Chapter 31 – Harry’s P.O.V.

            My whole world seems to crumble around me as the words fled my mother’s lip. My thoughts seemed to be a jumbled mess, disoriented as they swirled repeatedly with incessant questions on how this was possible. I tried to fathom this reality, but I couldn’t seem to wrap the idea around my head.

            I have a younger sibling.

            But the thought of my mother being pregnant while Gemma was still here is baffling. She hadn’t been large, and if she did grow, it’s not like I paid attention. For all I knew it could’ve just been her gaining weight like most people hiking up in age. Pregnancy would’ve been the last guess on my list.

            My mouth acts like a yo-yo as I try to process the information just laid on me. It seems implausible that my mother would’ve been pregnant when I was around, so when did she conceive a child? With Robin? When?

            Clenching my jaw hurt like a bitch with how violently I did it, but I couldn’t seem to get my mind straight. I could hardly even look at my mother as she watched me closely, and I was barely aware of Chloe standing a few feet away from me. I was pissed; beyond pissed. How could she hide my sibling from me for so long? Especially after everything with Gemma?

            First the engagement secret and now this?

            I’m not sure which one is worse.

            Mum was the first one to speak, her voice strained as tears continued to flee her eyes. “I-I planned on telling you, Harry. I-I just didn’t know how or—“

            I held my hand up to stop her, shaking my head furiously. I felt so betrayed, so unwanted that my heart was aching. I only let one more tear fall before I viciously wiped it away, spinning on my heel to leave. I glanced over my shoulder just barely at my mother, croaking out a pathetic, “I don’t even know who you are anymore,” before walking away.

***

            The balcony door slid open from behind me, but I didn’t turn around as I kept my elbows on the rail, my head in my hands. The cool breeze nipped at my skin as it brushed by, the chilling night air seemingly the only thing keeping me composed at the moment. The entire conversation with my mother seemed to be haunting my mind.

            Chloe approached beside me, leaning on the rail as she glanced my way. She didn’t speak, just stared at me as moment as a sigh left my lips. I didn’t want her to be in the middle of this shit, but I also couldn’t control any of my mother’s choices.

            Chloe just happened to be there when the secrets were spilled.

            “Are you…” Chloe cleared her throat, as if the courage to speak to me was collapsing. “Are you all right?”

            I scoffed just the slightest, running my hands over my face before heaving them through my hair. “I don’t know,” I admitted honestly, the pain in my chest never ceasing at the fact that my mother gave me up just to have another kid.

            Was I that much of a disappointment?

            Snapping at Chloe wasn’t my intention, but her next words made me want to dive off the balcony. “Your mom wants to have lunch tomorrow… I told her yes,” she whispered, fumbling nervously with her hands.

            I darted my eyes to glare at her, my hands curling into fists. “You what?” I growled through gritted teeth. “Chloe, do you not remember the previous confrontation with my mother? How the fuck do you expect me to sit down at a table and have a fucking meal with her?”

            Chloe squeezed her eyes closed. “Please calm down,” she murmured, looking away from me.

            I knew calming down would be the smart thing to do, especially since arguing seems to drive Chloe into madness mode. But my stupid mouth wouldn’t quit babbling. “I can’t calm the fuck down, Chloe! My mum lied to me the past fast years about this fucking husband, and this new child, and who the hell else knows?” I shouted.

            Chloe’s eyes glossed over as she chewed her bottom lip. “She deserves a second chance, Harry.”

            I let out a humorless laugh, rolling my eyes. “Oh yeah? And why the hell does she deserve that?”

            A new side of Chloe was now evident as she turned abruptly to face me, her cheeks flushed in anger as she glared right through me. I haven’t ever seen Chloe mad before, but I realized I didn’t like it by the way she began crying with her words. “Because you should be grateful you actually have a mom, Harry! I hardly even remember having one, and now you even have someone trying to be your father! My father hates my guts, I never even knew my mother, and you have the nerve to treat her like she’s nothing? She’s the reason you’re even on this earth right now, Harry! She’s trying to fix her mistakes and all you’re doing is being irrational!”

            My lips parted in shock as Chloe huffed, blowing hair out of her face before rubbing her temples. In a much quieter voice, she said, “You have a family that actually loves you, Harry. Don’t take advantage of that.”

            With tears still streaming down her cheeks, Chloe turned and left me alone on the balcony, leaving me completely baffled with a new perspective.

***

            My foot rapidly tapped up and down as Chloe and I sat at the table in the café, waiting for my mother’s and Robin’s arrival. A part of me hoped she would bring my sibling along so I could meet him or her, but another part of me didn’t want to see the kid my mum gave me up for. Not that I should have anything against the kid, they can’t control their mother’s decisions, but it would just feel wrong to be around someone my mum wanted more.

            Chloe placed her hand on mine, offering me a small smile even though I knew she was still mad at me from last night. She was already asleep when I had entered the room, but when I tried to cuddle with her, she scooted further away. She still had tear stains on her cheeks this morning when she woke up, but being rejected from holding her stung me a bit. I wasn’t used to the Chloe that stood up for herself and beliefs.

            But I’m proud of her for that, no matter the pain she added to me. She deserves to treat herself right, and I can’t blame her for that.

            “I’m sorry,” I had told her countless times this morning. But the only thing she had done was shrug it off and told me it didn’t matter. I knew that she was more passionate about my selfish behavior the previous day, but she dropped the subject and I let her. I didn’t like fighting with Chloe; it was too foreign.

            Just then the café door had swung open and in came Robin, then my mother; but she was holding something’s—or someone’s—hand. My heart picked up pace in my chest as I watched the three of them enter and scan for us. I couldn’t help but to let my eyes fall on the little boy standing next to Mum, looking about four or five with his small hand in hers. My emotional side tried to get the best of me and I almost felt like crying, realizing that I’ve missed some of the most joyous adventures with my little sibling.

            I missed his first words, his first steps, his first laugh, his first frown, his first cry; I missed all of the glorious stages of an infant. I didn’t know whether I should hate myself for not at least attempting to reach my mum, or if I hated my mum for not even attempting to reach me until her wedding.

            I think I hated us both a little evenly.

            The little boy gave me a soft smile when he saw me, but I avoided eye contact with my mother as they sat down. The little boy walked over, sticking his little hand out. “Hi! I’m Dillan. Mum said you’re my big brother.”

            My eyes glossed over as I grinned at the little boy, taking his miniature hand in mine and shaking it. “I’m Harry,” I said, catching everyone watching us from the corner of my eye. I ignored them, turning back to the smiling Dillan. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, little brother.”

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A/N: Omg guys, this is the LAST chapter of Schizophrenic! :O I can't believe we've gotten this far and thank you so much for all of the support! There WILL be an epilogue, and I think it'll surprise some of you (: Love you all xx

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