"So you went to sleep with a broken arm!?!" I demand, healing it.

"Hey I was pumped full of adrenaline," Jackie shrugs, "I just woke up with a shooting pain in it."

I sigh, looking out the window at the snow in the night, calm and serene. It's so peaceful, blissful. It makes me just wanna curl up with Cathrine and close my eyes, no more abuse, no more guilt, just... peace. No more thinking about how I can only have my sister back in death. At least I have that much thought. She'll go to Heaven, and so will I.

"Wilson?" Jackie inquires.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Why do you have that locket on?" Jackie inquires.

"This again," I sigh, "I don't wanna think about it."

I open the window and go outside, into the cold with a smile.

"What are you-" Jackie demands as I sit in the snow, my thin jacket not enough for such cold for long. Yet I go outside anyways. I really need to clear my head out here for a bit.

"Wilson are you OK?" Jackie asks approaching me.

"I like the cold," I explain, "and I miss liking holidays. I do. I used to love Christmas and... well... Christmas at least. It was the only time of year I was truly happy. I still recall chatting with her near Christmas and I was happy. We would talk about the beauty of the cold Jackie and I was happy when we talked. Now I can't even look at her."

I sigh and ask, "if I... snap and end up killing myself, at any point, cause I'm gonna be honest, it's gonna happen, please, take care of Cathrine OK?"

"Why are you trusting me with this?" Jackie inquires.

"You love her too right?" I inquire, "there's a difference between family love and romantic love. She'll need both when I croak."

"So what you're saying is," Jackie asks, "You plan to kill yourself?"

"No no," I shake my head, "I just know I will one day. I'm betting Christmas. That's when it'll happen. That's when my mind is gonna break. Birthday of Jesus my ass. It's a day of sin."

I lay on my back in the snow, Jackie laying with me as she asks, worried now, "Are you trying to convince me to let you die?"

I shrug, "Guess so. I don't feel family love for you but I still wanna be friends until then so I guess it's easier for me to tell you to let me."

"You can't just keep being all 'it'll happen sooner or later.' If you want to not go off the deep end, you have to believe you won't. You won't as long as you keep trying. OK?" Jackie sighs, looking me in the eye.

Huh. Maybe she's right. I've just been thinking about how I don't expect to survive, but maybe if I think I will, then I will.

"You're right," I smile standing up, "I can't just flip a switch to remove the guilt, but I think that you have a point on this one. Thanks."

"Anytime," Jackie replies with a grin.

"So," I inquire, "why did you attack that party six months ago?"

"I..." Jackie turns away, "don't like to talk about it."

"You can trust me," I assure her, "I mean I literally broke the leg of the football captain on Halloween so I understand."

"Underage drinking," Jackie replies, sighing.

I fall silent, looking at her. She really is on my side. I really can trust her. I grin and explain, "We're the same. We both protect don't we?"

"You're right," Jackie replies, "we do."

"To be honest," I chuckle, "when we first met I thought we were gonna not get along cause of Cathrine, but I'm really glad we can put that aside."

"To be honest," Jackie sighs, "I really haven't. I love Cathrine, and let's be clear, we can be friends but I'm not gonna stop trying to get Cathrine back."

"I suppose that's fair enough," I shrug, "but in the end it's her choice who she wants to be with."

Jackie nods, "true."

"So what classes you gonna be taking?" I inquire, changing the subject.

"Biology is my main thing," she shrugs, "what about you?"

"I actually came here because of my grades on a biology exam," I explain, "in addition to... well Beth can tell you the details."

"Yeah Beth is pretty cool," Jackie smiles, "did you hear about the Dead Sea Dance concert in December?"

"Yeah I did," I sigh, "and we both know that that's gonna be a problem."

"Actually no," Jackie explains, "I've been to concerts for that band and it's not really bad like you'd think. In fact, maybe you should go, it'd help you see things aren't all that bad."

I shake my head, "OK so you don't seem to get it. We have to protect. I protect. It's what I do. It's what we do. Kids are abused in so many ways and we have to save them."

Images of those I couldn't protect echo in my mind as I shake my head, trying to block it out. "We have to," I proceed, "We have too. I ain't some worthless hick. They ain't taking anyone else away from me."

Jackie places one arm around me reassuringly, but it's not like Beth or Henry when she does. It's different. It's almost like-

No.

No. That's not how this stuff works. Not even going to finish that thought.

"It's gonna be OK," she grins.

"Thanks," I reply as she lets go, "anyways, I gotta go help students. Be 'Mr. Nothing' and all."

"Mr. Nothing?" Jackie asks.

"I'll explain later," I shrug, "cya later."

I go back in the window and exit her room, returning to mine where I refill the bowl of lollipops and change the sign on my door from, "Mr. Nothing is out," to, "Mr. Nothing is here to help."

Cause in the end that's all I'll ever be. I'm Mr. Nothing, and I protect...