"So you want me to be her friend... but insult her repeatedly and harshly at the same time?" Victoria asked me as I walked to math.

"Yeah, that's the plan." I said.

"That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard but I think I can handle it." Victoria told me. I leaned over to her.

"Is there a reason Clarissa is staring at me like that?" I whispered. We looked over at Clarissa's half lidded eyes as she was hunched over at eye level with me.

"What's your favorite color? Is it green?" She asked me.

"Clarissa, lay off." Victoria ordered her. Then she looked over at Jaqueline. "And could you stop somehow cowering behind Elza? You're supposed to be some psychopathic manizer, not a little bitch. How are you even doing that? Elza's like... 3 feet tall."

"I'm lezz zan 4 inchez shorter zan you." Elza muttered.

"That's not what your slouch says. Fix your posture." Victoria said.

"So are we going to talk about what a coincidence it was that we all have the same class together?" I asked. Clarissa gasped.

"We should figure out where we should sit next to each other for the rest of the year! I call next to (Y,N)!" She said.

"You and I both know you need to sit in between me so I can pay attention to you and Elza so you strangle her before you strangle me." Victoria said.

"What? I don't strangle people, that's weird-" Clarissa nervously laughed before saying through gritted teeth "stop ruining this for me."

"Let's not pretend you don't have a track record with this stuff. Remember Frits?"

"...Who?"

"Dad's assistant?"

"I thought his name was Igor?"

"Wha- no! Not every hunchback is named Igor!"

"Well, duh! The female ones are named Elza."

"Vhat? I'm not za hunchback!" Elza shouted.

"Whatever." Victoria said before looking at Clarissa. "Anyway, could you not be an idiot for five seconds? Next you're gonna tell me dad's name is Henry and not Victor."

"...It's not?" Clarissa asked. Victoria started going off on a tangent again with Clarissa and Elza but I slowly maneuvered my way to Jaqueline who had been silent the entire time.

"Hey, are you Okay?" I asked her.

"No, I'm terrified! Are you sure your plan is going to work?" She asked.

"In all honesty? No. Not at all. But it's a better plan than nothing."

"Wow, that's reassuring." Jaqueline said sarcastically. "Does Victoria really have to be mean to me?"

"I feel like she has to not only for the plan but it's in her human nature to be mean, too." I told her. "But hey, maybe you actually will get her as a friend out of this."

"I highly doubt zit." We looked behind us to see Elza.

"Wait, how and when did you get behind us?" I asked.

"I got bored vith Victoria and Ze thing zo I zlipped behind you guyz vhen they veren't vooking." Elza said.

"You're accent got super thick just then." I said.

"Oh vreally? Vi didn't notiz." She said sarcastically.

"Hey, are you okay? Victoria makes fun of you a lot and you kinda just take it." Jaqueline says.

"She'z my bozz. Zi have to lizten to her no matter vhat and zeal wiv her bullshit or they'll zend me back to jail."

"Jail?" Jaqueline and I both repeated.

"Okay, zo maybe grave robbing vazn't az much ov a job before I met ze Frankensteins az much az it vaz a hobby. Vand maybe I may or may not've wanted to see how humanz tasted once zo I ate za couple. Vand maybe I got caught and zentenced to life in prison until her father offered me freedom in return for being hiz daughter'z assistant." Elza said.

"Creepy. Jeffery Dahmer." I said as Jaqueline looked visibly sickened.

"Besides, zit's not all zat bad. She'll never do vit avround ozzer people but she can actually be vreally nize to me."

"Hey, Elza! Open this door for me before I dock your pay!" Victoria said.

"You zon't pay me."

"Then I'll serve your plate for dinner and then throw it out the window into a polluted river." Victoria added before Elza went to open the door. Victoria looked at Jaqueline. "But before you do I've gotta talk to little miss prodigy over here. You, work on your evil bitch face. I can only do so much of the work in this 'genius' plan for it to work. You've gotta help sell the fact you're evil until the other you possibly shows up."

"Uh a-alright." Jaqueline said. She looked at me. "W-what the hell are you looking at!?... that's something she'd say, right?"

"No she's more like the type of person who'd like insult someone passive aggressively but if they insulted her back or annoyed her she'd threaten to kill them in a really gruesome way with a description that's probably like a paragraph long."

"You mean like Victoria?" Clarissa asked.

"Oh, shut up before I rip your arms off, strangle you with them, strike you with lightning so you come back to life, and then strangle you again with my own god damn hands!" Victoria told her.

"Like that." I said.

"Whatever we had a whole walk for you to practice this stuff. If you can't figure it out now you're dead. Sorry not sorry. I won't be attending your funeral and I doubt anyone else'll go either." Victoria said. Jaqueline's hair started to turn black as she gritted her teeth.

"Well I guess that's a good thing because if you did show up I'd assure you I'd rise out of my grave before mutilating your body, defecating on it, and then burying you alive! And once you finally suffocate, I'll have your freakish servant over there EAT YOUR REMAINS!" Jaqueline shouted. It was quiet for a minute before Victoria looked passed Jaqueline.

"What a comedian she is! She was so busy making jokes like that that we forgot to keep track of time! Isn't that right, Hayley?" Victoria said. Jaqueline looked behind her and her eyes widened as she saw everyone in the class staring at her as Elza had opened the door during her little rant.