deeper in the shadows.

"Get the cages," Aura in a calm, deadly voice that put her crew on red alert. "Collect some of that ink and put it in the cage for this...bird." Crew raced to follow the orders. She looked up at the octopus, an unearthly chandelier, blinking down at them. "Get that off my overhead. Now."

Ten minutes later the Jubjub was resting in a new cage, drinking ink that had been squeezed out of clothing and collected from puddles. She was quiet and not flatulent. Deben had coaxed the octopus off the ceiling and into another cage. Jaz gave the infant some of the mineral rocks that were octopus food, and he crunched happily, occasionally saying, "Da."

Nurt, true to his calling, had filmed and broadcast the entire event. Deneb, kissing his career goodbye and mentally preparing himself to work in holo-ads, wrapped up the broadcast. "Adm. Aura, with the assistance of our team member, Polydora, have returned the octopus and Jubjub to cages. They are resting comfortably. We have learned that Jubjubs need octopus ink to make eggs, and the Leviathan Expeditionary Force will research further to see what settlement can be made on the new planet. Signing off, Deneb Betelgeuse, for QARK."

Yildan retired from the Force, married Vara Syno, and was appointed governor of Leviathan. Aura was replaced by her first officer, and went to the Joint Chiefs of Staff, under the Naval Chief of Staff. When the bridge on the Dauntless was damp, it smelled faintly of rotten eggs.

Jaz joined the team settling Leviathan, and wrote lengthy reports on Jubjubs and octopuses, read only by Polydora. Polydora left QARK and settled on Leviathan where she raised Jubjubs and octopuses.  She had learned that Jubjub tasted like everything, and everything tasted like Jubjub, replacing the mythical Earth Chicken. She exported Jubjub meat and eggs, and octopus meat and ink, delicacies in great demand throughout the Milky Way.

The broadcast made Deneb a megastar, and he was promoted to Chief Anchor of QARK. Minkar followed him as executive producer, and Nurt took the producer's job. Stu joined Deneb's team as a telepath. His tail feathers grew back.